Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

honey yes eve primrose and lots of water should help x

Morning all!

I am streaming with a cold now - was going to try and DTD last night but instead went to bed in pyjamas and firmly told DH to bugger off to his side. Can't bear being touched and hugged when I'm all congested, makes me feel like I'm being smothered. Popping Sudafed in hope of some weasel action later.

Should have ovulated yesterday but think maybe day before going by pains. I usually notice EWCM but am struggling to spot it amongst the other fluid.

Honey I'm so pleased they've been able to relieve some of that horrid guilty feeling, hopefully the road is less rocky now.

Purple the metformin may still work - give it some time. And insulin doesn't always mean weight gain. All hope is not lost, the sugars are going in the right direction.

Waiting in for a delivery of a single bed today - little girl becomes big girl, and we can think about moving the cotbed back into our box room...

Calli that cake is beautiful, I may have to go and buy some eggs!

Hope you're feeling better soon Gliding

Afternoon ladies, I have an exam this afternoon (gulp) at home (I'm so important I can command my uni to send an invigilator to my home, lol) which is keeping me distracted by the arrival of AF yesterday afternoon.

Anyway, both of us are booked into the GP for a joint appointment next week to ask about ferility testing. 14 months is enough for me JSing I'm afraid. Time to get the big guns, as they say. [need brave smile face]

Lady sorry to hear AF got you, but you're on the right track with your appts so bring on the gunshow!

And good luck with the exam - it must be a big one to engender 1:1 attention!

Purple congratulations on getting your blood sugar levels down, I'm sure it won't be too long til you can start ttc again.

Honey I love making rainbow cakes! I don't do the delicate layer by layer style though (too much faff and wasting of cake - can't handle cake wasting), I do this style, more rebel rainbow cake style www.omnomicon.com/rainbowcake
I also just use sainsbury's basic cake mix, it's great, I use 3 packs to make it a bit bigger. I got sugarflair colouring on ebay for much cheapness.

Gliding, hope you feel better soon, colds are rubbish, esp when ttc!

Lady hope your exam went well, and so sorry about the witch. Good luck at the doctor, hopefully this'll give you a better chance now.

Voted today, I nearly ticked the wrong box... Doh!

Thank you fresh and callipy, it went okay, yay!

I'm studying for a degree part-time from home and I have dyslexia. Really I don't need to take it at home but I asked to use a computer in my own room for my exam and they couldn't do that at my uni test centre so the lady very apologetically told me I would have to take it at home.

I was like waheyyy! The alternative was driving for an hour to the nearest exam centre. Oh, how terrible. Really? I guess that's the best option then...

Well done Lady, at least you know you're on the TWPU now your exam's over so bring on the ! That's great they were able to give you your exam at home. At uni I was a reader/scribe for people with dyslexia, always felt so guilty about my crap pronunciation of medical words!

Ewcm! Ewcm! I see it! I'm icing! Where's my cape?!

Calli the cake looks awesome!

Lady hope your exam went well! Enjoy the twpu. All those runny eggs and glasses of wine. (I ate boiled eggs every day after my mc because I could.)

Get shagging honey quick!

I have the opposite problem to you lot that are hunting around for ewcm...AF finished yesterday and I have it already today. that's not to say I'll ice early like a "normal" person though. usually cd18-20 wish. only cd6 atm.
that cake pic is not helping to keep me on the diet wagon!

as for exams don't talk about them! I have one in 6 weeks and I am so unprepared!

Only small about so going to get cape on tomorrow morning instead. Mr Honey needs time to recharge, apparently. Yay for morning cape action!

Get shagging honey!

Woke up at 2am for a wee and still awake watching results. Been very tense!

Tell mr honey to take one for the team!

Morning everyone! It's Friday! Hope your wam was ok lady :)

Honey, get your cape on gal! Gogo!

3 more days of my progesterone tabs and then we can get back to DTD (and hopefully the witch will rear her ugly head)! Although DP has a rotten cold at the moment! Not fun!

Was woken up last night from what sounded like the storm of the apocalypse!

So Scotland wants to stay. can the rest of us in the UK vote now! lol. hope you Scots in here aren't disappointed with the result. have to say I'm glad its all over. EU referendum next?

Glad it's over but hope the momentum stays and brings about change. I don't think they can ignore neat half a population saying they want something to happen.

*nearly
Seriously phone can you stop changing my fecking words!

Relieved with the outcome of the vote but yes, they now need to look at devolution in all parts of the u.k. England needs a separate gov too, so all 4 countries feel they are treated equally.

No luck this morning. Poor Mr Honey is not a morning person. We agreed to jump him when he gets home from work. To be fair we dtd on the 17th so as long as I get me some jizz tonight we're all good.

I think i might be the queen of tmi.

I have no idea what a wam is Lady but I apologise, I meant exam :P Darn phones! A wam kinda sounds dirty!

Morning all! Glad your exam went well, Lady. Come on Mr Honey, find your mojo!

To outdo the queen of tmi, I have found out it is much better to DTD from behind when full of cold as it is easier to surreptitiously blow my nose. Glamorous vixen that I am.

Ha ha ha gliding that's amazing! Will have to bear that in mind.

Next door are having a conservatory put in. Today a few fence panels are down so they can access the side. I'm loving watching! So nosy!

Gliding that's good to know!

I'm only part-Scottish and living in Belgium, so I don't really have any right to any opinion, but I'm glad they're staying - we do need separate parliaments though. Like how the US states have a lot of freedoms. I'd like an EU referendum, please wait until I'm home though!

Jelli fingers crossed you can get cracking next week!

Good luck for results, Lady, enjoy the TWPU. I went for pate as my indulgence post mc. And wine, copious amounts of wine. I only miss them a bit.

Cape action ahoy in chateau chat...gearing up for an ice I hope. Weirdly nervous, probably due to my attempts to invoke the LOS - half term in Barbados with my mother what have we done - Lord love inset days knocking £1000 off the flights so we can afford it!

Chat, do you teach in an international school or do you speak other languages? I'm a Chemistry teacher. Although DH asked me about cellular mechanisms last night (some gif on reddit he found) and I realised how interesting I find that sort of thing. Not that I'd get to teach that at A level Bio either, so I'm glad I chose Chemistry.

Nope, honey IRL I'm a babydoc but living overseas for DH's work so currently volunteering in a variety of places - hospital, school, community. I speak French badly (I can read it a lot better). My Dutch is improving, from non-existent to 'can recognise days of the week and numbers'.

I wasn't so great at chemistry, the inorganic stuff just didn't float my boat. I was much better at maths biology (and find it more interesting!)