TTC for 10 months, and all the rest. 10 plussers welcome.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread full of the most amazing women.

Nelly, I am afraid you are right. if it's high you will just worry about something else . Have we had a plusser who hasn't actually worried through their pregnancy? When I think about it most plussers seemed fairly calm but perhaps they were mentalling away from this thread.

Ray - it's difficult isn't it becauses being surrounded by young family members at Xmas must be very hard and then the alternative is to hide away. We kept being told by BIL that Xmas was so much more fun with kids, I wanted to slap him. But another bug bear is being told by parents that we are lucky we can have lie ins and don't have the stress of kids. I want to ask whether they have ever been through the stress of infertility. At least with kids there should be good times that outweigh the bad. You don't get that with infertility.

Joy, I think there is a world of difference between child free by choice and therefore enjoying holidays, lie ins etc and being infertile. Of course I do like my lie ins and not having the responsibility. But when you're suffering with infertility, life isn't stress free.

I do worry though that me and dh have got so used to out childless ways that we would really struggle to adapt to being parents. It would be a massive lifestyle shift for us.

Ray that is a current very real thought in my head! We've become very good at taking full advantage - expensive longhaul trips away or selfish sports. Remind me of those things in 2 hours when I'm wailing into my wine glass....

Joy I always remember reading a sign in a hospital waiting room about Infertility before I knew this would apply to me that said "The only thing more painful than giving birth, is not giving birth". :( I do think that the journey to our BFPs will allow us to apply perspective when things are tough on the other side. Mad and I discussed this the other day, and I've talked to my sister about it too. Instadiffers are prone to whinging. I have one friend who I think I've mentioned before that posts things on FB like "I'm so fed up of my children, can someone please take them today".

I agree with that, Nelly! I think there is less useless whinging on this side of giving birth and I do agree with that waiting room poster so much. Although it's a risk as well, that longtime ttcers put too much pressure on themselves to enjoy it all and be supermums. It's something to keep in mind when the little people arrive :)

Crossing everything for this afternoon, despite typing away

Have fun in Cornwall, berry!

Good to choose yourself, ray! We had boring Christmas the year before last, it was the tight decision but miserable in its own way. So make a plan to do something nice or eat and drink good things!

Joy, 12 weeks? Be warned your pregnancy may well start speeding up now. :)

Oh god, I'm sorry if my rant about Xmas upset anyone. I really wasn't saying to Cos "oooh, enjoy the lie ins and booze and consider yourselves lucky". I was just trying to say in a v clumsy way that you should do what makes you happy. Life is tough enough. Infertility / long term TTC is the pits. I don't think anyone on here should feel guilty for putting themselves first, ducking out of painful gatherings etc. Sorry if I said it badly. I do realise how lucky I am, I've actually been called a martyr mum to my face this week, which really stung and I do think it's leftover, unresolved feelings from long term TTC. I think lemons has that spot on.

Nelly watching & waiting with you for the next hour. Hope it passes speedily. DH's never get it. You are clearly the more stressed party. Tell him I said so and therefore he has to lavish you with stress relieving gifts and acts of kindness

ray I think the lifestyle change can come as a shock to everyone. You just deal with it somehow and muddle through.

berry enjoy Cornwall. I love it there.

joy I agree with drizz that things do seem to speed up a bit once the first tri has passed. I hope things will get easier from here on in, but I think you are right that no 10+er pregnancy is worry free.

nelly and critter I am thinking of you both today and looking forward to good news updates later.

Christmas is such an enormously difficult time for long term ttcers. You jut have to do whatever gets you through. We started ttc in December 2010, but I had been yearning for a baby for a long time before that, and I don't think I have really enjoyed it in years. Last year I was just pregnant (BFP a few days before) and terrified of things going wrong again. Thankfully we don't have big family christmasses (just me, mr euro, my parents and occasionally MIL, who all knew our situation and behaved in a sensitive way).

Oh gosh Bunny I don't think anyone was referring to anything you had said!! I didn't notice anything upsetting in your posts at all. To be honest, Christmas is a bit rubbish most of the time, TTC or not! Bloody families.

And yes totally agree with you and Lemon - whilst it is good to have a sense of perspective, a la "this too shall pass", there is no way even a 10plusser will or indeed should skip through parenthood in a euphoric haze. It's HARD and everyone (on this thread especially) is allowed to say it's tough. Though I can speak only for myself, I think we're all saying the same thing: those on the other side feel insanely lucky, but that doesn't mean sleepless nights and vomit everywhere and toddler tantrums and poonamis have to be shrugged off as quaint little anecdotes saved up for later .

I love your idea about getting MrN to behave. However I went through to the room he is working in a few minutes ago to try to pass some time, and he turned round and said "go away I need to concentrate on this" . He smiled as he said it in an attempt to show he was being light-hearted. But if murdered him, could I blame it on hormones .

Hello ladies, have read through and want to say more but in cab on way to work. I saw a little fluttering heartbeat. So happy. Thank you all for clutching my sweaty and terrified paw.

Massive squeeze to nelly.

Critter .

I'm shaking waiting for my phone to ring but this has made me grin insanely and stopped me thinking about me for a nanosecond.

Oh critter- come back and tell us more....that's amazing news!!

Nelly - hand hold...they should have called you by now!

Hiding in toilet in the house as MrM is downstairs parenting so I can catch up with you all. I am so so so pleased critter xxxxx and Nelly tell that clinic to hurry up!!

Critter! I'm so pleased. This is your time, I feel it (and not just cos witchy woman said so!).

I know Joy don't they know a dozen women are waiting here, but bizarrely I feel a bit calmer now, I'd put 2.30 into my stress-ometer and have exhausted myself worrying up to then. I will call if I haven't heard by 3.30 I think. In any case she probably said "about 2.30".

Also sending a loo update to say YAY Critter

Really quick naughty update via phone at my desk (so naughty) critter - you've made me cry (with joy) in front of the work laptop

Nelly, c'mon!!!

bunny, I think your Christmas message was fine and in fact it's nice to be able to vent our emotions and say how we feel without getting comments such as ' you don't know how hard it is' without wanting to poke them in the eye with a sharp stick!!

big Friday grins

And ray when it comes to enjoying lie ins and freedom I have always said that I would have enjoyed them all if someone could have said "you will have a family in x years". It's the fear that stops you enjoying it now and people don't understand that...

Whoops for office tears Fluffy! If anyone notices, say someone must have farted so badly it brought tears to your eyes [grins].

Still no word.....

at toes's loo update.

nelly I am on tenterhooks too. I hope you get a lovely high HCG number.

MrC couldn't come because of a work trip... I wish he had been able to see it too. I know it's still a long road and I won't be out of the woods for a long time, but it was just so lovely to see it flickering away. The doctor said I should come back for another scan at the clinic after my travels (going home to see my parents for a week on Monday) on Tuesday the week after next. I didn't have to have a blood test, which is actually a relief, as I don't want to know if the hcg is low.

Sorry for lack of namechecks.

critter that is great news :) I wouldn't worry too much about your HCG as yours were within range, enjoy you time at home

nelly its is 3.15

hcg is 600 and progesterone is 35.3

Is that good?????

nelly how many dpo are you? It sounds pretty damn good to me!

35 progesterone is excellent!

17DPO Critter. I'm on 800 a day of progesterone so no wonder it's so high .

Nelly - woohoo that is excellent. Are you 17dpo ? Did you say you weren't keen on twins??!.

Critter - that is just lovely and so pleased you saw a heartbeat.

What a happy day on here