The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Jellie you absolutely need to let it all out. That's what berries are all about. Allow yourself the time you need...and keep talking to Mr jellie too. DH and I realised we focus so much on 'process' that we don't really talk about how we feel about everything. So we're working on that.
Bushy when I'm stressed and anxious I wake up in the night too. I have a kindle as gill suggested so can read without disturbing DH. Particularly bad the last couple of weeks waking up at 3.30 and don't seem to be able to get back to sleep until just before the alarm goes off... Hardly surprising the sleep issues when you think about what we're all going through.
Lumen have a great time in Germany...where you going?
Tiger had a good chat with my colleague about how she brought it up at work and decided I'm going to tell my boss lady nr end of month when it comes to starting drugs. Did you tell the team you are off?
How did they take it?
Beaky I hate the feeling of everything being on hold. I have tried so hard to keep occupied with work and diy but ttc is constantly a case of counting down the days. No matter whether it be waiting for tests/appointments or cycle days. Terrible!

We got the results today...they confirmed we have swimmers for 2-4 icsi attempts!! Woo hoo! DH is properly over the moon, he even had a beer (he never drinks). So it's a massive relief. I have a blood test result to come back in a week to check my blood cell count isn't anything odd (it's high). And then all being well we'll get drugs and be off in couple of weeks! Nervous...

Fab news on Mr Pixie's swimmers. You must thrilled. If this were the krypton Factor assault course that would be the rope swing over the water completed.

Feeling fine after the polyp removal and it looks like AF is on her way. Will hopefully be able to ring FC tomorrow to get booked in again for treatment.

Sad to report a BFN in the Happy household this morning Think it's safe to say the eagerly anticipated September clusterdiff has been an epic fail. Hope everyone else is doing ok x

Massive hugs to you Happy so sorry it wasn't the right result for you and also the start of the clusterdiff. And yes, what an absolute massive fail on the cluster diff this time. for everyone.

Jellie how are you feeling today?

Pixie excellent news on the swimmers there, fx you, lumen Gill and Smidge can start a cluster diff soon!

Gill AF Pom Poms are still on the go over here for you! Fx you can get started soon.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend and to all.

Really sorry to hear your news Happy, hope you are doing ok and tucking into / / anything else which takes your fancy. Onwards and upwards for us all.

Sorry to hear your news happy. I hope you're coping ok (though completely understandable if not just yet. I'm glad you have the weekend together though - getting a bfn on your own on a weekday is just the worst)

Good luck to Gil on AF's arrival. And well done Mr Pixie on the swimmers!

Thanks wild that would be useful. You've reminded me that my mother also has a dodgy thyroid, but as far as I know my tests for that came back ok. But I might query that with my Dr when I next see her.

AFM this morning was 5th day of lucrin injections. So far so good. Due my lap tomorrow (awaiting news on exact timings and when I must stop eating etc, but )the suggestion is I need to be there around 6am. Crikey. They might not need any anaesthetic, I'll be so sleepy . Getting my usual p-m signs too so I would think AF should come a day or so after the lap. Think it'll be a bit early for me this month (I did a dual hormone OPK and it peaked much sooner than I expected - though I don't actually trust it as much as the basic LH versions tbh) .

We're off out to a surprise 40th party this afternoon. Weather is looking lovely and it's at a pub on the water's edge so that'll be great. Only disappointed that I won't be on the booze (being careful before the anaesthesia tomorrow). Hey go, will make logistics easier as I can drive!

Hope all other berries are having a good weekend.

Happy sorry to hear your news. Were you testing early? If so will you be testing again to be sure or just wait for witch to rock up? Hope you get comfort you need to cope. How's Mr H taking it?
Smidge hope lap goes to plan. Will they let you know straight away how it went? How was the party?
Gill loved krypton factor! at rope swing. Hope AF hurries up for you.

Hello there, so sorry to hear it didn't work happy but hey,maybe we'll all be second timers! My nurse did say it was extremely unlikely to get a bfp first time round and that they tend to use it as a fact finding mission.

pixie glad it's not just me with the waking up in the night. It has got particularly bad this past week or so. At half past four in morning on Thursday I snapped and sent dh to the other room!! Since then I've made sure to get outside and get daylight as I read that to sleep well your body needs as much natural daylight as possible so it can tell the difference between night and day ( although this is harder in the week).I've bought myself a book light to clip onto book and some nytol. Slept through from 12 ish til 7am this morning, first time I haven't woken in night. Did take the nytol so must have helped. Anyway, thanks for all of your advice guys, I do feel better about it. With the hypno tracks is there anything you can recommend or where to look? I could do a google.

Know exactly what you mean about things being on hold. My dh said the other day that he had put the mmc away in a box and dies not want to open it up again. I think ttc for him is also not in the foreground either but for me it is always festering round in the background. When I get upset I think is this the mmc or pmt/hormones rearing up. When I get twinges in my abdomen I think is it af revving up or could I be pg etc. I suppose being on here will always make us think about it too but I do like catching up and sharing with you guys. I am currently waiting on af then have to get blood tests done between day 1 and 5.

