ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

guy I read the thread envious put up and also did some article searches. I could find no evidence that TTC straight after had increased chance of things going wrong. OH was/is worried about it so that was why I looked. After initial feelings of 'never again' I really want another child so am keen to be trying again.

The one thing that bothers me - if anyone can help - is with an absence of pre mc scan or bloods how can you know you didn't have a molar?

Sorry to hear about your dad guy Hope today goes ok.

I'm going for a blood HCG with GP on Friday - finding the whole 'is it a feint line?' annoying. Also booked for a swab the week after to check infection has gone.

Hello,

Really sorry to crash the thread. Hope you don't mind and sorry for all the difficult times on here

I was pregnant last week (tested mon & tues), then I started to MC with cramping and bleeding (buckets) on wednesday. I'm still spotting today a week later. When I tested on Monday it was my due date. The CB test showed 1-2weeks preg.

Bought a cheapie test from pound shop yesterday and there was faint line. Used other test today (same packet) and stronger line. Then did CB. It still says pregnant 2-3 weeks. Last week it said preg 1-2 weeks. I know they cannot be relied on, so I just need everyones thoughts please?

I was only 4 weeks and a few days when I started to miscarry, so I wouldn't have thought a week later the hormone would have been all gone. How long does it normally take? Have I tested too early? (just the conception thing has thrown me a little)
Thank you x

Have you had a scan or spoken to a doctor, allchat? I think the hormones can stay around longer - I had a mc 10 days ago and haven't tested yet (I was 9w). But I think they can also stay longer if you have retained tissue so if you have any concerns it would be better to speak to someone about getting scanned.

Back at work today, just a half day. Harder than I thought. Every time anyone asked me a question I snapped at them. Then cried when I got home. Not great really.

I have just had a scan. It was miscarriage. Just body and CB messing me around. Thanks for replying. Sorry you've had a shitty time.

Isn't it odd how a positive test can make you feel at different times of your life.

I've just done an Internet cheapie to see if the line was getting fainter and it was the strongest positive I've ever had.

I'm feeling some of the strongest self loathing I've ever felt right now. Not only could I not make a healthy baby but when the baby's heart stopped at eight weeks my body couldn't even work that out and miscarry by itself. If I hadn't gone to the epu because of a gut feeling i'd still be none the wiser.

I have no faith in myself today. I don't believe I will ever have a baby.

Work can be tough after mc Msjupiter. Have you gone back too soon? Everyone is different. Some like to get straight back to it because it helps them get on with things and others need much longer. There's no right or wrong amount of time to have off. Earlier this year I had a week off after mc at 10 weeks. Should have may be taken a bit longer. This time I've had 3 weeks off and back now doing half days. Think bottling up first experience has had a knock on effect this time. This morning I have heard pregnancy announcements, birth announcements and had colleagues discussing the snip. Wtf. All in 4 hours. Wish I could have got in a big hole under my desk to avoid people. Everyday I'm coping a bit better. Then I feel bad. And guilty. And sad. Grrr...

Thanks mrs. I did feel earlier like I really couldn't cope and thought about going to the doctor to see about getting a bit more recovery time but thought I was overreacting. I usually work 2.5 days per week and didn't go in last week apart from a couple of hours to check post so thought ten days off would be enough. Unfortunately my workplace is not very family-friendly (I am one of only two parents) and my boss thinks mat/hol/sick leave etc is a disgrace so I was hoping to get through this without her knowing. Maybe that is a mistake. I just think she'd be sympathetic to my face but then be 'watching' me for any sign of future pregnancy.

Anyway I'll have to see how tomorrow goes I think. Thanks for the advice and to all of you for making me feel less alone in all this.

Snoopy Can totally relate to how you're feeling that's exactly how I've been feeling recently :( I feel like if I ever get pregnant again how could I even trust my body. Horrible feeling!

AllChat Sorry for your loss :( I was told to take a test 2 weeks after mc (mine was medically managed) and if it was still negative I would have to go back to hospital. I got to 2 weeks and still tested positive but didn't feel ready to speak to them so I done my research and it can take 3 weeks for hormones to go back to normal, any positives after 3 weeks you should contact your GP/Hospital/EPAU as you may not have passed everything. I ended up testing negative exactly 3 weeks to the day I started 'fully bleeding'

MrsDiddly Sorry you've had a rubbish day at work, sending hugs!

