The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Oh and congrats to bunny on the arrival of her baby boy. Another berry baby to prove to us all that it does happen.

I think long v short protocol is based on the results of tests and age is also taken into account. From my experience the older ladies tend to end up on short. I managed 12 eggs giving 6 embies so not too bad.

With regards to telling work, I told my boss who was lovely and a couple of my immediate work colleagues who were also very supportive. I guess it all depends on the job and who you work with.

Things sound much more positive for you Pixie, fingers crossed for some quality swimmers.

Good luck with the stabbing Smidge.

AFM, I had 2 polyps removed on Monday under a GA. Feeling fine in terms of recovering from the op but going to work from home today due to a stinking cold. Just have to wait for AF to show to see how and when we approach the next FET.

Jellie def all round! Sorry it didn't work this time. Do you know what your next steps will be? Another cycle? Were you unexplained - if you don't mind me asking. Eeww to sending AF in a pot to Greece!

Thanks Pixie from what I've read on the protocols now I think I'll be long because of cysts etc. when will you find out re swimmers? Fx they are nippy little things I really don't know what to do re telling the boss, I don't want anyone else to know other than him but his thoughts on pregnancy and maternity are clear! Eep.

Smidge thanks, you're right, it will fly here. Hooray to your good blood results and first jab!

Gill glad the polyps are sorted and fx AF arrives ASAP so you can crack on.

Lumen I'm taking q10 too (on the basis of you ladies recommending it!).
Gill pleased to hear about op and hope that AF hurries up. When's she due? Sounds like you got a good crop...it's quality ok? how many will they pop back in?
Yay for bunny! Brilliant news and as you say lumen encouraging for us lot who feels like it's a distant dream...
I think I will tell work about it...whilst I do have hols I'm not sure I can face the 'Doing anything nice' questions. It's just not the easiest thing to bring up in normal work discussions is it?! My colleague did though so shall have a chat with her on how she approached it (she's on Mat leave now!)

Hello lovely Berries I've been taking a mini-break from TTC things for the last few days and haven't even phoned the FC with our BFN result! They will give us an appointment to discuss next steps and I wanted a bit of time when I didn't have to think about fertility too much make any decisions or face up to the fact there will be more drugs/appointments and general fannying about in the future. Boo.

Instead, I've had a couple of G&Ts and spent time at home sorting out old clothes for charity and getting organised. Doing stuff like that is very grounding, I find.

Smidge your bid to make TTC issues less taboo is admirable. You are doing good worth with that. I confess that I have told no one in real life, although I think people realise that we would like a baby but don't have one. Luckily, being freelance means that I can mostly arrange my working hours to suit clinic times so I don't have to tell work anything.

Gillster woohoo on your polyp-free state. Can't wait for you to get going, I'm really excited for you. How does it work with FETs? Do you take any drugs?

Heavens lumen you are like some kind of paragon of tough living; marathon commute, no caffeine, and nettle tea sounds yuk. What does it actually taste like? Berkshire is nice, I had a boyfriend from round that way many moons ago.

Waves to Jellie and Beaky - hope you girls are doing ok.

Bushy you are very kind to your PND friend and everyone is right to tell you to take care of you too and not let her problems become your problems; boundaries, darling.

Tiger congrats on the job! . And good to hear of Berry graduate babies, well done bunny!

Well done wild on managing (mostly) to put all things ttc out of your mind for a few days. No mean feat (yet, I think, essential). I hope you enjoyed the time with your child hating friend! She sounds fab and exactly what was needed.

Gill I'm glad your op went well. Will you be able to start as soon as AF arrives do you think? I'm wondering if like with endom and cyst removals they want to start straight away, to avoid risk of their return (as opposed to my initial wussy assumption that a couple of months might be needed to recover...!)

Just a quick check in to say I'm still here and hope everyone is ok. Jellie Wild and Beaky been thinking of you all. Work has been crazy so haven't had chance to post but been keeping a close eye in goings on!
Still ploughing through the 2ww. In to the home straight now. OTD is Sunday. Not holding out much hope. Had loads of cramping/twinges last week but they completely disappeared a few days ago. Feeling completely normal now

Happy I was just thinking of you and wondering how you were getting on! Are you holding out to poas on Sunday then? I'm crossing everything for you, someone needs a bfp soon! It would cheer me up for sure

Wild I do like your mini break idea, hope you're feeling ok. Do you know if you will do another iui? Ignore this question if you don't want to chat about it yet I totally agree about the having to think about more appointments, injecting, time off etc being such a drain and I've been thinking of having this cycle off to focus on things. You end up with so much going around your head eh!

