The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

hope you are ok beaky. Easy to say but hard to do, but try not to worry and distract yourself if at all possible. Hugs.

Ha lumen! Sometimes I have no idea what my tablet is trying to say! It should have said we've done. Stupid thing always puts dune instead of done and fur instead of for! Me not spotting it before posting I'll blame on the cider!

Hope everyone is doing ok today.

Sorry to hear about the spotting beaky hugs to you.

Good news on the swimmers pixie!

wild I'm glad that your dh is being lovely. I think ttc does bring people closer together but I do also feel the strain sometimes. Not with OH as such, but I just find myself feeling glum or angry and I'm sure I'm not easy to deal with in those moods, and that's when arguments happen. We've just has one today over some DIY. I fucking hate DIY!

Off to the in-laws for dinner, they'll hate that I've accepted this job in London, I'm sure of it. Might try and avoid the subject.

It's gone quiet in here. Hope you're all ok. I've gotten over my foul mood from yesterday, despite the gruesome weather. The inlaws were also quite lovely about the job so that was unfounded.

Hope Monday is bearable for all you lovely berries.

Really sorry to hear about the cluster of bfns. I hope the otdays mean you get a chance to talk about next steps with the consultants. It feels so much better when there's a new plan in place.

And time flies, as here I am due for my baseline blood test tomorrow morning for round 2. Hubby wants to be sure they check I'm not already pregnant (his optimism is sweet) though I don't think they're worried about that at this stage (think down reg drugs just stop you ovulating so no likely harm to an embryo if it was already there), but I do hope they'll check before my lap next week. (Though how sensitive are blood pregnancy tests anyway? It'll still be about 5 days before AF is due)

Love the secret merchant navy OH randomness btw. Really made me smile

Glad all went well tiger, I was thinking it was quiet too.

Best of luck tomorrow with your bloods smidge.

I had a 3 hour commute this morning due to a signalling issue at Slough and it still isn't fixed so the journey home isn't going to be much fun either.

Really sorry to read your news beaky, wild, lumen and jellie. Wine and cake for you all. Hope you didn't have too sad a weekend. I'm sure it feels tough at the moment but each time it happens, I try and remind myself that I'm one cycle closer... However unreal that feels I try and believe it, and I hope it is true for you all.

bushy very tough dealing with depression, and also with people with depression. I think it often manifests as lack of empathy and self-absorption, which can lower other people's interest and willingness to support, unfortunately. There's a lot of it in my family too. Even if she doesn't recognisie it now, have faith that there will be a moment where she sees what a great friend you are - and also that you are actually helping even if it's doesn't' seem that way.

wild your OH sounds awesome btw. I also love 'mad as a fish slice', never heard that one before.

pixie congrats on getting some active fellas out - what a great step forwards. my dh is very supportive and kind but woudl probably run a mile if I suggested counselling (he's very english abotu that kind of thing - and think's he's totally sane and well adjusted too. well, don't we all). As lumen and others have said, it has such a big effect on your relationship, but - silver lining - not all bad. We're much closer than we were and it's good to know you can get through the crappy times.

COngrats on the job tiger and welcome to the big smoke!

beaky what are you doign in the middle of the sea? gotta know...

gah. forgot most important bit - thanks for all the support and sharing after my wobble last week, berries. You keep me sane

Arrnolly think we keep each other sane on here!

I think you've hit on something there re depression. I work with a lady who's v sensitive and makes no attempt to hide her feelings if she's down. The rest of us think she doesn't really know what it's like to be depressed as lots of other people can be depressed but they try v hard to put a brave face on it. She's v me, me, me.

My dh is exactly the same re counselling. He's more of a lock it down and get on with it type. At one point I felt like I needed some but then I talked to some friends, cried a lot and then I found being back at work has helped too. I feel more 'normal' at the moment. I suppose I am talking about the mmc but I suppose it's also about the IVF not working.

