ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

BB01 sorry to see you here, i remember you from the May thread before i jumped onto the June one. We must have MC'd around the same time and everything your feeling is exactly how i've felt too. I had a good cry yesterday about it which was unexpected, i'm very weepy. No one has mentioned it for weeks now other than DP. Big hugs xx

Congrats nic that's a line to me!!

Brummie so glad you saw a heartbeat, your post made me tear up.

Positive OPK today. I'm excited that i'm ovulating but apprehensive for the journey we are about to embark on. TTC, possible BFP, worried and anxious pregnancy.. It was just exciting last time round.

Thanks for the welcomes! A few familiar faces here which is nice yet sad at the same time. Just been reading through a few posts. Many congrats to those of you with positive results or scans! Really hope they are sticky beans.

Thanks for the reassurance I'm not alone feeling these things, too. It is odd to feel so genuinely happy for someone and yet so sad for yourself and, bugger it, more than a bit jealous too. Esp when someone keeps conceiving by mistake!

I honestly feel more grateful than ever before for DD. I do think mc is very different when you already have a DC. But at the same time I had in my head an idea of the age gap we wanted and it's starting to slip away. And now I know how amazing it is to have a child whereas before I wasn't 100% convinced I'd like it!

Glad to see others are sensibly sipping their vinos. Think I read a Mumsnet phrase once that went something like 'Don't Stop the Wine Until There's a Line'

snoopy if you feel you are struggling at work please go back to your gp. It doesn't make you weak or a bad person to need to take time out to look after yourself. Your boss sounds like a right dickhead. Sorry it needs to be said. Don't mean to offend. Today at our Xmas lunch I was reflecting on how glad I am that I took my GPs advice and was signed off for a couple of weeks. I feel stronger for it in dealing with certain situations. Re baby aspirin... Views on taking it differ even between different medical profession peeps. Some take a 'it can't hurt' approach but others believe it can cause implantation issues if you don't have a blood clotting disorder. Comes up on the recurrent mc thread every so often.

brummie great scan news!

nic I can see something. Congratulations!!

Waves at everyone else. Is it the weekend yet?

Sorry you've found yourself here BB01 but its not a bad place to hang out and drink . The age gap thing isn't as important as we often thing it is. And I was obsessed with a close one. It sucks. But hey ho. I'd be grateful with any age gap these days.

BB I know what you mean about already having DC. I have 2 DDs, and I honestly thought my youngest would be my last, and then when me and their Dad split up, I had the Mirena in as I had no intention of having more kids, and my DH was very, very anti-more children considering what he went through with his DS.

I blame SIL for having such a bloody scrummy, adorable, baby (shes almost 2 now) and has made DH & I broody - it hit us all of a sudden over summer, but I was the reluctant one due to my reliance on my MH meds, but have been reassured they pose no danger to a baby.

My DSis said to me yesterday: Please don't stop TTC because you've had a MC. Its awful, but... Look what happens when a pregnancy ends with a healthy baby, all the joy and experiences that brings. And it will happen. You've had that before and you can have it again.

For a ditzy 22YO that is possibly the wisest most profound thing she has ever said (and is a single Mum herself to her 4YO disabled son) and I had a bit of a cry.

I said I felt greedy, that I've got 2, DH has got 2 (he always refers to himself as a father of 2 regardless of the face that youngest DS isn't alive) and we are being greedy, wanting more than our fair share.

Ladies I need advice / reassurance!
Monday and today I've had red mucus on wiping - anyone else had this? I'm on cd 11 of 1st cycle after wtf cycle. I'm supposed to be having my swab tomorrow which was postponed from last week coz I was on. And another hcg blood test outstanding too.
When will it all end?!?
Anyone?

Gr33dyeggs I'm not sure that I can help much but I've found that my cycles have been all over the place since my MMC. My wtf cycle was only 2 weeks long and ended with a light AF. The next cycle I had a +ve OPK on day 18 then spotting 3 days later. AF arrived in style on day 27. I think that our hormones are still settling- I certainly feeling so much better now. I've been taking B6 as it's meant to help regulate hormone levels and EPO.

