Step AWAY from the pissy sticks and get back in the bedroom, don your cape (but don't break his banjo string!) and get yourself a bun in the oven like Paul Hollywood! It's Just Shagging 31!

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!  PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.  Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 30 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2210024-The-Truth-about-Um-Bongo-Broken-Penises-and-Sad-Fleas-its-all-here-just-dont-talk-about-the-Elephant-in-the-Womb-Pee-on-Nigel-Farage-or-in-a-Thermos-and-Join-the-Bonkers-Bonkers-for-JS-30" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?msgid=50290589#50290589" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I'd bloody love a curry now.

gaggia "climaxed a few times" just throw that little stunner in there well jell takes me ages and banging alone just won't cut it Although my man is also a machine, can last forever and just goes when he's told. High five, bitches!

indigo what can I say, that man knows how to push my buttons. Also I think I'm "easy" it doesn't take much to get me off. I'm sure I could come on a bus if I put my mind to it

Ewwwwwww I didn't mean that in a fiddling with myself way I meant the vibrations.

hahahahahahaha lmfao gaggia you filthy minx

well jell of all ur sex lives. I struggle and just can't get the big O from penetration alone

Not many people can lil I never did in my whole adult life til I met dp. When it first happened I thought I had pissed myself maybe that's what it actually is......

I can't either Lil, that's what the buzzy friend is for!

Dulcet will you be making the new fred? Can't believe how fast this one has gone!

I can't either lil!

I think I have about once or twice in my life Lil and it wasn't the same anyway. Don't worry, you're not alone.

Totally off subject here but I'm watching dog the bounty hunter. wow. Just wow. The hair, the boobs, the clothes.

Congrats to everyone that lost something this week. I'm totally going to join in with the dieting. When I did it before I used to have fast days on Mondays and then Thursdays most weeks though it used to change depending on whatever was going on in my life that week... Anyone up for a fast day Monday? I feel I'm going to need all the encouragement I can get to get back out of this snacking cycle!

I'm also really wanting an Indian take away now...

If I'm on my back with him on top and I want DH to finish, just got to wrap my legs and arms around him. He won't last long. .

love that we all know how to manipulate our men.

glad I'm not alone. honey this is why I want a wevibe! must work on that. tho tbh I guess when I get my bfp in Feb (PMA!) I won't be bothered about sex eh popz

Hehe lil

I'm wishing I knew how to manipulate him into not wanting to go out to the ice hockey tonight... Not quite the same . I just want to stay home. If we don't go though he'll be in a grump.

ainat let him go and you stay home. win win! I'd give anything for the odd night home alone without dh, we really do live in each others pockets! if we aren't together it's because i'm out, he doesn't go out of his own accord, he's a recluse! lol

lil if only that would work. The catch is I drive, he doesn't. And the game he wants to go to tonight is hard to get to for us without driving. I do enjoy the hockey, but tonight I'm just not feeling it... To be honest I really should go as he asked me about going to this game weeks ago...

What is it with DH and not wanting to go out? I think mine is the same as yours. He doesn't go out so much of his own accord either. I love my rare evenings having the house to myself. Mind, if he was out all the time I don't think I'd be too happy about that either...

Haha, glad I'm not the only one who picked up on the multiple climaxing! You jammy beggar ga.

You might surprise yourself lil ... hormones are a crazy thing, and preggo sex dreams are like no other ha!

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't want him out all the time, just every now and then! He's not very sociable, although better than he used to be, and his few friends have moved away from the area. If we go out it's to our families, to dinner together or to see my friends. He doesn't like crowded places and has a big fear of attention being drawn to him, e.g. if we went to see a comedian and were sat near front of stage he'd be dead worried about being called up onto stage and wouldn't enjoy the show because of the worry if that makes sense.

He's a complex creature is my dh!

Well if you can't get out of it you need to think positive thoughts, maybe think of something you can look forward to when you get back?

I have to enlist help if my buzzy pals - then I have no problem. My dh thinks he's getting a medal if he holds back, meanwhile I'm there going 'just get on with it for fucks sake!'

Wow, this is going fast!

My DH is also of mind frame the longer the better, however his weak spot is a digit near his butt hole

Also had Indian last night tikka bhuna & a filthy gorgeous peshwari naan. It was delicious.

Still feel like I'm in limbo, bleeding/AF is lighter than normal (2 fanjo plugs vs 4 or 5 for normal yesterday) and not a lot over night. No plug needed today when I should still be reasonably heavy. POAS pretty much same as Thursday- was expecting much lighter or BFN. Also still feel the same- headachey and bit hungover. Is my body just being a cunt?!?

lil Our DH's really do sound similar. He's from Manchester, but we currently live a little outside of London, so most his friends are all up in Manchester still. He does occasionally go out with people from his work. He's not a fan of crowded places or attention either. Though I'm not quite sure where the line is. He doesn't mind the pub (depending on who he is with), and doesn't mind sports events, comedy shows, theatre, etc where you have a seat (and therefore that little bit of space that comes with it). Standing up gigs though where people are more squashed together are a big no no as far as he is concerned.

I think I am going to go... (which means I need to go and get ready!). Maybe I'll feel it a bit more when we're actually there...

I'm another one who needs buzzy friends or at least fingers to reach the big O. I have come from penetration alone, but it doesn't happen all that often. I want a new buzzy friend actually. Any recommendations?

Noniks so it still shows a BFP?

Apparently the WeVibe ainat, I really want one! think a few girls on here have them! There was a discussion a while back

noniks I don't want to put too many ideas in your head just in case it's not, but it may very well be breakthrough bleed. Mine last time was heavy enough for tampon and lasted two days. My mate had hers for 5 days.

I've never had chem pregnancy so have no idea if line normally as strong as that. With my mc it only happened when line faded.

Can you go to gp?

I think you'd need to leave poasing at least a week to get a definitely answer either way noniks xx

Or serial blood tests, if you can get gp to agree.