Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

yay Cookie :) congrats

Afternoon shaggers, afraid I am now out this month as the witch arrived with a fanfare this morning . So as per advice from La 'Bugger off witch!!' & Jelly sorry you've lost your POAS bud for Saturday - everything is crossed for you.

To try & look on the plus side this means my cycles are now bang on 28 days (I have not missed the witch in the 13 lovely years she was banished) & my luteal seems an ok 12 days.

Therefore I am going to take the advice of Rpoz in joining Jelly & get me some preseed incase my foof is non swimmer friendly.

Then from next week I am going to pound DH like yesterdays beef whilst wearing a spangly cape

Mountain & Before - good luck with your JSing!

And I forgot - hurray to the TWPU!!

Ah no that sucks Noniks! I'll be POAS'ing alone this weekend it seems!

Enjoy your weekend, and indulge in some wine therapy!

noniks a very fine speech there! Bring on the JSIng (after twpu) and tell that witch to jog on!

cheers La, I wanted to use some stronger language in relation to the witch but thought I might get in trouble....

Also I've just noticed there's a tardis on the smiley list - what the chuff?!

cookie that's fantastic news. congratulations. hope you are both doing well.

telling the witch to f off, wasn't that zyla?

noniks that made me LOL sorry about the witch.

she's well and truly fucking with me again. not due until Saturday but (tmi) fresh red when wiping this morning. didn't have to hunt for it, it was there. I'm not holding out any hope as we were crap this month. neither of us could be bothered to shag on o day so we didn't! but if I was symptom spotting I'd add how utterly shattered I am this week! ov type pains at 7dpo, feeling v low/depressed the last few days, boobs not deflated yet but not sore, not sleeping well, waking up with terrible lower back pain. and all this means is I'm getting old!

That's shit lil, massive hugs and vino.

Fantastic news cookie, so pleased for you.

Ah no noniks that sucks. Btch btch b*tch that witch!!! Joining you in telling her to eff off to the other side of eff.

lil FX she stays away for you and jelly we're all now hanging our hat voyeuristically on your POASing this weekend!!

Hey all, sorry for radar silence - have been in the 'mostly drunk and/or crying' phase of my cycle, and dealing with some house selling/buying crap too (which is nice)...have actually started seeing a therapist in an attempt to get mental state onto a more even keel. At 40, I just keep thinking we've left it too late, even if I do get pg it's bound to end in tears, and then the big scary thought of it never happening slaps me round the face.

So - sympathies with all you similarly emotional hags, and thanks for sharing your feeling so mine don't seem as nutty. It really does help to know that I'm not alone and to be able to be totally honest, so thank you.

I have an ovulation question...I've never really 'noticed' when it happens and haven't used OPKs before, but this morning I had a distinct feeling of discomfort/pain, then a small amount of spotting...I've never had that before, but then I suspect I had a chemical MC last month so this could be an 'odd' one...I was kind of thinking it's likely to happen more like Sunday/Monday based on my cycles, so it would be early. So, does anyone think they 'feel' ovulation? And/or get spotting? And are OPKs worth a go? I'm so unsure of what's happening, and I don't want to risk missing it. Best get shagging!?

Bother I think a lot of women can feel when they ovulate. I personally don't know if I am, but a lot of people feel cramps, bloatedness, pain in their ovaries, and obviously get EWCM which is quite noticeable. I had all these symptoms two weeks ago when I DTD, I didn't use an OPK but kind of assumed they were Ovulation pains because I get them about the same time each month! Fx you are :)

And hugs to you Lil, fx it's IB? I've had similar symptoms, sore huge boobs, cramping, constipation (TMI), and yesterday terrible back pain on the train. So maybe my AF will return to me soon too if these are your AF symptoms? I've forgotten what my AF symptoms were when I got periods, but I do think I got bloating and back pain!

Hi BothersomeB I'm new here so haven't been around during a drunk/crying phase, but am sending you some to help with the side effects. I have a DD, made when I was 37, but now at 40 am also very afraid that I've left our run for DC2 too late and that prospect leaves me desperately sad.

TBH we used OPKs - I think Boots brand, but may have been Clearblue - to "get" DD, with major success given that I fell pg second cycle. I've only used ICs so far this time, up until last month when I bought the Clearblue Dual Hormone Indicator, but I'm still not pg so can't vouch for its usefulness just yet! I can't say I "feel" ovulation but I definitely feel horny as hell around that time, which is handy when DH is around for us to take advantage of it! HTH.

I'm in this month. I caved. :)

BUT if this month is a 'no', we're going to take a proper break until January. I found out I was pregnant with DS in September, it was the nostalgia that got me.

Bother I get ovulation pain most months, but either didn't used to (pre-DS) or just didn't notice. It feels slightly crampy on one side and lasts a day or two. Sometimes I can feel a bit sick with it. I don't think feeling it gives any advantage over not feeling it for TTC - I'm still here, after all!

Lil I know it's probably AF but I really hope it's implantation for you.

thanks guys. I have no doubt its AF as she's done this a couple of times before to trick me. I guess it doesn't hurt to hope. its not like its impossible for us to conceive naturally.

re ov pain. I get it most months but not always and the level of pain varies. the other month I could barely walk for a few hours, some months its just a dull ache. I know its contraband but I would recommend opks. I only used ICS for over a year. I recently invested in cbfm and didn't gain anything over what the ICS were already telling me. I'm.planning to go back to just opks. I find I get peak on cbfm on o day when its too late but opks I get + 1or 2 days before. and I also temp and would recommend that if you can, but I only temp from post AF until it confirms ov as It can get a bit all consuming

on and before I knew you'd cave!

Fantastic news cookie you must be so relieved!

lil I had ov pains at 7dpo and 10dpo and blood I assumed was af as it was enough and red. Back pain was my first odd symptom it was really sore. You're not out til the witch zooms in in her red convertible and parks. Fx

bother i think quite a few of us on here have reported being able to feel icing. Stabby pain in one side, sore boobs, headache sometimes plus ewcm. using cbfm ultimate contraband helped me pinpoint it exactly no shame on this Fred in illicit contraband use as long as you whistle and look innocent throughout
Oh and I second lils suggestion of temping. Helps build up picture of cycle if using app like fertility friend. I found it really useful x

Nice one before!

Fingers firmly crossed Lil x

Hi all, can I join? Been lurking for a while and think I am in need of the odd Hooya every now and again! Not used bc for nearly 6 yrs (ouch!) but not a sniff of a bfp due to pcos. However; this month I have my cape on, as you ladies say and am making DHs life as interesting as he can handle!! Have picked up loads of tips on contraband from you lovely ladies and am mid 1st cycle of jsing! Xx

Welcome tink good luck and happy shagging.

jelly yessssssss ive been obsessed with the trial. What's your verdict on the verdict?

Hi tink and welcome!

Yes - am following trial! Agree perhaps not premeditated but who the hell shoots at at bathroom without checking girlfriend still in bed first!? Surely culpable homicide?

Thanks gaggia, la
Quick q, do you ladies get a build up to icing? Or does it just happen? 1st cycle tracking cm and temps etc and things seem to be working up to icing gradually if you get me?

hi tink my opks show colour quite early and build up then I get a sudden really dark one one day before ov. temps bounce around a bit but generally sit around 32.2-32.5 then after icing go to about 32.7. hth

Thanks lil have same symptoms as bother today and boots opk has line (not dark)! Although opks have been in airing cupboard for about 2 yrs so not totally trusting them but seem to be building up to something! Never done this before but time to give it all a proper go!! Dh is in for a light tea tonight!! Mwah hah hah ;)