How's everyone else? Tiger have you given in your notice yet?

hello y'all.

happy no symptoms are just as valid as having a load of symptoms so don't give up hope! Will be keeping everything crossed for you. Nearly there.

wild break is a good idea I reckon. Take some time out for yourself. . You do sound like you are managing this very well.

beaky tomorrow I'll tell my boss, but will hand in my formal notice once I have an offer letter and everything is confirmed as being ok. Hopefully start in January.

lumen I wish I had your discipline. I don't really drink caffeine (love peppermint and nettle tea) but even though I have cut down a lot, I do love a glass of wine or two.

bushy yep just vanilla essence and cinnamon and nutmeg from the spice rack. I think a posh version might have cinnamon sticks and vanilla pods! I also sneak in half a teaspoon of sugar which makes it very nice indeed! I have a very sweet tooth though. Just cooking some up now

gill glad the op went well. Another step closer.

pixie you could just say you are having a gynaecology procedure and be non specific? I have actually told my current boss that I am on the IVF waiting list, but not sure how I'll manage it in the new job.

Still battling with boiler issues today. The heating now doesn't want to work . It is currently f'ing freezing, and I am supposed to be writing a presentation for tomorow . Instead I have just bled the radiators and repressurised the boiler (get me!) so fingers crossed it will work!

Had a nice acu sesion last night though. Am in the middle of shag week, and running out of steam somewhat! Have not been charting or really paying any attention to whether or not I am ovulating, really cannot find it in me to do all of that at the moment.

Tiger shag week will help keep you warm, surely! Is your new job as a boiler repair man? You sound very knowledgeable. I'm sure you will have it all working again in no time.

Thanks for saying I'm handling it well. I've surprised myself actually because I thought I'd be destroyed, but in fact I'm fairly sanguine. I think meditation has helped a lot. I did have a cry today about something unrelated, but maybe at another time it wouldn't have brought me to tears. Good to get it out though.

Happy it's probably a very good thing that you are very busy at work just now, tales your mind off the infamous 2ww. You are so nearly there now. About the symptoms/ no symptoms thing; I found it useful to keep telling myself that the only thing that would tell me for sure one way or the other was the test. See if that helps at all.

I'm glad you asked about another IUI Beaky, it's helped me clarify my thoughts. I'm going to ask the FC about doing the auto-immune tests as I feel convinced that is the problem. Then if they can treat that on an IUI cycle perhaps we will give it another go. Otherwise I think we'd be better going for IVF. We'll see what the consultant says, but that's my view of things for now.

Have just told my boss I'm accepting the job in London and she cried. I feel rotten!

Oh my word, she cried? OK, well that clearly means you are the best employee ever or your boss is really really lovely and thinks of you as way more than just a colleague. Either that or she just really hates interviewing! But don't feel rotten. You have to do what's right for you, and it's nice to know that you were appreciated you might even wangle a really good leaving gift

Aw tiger, that's sweet! Sure you feel crap for it but as smidge says, nice to know you're appreciated. A manager recently described a resignation from his team as being sacked by them. He took it really personally that they no longer wanted to work for him! Perhaps she's feeling a bit like that. But we need to do what's right for us so don't let it bring you down...onwards and upwards!

It all feels very real now that I have handed in my notice.

smidge I think it was mainly because they are losing me at the busiest time of the year! Although I do get on well with my boss and colleagues and I will be sad to leave.

pixie I do think it is the right move so onwards and upwards as you say! Did you decide what to do about telling work?

wild what makes you think that you have immune issues? Have you considered going to one of the clinics that specialises in that area?

How is everyone else? Seems quiet in here today. Almost the weekend

Hi tiger, that's nice re your boss. We're often much more appreciated and well thought of than we think.

I've been having trouble sleeping recently. I can usually get off to sleep but then wake up, need a wee and then can't get back to sleep. Last night I toughed it out in our bed but other nights I go to our spare bed. ( dh snores a bit so I'm lying there trying to sleep, poking him to stop snoring and the whole thing getting more tedious!) even the spare bed didn't work the other night. Sometimes get up and have milk and a biscuit and come back. Don't know if anyone has any tips? I normally try to read until I am sleepy and that helps to get off but when I've woken up and trying to get back to sleep reading with light on disturbs dh and I feel bad so hence uprooting to it her room. I'm wondering about trying nytol or something like that.

