The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Kitten hope you're ok this evening and everything has settled down.

Thanks for the support berries, it is much appreciated. Feel quite down today but think it's a mix of being ill, dh's job, being on the effing pill for a month and still not starting iui. Nolly it is definite re dh job and Wild with the job he does, they don't come up frequently and it means I'd be sole earner, I don't have any maternity benefits or anything so we would really struggle financially. Anyway, sorry to whine. It'll work out!

Tiger the foster puppy is lovely! Do you find it hard to take them back? I think I would.

Lady how's things going with you?

Nolly how is your Rioja and HP weekend going?

Rain Oo that's a tricky one, can you maybe do a real quicky with cushions on the floor? romantic!

How's everyone else doing?

Aw, tiger what a cutie your little visitor looks. It really must be hard to give them back at the end of the weekend.

My beautiful cat was missing this morning -for about five minutes- and I was distraught. I kept calling her and after a little while she turned up, ate some tinned tuna and then back out again - probably back to a be fussed on a neighbour's lap I imagine.

beaky that is a pain about your DH's work situation. It never rains but it flipping pours. No need to apologise for whining because i) it sucks ii) that is what we are here for. It will work out though.

rain - standing up position. Do it now.

beaky Sorry to hear about your DH, I hope he finds something else quickly.

kitten How are you doing this morning? Sounds like it was "just" a scare, but sorry you had to go through that especially when you're away from home.

tiger The dog is adorable and looks so contented. How can you bear to give him back?

Tiger - that's really good of you to foster, I'd love to do that but work long hours so it wouldn't be fair on the fur baby!
Beaky sorry to hear about the contract for DH, things like this usually work out in the end me and my DH were both made redundant on the same day in 2009 two days after exchanging on out first house, he decided to go back to uni as a mature student and my career took off in another company, it was the best thing that happened to us. Hope it all works out for you.
Kitten glad things have settled down for you.
Me? Well the past week has been one filled with symptom spotting, my boobs are sore, but they usually are in the run up to af , but I swear they have doubled in size overnight, last week I had rage, not pms full blown rage, but I was really stressed about my mum. I feel sick most days unless I am eating, but again a simple stress symptom and I've had constipation again when I get stressed My stomach seems to take the brunt of it. So who knows, could just have major pms symptoms, which I would also be glad of as I am so irregular, if I was settling into a "normal" cycle of 28/29 days I would be happy with that, if I meet af on Tuesday that will be the second 28/29 day cycle in a row!
My mum's op went well, she is as bright as a button but sore, she's able to get out of bed and is eating and drinking well, she's sorer than the mastectomy last year, and the she-devil has been speculating about me to my dad, I had a funny turn in her room at hospital, the temperature is at 27 due to the skin graft and it was unbearable, I went a bit faint, then I went to drive through Costa to get her a coffee and picked my self up a peppermint tea, as my stomach was flip flopping and she asked my dad to ask if I was pregnant, I suppose a mother and ex midwife might be able to tell pretty early.
BTW I was on Cerrazette for years and reckon that may be contributing to my difficulties.

grace glad to hear your mum is doing well. As for you, well, that all sounds promising....although I know how tricky symptoms can be. How many days post ov are you....poas maybe?!

beaky I echo graces comments on redundancy and hope that this offers new opportunities. I got made redundant a few years ago when living overseas, and had to come back to England at very short notice, and move in with my mum as I had no job and no money and it was the height of the global recession. I thought my world was going to end! It didn't and I've never looked back!

Yes it is hard to give them back chloe. This little boy is a total love sponge! Just wants to be close and be fussed. I find that being busy with a new dog is such a great distraction from everything else, they need love and training so you can really focus on them. The aim is to socialise them as much as possible ready for their forever home.

rain I think wild gives good advice. Certainly made me chuckle anyway!

wild cats just do their own thing don't they. Cheeky little minx! I was always a cat person but my allergies are so bad now that I couldn't have one again.