Sorry your cycles seem a bit screwy gr33dy. I remember after having dd nine took a good couple of months to settle back down so it's probably just normal hormonal nonsense. I'm still in wtf cycle now so can't really give you anything helpful based on that. Remind me, did you mc naturally?

nic - that is a line!!!!!!!

bb oh love. I know. my little lady Is 3 and I wanted to have a baby in time for us to be home together before she goes to school next September (early summer born) ... but that won't happen now. Admittedly as tine goes on I can see the benefits of a bugger age gap, I think I'm accepting what is now..even though it wasn't my plan. I adore my dd, and knowing just how incredible it is makes it harder to know what I've lost.

stocking - there is nothing selfish about wanting to bring life into the world and show it with love. Xx

Yes guy I mc naturally at 11 weeks. I don't remember what happened after my first mc and I don't think I had a period months (maybe even a year) after DS due to breastfeeding. I had been so regular prior to this. Even had AF 4 weeks from the mc. It all just gets a bit much. Made worse by my 5 yr old seeing the blood because he was brushing his teeth and I wasn't expecting anything untoward so had a wee at the same time.

Hi BB01 this thread is a great place for support after MC. How are you doing? I completely agree with the emotions in your post, the past few months have made me more grateful than ever for my DS. I'm very much aware of the increasing age gasp (DS is 4) but in the longer term, a few more months won't make a difference (yes, I am trying to convince myself).
2015 is going to be the year for sticky beans and beautiful babies.
stocking that really is a heartfelt beautiful thing for your sister to have said to you.

Oh dear ladies :( I've had too much port to come and properly talk to you all.
Stocking, that was lovely of your sister.

Greedy, it will end. It's just a hard time at the moment :(

I am really feeling not being pregnant tonight. Dreading my due date - xmas eve.
Especially now knowing I won't be pregnant. Definitely.

Oh treacle hun thinking of you! What a difficult time it must be but we are here X

Thanks chasing how are you feeling? Xx

Congrats nic that's a line alright!! How fantastic! Fx for a healthy boring 8 months! :)

Bb so sorry for your loss x

I was phasing a smaller age gap too. But I get such a lot of comfort from my dd- I think this would have been a million times harder without her.

Big hugs treacle. It sucks.

Had my work Christmas lunch yesterday. There was a girl there announcing that she was due in June. She'd just had her healthy 12 week scan last week. That should have been me. I'm mostly ok with what happened- fairly philosophical about it- but that made me feel a bit sad.

Thanks ladies x

That must've been hard Guy :( Well done for getting through it x

Oh god. Typos!!! Time and bigger!!!!

For those of you wondering about age gaps, I am the eldest of 5 girls with the following gaps between me and them: 2.5 years, 5.3 years and 10 years (my youngest sisters are identical twins and their father is my Mums second husband) and we are all close. The teenagers provide me with lots of laughs and I live vicariously through them in no way do I encourage them to do stupid stuff I also have a step sister 7 years older than me that I met aged 8 and 20 years on we are still very close too. I have different dynamics with all of them but the base line is we love each other very much. The teens are the sort of teen I would have avoided at that age because I was a miserable goff and they're fake tanned hair/nail extenstioned screeching harpies but very entertaining.

Hehe Stocking that sounds lovely :)

I was also a miserable goff :p

Mt half sisters are 18 years older than me and they're twins but we're still close :)

Unfortunately June - sept is a v. Busy time for babies. It will be hard.. like you guys, I know several people due on or around our should have been due date.

With mu SIL I was thinking "aslong as i'm pregnant before neice/nephew birth" (and our dd) .... but as the methotrexate doesn't run out until February, I'll be at "crucial" scan time at that point. If I mc again while celebrating their new arrival I think it'll finish me off.

Thanks for asking Amyy physically I'm doing ok now. On my first period now and starting prenatals. Emotionally I just do my best to keep a brave face x

The only thing I wanted age gap wise with DH was to not have a newborn whilst I'm doing three school runs a day: 8:30 drop off, leave again at 11:40 to collect DD3 from Nursery and again at 3pm to collect DD6 from school. Obviously plenty of women do it but I didn't want to, and tbh, by the time we'd decided to have the coil removed in Oct, the earliest I would have been due was late July and DH would have done the school runs whilst off work.

2.5 years between my DDs was incredibly hard work, I kicked my ex out when youngest was 7 weeks old (he'd left them in the house alone for 20 mins whilst I spent 2 hours with a devastated close friend whose husband had left her for a teenager - first time I'd spent any time alone without DDs - he was also a cheater and a gambler but putting the kids in danger was the final nail in the coffin) had just gotten used to life on benefits (previous had 35k a year coming in) when I was evicted due to LL wanting to move back in so had no choice but to go to the council in my hometown and move with a 2YO and a 6MO in tow.

Age gaps don't bother DH as his eldest DS has just turned 12.

But DDs are very close and often co sleep with each other rather than in their own beds. They also torment the heck out of each other