The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Sorry for the bfn Grace but definitely get to the drs, as Lady says they will do blood tests and sa then refer you both to the FC. If you have irregular cycles do you have pcos?

Ahh Tiger I don't know how you give them back! Well done. He was so cute too. When's your FC appointment? Can they give you a round of iui or anything before the 3yrs for IVF? Sorry AF is on the way, and you too Nolly do you have to be trying 3 years before IVF too? Dh has about 3 weeks left before he finishes. He still will have about 4 hours a week with something else so I suppose that's something! How was your weekend Nolly? Any dates for you lap yet?

Bushy sounds like you've had a rough weekend, it also sounds like your friend doesn't want to talk about her experience, as you say. I hope you enjoy your spa day and latte/wine.

Lumen well done you on managing peppa pig world! That would have done me in, I dread the day I have to go to places like that! Yey to the 4 day week

RP I'll be waiting to hear then after the 20w scan!

Hope everyone is ok!

Ahh Kitten I missed your post as it took me so long to do mine! Glad things have settled down for you bleeding wise and boo to the sore boobs. I will keep hoping for you and Lady that you both aren't too ill and this part flies over uneventfully for you both.

bushy sorry to hear you have been feeling bad, still bleeding and things getting you down. Getting some reliable support lined up for when you go back to work sounds like a good idea.

TV ads, noses questions and 'woe is me, I'm a parent' social media is just bleurgh! All of those things get on my nerves too, so you are definitely not alone. Burn that ass off in the jacuzzi!

lumen love the idea that it's the weather that is bringing us all down. My boot leaked today so I am now walking around at work in a soggy sock. Why do I need to wear my boots in August anyway?!

RP Impressed that the home basting method may have worked. And I'm thrilled to meet someone else who has one shorter and then one longer cycle in alternate weeks. I have that too, but whenever I mention to doctors etc they have never come across it before.

beaky four hours a week is something and out of little acorns bigger things can grow. Horrible to have that worry on top of everything else though.

Hello lovely Berries, remember me?

I've been AWOL for a while, everything just felt so overwhelming after the second mc and what with getting married, going on honeymoon etc. in the past month. Well, I fell off the Berrie wagon. Can I come back please?

I've got pages and pages to catch-up on so I'll get on that this evening. Good (well not good, I wish you were all in the chopper iykwim) to see some familiar faces and hello to those I haven't met.

All still s**t in the ttc camp for me. Just had my 13th (yes, 13th!!) and final Clomid cycle. BFN today and AF due any day. DH (oooh, first time I've referred to him as 'H' on here!) and I are now on the IVF waiting list which we'll get to the top of next June apparently. Seems like a bloody long wait. In the meantime, I start fertility injections with timed shagging (IUI protocol without the IUI bit) next week. Feeling decidedly meh about the whole thing and seem to be getting weekly pregnancy announcement joy from friends these days

Anyway, I'm here and I'd be good to catch-up with everyone.

Oh, my stats:

Otters, 32, ttc since March 2012, BFP Sep 2013, MMC Nov 2013, BFP April 2014, MC May 2014, 13 rounds of Clomid done, moving onto Injectables next month, IVF scheduled for June 2015

Evening all.

nolly hope you're feeling more cheerful but if not then you can join me in the grumpy corner. Grrrr.

bushy hope you had a lovely day at the spa and that you're feeling a bit better. I'd imagine if you're still bleeding then all the hormones will still be rushing around too and adding to any sadness. I think all these little things, ads, being grilled about kids, pg announcements everywhere just add up and become unbearable sometimes and after mc it must be 100 times worse. Stay strong though my dear, you're doing so well. It is Italy we are off to, middle of nowhere in Umbria. Can't come soon enough. I think Mauritius is rain later in the year maybe?

lumen you deserve a medal for surviving peppa pig world!

wild hope your work isn't messing you around today!

beaky how are you? My FC appt is next week. I don't know if they'll offer iui but I shall certainly ask.

otters welcome back. Hope you had a fab wedding and honeymoon. Sorry that you got a bfn but at least that's the clomid out of the way. I can't believe how many cycles they made you do!

The sadness is still lingering. Even yoga didn't sort it out, but the silly cow in front of me (rushing to show off her moves) kicked me in the head, which didn't help . Af due Thursday and expecting it to arrive right on cue. so sick of this monthly disappointment!

Otters! Welcome back, how was your wedding and honeymoon? Rubbish that you've had to do 13 rounds of clomid, are your injectables gonal-f?

Was work ok today Wild? I actually had my winter coat on today! Was very cold up here though.

Tiger sorry the sadness is lingering, and wtf about the stupid head kicker?! Hope you "accidentally" pushed her over Did you have to have clomid? I know iui isn't the best success rate but if they will do it you never know! It's already helped me to know what's going on in there too with the scans.

How's everyone else today?

Work was fine today, thank you for asking beaky and tiger. I was working in a different office today where everyone is lovely.