Anyway, off for a nice long dog walk. Have a lovely day everyone x

Tiger love sponge is such a good description for a dog!
Grace I've just looked back and you must be 13dpo now, not tempted to POAS? I'm glad your mum's op went well.
I'm 6+1 now with all day nausea, which is reassuring but probably not helped by staying with my FIL who always cooks greasy asian food, so I'm looking forward to coming home today.

Ok so just POAS and got BFN but some research suggests that at 13 dpo not all women get a BFP and also it wasn't FMU so will try again tomorrow morning then if I get a BfN will book into my doctors to discuss what options I have.
Tiger absolutely adore "love sponge" that's how I would also describe my parents dogs!

It's a great phrase isn't it!

Sorry about the bfn grace, was it a first response? Fingers crossed for tomorrow for you. X

No tesco own brand, don't know how sensitive they are.

Hi everyone! Sorry that I've not been on. Nothing really to report so I'm just lurking.

Beaky, so sorry to hear about the cysts AND also about DH's job. It's really crap being made redundant, but it will work out in the end. I was made redundant just over 3.5 years ago and it was scary. I was out of work for 6 weeks, temped for nearly 5 months then landed the job I have now. I love my current job and it's much better than the one I lost. You will get there on both fronts x

Lol at yoga twats!

I'm still taking the progynova and have just started taking the cyclogest today. So another 14 days and I can stop both for a bleed and crossy fingers that Cyril has done one! So just over two weeks and I may be able to start! Hurrah!

Hi all! Just coming out of lurking briefly to say hi.

Beaky so sorry about DH. I worked a series of temporary contracts at one point and I remember that awful gutting feeling. I guess all you can do is put money away as much as poss, and hey, if you do get diffed on the next go, he can become a SAHD!

Rain the baster comes highly recommended! Seriously if you think shafting on cushions is romantic, try injecting yourself with a syringe of jizz and then silently getting yourself off whilst DH sneaks off for a shower. It's all moonbeams and roses!

Kitten sorry about the bleeding BUT it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. I had it, enough that they referred me to EPU but so far (touch wood) it hasn't meant anything bad.

Can't scroll back to see who it was, but thanks to whoever asked - yes all fine, 17w tomorrow and so far all seems okay.

*shagging on cushions. For some reason shafting also works but sounds more filthy

rp you will never be able to tell your dino about their conception with a description like that! Shafting had me giggling! not that any kid/person wants to know about their conception

Terrible morning so far. One of the places I work called early on to check if I was due in, they were expecting me. Erm - well you should book me if you want me.

Then the boss rang to double-check on what had happened and that really put me in a bad mood. He is the world's most guilty in terms of 'you haven't got children so you wouldn't understand' and 'being a parent makes you a better person'. It must have started at a pretty low base with him though because he's still a tosser after having two.

Also he has gossiped before about other people who don't have children and why, so I'm pretty sure he's done the same about me. It makes me wish bad things upon him.

Then my DH got indignant on my behalf about how much this job has been dicking me around recently. Which it has, because it can and there is little I can do. So DH suggested I raise that issue with them this week. I realised that I will struggle to have a calm conversation about it because I am so angry about all the 'no children' comments etc by this boss. Sigh!

On top of that, a close friend told me on Saturday that she is pregnant with her second. She is one who is majorly guilty of 'mommyjacking' every single conversation; 'I don't have time to sip water because I'm just so busy with DD'.

Despite the fact that she has turned into a moany, entitled, self-focused person I was glad that I did actually feel happy at her news.

Thank you Berries! I really needed to get that off my chest.

RP did you actually conceive dino with the basting technique? (Impressed).

Wild your boss sounds like a right arse. I agree with your dh but understand these conversations are difficult to have. Loved your advice to Rain though Re your preggo friend, good that you are happy for her! I also have a couple if friends who make everything about them and their dc's, which sometimes really pees me off. One one we arranged an adults afternoon country pub meal and catch up and one of them insisted in bringing their 2 kids (for no reason) so of course others then did, and we could not have a conversation for them all dunking riot in this posho country pub. The other customers were not so impressed either.

Grace did you poas again yet?

Tiger give the love sponge a cuddle from me!

