Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Morning Viroids :) Hope you all have a wonderful Monday! DP and I have booked a weekend break to Germany for the Christmas Markets in November :) I can't wait! Going to lots of js'ing that weekend I think!

Morning all,

Belated thanks Wiggly for the yoga and Lovejoy solidarity...makes me feel somewhat less barking! And I really really hope your BFP continues to be one.

Had the in-laws over for lunch yesterday, I was cornered by Mother in Law in the kitchen and quizzed: 'no baby yet then?' 'Have you thought of IVF?' Seriously - we're really not at all close, so I was gobsmacked! I get it - she's worried she's going to snuff it before it happens, but what do people expect you to say when they ask how it's going? The honest answer was 'actually I'm about to ovulate according to the OPK I peed on this morning, so if you could fuck of out of my house I'd like to get my cape on with your son'...?

So, on that note, DTD friday night, got a positive OPK yesterday morning, DTD straight away, set the alarm for early this morning only to be given the 'not in the mood' brush off by Mr B...he'd better be in the mood tonight! Or do you think it'll be too late? How much warning does an OPK actually give you? It's the first time I've actually bothered my arse to do it...to be fair, is was nice just to see a line on something for a change!

Happy shagging, shaggers.

X

Can I join in and just shag with you? I mean, alongside you. In spirit. Not in the same room. You know what I mean.

Been shagging for a few months. Had a chemical preg last month. :( But am back on the horse, so to speak. Should be ovulating around Wednesday, plan is to spend the week screwing like weasels in heat.

Hi glidingpig...of course, join the shag-fest! Thanks for the clarification too...I know we're all in this together, but was assuming that was metaphorical! Aw - sorry about last month - hoping the weasel action works for you.
x

Hi Gliding! Welcome to the fred of the best shaggers on MN. Bother, you totally should have said that to her, what an arse. It's DH's birthday and our anniversary this week and I had a dream last night I went to Ann Summers to buy pretty much everything. May have a trip up there this afternoon to investigate one of those wevibe things you lot were going on about!

OMG - you just made me google 'WeVibe' at work...delete search

Welcome Gliding sorry to hear of the chemical pregnancy, happy shagging this week :)

Bothersome clear the cache! You so should tell your MiL that next time she opens her mouth! Or give her some health-related tips to stick around on this earth long enough to meet any GC she's lucky enough to get.

Wiggly hoping for a magic bean for you.

I'm mostly spending this week shagging as well. AF finally fucked off yesterday, so we're back on the JS wagon. Went out for a delicious birthday dinner yesterday, it's a good start to the week :)

Good luck Chat :)

Need some answers viroids! I am having some very strange action going on in my body today. I've been on the progesterone pills since Friday, today I keep rushing to the toilet thinking AF has started but it's just watery CM (sorry for TMI) and I also had about 5 minutes of what I can only describe as lower stomach fluttering, felt like I could feel the inside of my uterus area fluttering like mad!

Anyone else had that feeling? Does it mean AF is coming?

Weheheh Bother, I googled it too on last Fred and they kept on coming up as adverts on my laptop!

On ya go Chat get that cape on!

Jelly I have no idea, never taken progesterone, whereabouts in your cycle are you? Try not to overthink things pot kettle, if you're anything like me you're probably just so much more aware of everything that happens because you've started ttc. You're not out until AF comes though.

Just a fleeting check in...jelly I imagine you're hormones are just all over the place. I reckon AF will show when you end the prog course - it's the drop in prog at the end of our cycles that causes our body's to shed the uterine lining and start a new cycle. Not sure why you're getting watery CM as that is the job of oestrogen, but as I say you're hormones are probably everywhere because of the issues you're having and the progesterone pills. I wouldn't worry and don't read too much into anything. Just keep calm and see what happens at the end of the prog course. If nothing within a week of finishing the tablets i'd be back at the doctor. hope that helps!

Welcome gliding - sorry to hear about the chem.

Welcome gliding

Thank you for the good wishes. I'll let you know how POAS goes in the morning.

bother your MIL sounds dreadful. It's none of her business. DH is spending this weekend with his mum & is already sighing about how annoying she'll be (she does a good line in being nosy & gossipy). Luckily DH has refined silent evasion over many years which is in no way annoying when he does it to me so he'll cope well...I just get cross with her.

Good luck lovely shaggers!

Did you poas this morning widdly? Has the bleeding stopped? Fx xx

RPopz still bleeding from when I get up til after lunch. It's definitely a light bleed rather than spotting but is also definitely much less than my usual AF or mmc. Will POAS again tomorrow. At least bleed isn't getting worse so FX it's a break through bleed and tomorrow there'll be a darker line.

thank you for asking

Just realised you called me widdly. I certainly will be that in the morning

Fingers and toes crossed for you Widdly - that most definately should be your new name!

fx widdly

I can't tell you how ridiculously insanely pathetically annoying my mil is because I would most definitely out myself. but she's absof*inglutely mental!

Oops

Ha ha ha good luck tomorrow Widdly!

Its officially 18 days before i can poas again. Bit worried... Kinda expecting to get preg immediately again so will prob be devastated if i get BFNs and AF. Hooyah please!

Got to say, my MIL is lovely! We have/had the same career so its great to have someone to understand how much you can hate Mr Gove without meeting him.

Lil are there not any stories you can tell us?

Fx for you wiggly!!! :) we need a BFP in this Fred

Fx for all of you getting your cape action on this week and wiggly widdly? I'm hoping it's good news for you.

Need some bfps on this Fred

Hi gliding !

Good luck wigglyxxx

jelly I have never taken progesterone so I'm sorry I can't help, thinking of you though - try and stay calm if you can says the world's biggest worrier!!

Welcome gliding

So my temp has spiked, apparently this means that I am ovulating!!! Am so thrilled, the contraband was totally worth it, even though the opks never gave me a positive result I knew that I was because of the other symptoms on the day I got a darkish line. Am now stressing that we haven't dtd enough!!

lol, bother* my mil is a major oddball, never ever ever met anyone who talks so much!!

Get shagging tink!

congrats on the spike tink make sure you keep temping until you get 3 raised temps to actually confirm ov though. not been temping for two years at all!

honey I am struggling to think of something that won't out me. we have fallen out and not spoken for nearly a year once. and that's not the only time we haven't spoken. the year one was because I didn't do what she wanted for dhs 30th so she "couldn't" wouldnt come. dh did the sensible thing and stuck up for me when I explained how I had tried to include her and she went mental at him. I wish I could tell you all the fiascos like our wedding!

Massive Fx for wiggly this morning! Am officially on the TWOT now with plenty of distractions - Mr B's birthday at the weekend (of to Jersey for 2 days) then a work jolly to Geneva for 2 days... The sensible drinking's going to go well then!
Meantime, anyone else get leakage paranoia after dtd? This morning I brushed my teeth while doing a shoulder stand against the towel rail (messy) and held a wee in for am hour for fear of squeezing out some of the little chaps by accident!