ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

Hi everyone and sorry to those who have joined us. It's been a busy week as DS has been poorly which while horrible has been a distraction. Just a nasty cough/cold but hard for a toddler, sleepless nights etc. It also meant I didn't have to go into work for full days which helped the transition back.

My bleeding has now almost stopped (day 14) so I guess I will test this week and maybe start thinking about ttc again or at least dtd - it has been a while now. It has been interesting to read others' experiences of the wtf cycle.

I just went into the cafe where I work (I am off today) and there is a girl who has blanked me since I snapped at her a few weeks ago, when I had first started bleeding and she didn't tell me my mum had come in to see me - she was waiting an hour before I realised as I work in the back office. I decided to explain why I had snapped that day and try to make amends, so I told her the whole truth about what had happened and that ultimately I had had a mc. She basically laughed in my face and told me she had no sympathy. I left and cried in the car park. I feel so stupid for opening up to her and showing some vulnerability but I wanted to explain and sort things out, it's horrible working with someone who isn't speaking to you and although I shouldn't have snapped I kind of assumed she would take some responsibility too and it would be a fairly easy thing to sort. She's obviously been harbouring a lot of anger about what happened and no matter what I had told her she would have thrown it back at me. I am pretty devastated.

Aww Msjupiter, that's awful. I did not see your post about what happened but anyone who reacts like that after you explained is an arse and not worth another thought. God that makes me really angry!!! How dare she. Some people just have no idea at all.

Hello to everyone and sorry to those joining us. I'm grumpy tonight as I have had a looonnnnggg week and just want a soak with a glass of wine. Unfortunately we have to go to a drinks party and I am designated driver. Super. On the upside though if I get my turn out the way tonight that's me done for the next few weeks as there are 6 of us to take turns.

I came home from work today to find a follow up appointment for the pregnancy assessment unit at the larger hospital. slightly thoughtless in its title but I assume this is of or investigative blood tests. Also not a great deal of notice and I'm flat out in court at this time of year. I'm going to try and go but if it's the same consultant as last time I will be straight out the door.

I will catch up properly tomorrow but thinking of you all.

Thanks allthequeens but sorry to hear about the letter, that is really insensitive of them to invite you to the pregnancy unit. At my hospital there is a joint unit for early pg and gynae - I would assume they would invite a woman to the latter after a mc or for further investigations.

Hi new to this site and of course this thread but my message is for Guy I had a similar thing happen my pregnancy stopped at 7 weeks and my gyno gave me an option of having a d&c or doing it naturally. I chose naturally cuz frankly hospital freak me out but I was 9 wks when I was confirmed that it had stopped and had the natural mc and what would of been 12 wks at home on 2 Tylenol hope this helps

Hi all, thanks for the positive messages.

MrsJ your colleague is a cunt. Ignore ignore ignore. Some people are just fucking believable.

MrsC I'm so sorry your still slightly in limbo. It's so hard. Hope you have some answers soon.

So my dad is really poorly. It's cancer and it's very advanced. Just diagnosed a few days ago although it is the result I expected. He's having major major surgery this week. I'm at their house now and it's so awful being here. Don't know how to help.

This last month can just fuck right off. Christmas can fuck off too.

I could really do with some good news. We're not ttc this month just because we felt it would be good to wait to make sure my cycle was back on track. Plus I'm consoling myself with a lot of gin at the moment. I do want to get pg soon... So much. Desperately. But I don't know. So much going on. It's actually a really hard decision.

Oh guy so sorry to hear about your dad, how awful to have all these things at once. Gin definitely needed, and lots of and . None of this is your fault. Lots of TLC
jupiter don't listen to her, you poor poor thing. You're an amazing strong woman to try to sort things out. Much respect!
Hospital phoned, hcg at 91 so cancelled scan and said get more bloods done next week. Presuming that's good!

Hi ladies hope you don't mind me joining.

I started bleeding yesterday morning at 10+5 and went to the EPAU. They scanned me and discovered that the sac was only measuring 6 weeks. Utterly devastated.

Bleeding got worse this morning and by the afternoon (in the middle of Tesco) the cramping was unbearable. DH drove me home (left DD with my mum who was shopping!) and over the following couple of hours I miscarried.

I feel lost, empty and utterly devastated. Not sure what to do now. I did call the hospital and they said to come in if I was bleeding through pads every 20 mins. I wasn't and I'm sure I passed everything as after the last big clot (sorry tmi!) the pain disappeared completely.

Will call midwife on Monday morning but just not sure what to do!

Am really sorry for everyone's loss. It really sucks! Lots of and

Welcome and sorry to see you here mooley

mooley so sorty to hear of your loss. You've found an amazing group of ladies here, so wise and lovely. There's no easy way through, it's a horrid horrid thing that's happened to you. Be kind to yourself, take the time you need and come here any time you need.

Thoughts are with you mooley. So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. X

Hello ladies - haven't posted in a while but very much a long time lurker. I'm so sorry to see so many new people here, but this thread was a godsend in the weeks that followed my first MMC in June and subsequent MC in August. I'm sorry that so many are Going through such a tough time right now.

We're still in the TTC journey and AF got me yesterday, which is only the second cycle since my second MC but over a period of 14 weeks as my cycles are irregular to say the least. I did think yesterday that AF was the start of a new cycle and had lots of positivity about this time would be our time and that DH and I are both off over Christmas and will have lots of time to DTD etc!! But the reality is, it hurt like hell. My first due date is 8th Jan, due to my very long cycles it's unlikely I will have a BFP before then.