Lady yey to nausea - being a good sign and all but boo and hope it's manageable. Did you have a lovely holiday?

Jellie hope Cyril does one in time to start treatment soon.

kitten how are you?

RP loved "shafting" haha. I think my dh would love to be a sahd! 17 weeks has flown by! Are you going to find out the sex at your 20w scan? Glad your doing well though.

Thanks everyone for your support, you're all totally right of course and it will work out, it has to! It's much appreciated though.

Wild he sounds like a complete arse! Well I POAS and .... BFN so will be going to docs I reckon with my irregular cycles they will probably try me on Clomid first what should i be aware of berries?

Boo to the BFN Grace. The GP probably won't prescribe clomid, that's done by the fertility clinic. The first stage will probably be blood tests, semen analysis and referral to FC.
Beaky my holiday was OK, thanks, but good to be home. Just bought some travel sickness acupressure bands which seem to be helping.

Urgh wild your boss sounds like a w@nker! Don't let them grind you down. Mommy-jacking is a great phrase, my boss is always doing it....I have heard the same stories about her kids over and over again until I'm ready to scream!

Sorry to hear that it's bfn grace. GP should, as lady says, book you in for day 3/21 bloods (although might not be day 21 if you have irregular cycles) and get you referred to the FC.

Hope you're feeling better beaky. I really do believe that things will work out for you.

jellie here's hoping that the cyst goes and does one!

rp hello! 17 weeks, that's flown by! Glad all is well. Shafting

I can feel the pre af sadness kicking in. Since we started ttc and watching all signs, I have noticed that without fail I feel tearful around 9-10dpo and then af arrives around 13-14dpo. Ah well, holidays in less than two weeks, and a busy time before and after so no time to wallow in gloom! Also have a follow up appt at the FC. Not sure what they are going to say though. As far as I can tell, next step is ivf but I have to wait a further year until I qualify.

The little love sponge is back at the kennels . I particularly fell for this one so it was hard to return him!

Hope everyone is having a good bank holiday. The terrible weather means we are doing some long put-off DIY jobs, finally!

Really sorry about your boss, wild. what an absolute douchebag. so many of them out there, how on earth do they survive?

beaky sorry about dh too. When will it all happen? v stressful and upsetting. I've also had 0-hours contracts, short term contracts etc so i know how you must be feeling.

shafting eh, RP? the pros are back to show us how it's done...:) hoep all is going smoothly with dino so far.

Sorry you're feeling down tiger. rain isn't helping i imagine. Feeling crappy too so we can be grumpy in company at least.

Pretty sure af is heading over this evening. last round of clomid didn't work, then :( what a waste of time. Now just staring into the future where a year + awaits. bloody brilliant.

Arr, what a sweet little love sponge tiger Is your next holiday the Mauritius one or have I got you mixed up?

I hate people that are all about their children. I mean, yes, children are important and mean the world to you but I don't think you should sacrifice all of your self to them and fit absolutely everything around them. Your friends at the country pub sound v annoying beaky. Still, maybe we just don't get it as we are childless but tbh I'd bloody love to have a little break from my kids in a nice country pub!!

Had a really busy w/e. Friends down with their 7 year old, cider festival on Saturday and bike ride and birthday BBQ on Sunday. It's amazing how much washing up is generated by having 3 more people in the house! Think I've washed up at least 3 times, including greasy BBQ plates-they're the worst! Still had lots of fun. Did tell our friends about the miscarriage. She was great about it and we had a long chat in a field drinking cider and a hug! I then plucked up the courage to tell another friend who was there that I know has had 2 mmc before & in between her 3 kids. I know it sounds silly to say it but I feel a bit 'short-changed' by the exchange. She said she was sorry to hear that and asked did I have to take medical management and how she hated going to the hospital for hers but that was it. Now, admittedly we're not that close and her baby was with her so distracting her but I think I was hoping for some words of encouragement or a little nugget of something that would help. Perhaps I was expecting too much, perhaps she doesn't like talking about it. I think now though I'm done with telling people other than my boss as we have a clinic appt to discuss it in school hours.