Shocked, shocked to the core am I at your head-kicking classmate tiger. At least in Umbria,in the middle of nowhere, no one will be kicking your head. Sounds lovely.

Hello otters - interesting about the IUI protocol without the actual IUI bit. IUI has been mooted for us, but I'm not totally convinced as the success rates are not great. I'm going to ask them about IUI and immune therapy protocol ie steroids. I'm convinced that immune system malfunction is our problem.

gil how is it going?

If there has to be a grumpy corner then I can't think of anyone nicer to be in it with than you Berries.

Morning all. Welcome back Otters. Hope your wedding and honeymoon were fab and sorry for no honeymoon updiffment.

Sorry can't reply to everyone as on phone and have mind like a sieve but hope that everyone is managing to work through the stuff sent to try us.

Still stabbing here and started taking the oestrogen tablets on Sunday. I up the dose of these every few days until my scan on the 7th. Just hoping the flood of oestrogen back in my body doesn't set off the polyps again. Also not happy to have put on half a stone in a week! How is this possible? Whilst my diet isn't perfect I haven't eaten enough to justify 7 pounds.

otters! I was thinking about you just a couple of days ago and wondering how you were. good to hear from you, sorry no FUFC. how was honeymoon and wedding?

tiger still in a foul mood, yes. My family are playing up again and I"m also have a long email fight with a moron from LA fitness who doesn't believe that London is more than 10 miles from Manchester. seriously. Can't beleive your yoga tw*t actually kicked you. hope you kicked her back.

come and pull up a chair in the grumpy corner too wild. we've been offered IUI too but the pregnancy rates for people like us (unexplained) over a year are the same as with no treatment. so the only reason to do it would be if I needed to feel I was was doing something, really.

beaky yeah we've got to go for 3 years (1+1) before they'll do anything. god i wish we'd lied about it even more. Gah! how are you feeling? DH doing ok?

gil mystery weight - probably water? let's say it's water.

bushy sorry you're still bleeding, hope this is coming to an end for you. How was your spa day? great idea to have somethign like that to do, gets you out the house etc. have you decided what you want to do with work?

lumen peppa pig! the horror. How's things with you?

Hi everyone else...

having a moment of 'I've never going to get pregnant' despair and hoping it's not one of bleak reality :(

Chin up nolly, in the wise words of feather Your Time Will Come. I tell myself that a lot.

Welcome back otters and congrats on your wedding. Hope your next course of treatment is the successful one.

gill glad to hear you are ok. I drank loads of water whilst stimming and I assume you are too, so I agree with nolly that any weight gain is water retention. I will be getting the Pom poms out to keep the polyps/cysts (memory ) away.

nolly I am waiting for my next AF to arrive then I can book IVF #2, but mostly I am currently on holiday countdown 13 days

thanks lumen. hooray for hols, we've just booked ours too. 2 weeks woo!

Aw nolly that's totally understandable but for try yo keep your chin up, sweetheart
Hi otters!
Well I spoke to the midwife this morning and she requested I went to the early pregnancy unit at stepping hill for a blood test to check the hormone levels. Went in, got bled, just phoned them back and they said the level is pretty high so they're positive and think it was only spotting after all. Massive deep breaths! They've asked me in for a scan tomorrow morning, just waiting to hear if husby can wriggle out of work....
lady I have tentatively poked my head in the door!!

Great news kitten, let us know how you get on with your scan before you abandon us for the chopper

thanks kitten and good luck with the scan, hope you dh gets to go with you!

Good luck with the scan kitten, hope you see a teeny tiny heartbeat!

Gill I have made some pom poms especially for a "piss off polyps" dance, all fingers crossed for you. The half a stone could well be side effects from the drugs, or water retention. Roll on the 7th!

Nolly you totally will get there, look back at the list at the start of the thread and how many berries have had natural bfps. It is a hard slog of course but nothing worth having is easily come by keeps trying to convince self of that and as Feather said and proved, our time will come. Please hang on! Sorry you're having shitty family stuff and what an idiot from LA gym! Where you off on hols?

Lumen not long til your amazing hol! Will you fit in IVF before that or after? Sorry am a bit confused!

Kitten great news about the blood test but all fingers firmly crossed for you for the scan. Hope your dh manages to make it too. Do let us know how you get on.

I had a weird thought on the way home from acu yesterday, basically it was that I was in the future having had a babyies and was looking back on now thinking, if only I could have known then it would all turn out ok, I wouldn't have been so stressed and worried. Weird eh!

Hello Mrs otters!! Nice to have you back.

Spa day was nice but bit random. The hotel was nice but their spa bit was a bit like a leisure centre and a bit run down. They'd swapped the changing rooms over too so we had to get ready in the men's!! It was pretty cramped and only one toilet cubicle with a faulty lock- bit tricky when you're trying to sort out a 'situation'! Still we had a nice steam, a jacuzzi, little swim and the treatments were lovely. We went to get changed and there were 2 little babies in car seats taking up loads of the changing room space!! Lots of the other women were complaining about them! I thought you'd appreciate the irony of the babies.

