The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Evening Berries, just popping in to say ttfn - off to Mauritius tomorrow so unlikely to be on till we're back. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend and will be remotely sending positive Berry vibes to all who need them. Hope to come back to lots of exciting developments.
See you on the other side!

Ahh wild I see. Well if you are paying, I would definitely want those tests first before paying for any expensive procedures/treatment when it could be something that is potentially resolvable. What are you thinking for your next steps?

Bushy pleased that you got the right result and sending you positive berry vibes. At your appointment next week will you find out when you can do another round?

Rain have an amazing time!! I am v.jealous and looking forward to hearing about it! Fx for a holi-diff for you, Tiger Lumen .... Who else is going away? Hope you all have an amazing time anyway!

Was thinking of HB, Otters and also Rosie, how are you all doing? - Rosie I know you weren't going to be posting at all but if you are reading I'm thinking of you and hoping things are going your way.

HB, Otters how are you both getting on at the moment?

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

I'm also checking in for a final time before going off to Italia....we'll be in splendid isolation in the countryside with no TV or internet and I'm very much looking forward to it! Although rather pathetically I also feel sad about leaving my doggster behind! We'll be getting her a pet passport for next time I reckon!

bushy I can so identify with a lot of what you are saying and it sounds to me that all your feelings are perfectly normal. I have been thinking of you, and hoping that you are feeling better. I have phases where I really feel like nothing is worth bothering with and especially on the work front - I only took my job to be in the right place to a baby and now I've been there nearly two years I'm so fed up with it! I expected to be on maternity leave within the first year. Oh how naive!

Hope everyone has a lovely week, and look forward to catching up on all your news when I get back. Much love to all you berries! xx

Mmm burgers sound good wildflower what did you have them with & where from? Know my dh loves a good burger!

I use my journal the same way you do too, although when I read it back I think good god I was an angry person as it's all vent. I don't write in it when I'm happy.

rain I am ' well jel'. Mauritius is going to be amazing! Enjoy it all and have a piña colada for me. Forget about all if this and just be with one another. Where are you staying? We went there for our honeymoon- 2 weeks of lazing about in luxury- bliss!

beaky I think it's to discuss what happened and next steps- which could mean next bit of treatment.I hope maybe she can shed more of a medical light on what's happened and whether this was one of those fluke things or whether something would need to be adapted next time.

I'm missing otters too! she teased us by coming back on and then disappearing.

Tiger thank you for thinking about me, I am getting better but at the same time other feelings crop up and they topple me. It's to be expected I suppose. Maybe I was a bit too together when it first happened and now I'm paying the price. I think emotions will come out when you don't expect them too.

I remember saying at work when they were trying to make me work with a difficult TA to give me one more year and that if it didn't work out then I'd have her, thinking I'll be off on maternity- muhaha! How very naive. Thanks for being so honest about your feelings too. It does make me feel better realising it's not just me. Also how bad are we to ourselves? We really should be much kinder to ourselves. See, nice people are always the worst to themselves and you my lovely, are really nice.

Have a fab time in Italia. Have one of those weird orange alcoholic drinks they serve in a wine glass for me.

Hello berries, just swinging by to say hello and to say that I'm sending you all positive Berrie vibes, as always. Need to do some catching up on the thread, but hope all those of you going on gorgeous hols have a lovely, relaxing time and that those of you at home are ok.

bushy really hope you're doing ok. Remember to be kind to yourself and it's ok to feel like shot sometimes. Miscarriage is a devastating thing to go through so I hope you and those around you are giving you time and space to heal. It does get better.

Hang on in there all - I'm cheering you all on from the sidelines and willing a bumper autumnal bfp Berrie fest! You're amazing, amazing women and I will never forget my time on this thread. I know you will get your babes soon.

Ps. barking if you happen to be reading while on your ttc break at all, just wanted to say that I hope you're well, and that the break is doing you all the good in the world.

Hi berries, am still around as don't go on holiday until Tues so still one more day in work. It has been quiet in here this week, hope everyone that is not posting is ok.

bushy I have been thinking of you often, glad to hear things are getting back to normal. Reading your posts makes me chuckle so often as you could be writing about me. I feel the same about work as you and tiger at the moment, not motivated and having expected to be on maternity leave long ago.

AFM I am less morose than in the week! AF finally turned up today so I will be booking onto my next IVF cycle, will be good to get back to feeling something is being done. Have a new self hypnosis CD called the IVF companion that I am just about to get onto my iPhone so I can listen daily. This cycle is going to be about a positive lumen! Acu is going well and she is even helping with some back problems I have had for years.

