Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

*disclaimer I am part of the clearblue trial obviously the only reason I am using contraband ahem

Wow congrats :) best get shagging mountain :)

I have heard the pill kick starts stuff, think I might wait for this month to be over and go see my gp

lady if you can then lie about how long you've been trying, make it long as u can! a lot of areas won't refer until you've been trying 2 years. and even if they say too soon to refer they can still do sa and day"21" bloods. if they are not normal then that can override the referral timescales.

Jelly it took me almost a year to get back to normal cycles after coming off depo. Worth it for the five years of no periods though, endometriosis is a bitch.

GBBO always calms my rage - Mary is just lovely.

and to those in need. I'm merrily TWPU-ing my way through AF who thought she'd arrive with bells AND whistles. Bitch.

Bring it on indeed honey!

Melody that's an excellent offer...how weird would it be to get my dad to bring some over in time for next month??

Congratulations Gaggia

Great smiley mountain

Ov pain followed by EWCM. Great! This will really test my resolve - are we 'on a TTC break' or aren't we? Answers on a postcard.

Before to be fair, if you get upduffed you will no longer be trying...

Whats the harm?!

Morning viroids. Sorry about all the misery yesterday! I feel much better today! Had an argument with DP for no reason, felt really emotional and went to bed early!

Apologise if I pissed anyone off, I know I've not been trying long at all, and some of you have really been through the mill, so sorry!

Really need to just get the cape back on and get going!!

Chat were you icing whilst you were waiting for your AF to return?

No need to apologise jelly. we all have our own stories and are all affected differently. glad you are feeling better today.

honey you are so fun.

before honey makes a good point. perhaps just go with how the mood takes you but don't expect anything? who am I kidding

chat I think you would get a lot of questions! depends how worth it you think the deal is! maybe stick to ICS for now!

jelly please don't feel the need to apologise to anyone on here, sometimes TTC can be so heart breaking it doesn't matter how many cycles you've gone through. You u lot have definitely had the brunt of my strops!

before I'm not going to lie I wouldn't have the strength to ignore that icing. Get the cape on girl

chat might be straying too far into RL but if you ever want any sent over the. Send me a pm!

Lol my dh said to me this morning that he has started to associate Missy Elliot with sexy time as apparently I him it whenever I'm trying to get him to jump me :)

Thanks ladies, I just feel a bit stupid getting upset over this when we've only been "trying" for a couple of weeks.

Still, POAS deadline this weekend. Mountain, what Missy Elliott song? That's very random lol!

jelly sending you a hug, ttc can be so utterly soul destroying when you have your hopes up and it doesn't happen that month. Don't apologise, we all rant and despair and that's the beauty of this Fred - we support each other.

Ps: get your cape on, get your cape on, get your get your get your get your get your cape on...

Just catching up whilst waiting for a blood test for day 2/21 bloods. (Does that count as contraband?) GP was very prompt in offering 3 months ago but I've not been in the country for any two combinations of 2/21 days so this is my first chance to check if things are still fully functional. You guys are great btw! Lol

Fx Fresh :)

Thanks La, I was planning on some serious cape action last night but I was in such a bad mood I told DP to piss off (plus I had really painful belly ache)!

Tonight I think I will don the cape with gusto!

Where do you ladies buy your preseed / other conception lubes? I had a quick look in Boots but I don't think they sell it? Is Amazon the best bet?

rm evoking LOS is excellent idea! Are you sotm? Fx for your twot

Any of you despairing - I think it's important not to hide it when you feel like that. Let yourself feel sorry for yourself and have a good moan and a rant. I had all but given up and was miserable watching all my friends get pg. One person managed to conceive, have twins, then conceive again in the 14 months I was trying! Depressing. But finally managed it having figured out using illegal contraband doctor was no frigging help that I ice late and that I had luteal phase defect. Took b6 and eve primrose oil every day to lengthen cycle and got bfp the next month, having just had meltdown about never getting pg. We had just sent off questionnaire to fertility specialist and were due to see them next month.

It's really bloody hard when it's not happening. Please do come on here and rant, moan, chant, sing or do whatever helps.

lady I had short luteal. Are you taking b6? It made me ice earlier so lengthened cycle

lil Christmas bfp would be amazing!

before get your cape on gal!!!

jelly amazon or eBay

PS telling witch to do one works too! Can't remember who it was who told her to well and truly fuck off and she did!

Amazon or eBay for preseed.... amazing stuff!

jelly Telling DP to piss off is, to state the flamin' obviously, rather unlikely to result in a BFP but still bloody funny. LOL Get your cape on grrrrllll!!!

Ha ha! True fresh although sometimes bloody satisfying!

Oh I know, I regretted it afterwards but you know when you just don't want to give in to something! I'm too stubborn for my own good!

Thanks for the amazon tip, I'll go buy some ;)

Oh and they do it on prime! Woo!

Jelly sorry, I have no idea if I was or wasn't - I was 23 and pissed off that I wasn't allowed the depo anymore. Stuffing bone density effects. Long time ago and I wasn't as informed about such things. Mumsnet has a lot to answer for

Before, JS. That's what it's all about isn't it?

Thanks for the offer Mountain, but I reckon I can persuade my sister...the whole (immediate) family know we want another - I've bawled my eyes out over them all following both miscarriages this year. No way they're going to think anything else :)

Off to build a chest of drawers - can't stand suitcase living any longer!

I lived on chocolate all day yesterday! Had some for breakfast, had some lunch and half a huge whole nut for dessert. Ravished the other half for tea and had porridge with chocolate chips for dinner as I was to damn lazy to cook anything. Mr Jay was telling me off but I shouted at him that I was allowed it as the witch had hunted me down after a suspected BFP

Bit off topic, anyone watching the Oscar Pistorius trial verdict? It's what's getting me through today at work!

Hello, I just wanted to pop on here and let those who have been there through my ttc journey, that my little guy has had genetic tests which have confirmed that he does not have my genetic condition (triple x) :)