Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Thanks jelly. Oddly I feel better than I have the last couple of days (was demon b**ch with PMS/dread this month, poor DH), kinda like the slate is clean, let's go. Also with wedding anniversary and DH's birthday falling in my contraband-predicted fertile window, hopefully this will be our month! DH has also said he will come home from working way especially to dtd as required (funny that). ;)

honey hoping your 21 days fly by all the way to a shiny fab BFP!!!

thanks Jelly - keeping my legs crossed!

Funnily enough I also dreamt of a BFP last night...

It's a sign Noniks, we are both dreaming of BFP's :D

I've just booked a holiday for the exact time baby would be due if I get pregnant this cycle. DH says we can't put our lives on hold, I'm hoping to evoke los ;)
According to my app, I've just finished my fertile period. Managed to dtd every other day so far this cycles fx!

anyone ever get really pessimistic about the whole process. I don't know why but I've suddenly (like past 20 mins) had a massive mood swing and decided it's probably never going to happen for me :(

jelly I definitely get this too. Utter, sinking despair. AF usually turns up about 2-3 days later. :(

well I'd actually be glad for AF to show, she's not reared her ugly head for 5 friggin years!! But I've not other symptoms (except for the damn sore boobs) but just feeling really low about the whole thing!

welcome to my world jelli 'tis a dark miserable place. try and focus on something else. I know its hard but when you let your self think about it you only make yourself feel worse. and definitely don't look after other people's toddlers. that is my reason for feeling utterly shit today.

oh jelly I just checked your stats. 24 and just started and you already feel like this! good luck gal! I hope you get your bfp quick! have you seen Dr about lack of AF?

The doctors aren't interested because it's a common side affect of coming off of Depo injections. It's just frustrating because they don't tell you when you start the injection that your fertility will take up to 2 years to return, and when you're 19 and at Uni you aren't that bothered about researching it (or at least I wasn't).

I think it's just a mood swing. I'm not a moody person normally, I never used to get bad pms, so this is whole new territory for me. It hopefully means my hormones are getting back to normal (or even more hopefully I will get a BFP this weekend)but we will wait and see!

I also hate other peoples toddlers in general! I'm going to be a great mum!

Thanks Tee, that did make me giggle :) To be fair I don't seem to need to do much to get DH's willy up! He's like a teenage boy at times!

tee

jelly 5years is more than double 2 years! I'd be on at drs. do they know you've not been ttc before now? if they don't I'd keep stum and then if no bfp in 6months go and say you've been trying for 18months! you have to play the system because it is so shit. by the time we start ivf it will be 12months since we saw Dr to get referred!

No the Dr's won't do a thing because I have only been off the Depo for 8 months, until it's been a year they won't even humour me. They just said "it's all normal" and to be fair, looking on the interwebs it is very common for people to not have a period for a year after, it's just infuriating.

Hopefully this month I'll know for sure if I am icing though :) not using any sort of contraband at all

When do you start treatment Lil

Hello!
Yes still bfp with fmu. Them Tesco ones aren't very sensitive but indeed yes still newly upduffed.

jelly depo sounds like a bitch! Will you watch the bake off tonight to make you feel warm and fuzzy? Works for me anyway. I think its Mary berry that helps.

Oh congrats gaggia :)

Although mary berry makes you feel all warm and fuzzy? :P lol

Yeh depo is a massive bitch. I'd never recommend it.

Bake off is the viroids official 'fixer'

Yeah, Paul Hollywood does nothing for me. I just love the bake off fuzziness.

ah I forgot it was bake off tonight.

jelly I have no idea. when we saw consultant 17th July he said within 6months so I'm hoping for a Christmas bfp

Hey everyone, I iced earlier than normal this month could tell from snot not using opks so mayhaps this is our month? suffer from short cycle and short leuteal phase.

Seems like everyone is dropping babies! This month is now 14... deffo going to see GP is AF makes her appearance

Mc bleeding officially over... So excited to get back to shagging! Bring it on!

A few friends have GP involvement. It seems the key is to dig your heels in and know what you want.

Lady, la and I are the short leuteal queens! I was 9-10 but b6 has deffo helped I'm sure!

Hello to all the new lovely ladies on here and congrats on the bfp!! I'm just updating was due on today. No af and another negative test. Ok another 7 negative tests. But 5 were ic so they dont count. I'm most definitely out this month. Ill probably still keep testing tho..... I seriously need to get a grip.
In my defence clearblue x2 tests are on offer in asda for £4!!! And the digital is reduced to £5!! Can't miss a bargain like that....

Loving this thread!

Jelly...I haven't had a period in 10 years. Forced one with bcp which started this cycle of 146 days. Then today......

Disco pants are ON