40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Thanks Dr Diva, have put them with my face wash now so hopefully that will work.

I must've just missed it somehow Grizzer, shouldn't rely on it as a dtd indicator so much I guess!

This month a total washout anyway... sigh

Cloud, that all sounded v positive! It is v reassuring to feel he is fully assess ALL your circumstances and presentation. Fx for you.

Welcome SeeWot! Our history sounds similar, hope you have a better month than me!

Hello all. Been doing some very lame lurking this past day or so, but haven't assimilated much, though did notice drdiva saying hi, so waves back. (are you a n/c I've missed?). My Dad's been v ill so have been occupied with that and all it ensues, plus been working on major house renovations and admin for DS at his nursery, oh and have the annual nasty cold with accompanying knackeredness and razor blade sore throat. As for ttc, been making feeble efforts and had one so-bad fail you wouldn't believe. You couldn't have made it up. More some other time. Time to get DS up otherwise he'll be up till 10pm again.

Waves to all.

fireflies lovely to see you! I am the poster formerly known as Grinch, under a (hopefully) cheerier name. It sounds like you have had am awful lot of stress to deal with. Hope you are getting some you time as well.
cloud sometimes I think it just helps to have someone listen sincerely and take you seriously. And then do something practical to help. Sounds like a good consultant to have on side.

Sorry to hear about your dad fireflies, hope you feel better soon.

Cloud, that all sounds really positive. I have everything crossed for you this weekend!

Hi wilting, 5dpo for me, how about you?

Big waves to all.

Welcome Seewot & hopeful. Sorry about mcs. Christmas Eve Hopeful? It's always awful but that must have been hard (hope I read that right, can't scroll back & check!)
Very positive news Cloud. Surely anything out of the ordinary like a large fibroid should be investigated if you are having recurrent mcs. Glad you've got a supportive doc.
I'm trying not to count the days too much (7 or 8 dpo ) but I'm already convincing myself I've got 'tingles' in my abdomen & looking for other symptoms. I just can't help it!
Sorry to hear about your dad FF but looking forward to the gory details of the dtd disaster (I'm working on the theory that's it's a funny story rather than an awful one - apologies for insensitivity if not xx)

Hi everyone! Thanks all for your support on Friday eve when dh was not well. As it happened, when I went up to bed, quite a while after him, as I assumed it wasn't going to happen, he was fully raring to go!! Bless him, I told him that he didn't have to do it as he really wasn't feeling well, but he said he could manage it, so we dtd on Friday, and again last night!! I had a positive opk yesterday, so we're good for timing, even though we haven't really managed the SMEP schedule. Will try and get another one in tomorrow!!

I've also seen my acupuncturist today, who is so lovely. She was saying that 18 months is not that long in the grand scheme of things, and that actually when you ruled out months when you weren't able to do it at the right time, or someone wasn't feeling well, plus probably a couple of months of non-ovulation etc, it's really much less than 18 months of trying!! She said she couldn't see any reason why I wouldn't get pg naturally. I felt quite positive after seeing her.

Still doing temps and they've not gone up yet, so got to keep going for a few more days!! Hi and good luck to everyone in the fertile zone and/or the 2ww.

cloud glad to hear that there's a positive doctor out there! :)

Hmm, I don't really know seewot, after the opk debacle I threw all my toys out of the pram and we only dtd cd12 and cd20 . Cycle's been a bit of a movable feast lately too so might be dpo5 (like you!) or dpo7 assuming I ov'd at all

Me and DH dtd cd 9, cd 11 and cd 13. I ovulated on cd 15. I know I should of done it cd 15 and cd 17 as well but I'd had a hard day at work and was knackered and just couldn't muster the energy on those two days. Also although DH has agreed to ttc I know he isn't as enthusiastic as me and I don't like to pester him too much. Ttc sex can just be so effing crap and soul destroying! 3 times in a week is pretty good going for us though. I've set myself a challenge to try and do it every 3 days up to AF and then every two days up to ov.

Reading everybody's dtd schedule makes me think we might be stopping too early, we are often so exhausted come ovulation we stop.. I also wonder how much after the static smiley on the dual hormone opk ovulation occurs, I always took the smiley as max 24h from now. I have been temping, so we'll see. Joey - do you actually write down when to dtd with SMEP? I often find I lose track three days in... ICallHim the idea of a fridge full of wee made me chuckle. I think that's quite a heroic effort.