Despite feeling generally ok and more even, I had a bit of a wobble today. Was in a meeting and just felt really anxious about all the new things we have to do etc. This then lead on to a wobble about the usual things I worry about. Kept it together but came home and cried to dh. He says I need to keep it together and not panic but power through. He says everyone has things they feel like they're going to get caught out on and are unsure of and that I need to believe in myself. Sorry for the winge. Maybe it's Pmt!!

Aww tiger! I'm going with the you're a really good employee reason! Lots to look forward to now though. What happened with your dh's job?

Wild sounds like a good plan, I know you mentioned you thought you had immune issues previously, if you're private I'd say do get it checked out anyway, since you're paying for treatment I'd want to explore that first.

Jellie how are you? Have you thought of what you will do next?

pixie did you get the swimmers results yet?

bushy you could try meditation or hypnotherapy if you haven't already. Hypno nearly always world for me. Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight.

I really wish i could find a new a job dreading going back next week! Have any of you changed career entirely?

It's v quiet in here, hope everyone is ok!

Hey Bushy, sorry you felt a bit anxious today but I think your DH is talking sense. Try not to be too overwhelmed with things but break things down into achievable smaller packages if possible.

In terms of reading in bed and disturbing DH, do you put a bedside light on? If do, consider getting a kindle (if not already have one as the light from these is much less). I can also read my kindle on my mobile which emits even less light so doesn't tend to disturb DH. If you prefer to stay old school on the book front, then get one of those little book lights. A darker room when reading will probably help you get back to sleep too.

It sounds obvious but try not to drink too much after 7pm. I do most of my drinking before this time so only have a small glass of squash with dinner. This should minimise trips to the loo. Also not reading Mumsnet just before bed will probably help too. Maybe have a 9pm cut off so your mind is a bit calmer when you go to bed? Clearly I don't always practice what I preach

Dammit was doing super lovely long post damn tablet lost it. I will catch up tomorrow properly. I'm feeling really low. Started period properly today so I'm guessing that's why. I woke up crying yesterday after dreaming about my dad. I've only dreamed of him twice since he died fifteen years ago, and today I was nearly tipped over the edge at a pregnancy announcement. But of a weird one to be bothered about but it really spoiled my evening also a lady who had her donor ivf at the same time as my first ivf only has 9 weeks left of her pregnancy. That made me mist up too. I really hate feeling down and_snappy and hate feeling jealous/bitter/not happy for others. I would like to hibernate for a bit I think. . Glad it's Friday tomorrow

Oh jellie that is sad. I'm always in two minds about dreams of lost family members. I don't want not to dream about them as it always feels so real and it's so nice to see them/interact with them again (even if it's only in my head) IYSWIM, but then waking up can feel as though you're having to lose them again. . I think on balance I do prefer to have those dreams, but I completely understand how it can make you feel. Especially if pmt is involved.

wild - if you do have immune issues, what will/can they actually do about it? I'm interested as I rather think I must have similar issues, what with my family's history of various auto immune issues including: celiac, sjogrens syndrome, akylosing spondylitis, arthritis, plus some less severe - hay fever, skin irritations etc. However, none of my family have had any useful help regarding treatment of their various conditions (well, apart from avoiding gluten for the celiac) despite years of specialists, and I rather thought it was just tough luck. I believe endometriosis is more common in families with auto immune issues (my mother had it very severely) which is why I'm going for a lap on Monday, but apart from treating endom, do you know how else can they help? (I realise you haven't actually seen a specialist yet so may not know, but am presuming you must be more optimistic than me about potential for treatment, so keen to hear if there's anything I should do too).

btw, I noticed a mumsnet thread which says the site is going to be down most of the day on Saturday 11th (UK time). Just when we'll be wanting updates from happy as to whether she's P'd OAS a day early....

Thinking of you both jellie and bushy, am very glad you both have the support of the berries to help you get through the tough times.

I am off to Germany for a long weekend (at Stansted airport with most of the world now) so will be AWOL for the weekend. Best of luck happy, will be thinking of you. Hope everyone's Friday goes quickly and that you all have lovely weekends. See you next week x

Aw bushy waking up in the night and not getting back to sleep sucks. It regularly happens to me. Definitely avoid caffiene and eating too late. To get myself back to sleep I try and think of something really bland in order to distract myself otherwise I'll end up picking over a million issues, agonising about any problems and never dropping back off. gil gives good advice.