Fab news with your crypton factor swimmers too!!

Hi wild. Hope you had a nice time at party smidge.

Good luck for your lap Smidge hope it goes well.

Happy thinking of you today, hugs.

I'm im off to a christening for accidental instadiffers baby. Woohoo

Thanks for all the good luck messages. In bed now, trying not to reach for the glass of water as I'm nil by mouth til after the lap.

Party was lovely. Was at a pub by the water's edge and beautiful sunny day. The birthday boy had no idea we were all going to be there and was thrilled. We couldn't think of an original gift and didn't make it to the shops so lifted a vino from our collection gave him a fancy bottle of wine which we bought ages ago on a wine tour. It's not supposed to be drunk until at least 2018 though so it's more of a 45th present really!

I'm going to poas tomorrow morning, just to be sure the lap won't dislodge an as yet unknown FUFC. Bit pointless as I do have usual p-m signs but nonetheless... It's probably a good 5 days before AF is due though, so I'm not sure it could actually detect anything. But the comment about a cardboard/paper bed pan thing (who mentioned that?) at the clinic made me think an at home pee stick would be just as effective! (And less embarrassing)

Hope you're holding up ok happy I'm just so sorry it didn't work for you. xx

wild sounds like you have a good plan and a consultant you can trust. Getting ever closer.

That is great news on the swimmers pixie, exciting that you are only a couple of weeks away from getting started! Yep, told the team and they were shocked. My young'uns were definitely worried about the prospect of me leaving! I think they were all expecting the news to be that I was pg!! I have been feeling a lot better about life recently, a combination of new job prospects, holidays and putting ttc to one side slightly. Before that I felt like I was just watching my life go by from the sidelines but not really taking part.

beaky you are so right about channelling your inner man. I did so by negotiating for a higher salary than initially offered and was quite proud of myself. Well timed for the hoo-ha over the CEO of Microsoft saying women shouldn't ask for payrises! That was a load of bull! Enjoy the christening but grr to instadiffers!

gill I loved your krypton factor analogy, made me chuckle. Hope af arrives for you soon so that you can get underway.

smidge enjoy your day today and good luck for the lap tomorrow. I didn't find mine too bad apart from feeling a bit sickly due to the ga. Hope you have some recovery time planned. I had two days on the sofa with duvet afterwards, which I definitely needed!

bushy check out catching rainbows for a free download. Or check out some free apps if you have an iPhone/iPad.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. We've just waved off one set of parents and a couple of hours until the next visitors so need to straighten up the house and decide what to make for desert tonight. Flourless chocolate cake or crumble maybe mmmmm!

X post smidge. Glad you had a good day. Keep forgetting you're in oz and wondered why you were going to bed at lunchtime!

At my FC you pee in the cardboard thing and leave it in a shelf in the loo so no wee handover. They'll test you anyway I would have thought, but I did one at home too so that I could see for myself. Hope it all goes well.

Grrr to accidental instadiffer christening beaky. I went to Zumba this morning & then popped to supermarket where I met an old governor from my school who I haven't seen in years. Did the usual small talk and got asked children? No just the two of us. Couldn't really think of any other riposte, didn't really want to say we were trying or our troubles or make up some untruth about happy as we are/ one day crap. What are your responses when asked the dreaded question?

Cheers tiger for the chasing rainbows tip! I will check it out. Go you with channeling the inner man & getting the pay rise. I think I will channel inner man. We have twilight training on new online assessment tomorrow which I am a bit anxious but bugger it man bushy would have no truck with that, he'd just have a go!!

smidge was me who mentioned the cardboard bed pan but like tiger you wee in it and keVe it in the loo for the nurse to collect so not that embarrassing really. Hope it all goes well with lap tomorrow. Get yourself a little besting station set up in lounge with all things close to hand for recovery. I found I was really cold the evening after lap but maybe in oz you won't have this problem. I found getting up and down sore as the stitches in my middle really pulled.

Good luck with the lap Smidge. It definitely took a few hours to recover from the GA afterwards. Last year when I had my first polyp op, I wolfed down a sandwich pretty soon after. This time it was a mouthful of yogurt every 10 mins. Sure you'll be fine though. Take it easy.

Happy - sorry to hear your news, hope you're okay hun. I think we should rename it Shitember!

Smidge! Eeeeek his luck for tomorrow!

Pixie - well done on Mr Pixies swimmers! How long till you start?

Bushy, i just googled for the hypno tracks on my app store. Mine were free ones I and I bought the Zita West one which is specifically for ivf.I think it's very easy fur men to compartmentalise TTC. Its not then that have periods, signs symptoms hormones swimming about, examinations blood tests etc etc. It must be nice swanning about thinking if one thing at a time!

I got very drink last night! I've been hanging today, napping on the sofa and watching a cartoon movie a monster in Paris. I'm also knitting for my friend (due in December). She had ivf out in Prague at the same time as my first go. Its quite a distraction even though it IS baby stuff. I'm still very much a novice knitter so I'm learning lots of new techniques [grin . Feeling much better in myself though. Thanks lovely berries

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better Jellie and how sweet of you with the baby knitting! Must be hard though.

bushy I have a great relaxation hypno one - I can try and email you it if you wanted to pm me an email address but otherwise I would echo the catching rainbows one.