Went back for appt at hospital to see if miscarriage complete. Would you believe that there's still some in there!! Apparently only a small bit of tissue. As I've had 2 medical managements they've given me some strong antibiotics which should prevent any infection and also may help things along. I'm to go back in a week. I really hope it'll be done by then. It's been 4 weeks of bleeding!!

Went to see a colleague today who has cancer. She's such a lovely woman and is about to start chemo. I told her about my situ and she said we both need to be positive. She sent me a text saying things will work out, bless her. So lovely to think of others when things are so difficult for her.

tiger how very dare that woman kick you in the face!!

morning all.

bushy your colleague sounds like a lovely lady and I wish her well. I'm sure things will work out for you both. How frustrating to still be bleeding, I hope it ends soon for you.

beaky I don't think that is weird at all and in fact it sounds like a good sign. I think it is important to let yourself see and feel your future with your baby and believe in it. I'm sure that one day you will be looking back on all of this with a baby in your arms, wishing that you could have reassured yourself it would be ok. I'm hoping that will be the case for all of us.

nolly don't despair. It's the uncertainty of the future that makes this so hard, and I think it is worse when family or friends don't seem to be able to provide support. I'm still firmly in the grouchy corner as af arrived in the night, therefore I had a sleepless night and have mega pains. Am also annoyingly bloated, and all my clothes are irritating me and making me feel fat! Af is so heavy I have to avoid yoga for a couple of days, so that doesn't help either, as it is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment (when I am not being kicked in the head that is).

lumen, nolly I am also joining you on the holiday countdown...10 days to go!

gil definitely water retention. I can put on around 5lb over af and then it vanishes again a couple of days later!

kitten good luck for your scan later!

Thankfully I am off tomorrow, so this is the last day of work to get through this week!

Have a good day everyone! x

Hello Berries!! I am back from holiday #1 and in total work avoidance mode (550 emails in one week, get lost!!!). Thankfully the light at the end of the tunner is that I am also joining lumen, nolly & tiger in the 10 day holiday countdown to Mauritius - woop woop!

We did not manage to get in even a single shag while we were away, but made up for it as soon as we got home! I think it's OK tho as I got lots of ewcm yesterday and have major ovulation eyes today (I spent a disproportionate amount of time ogling Henry Cavill in this morning's Metro).
Was a lovely holiday tho - lots of cold sea swimming and indulgent food & drink. Only had one ttc related wobble which was at the airport yesterday seeing all these families with their long limbed tanned broods happily galivanting around - got major at that.

Great to have you back otters and I hope you're not back for long (IYSWIM)
bushy so sorry you're still not out of the MC woods, hopefully you'll be back in the saddle really soon and i'm glad you've got some RL support for work.
beaky every time I try to envisage that picture my mean inner voice tells me not to be so stupid. I am my own worst enemy sometimes.

Got a Dr's appt tomorrow - booked it the other week after all the talk of asymptomatic endometriosis so it's specificially to discuss that. Not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a hypochondriac loon.

Right, got lots of work thread catching up to do so will go off and swot up

bushy so sorry about the chuffing bleeding, you poor sausage. I concur that your colleague sounds amazing, sending you both happy vibes.
rain no amount of ogling him is disproportionate, you go for it! ;)
Thanks for the good wishes berries, so much appreciated seriously. It went well thank you!! We saw a heartbeat :) I guess I should sod off to the copter but I'm still pinching myself tbh. Measured at 6-7 weeks which is what we'd worked it out to be. Yay! Now I'm going to celebrate by having a nice big puke.....

Excellent news kitten, hope all continues to go well.

bushy I hope you are done with the bleeding soon? Have you tried raspberry leaf tea? I remember is helped barking to speed things along. Your spa sounds nice (babies and changing room aside) and I am glad that your colleague has been so lovely, sorry to hear about her illness though.

tiger I hope AF lightens up and is gone soon so you can get back to yoga and give the head kicking woman evils.

rain I am always aware of ovulation from my indecent fixations on celeb men, Henry Cavill is a good choice! Hope your docs appointment goes ok tomorrow and that you don't come off as a loon

beaky I think it is lovely that you can see your future with babyies can you foresee the same for the rest of us please? I will be phoning next week when AF shows up for my IVF cycle. That means I will start down regging towards the end of Sept, then cycling through Oct and finding out if when successful in Nov. It will be nice not to worry about hayfever sneezes this time but I have a feeling the rest of the year will go by quickly with this to keep me occupied.

And good to know so many other berries have holidays to look forward to

Went and signed the paperwork for round 3 of our IVF today.
The oddest thing was though that although I was not worried about it in the slightest I dreamed last night that I was holding a baby girl and looking through a photo album of her. At the front of the album was her date of birth, 8th of May 2015.
I got very excited about that this morning but I don't think the dates would add up.