Dh had a boys day and night out on Saturday, didn't come home til 4.30am!! We haven't dtd for 2 days so should really get one more in before things go quiet! It's a bit weird to think this cycle is the breather before it all starts again

lumen commute sounds poo!! Honestly, a bit of rain and it all goes to pot!! The roads were snarled up by us too.

smidge they got me to pee into one of those awful paper bed pan things so they could do a preg test before my lap. Felt quite embarrassed handing over the wee to the nurse!!

beaky sorry that af is here. Nice advice from smidge (was it ?) re being one cycle closer. You can also look at it as a fresh chance.

tiger glad in laws were ok and you sound chipper. And yes, yes to ttc affecting your mood. Still, being pg will affect us all even more ( did you like what I did there- will affect, not might!!)

Right, off to wash up.... Even though I cooked and then to get dh up to the bedroom, bit chilly to get into nice underwear and get naked but maybe I will have to think if the 'greater good'!!

Ha, I'm with you bushy it's feeling too chilly to get naked, especially here as our boiler is off until the pipe (that oh hammered a nail into) is fixed tomorrow morning. Even the dog is wearing a woolly jumper!

at the three hour commute lumen although that'll be me soon once I start this job. I'll have to remind myself why I gave up a job 10 mins drive away when I'm stuck on a delayed train no doubt! Hope you got back ok.

nolly you sound much more upbeat. This is the place for sharing those wobbles. I find it quite reassuring to know it isn't just me!

Well, we got our ivf group session invite through for next week. Seems very early given that ivf wouldn't be until new year. Am in denial at the moment, just thinking about new job and not about the logistics of going through ivf.

Hot milk with cinnamon and vanilla (my new favourite thing) and then an early night for me! Night berries!

Mmm, tell us more tiger about the hot milk,cinnamon and vanilla- is it vanilla essence and cinnamon powder. Maybe it's what I need to help me drop off. Been finding sleeping difficult on and off.

wild and jellie how are you both doing?

Tiger great news that the inlaws took the news so well! Exciting times ahead! Is the invite to an IVF open evening type thing? I think we would have to go to one of them. I was wondering earlier, how they decide what protocol to put you on too, anyone know?

lumen what an absolute rank commute today! Hope you got home sooner tonight.

nolly we are in Ireland and got the ferry = middle of the sea. Back from terrible phone signal land soon. Got stuck in a cow traffic jam today! Glad you're feeling a bit better now too.

smidge good luck for your scan tomorrow.

happy how are you getting on?

Thanks for the support lovely berries, AF hasn't arrived yet, im only 11dpo so not expecting it til thurs. Still spotting though, delightful! I feel all at sixes and sevens tonight. Totally out of sorts and can't sleep. Had to sneak the wifi on after fil went to bed as I needed to distract my brain. Too much going on in there ha.

Hahaha spoke too soon, my very welcome and dear friend AF turned up this morning, 2 days early! Thrilled!

really sorry beaky.

Ah sorry beaky, have lots of drinks.

The trip home yesterday wasn't much better, 2.5hrs and on one of the trains I started to understand how sardines in a tin feel! Still am working from home today so not all bad. Down reg bleed all done with, just need to wait two weeks for my scan (the prob with being on a set clinic timetable). Sniff sniff sniff for the next two weeks then ....

Hi all other berries, you fab bunch of ladies x

Thanks Nolly and Lumen I've rang the clinic and am hoping to start ivf around jan/feb time. I was hoping for a little earlier obviously but I am grateful I don't need to go to the bottom of the waiting list.

Lumen that's an awful long commute, is it long most of the time anyway?

Nolly I'm back in the middle of the sea today but this time with a massive glad of red wine hope all is good with you.

Not usually that bad beaky, usually an hour each way. My job was relocated a year ago so I don't really have a choice. Maternity leave it had better be

Hey everyone blood test was a definate negative yesterday so stopped all meds now. My rainbow coloured tum thanks me for not stabbing it anymore! I did expect to start bleeding properly but no. It's stopped.

Beaky and Wild sorry we're in the same boat? Wine anyone?!?!

Never mind instadiffers, I feel like a bloody instaduffer.

I'm looking at some of the tests offered by the Serum clinic in Greece, involves sending menstruation blood in a pot by courier! I wonder what I would have made of all these things even 5 years ago!

