Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Glad it's semi-positive news la. Fx for two weeks time. No experience if dating wrong but I know this early it can be really tough to get accurate info on a scan. Just too small! Dates change all the time.

But 6 vibros?! That's quite a collection! Haha. Best get yourself on Anne summers lil!

I am very short tempered week before AF. It's mostly DH that suffers cos he's an aggravating shit but I am soon sorry. Also hungry. Must eat all the things!!

:( hugs Honey, at least you're ready for a few days time. When will you test again?

dulcet this links to what you said about messiness...

Last night, post JSing the damp patch seemed to be much more than a patch but extended over most of the middle of the bed and the duvet. I complained about this and DH said it was his new approach....fertilisation by osmosis! Not sure if the biology works but FX it works.

I missed where crossing gingers came from but I really like the term as DH is an ex-ginger.

hooyah honey. What was ROC on this occasion? And what does IC stand for?

Still got everything crossed for you La.

honey a mini hooya for you - far too early to test lovely, just sit on your hands til 12dpo xx

Oh, is IC internet cheapy?

Yeh IC is internet cheapie :)

And Wiggly, that fertilisation by osmosis really made me chuckle so thank you :)

Thanks ladies. Yes Wiggly, exactly right! I would love to wait for 12dpo at least but patience is not a virtue I have anymore after last month.

ROC is a stripey mug which was holding some charity wristbands. In a basket, on a bookcase. So I figured I may as well. Was surprised how little pee is needed for it!

I don't really get pmt to be honest. Although not sure as I'm in a bad mood anyway because I know what's coming!

I'm out - witch was just teasing with the spotting and launched in this morning just as I was getting ready to climb round a mountain on a load of very small, very high up iron rungs. Bless her, the evil cunt.
Alps is a work jolly - it is fantastic - great weather, fun stuff to do and I even like some of my colleagues. Just not so easy when you want to cry into your croissant. Mountain - loved the via ferrata but it was so much more challenging mentally and physically than I thought it would be - 3 hours of relentless adrenalin! About to have a little nap now.
La I'm so hoping all is well for you. Still hope!
tink I feel your pain - but there's still hope for you - fx for you in a vicarious fashion!
X

Gah bother that is rubbish news. Drink A LOT of Alpine booze tonight and enjoy the rest of your jolly.

:( how naff Bother hope you enjoy the Alps anyway!

bother boo to stupid evil bitchy witch have some booze and blue cheese to spite her tonight

honey you're bound to be feeling impatient, just a couple more days and you can get those sticks out - it's a huge waste of money otherwise trust someone who POAS far too early every month for 14 months and is very poor!

But La, they are cheapies! Pleeeeeease?! I have every intention of following your advice. for as long as my willpower lasts

Bother so sorry. At least you can make the most of your trip now, though I know that's no consolation.

CD 29, still in TWOT :( I feel very angsty though, and in theory I've got another week to go before AF is due. However Boobs hurt and I shouted at Mr Tee for criticizing the way I clear up cat sick (Don't even ask why...) Could this be the end of the 35+ day bonanza cycles?!

I have more than 6 buzzy things.... (no, not for use all at once) and I keep them in a black patent bag next to the bed :D

But you'll need them all for obsessively POAS later on. You'll thank me for it then! I have been using my stock up in the last week and ordered more.

tee wow! Impressive collection! Mine are in box by bed and I always hide them when we go away coz I'm paranoid someone cat sitting will look.

Ouch, sorry bother cunt is the only word.
honey I totally get the impatience thing. I think I only got to 9dpo when I was supposed to wait til 14!!
dulce I am currently eating all the things!!! Nutella is today's vice + filet o fish (not together).

Have decided to do something positive this weekend and paint the bathroom, it's either white or pink (only colours left in the shed), has to cover the canary yellow the last people left and somehow disguise the pale pink loo and sink! Thoughts anyone?? Might even splash out on some lino so we can see the back of the old carpet tiles, I hope you can still buy lino.....

tink you can buy lino! We had to last year when we finally sorted the bathroom and got rid of the carpet in the toilet and bathroom.

Boo to the bitch bother! Get yourself some banned treats to pass the time until your next chance!

That is an excellent fight topic tee! Hope you chucked him the kitchen roll to sort it his bloody self!

Fair point La! I will try to wait.

Thanks Tink, good to know its not just me. I don't want to wait another week! stamps foot And you can totally buy lino! We did the same to get rid of carpet. Although we just painted ours yellow but to be fair the suite is white and it was called "Lemon Sorbet".

Tee so how exactly does one correctly clean cat com? Be useful to know, although perhaps your dp thinks I should ask him?

Amazing news. My friend had her 12 w scan today and all is well! Last time she got this far only to be told the sac was empty and then took another year to get preg again. I am beyond excited for her and she is such an inspiration to me! Amazing exciting news.

Boo to the witch bother! She's a real bugger for turning up at in-oportune moments! Enjoy the alpine delights that face a twpu'er !

Honey and tink I am sending you a gentle hooyah stay away from the sticks! Although it is only gentle as I the queen of wasted sticks might have poas this morning in the wild hope AF was just ep spotting

mountain too late! Just peed on another, tried a 20m rather than the 10m (whatever that means), no different. Still nada!

Have realised that where I should have been tww-ing I have been twpu-ing, now in 4wpu!! Please don't judge me

Bought some conceive plus today :) arriving tomorrow ;)

Tink it is the minimum amount of hcg in your blood it can detect. So 10 will give you a result is there are 10+ micromilliters of hcg in your blood etc. 10 are more sensitive.

La that is brilliant news, all the gingers in the world are crossed for your next scan! Wiggly gingers crossed was an autocorrect.

I have had an argument with DH about cat sick too! Only it was because he kept wretching even though I was the one clearing it up and he ended up making me wretch too!

Bother so sorry she got you, but I bet they have great wine and smelly cheese in the Alps! Make the most of it!

I've also had the cat sick arguments! Mr La never cleans it up properly!

La I'm still keeping everything crossed for you

I used a buzzy friend the time I got pregnant

In other news I'm going on insulin in 2 weeks. Metformin isn't bringing it down low enough. If I want a baby, the only option is insulin