Ugh madem I am so sorry about the therapist. I would see a different one, personally - had you not seen her for a while? If she's any good, she will understand that she isn't the right person for you to see right now. I have found my feelings of jealousy towards some pregnant women and women with babies really hard to deal with. I think it's just that it is such a natural thing for most people, it makes it all the more stark how messed up our experiences are.
cake that is incredibly precious and also heartbreaking that your little girl met her baby brother. It must be unbelievably hard to explain what happened to W to her, when it's hard to even explain it to yourself - I mean, nobody can explain why terrible tragedies happen. I do think that it will mean a huge amount to her that she met him, when she is older. My mum had a stillborn son at 36 weeks before she had me and my sister, and growing up, she talked to us about him, and we always knew we were her second and third children, not her first and second (although no less loved of course!). My parents still visit his grave every year and my DH and I actually chose to name our son after him (before we knew he would die too). It may sound odd but it's really precious to me that he was always remembered with so much love and as a much-missed part of the family.
anna - welcome to our thread, I am so sorry that you're here, but glad that you found us. I'm so sorry you lost your precious little boy. It must be very hard to look after your little girl while you grieve. Three months out is no time at all, so just take it day by day. I lost my son James in January at 39 + 3 under similar circumstances - after a textbook pregnancy, some blood vessels in his cord ruptured (and I may have had a placental abruption too, they don't know) and he was born by emergency c section but only lived 20 hours on a ventilator in the NICU due to massive brain damage from oxygen deprivation. On TTC again - I couldn't see whether you had a c section or a normal birth, but if you had a normal birth I think it's ok to try after one period, as ducky says, and if you had a c section the conservative advice is usually 6 months - although I know women who have tried after 3 and had normal pregnancies. If you want to VBAC then the risk of uterine rupture (which is very small anyway, but obviously that means little when you've been on the wrong side of the statistics) goes down after 9 months (i.e. 18 months between births).
On the vitamins and minerals thing -my obstetrician told me to take prenatals constantly to replenish them. I think sadly it is more of an issue for women who are breastfeeding which isn't a problem for us 
.
One other thing (and I don't say this to be the voice of doom) - one of the horrible things about TTC after a loss is that you don't get a free pass for it to be all ok, so you have to be prepared for that. I had a mc in the summer, and it was the lowest that I felt since the awful agonising days after getting back from the hospital without my son. I'm now nearly 8 weeks pregnant again but it's been absolutely terrifying, and you have to be emotionally prepared for a difficult ride - I was super laid back during my first pregnancy, despite having gone through two years of infertility and IVF, but I'm very anxious now (although incredibly grateful to be pregnant 10 months after my loss).
intheory welcome and I'm so sorry you lost your little boy T.
giantmama welcome, and what an absolutely devastating story, that must have been unbelievably traumatic. It absolutely broke my heart to hear about your littlest twin trying to breathe, and his poor brother. What little fighters, what courageous little hearts. I wish this hadn't happened to you and your family. I think you're spot on about grief being a form of madness. I get overtaken sometimes by such powerful rage and misery that it terrifies me. They feel physical, like physical sensations. And it is incredibly hard to carry on with normal life and remember things and stay on top of all the usual relentless admin that it involves.
ducky I can imagine that this last final stretch must be absolutely nail biting. Hang in there. I know your little girl's upcoming birthday will be a painful milestone - I am dreading J's first birthday next month, although unbelievably grateful that at least I will (hopefully, all being well, touch wood) be pregnant with his little brother or sister. We will be thinking of you and holding your hand.
kayleigh I've been thinking about you a lot with the run up to the holidays and hoping that you are ok. I know it's bound to be incredibly hard with your other two little ones excited about Christmas, and of course it's overwhelming to think about how this Christmas should have been for your family. How are you doing? You're clearly such a warm and caring person, and I worry that you don't put yourself first. I really hope you're as ok as can humanly be possible right now.
ellieandanna I had a really similar experience to you - if I'd got to the hospital a little earlier, the outcome would still probably be a very severely brain damaged child. Like you, I wouldn't want that life for my child if he was completely incapacitated and couldn't even breathe on his own. I got a very strong sense of what he would have been like from his face - he had a determined little expression and I thought he'd be like his dad who is very sporty, a bit of a jock. But it is SO hard, all the what ifs. On counselling - you may decide to go later, you don't have to take that decision now. If your DH finds - or you find - that down the road, you would like to see someone, you can always do that. In the immediate aftermath of J's death I didn't want to see anyone (and in the US it can be expensive as many psychiatrists don't accept health insurance) but later I might have gone to see someone, had it been easier to organise and pay for. To be honest, the most helpful thing I have found has been talking to other people who have been through the same thing. I've chatted on here, and also there's a closed Facebook group for women who've lost a baby to HIE or oxygen deprivation (which you might like to join - you just need to send a message asking to join and then post a little story about your baby, and if you want, share a photo) - it's called the HIE Loss Support Group. And in the UK, there's SANDS. Anyway I am so sorry you're here in the first place, it is just awful, awful, and so incredibly unfair.
lake the story about your DH kissing the photo of your bump every night before he goes to sleep brought tears to my eyes. It is so wrong that you both just have her footprints but not your precious little daughter. I'm so sorry. How are you doing with work?
salsmum thanks for sharing that poem.
blue how are things with your little one? It must be surreal - painful and wonderful at the same time.
earth thinking of you and hope everything has settled down with your family stress. Lots and lots of love to you, kind lady.
betty I hope you're ok, thinking of you.
tulip hope all is continuing uneventfully with your pregnancy. Big hug.
AFM all is ok. I had another scan yesterday at 7 + 5 which showed a heartbeat and that the baby has grown. No more heavy bleeding, thank God. I spoke to my lovely OB who delivered James last night, he gave me a call after I emailed him to let him know I was pregnant and set up my first appointment, and he advised me to cancel some work trips I have coming up, which I will try to do. Have been very tired and sick but just so grateful and thankful to be here after the painful road of the past 10 months, and the three years before that. Love to everyone.