ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

Just checking in, will read back later. That's me at CD10.... Here we go again

Hello there. I have been lurking for a few days and you all seem so lovely I would like to join you.

I had an mc last Monday at 6 weeks. I wasn't completely surprised as I just didn't feel right, and with my DD I felt pregnant and totally relaxed from the start.

I'm upset though, as we were trying and I feel that I have lost a version of our future. It's also an awful time of year for it with Christmas around the corner.

I'm sorry you are all here, but hoping we can all be of help to eachother. x

Welcome ultimateduck and sorry you are here.
Well I called the ward and explained mc 4 weeks ago and now brown spotting for 3-4 days and I was worried the infection may not have cleared. I was told 'it could be your period and it is probably just normal' wtf!!! I don't think 'probably' should be used in a medical situation. Get hcg bloods this afternoon so maybe that will help. Properly on knicker watch and feeling shit.
chasing are you still here - how are you doing?

Hi ultimateduck and I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know exactly what you mean about a version of the future. And obviously there is never a good time but Christmas will definitely be hard for us all, it's such a milestone in the year. At least the new year is round the corner and will hopefully seem like a fresh start.

I just had a call from 'the early pregnancy unit' (so much for the sensitive approach) to see how things were going. The woman said they had found "no abnormalities with the embryo" and I could start ttc again but she said she would recommend waiting until my next period. I didn't say that's not what Mumsnet thinks! I was a bit confused about the abnormalities thing but she said it just meant it hadn't been a molar pregnancy. I asked if there was any obvious reason for the mc and she said it was just the wrong egg and the wrong sperm. I forgot to ask if they could tell how old it was - I know it was ok at 6 weeks so would be interested to know when it had stopped growing.

Sorry you find yourself here. 'Lost a version of our future' is absolutely the perfect way to describe how I feel too. I don't feel like I lost a baby because it wasn't going to be a baby. But I was nearly 12 weeks so we had spent 6 weeks with this idea of what our future was going to be like. The future didn't change but our idea of it did.

Morning ladies,

Tried to catch up there and so sorry to the new ladies finding themselves here but the title does live up to its name!

Guy I am so sorry about your Dad. Hope you are holding up as best as can be. What a shit year for you hope next year is full of good news x

Sending hugs to everyone feeling down.

We have just came back from a weekend away that my Mam paid for as a break from mc for us. It was a lovely hotel and we had a lovely time but I couldn't help but think it was a sympathy trip and we shouldn't have had to be there. Especially when we visited the aquarium, my OH knew I always wanted to go so booked it.. but everyone was there with their children and that hurt. It sounds silly but felt like everyone was looking at me as if to say where is your child?

Anyhow, I would be feeling a lot better if I could work my af out! Its my first af after mc and started last Monday, but if anything it is getting heavier and not lighter... I was hoping this weekend would be when I would ovulate but I'm just so confused and can't find the answer on Dr Google so if anyone can help me my questions is If your af lasts for more than a week, do you still ovulate after 2 weeks, or would it be 1 week after the end of your af or... do you not ovulate?

TIA!

Ps While writing this out my work colleagues have decided to talk about babies and breastfeeding etc etc and just want to punch someone in the face! How insensitive people can be.

Amy you ovulate approximately two weeks before your period is due. So if you have a 28 day cycle, you ovulate about day 14. The first day of your period is day 1. The length of your period doesn't make any difference as far as I know.

The thread moves quite fast and you there's quite a bit of history on here, so I'm more reading at the moment. Sorry for all the shit times here. I normally feel really happy this time of year, but they are so right, Christmas just makes you feel shitter if you've had a bad run.

I don't get what is happening at all, I mc early at 4 and a half weeks so considering it's just a chemical pregnancy I thought it would be just like a late period, but I'm still bleeding cd12. It seems to start and stop. Last week i thought it was coming to an end and down graded to a panty liner, now it seems like fresh blood this morning and had to put pad on….

I should be gearing up to ovulate and I'm desperate to ttc straight away. I definitely can't ovulate whilst bleeding can I? Not dtd at all because I just don't feel like it when I'm still bleeding, but worry my chances are being dramatically reduced. Told hubby to knock one out in the shower this morning to keep the supply going, but he didn't feel like it!

Anyone else think my bleeding going on too long for a 4 week mc? It sucks. Feels like a constant reminder every time I pop to the loo or there is a gush.
x

Ah thank you Guy that makes more sense!

AF got me. No baby on the WTF cycle for me. Thats hit me hard :-(

Big hugs gr33dy. It will happen. Remember you might not have even ovulated this cycle while your body gets back on track. Good thing about af arriving is now you're at the start of a brand new fresh normal cycle and your body will be ready to try again. You also know that your body is healed once your cycle gets back to normal. All this is good news.
I know it hurts though and I'm sorry it didn't happen this month for you.

Hi ultimateduck sorry you find yourself here. Few of us struggling with Xmas at the moment. I'm trying to focus on the new year. New start. But it feels like I'm sticking my head in the sand.
enviousllama I've officially gone cuckoo over TTC and babies. We said we'd have a break until January but I'm epically failing and current trying to figure out when I might ov.
allchatnames I'm not sure about your situation. I've only ever mc later in the first tri. I'm sure someone will be able to help. Might be worth calling your gp or epu for advice.
gr33dy it will happen and guy is right. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Hope you're ok. Hugs.

