Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Oh no la so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you both x

La . I'm so sorry. Take all the time you need to get through this. I'm thinking of you, lovely lady.

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry

Oh bloody hell La, I'm so sorry...what a horrible shock for you. Hope whatever happens next is over fast and not too grim, so you can concentrate on feeling better and patching up that cape. xxx

thinking of you la

La I'm so so sorry lots of love to you and Mr La , and . Take as long as you need, we're here for you if you want to vent or scream away from RL

Congratulations before, that is a truly beautiful line!

oh la

Thanks for support guys you truly are amazing. before I'm so sorry for bringing down Fred on your bfp day - I really am delighted for you!

We've been in hospital all day and I'm exhausted. It's bit more complicated than they thought. Bloods show I'm pregnant but they are not sure it's definitely ectopic as they can't identify the mass in my Fallopian tube - could be baby or corpus luteum.

They have said there's a chance that baby could be somewhere else in womb, or that it's ectopic, or that I'm earlier than first thought (possibly due to long cycles) and it just can't be seen yet. I have to go to A&E if I have any pain.

On Friday I have to have repeat scan and bloods to see if pregnancy is progressing and find out where it is. If hcg is increasing it may be still viable if mass is not baby.

Knackered - on a drip all day. Will let you know how we get on Friday but in my head it's gone

Oh la so sorry.

La, I will keep everything crossed that there is some light at the end of this horrible tunnel for you. Hope you can get some rest in the meantime.

Oh bless you La, the uncertainty is the absolute pits! I'll be praying for a quick resolution for you.

Oh La, I am sorry, how horrible not knowing for sure one way or the other.

La, lovely, this isn't my day or my thread, it's for all of us, whatever's happening. Of course you should post whenever you want to, you've had a day from hell and if we can support you, that's what we'll do.

I'm so sorry for the uncertainty, I'm hoping for you that there's a good outcome. But meanwhile please rest, take good care of yourself and do whatever it takes to get to Friday.

Oh so sorry la! What an awful day but hopeful for you. The bloods should tell you what you need to know. Don't google it though! I made that mistake and it's just a confusing world of people it worked out for and people it didn't. Doesn't help. Just hang tight, we are all fingers crossed for you!

Congrats before, haven't seen the line myself as on the app but sounds like a beaut!

La I'm keeping everything crossed for you

Just to echo dulcet -- don't google! I'm medical and yet have still been strayed by the siren of google and every answer you want to hear/ give you nightmares. Also sweetie please don't yet loose hope, the fact that no one is panicking is really good

BTW before huge congratulatory hugs!

Yes, don't google! What flavour medical, mountain?

Agree, it's great news they aren't launching themselves at your tubes right away. Keep fingers crossed and wait for Friday. What time are things occurring?

Today I have spent 3 hours building a bed that looks to unsafe I'm toying with the idea of trashing the instructions and using the wood to build me a new one. You can't sit on the mattress without losing your arse through to the floor. Ridiculous design!

Lol just had an amusing image chat, we had a new bed delivered last week and it took dh 3hours to put it together (although I think he enjoyed the 'big mechano' ness of it. I'm a&e doc (why? Why?)

:) thanks lovelies it's a relief to be able to put it down in writing on here. Makes better sense than in head.

9:30 Friday is my next scan/bloods. Thinking positive thoughts

Mountain - every time I've needed A&E docs or paramedics they've been amazing (I've got uncontrolled epilepsy and get cluster seizures), always been too out of it to properly thank them when I've been there so I'll thank you instead, I bet you've had a few people like me causing chaos!

Gingers crossed for Friday La x

Wahaha! Fingers rather! x

Oh La. What a grim day for you. How sad. Sending you massive hugs. I hope you have good RL support and we're here for you too. The uncertainty must be awful. You will get through it though.

Before that is a BFP! Congratulations.

Chez Braddins I'm in need of comfort food but the most comforting thing we have in the house is granola. I may have to resort to sticking my finger in butter and sugar.

hold in to that ray of hope la I'll be thinking of you and Mr la

congrats before!