I think lack of sleep can really affect your ability to cope. And the wobbles are perfectly normal. I'm excited now that I've got this new job, but in reckon I'll be bricking it in a few weeks. I get terrible imposter syndrome, thinking that I won't be able to live up to expectations.

beaky dh is still looking for a job. There aren't many around, even in London but I'm sure he will find something. Changing career can be tough but it certainly can be done, I would start by sketching out a plan of how to do it, and also try and find someone you know in the new career that might be able to give you advice.

jellie sorry to hear that you are feeling low, sometimes things can get to us more than they might usually. If it is any consolation, I am a mess every month when af arrives, a killer combo of disappointment and hormones. Sending you a big virtual hug.

smidge I have Coeliacs in the family but don't suffer from anything myself that I know of. I had a lap to rule out endo and they didn't find anything so I felt much more reassured after that.

lumen enjoy Germany! Hope you have a great weekend!

Friday, phew! Telling my team I'm leaving today. A big step, there is no going back now!

Hope everyone is ok. X

Just dropping in to say hello and sorry for those that got bfns this month. Thinking of you all and willing you on for the next round.

happy sending full Berrie power for your test this weekend. Will be lurking and wishing and hoping for good news.

to you all. Xxx

Aw Jellie sending hugs your way and and dreams like that always kill me and I wake up in absolute floods. You've had a really tough time lately so don't be hard on yourself about any of this, and it's fine to feel down about the others who are pg. Def take some time out to yourself. I recommend Christmas films....

Lumen have a lovely time in Germany! I went last year and loved it.

Smidge I can't believe mn is going to be down, how inconvenient!

Happy how are you doing?

Tiger thanks for that, I'm definitely going to try and do a plan for it so it's more clear in my mind. Fx your dh finds something soon. Good luck for telling your team! Don't forget - when you feel anxious about whether you can do a job, channel your inner man for blind confidence in any situation! We doubt ourselves much more than they do and unnecessarily so.

Hi Feather how are you? Hope everything's going well.

I had an unexpected little cry on dh this morning, over nothing really. I had just been feeling really down about everything over the past couple of days, especially putting my life on hold for something which isn't happening and ending up nowhere I want to be, if that makes sense.

Hey ladies sorry for yesterday's pity party. It is nice to get it out though.

Tiger - omgee at your boss crying! Deffo take that as a compliment!

Bushy have you tried ant hypno/relaxation tracks that you can listen to with headphones on your phone? I find im never able to listen to a whole one as in knocked out after a bit. Even If I wake up after i m soooooooo relaxed after I slip back to sleep easily!

Gillster - how are you? Hope you're recovering from being de-polyped!

Nolly, smidge, lumen, happy, beaky, wild and Beaky ) and all berries I've Missed out,). Hope you've had a good weekend and are gearing up fur a good weekend

To those discussing supplements! I'm soooooooo happy to not be taking any! Hurrah! Together with my iron tablets and arthritis meds I was taking 13 tablets in the morning! It seems like luxury to only have 5!

I told my manager at work! I'm no good at not being completely truthful and with scans every other day (making me late by 2 hours min) I couldn't have got away with it and to be fair he's. been so supportive. Just great. Even this week he didn't expect me in on Monday.

Anyway thanks ladies for your support. Still feeling low but not as bad. Just got to ride it out. No good comes from bottling it up I guess. I'm normally a brave face on it type, so like I say it's nice to talk to you guys!

Ooh, I'm shattered tonight. Thank goodness it's Friday and I can have a nice lie in tomorrow.

smidge there is a history of auto-immune issues in my family too and I have Hashimoto's / underactive thyroid. My FC said that in the light of that it would definitely be worth doing the fertility immune tests before any IVF.

As far as treating it goes they use a low dose of steroids to suppress the immune system and there are some other drugs they can use too, one is called Humira and is usually prescribed for rheumatoid arthritis. The clinic I'm with don't use the Humira though, as far as I know. There is some disagreement among doctors about whether or not the immune tests and drugs work at all. But our consultant explained it and I have confidence in him.

I'll look out some links for you smidge.

tiger sweet that your boss cried. Onward and upward for you now, my dear.

jellie , beaky and bushy - sorry to hear you are going through down times. beaky is right when she says that you've been through a lot and should go easy.

beaky I love your advice on channeling your inner man. I am so going to do that.

bushy hypno CDs can be good for sleeping, I've tried fertility ones and dropped off before the end, goodness only knows how effective the actual sleep tracks must be.

I have to go to sleep now, can't keep my eyes open. Goodnight all.