Step AWAY from the pissy sticks and get back in the bedroom, don your cape (but don't break his banjo string!) and get yourself a bun in the oven like Paul Hollywood! It's Just Shagging 31!

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!  PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.  Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 30 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2210024-The-Truth-about-Um-Bongo-Broken-Penises-and-Sad-Fleas-its-all-here-just-dont-talk-about-the-Elephant-in-the-Womb-Pee-on-Nigel-Farage-or-in-a-Thermos-and-Join-the-Bonkers-Bonkers-for-JS-30" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?msgid=50290589#50290589" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Thanks lil I like nails :) I'm having fun with mine now horse is on loan

Shag, viroids shag, too much talking on here not enough shagging.

I stick bum in air so much so it's almost a fecking shoulder stand!

dulcet that is a beautiful collection! exactly what ICS were made for!

la can you tell I was bored today and didn't want to do work! lol at the headstand been there!

noniks thinking of you

That is an excellent collection Dulcet - puts mine to shame

Glad the spotting has gone La Today we are pregnant

Its bloody freezing all of a sudden!

I especially like how they are organised in ascendingly dark order! AND the seagull Will you stop at the digi ?

Dulcet I love the seagull!

Thanks for the advice la. I'll grab some vit b complex (is that right) tomorrow! I know I'm being greedy, I should just be thankful AF has come back :)

I'm not sure dulcet I think you need to do a few more just to make "sure"! lol! go with Nigel's thinking!

so glad your spotting has gone la still keeping gx'd for everyone's beans xxx

He's a filthy bastard, he watches me wee. There are lines on all on them BTW but you can't see them all probably. He doesn't judge though, just watches... It's impressive, isn't it?!

Still pretty concerned it's over already though, obviously...

Right, do we have any weekend testers??

Wow. Just had a catch up on the Fred and it seems like many congratulations are needed!!! Congrats to la, noniks, and mountain! I've got my gx for you all. Stick little beans, stick!

Dulcet that is a great photo. I fucking love it! Exactly what IC's are made for!

I love paper panda too! I'm not so great at paper cutting. I'm okay at drawing. I love to draw (and colour). I'm not so great at controlling a craft knife. I can't seem to make nice smooth lines with it. :(

Oh, and yay for no spotting la. Feeling calm? What did DH say?

popz - not sure I can stop! Digis are over with the 3+ but probably still got some ICs to do. Maybe next week. I have dozens!!

I want to test. I'm on CD2. I'm thinking it's a bit early but pma viroids, pma

Yes la, yay yay for no spotting! (Does a thumbs up)

Wonder how noniks is?

Ha! Excellent collection Dulcet! And a very sexy seagull.
I used to like lining up my OPKs like that to see if I could spot the surge... Not that they ever did me any good! My BFP was totally down to spotting some serious EWCM following lil's regime of lots of water

I need to start practising what I preach....my water is shocking these days. tho I actually have to thank zing as it was her water thread that got me into it.

dh just played me the Christmas John lewis advert. I cried at the end! must be pg right!

lil it destroyed me!! Just the end though, and boom! Ugly crying!

dulcet that's an impressive ic collection! I can't see line much on ic yet still faint so might follow suit!

The biologist boffin in me would like to correct everyone that Nigel is in fact a 'gull' not a 'seagull'. There is no such thing as seagulls and Nigel is a herring gull, meaning he would nest inland as well as the coast. David Attenborough eat your heart out!

Endeth the biology lesson...

I hope noniks is ok.

I feel sicky and it's very early to be awake - definite pregnancy downside is I wake up in the night to wee, I remember this well! But I'm still in disbelief.

jelly go into holland and Barrett if you've got one and have a chat. I took only b6 with first pregnancy and having done research I discovered taking only b6 can result in deficiency in b12 which is also vital.

B-complex slow release is good but prepare for having radioactive yellow wee. Nightmare when toilet won't flush and colleague has to go in after you, you feel like you have to explain it! Important - you must stop taking it if you get pregnant!

Can anyone explain this? Last two days I've had almighty tendon pain in wrist. Agony. Trying to type on keyboard at work was awful and I was starting to think I should go to doc. Just started when I got positive test.

Today there's no trace of it! Is it some weird pregnancy thing?

ligaments stretching is supposed to be a sign?

la I have been reading your symptoms avidly and no longer feel completely shit as scared. How horrible is it that the stretchy womb feeling is very akin to the impending AF feeling? Still spotting too, but I'm not whom I kidding going to worry unless it turns brown. I am also feeling really shakey

dulcet that is an impressive collection, which I am planning to match :) Already used another frer this morning already obsessing over the fact the line hasn't got darker TODAY I am pregnant!

Right. I am off away up North. I am taking ONE pissy stick. I may not have signal. How am I going to survive without you lot?

mountain stretchy womb is normal as is slight cramping. My mum puts it nicely - she's says it's the little one settling in to the womb for the duration. Try to enjoy yourself, pissy sticks will still be there when you get back x

Oh and drink lots of water! Hydration very important!

dulcet I had to have early scans, one at 5 weeks which was an internal, and one at 7 weeks which was a normal tummy one. I think it alters slightly for everyone though depending on what they could see. The 7 week one was better as they saw heartbeat, on the 5 week one it was too early and they just saw sac and yolk.

He's not a seagull?! There's no such thing?! You've blown my world la! Ive always lived by the coast and always had these intruder seagulls to moan about. No wonder Nigel looks so pissed off all the time!

One stick mountain, probably for the best. How will you decide when to use it?!

JL advert did not do it for me. In fact I found it weird he got bought a girlfriend - let him sort his own love life out! I'm made of stone aren't i?!

X post zyla. Thanks, might aim for 8 weeks if we get that far. Just don't fancy the internal. Especially not since MIL asked if that's what caused MC ...

I remember zing water thing. Didn't join it but should have as am shocking at getting enough!