ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

snoopy I'm only just starting to get my head around some of the testing that's done to investigate rm so not able to give any advice on the test in the posters. I can understand where your dh is coming from with your family's history in mind. Maybe someone else can help on here or it might be worth asking on the mc board. Don't rush feeling better. Make sure you take as long as you need.

guy it's a big thing that's happened. You're allowed to feel sad. It's completely natural. Which doesn't make it any easier. Things will get easier with time. In the meanwhile, you're not alone. We're all here. take as much time as you need to deal with this.

I think I'm getting my period :(
I'm so sad. I don't want a period, I want a baby. I want the baby I lost who I had all those hopes and dreams for. I want the small age gap. I guess we don't get what we want.

Sorry to everyone else feeling down, it really is really shit.

Haribo, I really feel for you! it hit my like a tonne of bricks when AF appeared a couple of weeks ago. I was convinced that I would get pg straight away and was absolutely gutted when I didn't.
What it does mean is that your body is getting back to normal and that you're coming to the end of your wtf cycle. It's onwards and upwards from here. Take it easy this week.

Oh Haribo

I know that feeling. I sobbed and sobbed whenever I got my AF. But as the very wise Monten said to me, remember it's a fresh start and you can try again.

Feeling for everyone feeling so low and so shit.

I'm sat waiting at doctors. I survived long enough to make it to docs. So at least if anything happens now, the NHS have it recorded. The doc will probably go bat shit crazy that I'm taking aspirin.

I also got to my first milestone yesterday - the day I lost my first one.

If I make it to Christmas Day, I'll have it made it further than my last pregnancy.

Big hugs to you all

haribo feeling your pain too, it's so awful isn't it :( sending hugs x

brummie hope you're holding up ok, yesterday must have been tough for you. Hope everything goes well at the docs this morning x

Docs was ok this morning and he was surprisingly ok that I was taking aspirin. He said it was the first thing they'd do if I'd had 3 miscarriages.

So I feel much better about taking it. All he said was that without being tested there was no guarantee that was the cause and if aspirin isn't the answer then I still could have an mc.

But I feel like I've increased my chances so that makes me feel better.

Glad it went well Brummie x

Pleased it went well Brummie x

that's good news brummie- good to know that you're making all the right decisions and giving yourself the best possible chance.

So sorry Haribo. I am expecting my AF to arrive somewhere are around Xmas and already dreading it. I think it is probably one of the first horrible milestones we all face.

I have been semi- 'baby bombed' but luckily only on fb and I'm home alone. It's someone from my post-natal group, due a few weeks earlier than I would have been. She's had a horrible year and I don't begrudge her it (not that I would if she hadn't) but still, I wish my scan had looked like that. Have shed a few tears.

aww MrsJ sending hugs. Its horrible isn't it, not fair at all. Not that I would wish anyone to go through this, but wonder why we have been so unlucky.

I had to go for that meal with our 'pregnant couple' friends at the weekend who were very much pregnant and it broke my heart. Don't get me wrong they were very sensitive and babies were not mentioned at all which I was grateful for but watching her rub her bump was just awful for me.

I mean I'm almost sure it will happen for us one day and we will have a beautiful healthy baby, but I wanted this baby :( hey ho.

So sorry everybody is having such a tough time at the moment, thinking of you all.
Really glad your appointment went well Brummie and he agreed with your decision. It has got you this far!
Haribo so sorry you are feeling so down, totally understandable. I felt much the same when I got my af after the wtf cycle, but actually it was the beginning of me being in control of the situation. I'm sure it won't be long for you now and your little ones will still be close in age. I know that doesn't help right now though

What is the deal on ttc during the wtf cycle? Yay or nay? Evidence? Still thinking might leave it for a month to help me heal emotionally but I'm feeling really indecisive. Think dh will let me decide when I'm ready.

Guy I TTC during the wtf cycle because my view was if I didn't expect anything then that was ok but you never know.

Carry on as normal was my mantra!!!

Is there any risks associated with conceiving during wtf?

Guy when I was awaiting my ERPC the midwife told me to start trying as soon after as I wanted, she said there's no need to wait,
Apparently some Drs advise to wait as it makes it easier to date a subsequent pregnancy.

Thank you.
I'm completely torn. I feel that the only thing that will let me deal with this mc is getting pregnant again asap. But I am so scared. And I also think it would be healthy for us to take a month or two off just to give us some time to get some normality back. Everything has been so screwed up.
Unfortunately this has all happened during the same week as my dad has got a cancer diagnosis. We'll find out tomorrow how bad but stubborn old bastard smokes and drinks and experienced symptoms for almost a year before going to doctor. I guess I'm frightened of what we're going to find out tomorrow when I'm already feeling so vulnerable and desperately looking for a way for everything to be ok. And it seems that everything will be ok when I have a healthy pregnancy as it will be as if the mc didn't happen. Argh, why am I linking the two things? They are clearly unrelated.

Sorry- I'm completely dominating the thread. Sorry for all the self-involved posting.

Guy I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. I don't think you are dominating the thread but you are asking questions I am wondering about myself. I think I too feel like if I get pg quickly it will be like the mc never happened. I expect that is why the first AF is so hard - brings reality crashing back in. I am pretty sure I am in some kind of denial at the moment and just want to be pg again. So I appreciate all the chat.

guy don't feel bad, that's what this thread is for. I lost my day four and a half years ago. In June when I had the second mc it was around the anniversary of his death. The World Cup was on, like it was four years ago when he died. I felt overwhelmed by grief, not about the mc but about him. Of course they are not linked but its only natural that they bring up the same emotions. Sorry you're having to go through this, it's an incredibly worrying and sad time. I really hope it's good news tomorrow.

Sorry about the baby bomb envious. Some people bug me more than others, and it doesn't have to be people I know well either. It's always shit