It's been a bit of an emotional few days before the w/e. The meltdowns at small bits of adversity ratcheted up- and I had a morning where I just cried, really sobbed. Went to the doctors about something else on the same morning and he asked me how I was and I just burst into tears, he was really lovely, said I should let it out and also perhaps to tell a few people at work so they can support me. He thought perhaps going back to work would help. Anyway, for the rest of that morning I let myself have a good old wail and felt quite wobbly for the rest of the day. Since then, what with our busy w/e and socialising I do feel better. I feel a bit more balanced, hopefully I can keep my calm and not let silly things upset me.

Today I have been child jacked, if that's the right term with a text conversation with my cousin who's just had a new born. I social bombed her with a pic of me and dh living it up at the cider festival. She put in a text that the baba has them both wrecked but it's so worth it... Thanks for that. ( she doesn't know unless my mum's told her)

Having a slow day today just vegging out. Both dh and I swore at clear blue ad and annoying pregnacare one. Just had that awful sma ' my love has one beginning, my love has no end' one on too so said change channel quickly, which then changed to holly oaks story about having my baby- FFS throw me a fricking bone here!! Also on way home from festival some random girl that I haven't seen in years was grilling me and wanted to know whether we had any kids- fuck off!! And breathe!!! Sorry about that!!

Sorry nolly. Crap isn't it but perhaps you might get a sought after natural bfp!! I'm still flipping bleeding, really heavily now. Hopefully that's a good sign. Can't wait til I don't have to wear sanitary towels.

Off on a spa day tomorrow, will have to be tampons. I am going to roast my ass off in the jacuzzi and have a massive latte or wine in a up yours salute!

I think the bad weather has necessitated getting lots off chests on here today, thank goodness we have each other to rant to. Sending all who need them positive berry vibes and hugs.

We had bro, sil, niece (4) and nephew (2) here for most of the weekend and spent all of Saturday at Peppa Pig World . All I saw were kids, toddlers, babies and bumps. Thankfully dh and I got an hour or so together walking around their nice gardens pushing my sleeping nephew on his nap. Haven't got out of pjs today and have spent the day loafing on the sofa with dh catching up on TV. Glad it is a four day week. Hope it goes quickly for everyone (but slowly and enjoyable for the teacher berries )

Bushy sorry to hear you're still bleeding :( but full steam ahead on the ass-roasting front!

Marmalade we think so. We dtd once about three days before OV that month and basted 48 and 24 hours before OV so likely to have been that. We think in retrospect our issues were a combo of too-short LP which I used to get every other month (short and long cycles alternating) and mechanics, as I have an odd cervix and DH has ED so we think the sperm wasn't getting to where it needed to, and if it did by some chance, half the time it couldn't implant due to LP. Basting made it more accurate for us.

Beaky yes we will. Taking it one day at a time still but assuming we do have a successful outcome, we may as well know!

Chloe, how are you? Kitten?

beaky hope you two are doing okay honey.
lady how are you feeling?
rp I'm doing okay thanks love. No more blood since Friday night so fingers crossed that it was just a bit of spotting. Could do without scares like that! Jeez, trying to google the address to the field and describe our tent location for nhs direct "in case an ambulance is needed" was pretty cruddy.
I'm 6+3 and basically shattered with acid in my throat all the time and regular nausea. Think I might try sleeping in a sports bra - I'm an e cup and the girls are frigging sore, managed to wake myself up about 5 today after rolling over on one, grrrr!!
Husby pissed me off a bit yday. We'd had a two hour drive back in traffic, dropped a mate off, and then nipped to SIL's house to drop our rainy tent off to his folks to air in their garden (we live in a flat). I told him i was feeling shitty so wasn't getting out the car but then he decided he wanted hugs with the nephews etc, so then there were four folks and two littlies all at the car window asking how I was, did I have a good weekend, did we want a brew etc, whilst I sat there caked in mud and swallowing the sick in my mouth. Ffs

Kitten I'm 6+3 as well. Are you going to join the chopper thread?