Reni, do you use the fertility friend website/app? It's great for keeping track of temps, dtd etc

reni - I haven't actually managed to really stick to SMEP, so it's all a bit random. However, I do have an app on my phone where I log when we have dtd, so I can kind of see the pattern. Like you, I do wonder whether we stop too soon sometimes. I kind of get to ovulation, and then think, great, we can stop now, but I suppose you never know if you've got it completely spot on. It's just too tiring to keep it up for 2 weeks though!!

For those of you asking about temping, I can give you an example of my typical temps. Usually pre-ov they are around 36.15. Post ov they are around 36.50, so it's quite a noticeable jump. This morning mine was 36.44 which I think is my post ov jump, but you really need to have 3 consecutive days of a higher temp before you confirm ovulation. I'm pretty sure that's it for me though this month, as I had a smiley opk face a couple of days ago, so that timing would fit. We've managed to dtd 3 times in that window. Might see if we can get one more in tonight, then call it quits - phew!!!

Seewhat - I know exactly what you mean about pestering dh. Sometimes it's so frustrating - neither of us will feel like doing it, but I feel like I have to really convince him - it's just not fun!!

Hi grizzer yes Xmas eve, we are gutted but trying think positive, 2nd peak today on cbfm and Dtd x 2 last night and will again today.
Temping to but bit hit and miss as I don't sleep too well so always awake when alarm goes off. Not noticed ewcm but def is watery, never noticed ewcm tbh, sorry tmi.

Hi girls please may I join? I'm 43 and TTC #3 with DP. Teenage DCs with ex. Got pg in January after only 2 cycles of TTC but had a chemical at the weekend.

Cloud I've got a large fibroid too - same size as yours but mine is on the outside of my uterus so I've Ben told that it won't impact getting pg although it will grow once pg! So sorry to hear about your mcs. I'm feeling pretty deflated about my chemical even though it was very early. I suppose this is just how it is in your forties and we need a decent egg to go all the way! Hope all goes well with your MRI.

Welcome mustbe. Sorry to hear about chemical but a pg after only 2 months is really good & hopefully means it will happen again quickly.
I felt really 'periody' earlier. AF not due til 12th though so must be other things going on......

Seewot- yes I have started using FF, just putting in temp, maybe I should record dtd as well. I am only cd6 today, first month temping. I am around 36.0-36.1, will see what the jump is. I thought I am a bit colder than I should be, but appears you are equally cool, joey. I can' do cm, I am unable to tell the difference between yesterday's semen and today's cm, sorry if tmi.

Do you find the opk or monitors tally with the temps? I ovulate early (sometimes cd9 or 10) and opk has the flashing smile already. Hi mustbe!

Ah, grinch! Glad you're still around.

grizzer, mate, I will post the full tale when I am equipped with a keyboard again. This one finger typing is a real PITA.

Thanks all for kind words really appreciate it.

I got fed up taking all the supps and last months AF was much lighter. Perhaps was pverdoing them? Also, Angus Castus appears to have moved ov day on by a day or so and extended cycle. I think this is good?

Damn. DS awake. Better go. Back soon I hope. Ff xx

It’s been a busy time here. Had a very strong second line on an OPK on Sunday. Had planned to do my best to follow SMEP this month so that meant DTD for the next 3 nights – challenging but even more so because we’d DTD the night before (day 10 of my cycle). So we’ve now managed day 10, 11, and 12. Tonight we should technically aim for once more according to SMEP so I’m just deciding whether I can gather up the energy for that before a night off! I do take the point about this getting weary month after month. I don’t know whether I could keep this up over time, but I did promise myself I would if possible give it a shot this month. DH has been able to meet his part of the bargain so we’ll see. I did another OPK last night and got a double line again, but it’s back to a single line tonight. So does that seem like ovulation’s likely to have happened now? The advice says 24-36 hours from when you first see the double line, I know.