Tonight we went to DH works
Christmas party. One of his colleagues wives is pregnant, a few weeks behind where I should be. I'm disappointed that I couldn't hold back the tears, I couldn't make small talk and I resented her very existence. I know it's not her fault but I resented that her baby is growing and mine didn't life is so unfair and MC is just shit. DH was great and even offered to go straight home, but I consoled myself with wine which very smugly knew this woman couldn't indulge. Please tell me I'm Not a complete bitch and totally unreasonable. It hurt me More than I ever could have realised and the envy was unbelievable.

Apologies for the pity party, me me me post but there are few
People In this world who could ever comprehend the feelings that MC brings.

Sorry to hear it mooley. I'm sure you've got pads but just to say I did have a couple more episodes of cramping (not as bad as the first) so make sure you've got some painkillers at hand and give yourself time and space to recover.

Allthefours that sounds completely normal to me - you've been through a horrible time. I am dreading a party I have to go to in a couple of weeks as there will be a lot of baby talk and if there are any surprise 'announcements' I know I will struggle to plaster on any semblance of a smile (more likely I'll make a dash for the loo).

Allthefours - your reaction sounds perfectly normal to me. My BFF is due the day after I would have been in May. Saw her last night, and although I think a conscious effort was made on her part not to talk about it too much, I still found it really difficult, particularly when she was talking about her plans for mat leave in May etc.

AlltheQueens - hope being a designated driver last night wasn't too traumatic. Glad you've received your referral to the bigger hospital (even if the letter was poorly worded). Hope you manage to make your appointment - let us know how it goes. Thinking of you.

Not sure if anyone else can identify with this feeling (and I guess it's different for those who are already parents) but I feel like an inbetweener at the moment. All my close female friends have embarked on this amazing journey into parenthood and I feel that I'm on a completely different chapter to them. I find it so isolating. I'm also petrified that parenthood might never happen for us and that we'll always therefore be the isolated, socially awkward ones.

alltthe4 its completely normal to feel that way but its awful because you don't want to.
As many have here recently, I was baby bombed last week - a friend from school announced she's due 2 days after I would have been on FB.
guy sorry its such bad news for your dad. I can fully understand most of us wanting this year to end sooner than later!
MsJ horrible colleagues are a nightmare, she sounds a nasty person.
Sorry to the new faces here.

So, I've had brown spotting I thought was period beginning (or optimistically implantation) now its more like (tmi) a discharge when I wipe so I'm staying off tomorrow and going to call EGU to see if they'll see me. Worried its an infection or an ectopic - read about 'prune juice discharge'. Still not had neg urine and as I was getting line eye I had blood on Friday so not signed off by them yet officially. Feeling completely let down by my body.
cariad I felt like you until I got my son. Big hugs.
envious thanks for the fx!

guy I'm really sorry about your dad. My thoughts are with you.

allthefours I can completely relate to that! baby bombing is just awful! it's certainly one of my biggest struggles right now.

cariad that's exactly where I am. There was one or two left but now all I have is you ladies. I am so sick of the man at the bus stories, you know the oh so and so had 151 mc and now has 75 kids and all is fine. I know people are trying to help but I feel stuck in this lonely place and don't really think anyone out there gets it.

treacle where are you? Hope your ok.

So my Sunday worry is af. I'm due Thursday, and one of my mc was 2 weeks after af due. So now every month I worry about getting a bfp and then count when I might mc. That would be Xmas day. Makes me scared thinking about being pregnant even though that's all I want. I know that's irrational but I'm blaming the hormones.
Housework today, yeah. And mumsnetting hopefully.

Thanks for your kind words Allthequeens and Gr33dyeggs. So sorry you've had to go through this as well.

A trip to EPU tomorrow sounds like a good idea Gr33dyeggs. Thinking of you.

Sorry to hear about your dad Guy - wishing him a very speedy recovery.

How are Brummie and Purple doing?

I'm here allthequeens :) Thank you for thinking of me.
I'm very hungover today so just been reading and not posting.

I do the same thing as you with worrying when I would miscarry.
I guess we have to just be positive. Even though that's a mammoth task!

envious

this is the sperm meets egg plan- spermmeetseggplan.com/

It was originally designed for women ttc after mc but i followed it to get pregnant with the baby i lost and i caught in the first cycle. I hope you catch during your WTF cycle, good luck! I'm not even sure if i ovulated though i did get ewcm (so i dtd) 2 weeks before my period arrived so i could have. I'm on CD3 so will let you know how i get on using it this time.

How are you doing purple? Have been thinking of you xx

I think all the envious and angry feelings about others being pregnant is totally normal. I'm due to go to DP's dad's for Christmas, he runs a pub down south and the bar maid that i get on with well is a few weeks ahead of what i would have been. It's going to be so hard seeing her excited :(

Thank you for asking Cariad and Haribo. I am still hanging in there, at least I am convincing myself I am as I am being sick every day, feel permanently crap and nauseous and am struggling to eat anything very much. It is making me pretty miserable but at the same time I know how lucky I am to have got this far and I freak out just a little bit if the symptoms let up just for a moment.
We have booked an early scan for next Saturday so I guess we will know more then either way.
Sorry for all those having a bad time, I have been keeping up and feel so angry for those who have been treated badly by inconsiderate, or downright nasty people. Thinking of you all xxx

I'd read about the smep before but hadn't realised it was devised specifically for ttc after mc. It is confusing though as some (most?) people are still bleeding on the 8th day after starting to miscarry, I am only just reaching the end of the bleeding on day 15. Or is that abnormal?

I was going to wait to test until the bleeding had stopped to make sure I had a negative before starting to have sex again. So maybe I will be too late. I guess it is hard to know in the wtf cycle. We will give it a go, if only to get back in the saddle as I know we will both be nervous.