Tiger - glad you've decided on the job! It'll be an adventure!

Lumen! Blimey where do you start your journey?

In fact where are we all in the country? I'm in High Wycombe!

Sorry it hasn't worked jellie. I'm a couple of miles outside Reading.

Not far from me then! I love Reading for shopping but its a little far for us to go often. We generally save it for Xmas or Jan sales!

Beaky imagine that does still feel like a long way away but at least you're on the list. I asked our nurse about it at our info session at wknd and she said they use long protocol for pretty much everyone art our clinic as they find get best results. What other info have you other berries had?
Jellie can't even imagine what they do with that in Greece?!
Tiger how's the boiler? Today's the first evening I've been allowed to put heating on. Brr. When will you start new job?
Smidge how were your bloods?
Happy how you getting on?
Lumen glad to hear you progressing...good luck for some quality follies! Anything in particular they've suggested you do in this stage? E.g. caffeine, alcohol, supplements etc?
Hello all other berries. We're still waiting on feedback on swimmer quality but all being well start down regging in 2 and a half weeks. For those of you gone/going through ivf, how did you handle telling work? Really don't know what to do....rather not tell them but don't know how realistic that is?

Hey pixie, I didn't tell work until we got near to egg collection and egg transfer. Before that I just said I had medical appointments. I just found that I couldn't come up with a decent reason for the amount of time off and for the fact I couldn't say exactly when or how long I'd need, so I told my boss who was lovely. I didn't tell anyone else and my boss hasn't told anyone else. You could do the same or book the time off work as holiday.. Or pull a sickie??!!

Hello berries.

Sorry AF arrived beaky, but glad you're on the conveyor for jan/feb IVF. With Christmas inbetween it'll soon be time.

Pixie I recommend just telling work. Although I'm not working now, I was for round 1, and I found them to be really good about it. It really relieves the stress of trying to sneak out/worry about turning up late, or what the boss thinks of you with all the made up excuses etc. it's not like they want a big discussion about it (in my case I think he probably wanted to avoid the topic (women's business ). Actually I emailed him to explain (to save on face to face discussion) and that I wouldn't be able to give definitive times/didn't know how the drugs might impact me etc, and he wrote back pretty quickly saying he understood, I must do what's right for me and not worry about them etc. My OH also told his boss as he wasn't sure what times he might need to accompany me to tests etc. they were good too, and that was man to man!

Mind you, I suspect I've mentioned before though that I'm a 'pro-teller'... Reckon more people should be made aware of infertility issues so it stops being a taboo subject. Also helps to heve told them if you get a bfn and are frankly too emotional to be any use in the office!

Someone asked about how they decide whether short (antagonist) or long (agonist) protocol... My first go was short, and I think that's what my (Aussie) clinic goes for initially - means fewer needles (though I'd not heard about the sniffing option) and more drugs are covered by insurance. Also could it mean fewer side effects and more in line with body's own cycle? Not sure. Anyway they changed me to long protocol this time because my LH had started to rise despite the cetrotide, which meant they had to do EC a little earlier than they'd wanted.

AFM, My bloods yesterday were all good to start the downregging with Lucrin, this morning was my first injection of that. It's a really small amount of liquid that I have to inject, which I guess is good - though I still came up a bit pink and irritated looking - all fine now though and it's only 3.5hrs later. No bruise on day 1 hurrah! Next blood test isn't until 15th Oct, and I have my lap a couple of days before that. Feels as if we're on the move again. Bit of a headache so I'd probably better get back to the 2L of water /day routine again.

Oh just read your comment pixie on getting better results from long protocol - here's hoping!!

Glad to hear you are under way smidge, hope the injections keep going ok.

pixie I don't drink caffeine anyway and barely touch alcohol, but I have increased my protein intake as meant to improve egg quality, also drinking nettle tea each day as is meant to build the blood and make a nice healthy womb lining. Am taking CoQ10 and omega supplements on top of a pg supplement. Hope that helps. And I told work (both my male bosses) as didn't want the stress of making excuses, turns out one of them has been through it himself so very understanding, the other one couldn't end the conversation quick enough