Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Oh La I'm so sorry. That really is the most sucky thing ever.

Hopefully what with your B6 and evening primrose oil you'll be sorted again in no time.

la I am so so sorry. I will genuinely send you a real pair of my disco pants if it helps?

kato that made me laugh. Yes please do!

Oh la, I am so sorry. All those feelings are normal, just be kind to yourself now. Stop by the shops, get treats, go home, get into PJs and don't move until you have to.

That's a lot of science honey, confusing but the result seemed positive!

Oh no, I'm so sorry. :(

So sorry again La Those feelings are perfectly understandable!! You've been so brave throughout, you deserve as much time wallowing as you want! Roll on Christmas x

Big hugs la look after yourself x

Oh la so sorry I second dulcets advice, spoil yourself as much as poss. And loving the Christmas plan, got all my gingers and toes crossed for ya! Xx

Oh La. I'm very sorry.

Take care of yourself.

xx

Hey girls don't let my news bring you all down. I will get pregnant again and I will have a sodding baby. So will you all.

Now someone start talking about testing early or symptom spotting so I can start issuing hooyahs!

I'm not due for 10 days..... I still tested today! Yes I know I need a slap.... And I may have used contraband this cycle ....again.

Sorry La... you're so right.

I wish I had more symptoms to spot. Just some mild knackeredness and occasional nausea. But I did the last digi yesterday, and got pregnant 2-3, which is spot on. What will be, will be.

Most alarming, there are FLEAS in my house. Ugh, ugh! Hoovering like a maniac and wondering if it's OK to have the house fumigated in early pg. I don't want to, but this is hideous. I checked back to when we last treated the cat and it must have been too long ago. He's always bringing in mice and other delightful gifts. Skin is now crawling, and we don't live in a hovel - honest!

Ybefore if you use frontline I've read somewhere that it doesn't work in some areas as the fleas are becoming immune to it, might be worth getting the different stuff from the vets? I can't remember what it's called but I think it begins with an a, I need to get this next time for ours, just in case...

Advocate! Use advocate instead of frontline. Fleas in my area are resistant to frontline. You'll need spray for the house though, what a pain for you. But the fumes will not be good for you if pregnant - unfortunately you might have to leave the house for the afternoon while your other half does the spraying. I think it's ok to be around it an hour or two later (it says on spray can)

Oh no before! Nightmare! Been there though, noticed the fleas when it was too late! Took days to get rid and stop worrying about every bit of fluff I saw. I got a special spray from vets but you have to leave the room for 3-4hrs afterwards. Probably not good for pregnant bellies!

Our vets post the flea stuff to us every month so I don't forget any more - just do it when it arrives!

Haha. Cross post la but pretty identical advice!

Oh La that totally sucks :( I'm so sorry. Remember silver linings - you* got yourself a BFP and you can (and will) do it again. Not your fault this one wasn't a goer. Have a large glass of fuck-off delicious wine and wallow as much as you need. Hope you have some real life people for cuddles and to buy you cake.

AF due in four days and am completely symptomless. Grand. At least there's no need for a Hooya here

• Well, you and Mr La, but mostly you

We do the same as Dulcet for fleas. Or at least we did, going to have to figure that one out as well now...off to add 'find vet' to the never-ending to-do list.

la there are just no words.

before glad the digi is spot on. not nice about fleas. I just had my rental property fumigated for about £80. think a house is about £120 though so I'd try the spray first!

peak on contraband this morning so o day tomorrow. about to take dh home and get the disco pants and cape out!!

Chat I think we are POAS buddies. Due Friday. Also feel symptomless. slightly sick but I ate all the things today

Is eating all the things a symptom?

Eurgh sorry about the fleas Before ... we had an infestation of biblical proportion in a rental house a couple of years ago.... Don't waste your money on anything in the shops. Get advocate from vets or frontline from Amazon (much cheaper). Hoover the shit out of everything and wash stuff at 60° plus! The little buggers can survive at lower temps... Getting the council in to spray was best thing we ever did. Could you maybe stay at a friends overnight afterwards? X

Eating all the things is Def a symptom honey

sorry to hear this la :(

Blegh Before, sorry you are dealing with fleas. We also had an infestation in a rented house, we moved all our stuff in and the little fuckers promptly popped up everywhere. I cried.

Think you are going to have to unleash chemical warfare - but you've got a good excuse to take yourself out for the day and get someone else to do it!