Cloudjumper and joey, thanks for the temp info. I keep my thermometer under the tongue OK. My problem with temping is that I often get up to go to the bathroom in the early hours, meaning I don’t get enough of a block of sleep before I wake in the morning, and/or to go to DS if he wakes – he is good at sleeping through but does often wake early and I hear him, jump out of bed then remember, too late, about taking my temp. So I’ve been trying with my new thermometer as many days as I can, but have had some temps of 36.odd and a couple lower – one was 35.34! Googling ‘normal temperature’ suggests I have hypothermia but some other info says ‘normal’ has been considered as low as 33.2 so that makes me feel a little better. But I don’t think I am a foolproof temper by any means. I’m going to see if I can spot a rise in the next few days.

Hi seewothappens, mustbe and everyone else old and new.

fireflies the song that (I assume) inspires your name is a big fave here. DS loves to sing along to it.

fridge The exact same thing happened to me this cycle - started SMEP with dtd on CD10, then got a really strong OPK on CD 11, which then meant we 'had' to dtd on CD11-13, 4 times in a row! I was exhausted and sore, but at least it meant that we literally threw everything at it that we had... I'd give it another go tonight, just so that you can sit back and relax in the knowledge that you have really maximised your chance. At least that 's what I am telling myself! (I did, though, pass on the final dtd you're meant to do 2 days after the 3x in a row, I just couldn't face it).

Welcome mustbe Sorry to hear about your chemical, hope you can recover quickly. These things can throw you, every BFP sets off such a rollercoaster of emotions.
Fibroids are apparently very common, a lot of women have one or more without ever finding out. Mine has never grown, not even when I pg with DS, but I agree - I'd rather have as much information about this as possible!

11DPO today, and I am symptom-spotting like mad... Thought I was starting to spot last night, but it didn't develop into anything. I am having a bit of cramping, which could of course mean that either AF is on the way or that I am pg, argh! Still resolved to not test until at least Saturday, I can't face the uncertainty of testing too early. Will try to keep really busy until the weekend (which is not a problem, lots to do at work and currently alone with DS while DH throws himself down some ski slopes in France).

Thanks for the welcome girls

SMEP is bloody exhausting but did seem to help get me preggo last month.

What supps are you girls taking? Anyone on DHEA? I'm just on Boots His n Hers Conception Support with DP but wonder if I should be taking anything else when this ancient?!

Mustbe- I just take pregnacare or own brand conception (if I remember), the formula seems identical for most. Some red wine in the first half of the month, purely for the phyto-estrogens it contains of course

Well done to all you ladies managing to dtd so often!! You have my full respect as i know how bloody tiring it can be. If AF comes I have promised myself to put in more effort next cycle!
Fridge, I don't think getting up to go to the loo should affect your temp too much as long as you try not to switch any lights on and try not to move about too much (pretty hard with dc I know). Do try and get into a routine with it, it makes you feel much better when you've seen that temp rise and ov is confirmed.
Hang on in there for Saturday cloud, only tomorrow and Friday to go. I know what you mean about symptom spotting, it gets exhausting. I'm 7dpo, I'm going to try and hold out until next weds (or maybe Tuesday )
As for supps, I'm taking normal pregnacare and extra folic acid as i have a blood disorder. i stocked up on loads of pregnacare when i got bfp last october before mc. I suppose i should switch to the conception ones. I'll have a look in tesco when I'm next there.
Have a lovely afternoon everyone, waves to all.

I'm taking the folic acid/multivits, omegas, ubiquinol and DHEA. Used to take Royal Jelly as well, but stopped that when I started with the DHEA (purely for financial reasons, this is costing a fortune!)

I can't manage all the sex either...never mind DH!

In fact we missed our chance again this month from a combination of factors. Next month I WILL get OPKs and we will damn well do the deed!

I am 10-11,DPO Ov-d day 12-13. The first bfp of this year this morning. here we go again.... To be honest, I am not even happy. I know I must take this first step, but for me it is the real 2-3 ww now, to see where it goes. And we know where it normally goes. Did I do anything different? I took soy isoflavones to have a stronger egg, I also do B6 and folic acid of course, and this month have been taking additional progesteron since cycle day 16, which I have done before and still miscarried. I am now also on prednisolone and thinking of adding lovenox into the mix, but not sure about it. I have no clotting disorder proved (no immune issues neither), so I may actually cause harm by lovenox.....I have my cupboard full of all kinds of medecine which has never helped, so I am doubtful about using it. Particularily as the june try lasted until end August without any additional support. We will see.