Not sure I will be on here much until after hols but I will have a rum cocktail for each of you and here's to a mass autumnal clusterdiff x

Evening all. Sorry for my silence again this week. Coming back from our amazing honeymoon then going straight back to work has been a shock to the system to say the least! Very of those of you jetting off shortly! Unusually for us we've got no breaks/holidays booked at the moment - but I'm working on it! Always need something to look forward to, even more so after the next few weeks. Whatever the outcome!
Feather great to see you. Hope you're well.
Lumen I'm going to look in to the IVF download. Though I bought the Zita West conception one and every time I lay down to listen to it I just fell asleep. Have no idea what she actually says on it!!
Boo to antibodies Wildflower. DH (waaah first time I've used that!) has them in his sperm - the root of all our problems!!
Bushy I'm glad things are becoming a little more normal for you physically. So unfair that you have to be anywhere near the preggos when you go to the hospital. You think they'd deal with things more sensitively.
As for me I finished the Norithisterone on Thursday. Was told I'd bleed within 2-3 days (day 2.5 now) then I'll go in for a baseline scan on cd2 and all being well will start stabbing straight away. Been knicker checking all day but I just know the evil old hag isn't going to show up on time when I actually want her!
Hope everyone else is ok. Promise to be a better Berry this week and get back in to the swing of things. Those of you heading off - have an amazing time on your hols!

Evening ladies.
Just popping in to say hi.
I'm on day 3 of my cycle now so ivf injections should be starting in about 18 days!

Good luck Pip. I'm waiting for AF to show up, but she's running late I'm all booked in to start the natural cycle once she does. Unfortunately unlikely to be a bfp as I had the hysteroscopy this cycle so wasn't able to DTD at the right time.

Hello other berries. Sorry for the extended absence, I was away for a bit then found it hard to catch up. Will try and do better

Feather good to hear from you! You, RP and Win must be getting towards 20w soon hey?

Lumen have an amazing holiday too! I am also in the same zone as you, Bushy and Tiger bored at work and thought id have been gone on maternity a long time ago. I hate my current job so much but can't decide what to do for the best really. I can't do the course I signed up for either due to dh's impending job loss. The IVF hypnosis sounds interesting, I do a relaxation one most nights which is brilliant and really helps me.

Happy straight back to work after a lovely honeymoon must have been awful! Definitely get something booked in as a carrot! Excited for you with the icsi finally underway too, has the witch turned up? Fx for you.

Pip is this the downregging part? All fx for you!

Kuma is it worth poas anyway? how does the natural cycle work? It it just an et procedure at the time of ov? Good luck and fx for you too.

As for me, I took the last pill today so hopefully all of the cysts will be gone I cannot remember how soon AF arrives in a pill cycle as I haven't taken it in over 10 yrs. hopefully it will arrive this week and I can ring up for a scan. Really quite nervous!

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Yes Beaky AF showed up this afternoon with the most horrendous cramps. Will ring and book in for a baseline scan in the morning so should start stabbing shortly. Kuma hope AF shows up for you soon. Will we be cycling at the same time? My EC is scheduled for the week of Sept 22nd as I'm short protocol.
Pip glad things are moving for you too.
Beaky sending strong anti-cyst vibes your way. Is it IUI you're having?

happy If AF ever shows up I will be cycling about the same time as you. Still no signs at all and bfn today as expected.

beaky natural cycle does basically just follow your own ovulation so there are no stimming drugs. Bloods and a scan around day 2 then daily bloods and scans from day 7. At some point you take a drug to stop you ovulating naturally, then do a trigger 36 hours before EC.

I'm still trying to figure out how I make it work with work. I work in a very small office so I don't think I can just be in and out every day without getting everybody suspicious. Maybe work from home with a bad back for a week????

Hallo ladies, I am in the office for about three hours before heading off to darkest scotland for 10 days, so also no internet and phone from me. Just wanted to say really good luck to beaky, Happy, Kuma, Lumen, gil and anyone else with imminent PUPO status. Really hoping for an autumnal batch - feel like we all need a pick me up at the moment. I do anyway, maybe that's just because I am doign my expenses and it makes me want to throw myself out the window.

Also quick virtual hug for Bushy - it's fine and OK to feel sad. Hope you find some peace with yourself and lovely dh over next few weeks.

See you end of Sep!

ps fucking kate middleton!

Glad you said it nolly, my exact thought about 2 mins ago

Oh for fucks sake! Greedy fertile bastards (not angry or depressed today at all) Kate and William, obv.

Nolly enjoy lovely Scotland, take some warm clothes though, I'm north east England and it's effing freezing.