I'm loving that you all love the channeling of all of the inner man, Man Bushy made me smile too! Tiger well done on the pay negotiation! I'm inspired to channel man beaky and ask for one as my year end figures were 80% over target also it says a lot about you Tiger that your team obviously think really well of you.

Gil any sign of AF?

Smidge hoping for a swift recovery for you as well.

A shocking Jeremy Kyle day in the family today. All very crazy. Combined with call from my nurse with an update on my appt dates it's been a rather emotional day. She said she's getting drugs ordered as I will start sniffing in 2 wks as long as my blood test comes back ok at the end of the week. Shall share more on family saga when I have bit more time/head space.

Pixie sorry to hear you have family drama, bloomin' exhausting that sort of thing. Hope you are generally ok. Great news on your DH's swimmers btw.

smidge hope the lap goes/ has gone ok. I will put up some immune links for you when I am on the proper computer rather than the tablet. That way you can have some reading material for your recovery time

Tiger you are a saint with all the parent entertaining. No way could I do back to back visits. And kudos on the pay negotiation, shy girls get nowt.

(....wanders off to get in touch with inner man)

Hi there, well I am lying in bed (yes, Aussie timezone ) after having my lap this morning. Not sure if I'll ever get to sleep though as I've spent most of the day dozing.

I have my post op debrief in a week, but AliG did speak to us after the op and said that there was virtually no endometriosis - tubes, ovaries and uterus clear. They found and treated a small bit on the outside of the uterus in the most common place to get it, but basically it didn't sound as if she thought it had any bearing on our issues to conceive, and thus has said to continue with the plan of IVF. Had 6 days of lucrin injections so far (and been pretty easy actually, only one small bruise). Reckon I'll be doing the next few in my thighs rather than tummy though after the lap. They used proper stitches (I was hoping for the ones that dissolve) so I have to get them removed in 5-7 days (which I'm not really looking forward to tbh, the thought makes me squirm!)

Blood test on weds to see when I can start the FSH, but I wouldn't think it will be before the weekend as AF isn't due til Fri/Sat. Talking of which, I did my own pregnancy test this morning and it was negative. Then at the clinic AliG claimed she'd told me we shouldn't have unprotected sex this month (no way did she do that, I am 100% certain. 100% I tell you! In fact our conversation went along the lines that we could, because based on the dates she would just get me tested before the lap - and surely the only reason she'd do that is because we had had unprotected sex?). Anyway, I felt rather put out and very embarrassed at the same time, but I did a pee test for them too and it was also negative - and thankfully I don't think she took it out on me when I was on the table . Hope it wasn't too soon to show though, that would just be Sod's law wouldn't it!

She did an endo scratch and sent off some tissue to be tested for some sort of immune issues (yay) so we'll see what that comes back with next week. So any links on the subject would be appreciated wild thankyou - I was a bit woosy still to ask for any detail at the time.

Right. Better try to get some proper sleep. Hope you all have a good Monday.

Very sorry to read your news happy. Thinking of you and sending all the berries strength at this shitty time. smidge good to hear your lap went ok. beaky I'm fine, thanks for asking. Hope you are ok. X

Pixie hope everything is ok with you family. Fx for blood tests being ok for you to start.

How are you feeling Wild?

smidge glad the lap went well and will be sending positive berry vibes for this round of IVF.

Good to hear from you Feather and that everything is going well

I'm thinking of getting a catching rainbows plan, I was going to before but didn't in the end. Any of you berries who have one, do you think it was worth it?

Hope Monday has been kind to everyone!

beaky I had one done and can't recommend it highly enough. Lucy is lovely and really insightful. Same with the meditation mp3s on the website. x

I would agree with feather and say that the catching rainbows plan was worth it beaky (although obviously not pg, yet!) I have also emailed her asking for advice since and she has been really helpful. Am just revisiting my plan and starting to follow the advice again after a bit if time off from all things ttc.

smidge glad to hear that the lap went well and to the conflicting advice. Good news that there was only a teeny amount of endo and that you can carry on with your plans. I found that the stitches got really annoying, having them out was satisfying and not at all painful or weird.

pixie hope the family dramas have calmed down and that you're ok.

Not much to report here. Early night required as I'm knackered!

Link for smidge immune system some docs don't believe in this immune stuff and think the treatment is hooey. Others say while there has never been a large scale double-blind study they have good results with it. You literally pays your money and you makes your choice.

I'm feeling fine actually - I really credit the meditation tracks with being a big help to me.

Hello to everyone - and lovely to hear form Feather that things are going well. You deserve it, lovely.

'Remember you're a Womble' is playing downstairs so I must go.

Thanks wild that should keep me busy.
Mind is boggling at reasons for 'remember you're a womble' being played downstairs, and why that means you must go... [amused confused smiley]

tiger thanks for the reassurance on having the stitches removed, that's helped put my mind at rest massively. It's so often the anticipation that's worse than reality.