Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Argh sorry grad ladies!! I didn't want to post in there and make the fred disappear but I won't be near a laptop til later tonight... hopefully Ness / Furry has shown up and done the honours by now!!

Hooray Widdly I only had sporadic symptoms til about 6/7 weeks x

Congratulations wiggly Fx for Friday xx

Waahhh Wiggly congrats!
Jelly and Lil, amazing news!
Mountain - I'm 5dpo too, and symptom spotting like mad. It's ridiculous. I felt sick for about 30 seconds today and my brain had a civil war: 'this could be my first symptom' 'no it couldn't' 'but it could be...' all while dealing with a client who probably wondered why the hell my eyes were glazed over.
Honey I was a young leader at Brownies - they ended up calling me Squidgy Owl because after the 'Goodnight Brownies' 'Goodnight Brown Owl' bit they always ran up and squidged me (bless). If that has outed me, hello to anyone who knows me...

Ah that's so cute! I'm the Brown Owl and also the District Commissioner.

Congrats wiggly!

Yay callipy! A twot buddy :) I had the same mental argument with myself after getting thinking my sense of smell had suddenly become amazing and was making me feel sick it might have been because I was using a sharpie

So I'm going with my sil to her first midwife app tomorrow, anyone know what I should expect?

Congrats Wiggly

Yayyy Lil thats not too far away. Hope they get you sorted quickly.

I'm having a cheeky vino today, 2nd night away from DH after nearly 3 weeks of being with him. Only tomorrow night then back home.

Had a meltdown on the GP yesterday, sugar now down to 10-11 when it was at one point 25. They are pleased with my progress, but its still not low enough for TTC, and that depresses me. I'm still struggling with the m/c and feel like I won't feel better about it til I'm pregnant again but I can't see that happening this side of Christmas, or even TTC again.

On the plus side we went away for a week and I didnt gain any weight :)

At least it's going in the right direction purple. Chin up lovie, you'll get there .

Is it her booking app mountain? If so, just lots if questions about medical history plus some bloods taken.

Evening viroids!

jelly what ring did you choose? Great news. Huge congrats!

lil your appointment is so close how exciting!

wiggly many congrats on your BFP!

Oooh yes jelly tell us about the ring!!

Wilma I have no idea! I know she went to the gp when she first got bfp and they told her to make app with mW so this is it?

Yeah most likely it is booking app. If it's her first baby it might take a while, otherwise shouldn't take too long. Unfortunately nothing majorly exciting happens at it!

Hugs purple it's heading in right direction hang on in there x

Feel a bit sick today. Been symptomless for a week. Might be hunger though...

Purple, that's an amazing reduction, well done! Totally get what you mean about the miscarriage. I feel fine about it now, but starting to know if i don't get upduffed this month it will hit me like a tonne of bricks. But i also know stress won't help so trying to stay calm and take it one shag at a time, as it were.

Jelly, we need details!

La, any "morning" sickness yet?

honey felt bit rubbish this morning but otherwise no. Gas is my nemesis just now - I'm ridiculous, I have to get up and walk around every half hour or so!

Fx for everyone twotting. Who's testing next? Honey got fx for you x

I am also TWOTing. I think I'm about 9dpo, but not feeling any different to normal. I find the 2nd week of the tww to be worse so I'm sure I shall be needing a few hooyahs in the days to come! I'm testing/due AF in about a week's time.

Morning Twot pals rm00054 mountaingirl and callipy. 3 days DPO and already think I'm feeling dizzy and sick...there's no hope for me!
Have a good day all.

I agree RM at least in the first week there's the excuse to self of no point testing..in the second week I start calculating implantation
I plan on testing at 11 dpo I know it's early but I have my appointment with the infertility clinic the next day and really want to sock it to them plus it's my wedding anniversary. If that is bfn I will be a good girl and wait apart from the 20 ICS hidden in my bathroom

Lol morning bother!

Also twotting, 4 dpo and cape is broken dh would not come near me last night (last night of fertile window) and has gone away for a few days today. Am now focusing on next month I think, as so new to charting etc had no idea when to dtd this month, can now see on ovia that it's pretty much over for this cycle. Only managed 5 x so far but at least dtd 2 days before icing so I suppose you never know. Fx

Morning Viroids, especially you TWOT'ers :) Very exciting!

So we went looking at rings last night, and I saw one I loved! It's platinum (I'm really heavy handed and I'd worry about the fragility of white gold), with a single diamond on the top, from Goldsmiths. I wanted the smaller diamond, 0.25 carat. but DP being his lovely self said he would want to get me the bigger one which is 0.33 carat, but more money! Still, it's his choice ultimately so he is going to buy it at some point and then I think give it to me in Munich so when we come back I can tell everyone he proposed :)

This is the ring :) www.goldsmiths.co.uk/Solitaire-blossom-cut-0.25-carat-diamond-ring-in-platinum/p/06015431/

Fingers crossed, TWOTters.

Purple that's a great reduction, it will take a little time. I know how you feel about the mc, I'm a snappy cow at the moment, I know I am and I hate it. I'm blaming hormones - not sure quite how long I can go on doing that for though

That would be awesome, Mountain

Aw, congrats to all the people with various bits of happy news! That ring's lovely, jelly.

Mountain I plan to test next Friday, that's 15dpo and day AF is due - I wanted to do the Wednesday because it's our anniversary but it would be early still and didn't want to risk ruining it over a pesky BFN!

Goooorgeous ring Jelly!

Making a mahoosive cake for my colleague's 30th birthday tomorrow, I'm thinking death by chocolate with toblerone chunk edging? Thank God we can still eat cake on the TWOT!

Afternoon Viroids

Hope everyone's ok - took me ages to catch up on the Fred news! Not much to report except AF is finally chuffing off so cape/disco pants are being dusted off ready to give rm a run for SOTM

Wiggle fingers crossed for you & the bean, thinking of you lots

Lil best of luck with your appt, glad it's finally come through for you & maybe you'' invoke the law of sod?

Purple great news on your results - how low do you need to get to to TTC?

Twotters - mountain, tink, rm & callipy try to stay sane who am I kidding I'd be twitching like crazy

jelly - classical beautiful ring, nice taste!

& finally hellllooooo gliding