Happy yep iui hopefully starting this cycle. Good luck for your scan and then stabbing!

Kuma best of luck! I would really struggle with that many appointments too, I'm in a small office and don't know how I could reasonably get out that frequently! Hope working from home works out for you instead.

We started trying the day they got married. She's on number two and we don't have one.

Bushy I'm glad that you have your negative result - gosh that sounds odd! I hope that the hormones are settling down.

Hope all of those off on holidays have an amazing time and that the teacher berries are getting back into the swing of things.

I survived my first week back at work (well I say week it was actually three days) and DH and I have decided to wait a few more cycles before our next cycle. I think that I need to get back into work fully, oh and I also need to be off the antidepressants as well. I think that places us at a cycle over Christmas......

Also grrrr to Kate Middleton!!!

Grr to royals, I only found out when dh sent me this: quite witty!

Good one Bushy!

Hb good to hear from you, hope your coping ok with being back to work. Christmas will fly here too and we will have everything crossed for you for the next cycle

Feel pipbin's pain. I remember having a real should we have a baby heart to heart on their wedding day and deciding to try soon... Should have started earlier eh!! Still, imagine the medical help those two would get. They wouldn't be hanging around would they!!

Ooh it is exciting on here with all the Ivf/icsi treatment. Let's hope for a bumper harvest eh!! It's tricky with time out of work.. Would your boss be ok if you came clean kuma? I did in the end as my reasons for having uncertain days off and one 3-5 days later were starting to sound ridiculous ... 'I have to have a timed medical procedure which is time critical. I'll need three days off in total with 2 together and one date tbc after' ...in the end I just said we're having Ivf and my head was lovely about it. After all ladies, we're all a bit older, they probably expect us to be starting families and most of our workplaces have had a good few years out of us. Mine must have thought she is normal then!!

Glad week went well at work hb. I don't think we'd be onto another treatment cycle until Xmas either but will see what consultant says. Would naively love to get a bfp in the meantime. Just gotta get rid of this thrush!! Yes, thrush antibiotics have taken their toll so broken out the canestan!! Seems to be all quiet on the western front re bleeding. So now it's thrush be gone and a bom chicka wom wom

Feeling perkier today and more positive. Had lovely chat with my folks on w/e and spoke to dh too as was rather tearful on Saturday but better since. Onwards and upwards.

bushy glad you are feeling a bit more positive today; I hope you manage to shift the thrush soon.

Re time off, I am one of the bosses so its not a question of needing permission to get time out of the office; I could disappear for an hour every day but people will naturally ask where I'm going to and it will be hard to keep that up every day for a week! I guess the real issue is mine and the fact that I really don't feel like telling people about it. I would be subject to continuous questioning and scrutiny and I don't want to deal with that. We are small enough that everyone would know about it. I can do my job from home easily enough, but I only live 15 minutes away from the office so it would be really unusual for me not to be in the office unless there was something seriously wrong.

I guess it's all going to depend on appointment times, but I suspect that I'm not going to be able to schedule every scan at lunchtime with the NHS..... which was the advantage of the private cycle.

HB glad to hear you have survived being back at work. Christmas will come in no time - can you believe that it's September already?!

I'm totally like you kuma re privacy. Maybe work the week at home and invent a reason why you need to be at home e.g. Roof needs fixing or similar so you have workmen in and need to be there. People might be curious but stuff 'em they'll soon get past it. I was hoping to have appointments not in work time, fat chance!

Hiya! We're quiet on here today! Must be all you lovely berries are on holidays in your far flung destinations.

Bushy - glad you're starting to feel a bit better. Love that cartoon it made me chortle.

Hi beaky, kuma, pip and HP! And anyone else!

I've been thoroughly spoiled over my birthday! Hub took me to Weymouth for three days and then had a surprise party for me locally! I must admit I have eaten and drunk far too much. I was really wanting some salad and veg yesterday! Tee her

I went for my scan this morning. Cyril has left the building! Hurrah! I can start injections tomorrow and could have egg collection by next Wednesday! Eeeep! We've decided to have this round in the London clinic. Hub simply can't get any time off work. We've decided to go for it rather than wait as I might get another cyst and I really just don't want to wait any longer! So tomorrow night I'll have started by now!

Ooh that's exciting jellie!! Be brave with the injections. You'll be fine. I had a bit of a 'I don't like it' moment and had to really build myself up but it actually wasn't that bad. My nurse said to pinch your skin and put it in and then leave it in there for a few moments instead of whipping it out straight away. You could put ice on it to numb it beforehand too. Crikey with the egg collection being next Wednesday!! This shit has definitely got real!!

Glad you had lovely birthday celebrations!