Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Thank you!!

mrsb welcome, and I'm sure you probably know this, but start taking folic acid now, rather than waiting until you get pg :)

Loving the cat chat and buzzing frieds!

Hi mrs welcome! Tips - lil hit on the whole primrose oil/water to make ewcm more obvious to spot. Shag like crazy in week leading up to icing, not just when you're icing. Pre seed is pretty successful on this Fred I got upduffed the month we used it.

And yes, take folic acid now

Welcome MrsB :) we aren't mad...much!

Don't stress over TTC :) just try to enjoy the experience with your DH. Also if you are concerned over anything speak your gp about it. Mine was really helpful'

Welcome Mrs B! newlyweds are bound to win SOTM aren't they? Get on the the folic acid, and don't stress if your body takes a while to come to terms with the change in outlook - I was all over the shop after stopping depo and even the pill :)

Welcome MrsB! Sounds like you've come to the right place! Tip: aim to ensure that there is so much sperm in you that your egg can't help but trip over them as soon as it is released from the ovary! Try to win Shagger Of The Month (SOTM) no prize will be awarded if you can!

Yes Chat, he's lucky. Some such nonsense as "not wanting you to get upset when its bfn because its too early". How inconsiderate.

honey was previous sotm, she knows what she's talking about

Ha ha La, think i'll get "half-arsed shagger of the month" this time. Every other day before icing including the day of, 2 days later, but then none. (Because of tear.) Still, should have been plenty in there pre icing!

Welcome MrsB!

How's everyone doing this Sunday evening, then? I'm not ready for Monday to come but also wishing the days away - 11 dpo today, come onnnn.

I think last month's unsticky bean has sent me a bit loopy. I am on such a downer today, convinced I have a million symptoms one minute, and next minute certain it's the witch getting ready to strike. I do seem to be producing colostrum, of all fecking things, having not breastfed for 3.5 years. But maybe I do that every month? I mean I don't normally sit around of an evening milking myself apart from right now anyway-

Welcome Mrsb you've come to the right place for advice! Mine of information on buzzy frieds, crossed gingers and the like!!

gliding I feel your pain, although I started poas tres early and found it actually helped manage my expectations. Stopped me getting my hopes up etc. Am now sitting here in front of the x factor trying to milk myself now though!!! Cats are staring!

15dpo here and bfn ooff.Am still on the 20m ic's though. Not tried anything else other than the 10m ic's. Have a digi but they are way to blunt for my sensitive little soul and you can't draw your own line on them. Not sure whether to buy a frer or just wait it out and do the digi on the 1st if I get that far. Does anyone think an ic is reliable or am I kidding myself? Would like to get on with next cycle now and get my cape on. All this waiting is getting on my distinctly unmilky tits. hooyah-ing myself

I'm just wishing it wasn't Sunday! Although I have a semi job interview tomorrow and my cats is being neutered so I'm not in work but still not looking forward to the weekend being over!

In other news, my conceive plus arrived :D

Shall get hubby to pick up some evening primrose and some pre seed this week. Too bad if he's embarrassed. Haha..poor man.
Shall try my best to be SOTM, trying to not stress at work either. Although I feel like a proper cranky bitch hormone wise so maybe an excuse to slap someone? :p
Have been taking pre conception vitamins for about a month now, need to top up on my supply too.
Thank you for the support - hope I can contribute more than just asking questions!
Plan to DTD every 2nd day and see what happens. Should I POAS sometime as I've not had a period due to my implant being removed? Perhaps in 3 weeks do one if I don't have AF??
Lol...hope I've used the right acronyms :)

Your acronyms look great!

Gilding I am so with you. Very unimpressed that days still have 24 hours in them. The cheek of it.

Tink poamfs frer!

gliding mini hooyah for symptom spotting but think you deserve a and a hug

Good luck tomorrow jelly!

mrs you can get pre seed on amazon and ics

MrsB, I don't know for certain with the implant but I know with Depo it can take a long time for your periods to come back (like a year +).

Now I don't think the implant affects you near as much as Depo, but just be aware that if you don't get AF in 3 weeks it could be because your hormones take a while to return.

That said, my friend had her implant removed in November, went on the pill and then got pregnant in March :)

Aw good luck for you twotters, t'is a trying time. 20m are pretty crap I think, go for Superdrug Early - under a fiver for 2 and they are 10m!

Super drug, frer or ics 10 not 20 x

Af has arrived, feeling quite smug! Perfect 30 day cycle, ov'd on 15th day, 15 day luteal phase. Perfect temp curve. Fuck you pcos!!! Lol. Of course a bfp would have been amaze - but, I'll take that! Will nip to superdrug for next cycle, thanks chaps x

:) tink sorry she came but glad for you that's she's regular. Enjoy twpu x

Tink, I love that you can see the silver lining. Brilliant positivity!

I was naughty and did another ic at 10 dpo. Nothing doing. Trying not to get upset still. I have no willpower. Would love to say i won't test again until af due, but that's prob not going to happen.

honey there's no shame we all do it. But it will just stress you out which could skew the result. Try to hold off x

Read a good site just now which helped... Said that HCG doesn't start rising until after implantation, and can be anywhere between 1-5 in non pregnant people. Then doubles every 48ish hours. During my mc my levels were about 5 so I'd guess its usually lower than that. So even if I implanted at the very early stage of 6dpo, I would only just be seeing a bfp faintly now. If I implanted later it could be as late as a few days after AF is due. Last time I got a faint positive on a frer on the day AF was due. So it must have been only just over the threshold.

So I did some digging, and even frer don't recommend testing until weds at earliest, and think I should wait till Saturday.

So that, in combination with La assuring me I'm not a psycho, has made me feel much better.

For context, AF due on Friday. Seriously feeling much happier now.

I can go back to looking for newborn sensory toy ideas on Pinterest

Thank you la for richly deserved hooyah. I did a Tesco stick this morning and was negative, which makes me feel weirdly better - can now assume nothing's happening and stop thinking about it unless AF fails to show in a few days. Obsessing is no fun.

Sorry about AF, tink, but hooray for cycle behaving itself!

Hey viroids. I'm back for good. No sign of baby on scan, getting blood test tomorrow to double check and then wait for the rest to happen.

Just want it over so we can start again. I'm sad, angry and completely and utterly demoralised. But me and Mr La have already pledged to be upduffed by Christmas. I'm going to have a well needed rest then dig out those fucking disco pants and cape.