And I hope everyone else is ok?

Well I'm struggling with everything. Even ttc. CD 11 I think so should be getting geared up. Ds has been sick all weekend and now dh seems to have caught same bug. I can't stop thinking about my mcs this year and what went wrong and how I probably won't ever know. I feel like its just going to happen again. And questioning whether i should be trying more to stop it happening. Seem to get pregnant relatively ok (ok probably jinxed that now) but not be able to hold on to my beans. I need to call my gp but I just can't get my head straight enough to make the call. Definitely going cuckoo.

Hi all,
Hope all is ok. Sorry to see new faces here :(
I'm 4 dpo in the last cycle I can get pregnant before my due date. Scared stiff that it will happen and scared stiff that it won't.

Ho hum.

I'm sorry greedy
I'm sorry that there are new faces here.

Just got back from dinner with a friend from work. Everyone's saying I shouldn't go straight back to work if I don't feel up to it, and I know with the hypothyroidism and the mmc I would feel better not working shifts, not carrying heavy equipment, not having abuse screamed at me every weekend. But I don't want to be that person that everybody talks about, sitting in an office. I'm so confused

And why do I still have brown spotting a week after the erpc. The discharge paperwork said it should have stopped after six days. How can I conceive again if the bleeding won't stop?

snoopy I had erpc 10 days ago, bleeding was might and only lasted 5 days and then I had a bit of spotting yesterday. No idea what's going on but I guess that's why this is called the wtf cycle. Have you done pg test?

I'm still so conflicted about ttc. Some days I just ache because we're not ttc right now until at least after first post mc period and I just desperately want to get pregnant because that's the only thing that will make everything OK again. Then the next day I am certain that I can't bear to try yet because it could happen again and everything is so hard right now with my dad so poorly. Some moments I even think maybe never again. The next moment I have no doubt, I think now, asap and of course I want another baby.

Maybe we should think about taking a longer break from ttc. More time to heal.

Regardless I think we're doing the right thing in taking a break of some sort, but it so hard. I'm still grieving for what I lost and I'm now at the start of an anticipatory grieving process for my dad.
Argh. Moan moan moan.

Hi ladies. Just jumping on placemarking as the bleeding from my mc stopped yesterday. And am now wondering what to do. In terms of TTC after mc, how do you do it? I have anxiety and take meds for it but have had to double my beta blockers to get through this week. All I know at this point is that I want to be physically close to my DH, we're very affectionate and obvs haven't been able to DTD but I need to this weekend, I can't stand not being intimate with him for this length of time God bless the Mirena for lack of periods for years and I'm obviously aware that DTD could end with a BFP. Which is what I want, I still want to continue TTC I'm just not sure how I can handle. I apologise for talking such utter rubbish and babbling.

for you all.

I feel the same guy and that's 8 months on from my mc.
Sending you hugs.

Morning everyone, thank you so much for the supportive welcome, it really has made me feel better.

My bleeding has stopped now after exactly a week. Now to get back on the ttc horse (dp).

allchat have you seen a dr about your early mc? Could it have been incomplete even though it was early. My bleeding stopped and started a bit with 11 week mc. Perhaps see if you're getting a neg test and if not try and see someone?

Thanks for your thoughts and support ladies. I just feel numb and on autopilot. I'll definitely be TTC this month - sod the downsides to an autumn baby - at least we'd have one!

guy so sorry you've got the additional stress of your dad being very poorly.

stocking you just have to wait til you're ready. My OH recently wrote a short story ( hes a copy writer) on mc from a male perspective and he commented how he can't believe how women just want to get back on TTC. For me I just feel empty and need to be pg again. I have a nearly 6 yr old and don't want the age gap any bigger. Make sure you're both ready.
Hugs to all.

Quiet here today

I feel that need to be pregnant too. I feel very empty today :(

Someone I was close to on here who had a due date of a week before me had her baby today and it's hit me hard.
Ho hum :(
I'm so fed up of moaning.

I feel like I don't ever want to be pregnant ever again.

Getting/being pregnant/giving birth/being a Mum is all I know. Its the one thing I have confidence in and its been well and truly shattered.

My OU materials were delivered today. This is stupid but I feel like, with the MC, me being anxious about a baby anyway due to meds I have to take, the fact that I had to re-arrange having my Mirena out 3 times due to things being out of my control (emergency dental appointment, child sick and child being in surprise assembly) and my degree materials landing in my lap today that maybe DH & I just aren't meant to have a child of our own.

Guy it really is a tough time let alone receiving the devastating news of your dad's illness.
It really is a grieving process post MC, coupled with hormones and shattered plans. I can completely understand your desperation to be pregnant again. The time between cycles and ovulation seems to drag. It makes things more difficult in that actively TTC you are acknowledging that you are no longer pregnant. I just wanted to be pg again immediately so that I didn't have to think about it.
There is only a 4% chance of it happening again. Don't apologise for moaning, this is the place for it.
Stocking you'll be in your wtf cycle so just go for it whenever the urge takes you. It may or may not happen this cycle but will do again soon.

Cross posted Stocking. It is natural to analyse past events (ie delays in taking Mirena out) but unfortunately they can't be changed. Looking to the future, everything is going to get much better from here.