MrsJ Hope you're feeling better soon. My work is very similar only my boss found out about me being pg before I was ready to tell him and now know about our mc... now I can tell he's already checking for signs even though I haven't told anyone we will be trying again. Very annoying.

Snoopy think how strong your body was being, still trying so so hard to nurture something even though it wasn't going to develop. Maybe that's not a body you can't trust, maybe that's a really determined and strong body.
At least that's how I'm trying to think about it. Mmc is hard to understand.

Hugs MrsJ. Normal life after loss is such a hard transition. Give yourself time. xx

Hi all, I need to read back properly but struggling to focus.
I agree with what everyone has said MrsJ, take the time if you need it.
I had one week off and then was on holiday the week after but still don't feel that was enough.

Just popping in to send you all huge hugs. I keep thinking I'm going to be back here for some reason but can't put my finger on why, no symptoms of a mc at the minute but I'm so scared of a silent one as I had such little spotting last time and no pain. But I keep telling myself after POAS for the billionth time today I am pregnant, really hoping it happens for all of you lovely ladies very soon, you all deserve it so much, lots of love x

Just seen a pregnant posing Kardashian flash up on FB. Its made me really sad.

Hi can I join? I have just had mc confirmed today and am in bits :( couple of questions before I read the thread. How long is best to leave before ttc again? And just had a metronidazole suppositrie, will I be able to drink tomorrow night cos know you can't on metronidazole oral? I feel I need a couple of glasses of wine :/

Mummy so sorry you find yourself here sending hugs. The only advise we can give you regarding ttc is that you wait until you're ready. That could be straight away or you may want to give your body some time. There is no medical reason not to try straight away (other than waiting until you test negative so that you can be certain of a new pregnancy). Sorry I can't help with the drink but hopefully someone else on here can! x

Thanks Daisy and so pleased to hear you're ok x

GreedyEggs I too saw the pics on facebook, as well as a load of newborn baby photos off friends. I haven't been back on since I can't handle it right now :(

Just checking in. MMC in September, coming towards the end of my first 2ww since the MC and feeling particularly crappy (in a good way) but I don't actually know when I ovulated. In a bid to be more chilled out..... trying to be chilled out now but I am struggling to hold off POAS. Love to everyone and I hope Santa leaves healthy beans under the tree for all! xxxx

Negative pregnancy test this morning. It's properly over now. Phew.

Guy do you mind me asking how long you had to wait for a negative?

I had a negative pregnancy test as soon as the bleeding started, bloods still showing 20 so going today for them to be repeated to check levels are going down x

Just checking in, offering hugs. Sorry for those of you so early in your mc recovery.

I'm pretty close to ovulation so DH and I should have started on some concerted shagging efforts but I've got a throat infection and he's having wisdom teeth out. This may not be our month... Doesn't stop me feeling like I'm on a deadline. It's a bit complicated to explain, but we've got some big stuff coming up in April 2016 so I'm running out of time to spend with my baby before I have to deal with that - pregnant by Christmas, that was the goal. Well, bringing the twins home by Christmas was the original goal. Wish it didn't make me so anxious but it does.

Snoopy I'm not sure how to work it out! mmc was discovered 3 weeks ago. Two weeks later, so last Wednesday, I miscarried naturally. Had retained products so had erpc last Friday. So about a week from erpc. If I hadn't had the erpc but mc had been complete, I would imagine it may have taken longer. If I'd waited for it to complete, it would definitely have been much longer.

Snoopy I would have been 12 weeks now if that helps.

My natural MC at 11wks was 3 weeks and a bit ago. I tested at 1, 2 & nearly 3 weeks and was getting feint lines (previously only had really obvious ones) so my GP said I can have a hcg blood done tomorrow. envious we've been dtd since about 10 days after MC when I had definitely stopped bleeding. The way I see it is if I do catch and I can't be sure of dates then scan me - They do it for plenty of other women! Plus I was told womb empty and endometrium slightly thickened like you.
guy glad you've got your negative.
Hugs back Giantmama

giant every month feels like a deadline to me but only self imposed. We always struggle DTD when one of us is under the weather. Dh took one for the team the other week moaning about a sore testicle! God. I must be awful making asking him do that. Think lots of us will struggle this Xmas. Not only should my baby be here, the 2nd time lucky bean has jumped ship too. Do twins run in the family? hugs back ... And and too