TTC way longer than 10 months past & present

[joycep]

A group of lovely ladies who've seen it all

critter - gosh that is a good piece of news. tight hand squeeze. xxx

Cos - I think you're really brave. You just keep fighting and it will pay off. Like someone else said, this time you have a perfic womble and you know you can get pregnant. My AFC was 9 - I had no problems producing lots of good embies. Don't worry about that at all.

Nelly - it's so lovely to hear your upbeat post and I am thrilled that you have 'passed the test'. It's a good feeling and you deserve to enjoy the moment. Keep that positive vibe - it will carry you through.

Fox - hooray for much needed breaks from work and ttc. You are more than a baby maker. Hope to chat soon. xx

Euro - I understand your anxieties but well done you for putting yourself forward for a new job. Have you ever thought about writing an article to describe the emotions of being a female in your profession coming back to work? Sounds like your industry need to show a bit more compassion and respect towards women returning from mat leave and the like?? But good luck to you. Time will help and for now enjoy your beautiful baby - work will look after itself. Big hugs. xx

Hello to everyone else - we really are a fab little family aren't we. No one gets left behind - we're a team. Thank you to those who said I have a knack for saying the right things. I find this quite amusing as I am not a very good wordsmith at all. But I can really really feel those feelings people describe who are still on their journeys and I can always see the hope. There are really no hopeless cases here. I agree with Cos - it's about tweaking and learning and adapting to try and reach that goal or for however long we feel we can. Although the waiting and heartbreak is truly unbearable at times, I know. Big luffs.

Ah Critter you know that you will find similarities, wherever you look, to all the bad bits of cycles. And also lots of differences . But of course it's early days so I understand how it's impossible to feel anything but worry.

But, for what it's worth... Remember "I bloody knew it"? Well, I have a nice feeling about this cycle. I think the feelings that manifested as stress and worry might mean strong hormones, no? I certainly hope so!

So I've heard back from P. I've to make an appointment for ET on Sunday or Monday . I've replied with a few questions as this is a bit sooner than expected- is that more likely to be day 4/5 or day 5/6? That must make egg collection tomorrow or Wednesday. Anyway I get that they want to leave a bit of flexibility to see how the embies do. The nerve-wracking bit starts here I guess.

Critter you are in the running! This is ace news. I can imagine it's nerve wracking as anything and a big hand hold. Sorry about the row but goodness, frayed nerves are to be expected! Hope all is soothed now.

Hello lovely sar. I'm feeling very loved by ten plussers today

Joy I have always thought that growth hormone would work wonders with this cycle, do you remember that article we read? Do you think that's been a factor? So interesting about compatibility. I've always had an inkling that one of my factors might be incompatibility though I have nothing to base that on. I think that because me and H have a lot of similar features. Which is clearly Bad Science! Ugh I've been forum reading again. I need a google search electric shock system.

Eee Nelly it is happening! Dare I ask how easy the late flight booking is? I do wish dates were more predictable, I found it unnerving in the summer as I couldn't make any plans. I feel all tingly and excited for you.

Other progesterone observations: constant weeing, womble cramps and metal taste in mouth. It's like a lesson in 'all the symptoms you have ever thought were pregnancy are actually progesterone'

The late flight booking is doing my head in. The only direct options don't fly on the days we need to travel. So I need to go via London and all the cheaper flights land just after midnight. Which is a horrid time to get there. I'm sure there would be more options from your local airport. No idea what we will do.

Interesting on the progesterone. I've to start taking mine on Wednesday so I will join you in that fun. At least I won't be wondering if I'm pregnant though! Going to quietly hope that you are though . I think it might be an issue for more people than you'd think. Because of my spotting, I reckon mine drops off a cliff quickly and the only cycle I ever got a BFP was the CP I had on my second IVF, where I loaded up seriously on pessaries.

Have a bit of a sore throat today. Have my steroids taken 30 days to kick in??? I don't often get ill unless being forever tired is an ailment caused by anything other than old age but I never really looked into immunes. My shocking AMH and poor response seemed the main piece of the puzzle, but now I wonder a little bit. Not even to look backwards though, not yet anyway.

Right, back to flight research.

Nelly, Joy, Berry, Buzzy and Critter - Thank you for all your kind words and information. The cramping has stepped up today so I think af may arrive soon. Sorry for the miserable posts this morning, i was feeling very sorry for myself!

Congratulations Critter!!

Fluffy - thank you for your reply, so they were happy for you to go private and then switch back to the NHS? Is this just because it was the same doctor? Do you mind me asking what the £3200 included?

Hi to everyone else :)

Nelly there'll be no wondering! I'm not sure why I'm doing it really. I'm 8dpo today, time with the candles seems to pass slowly. I forget to wear San pro the other day. That was a mistake and a tragic loss of a pair of pants! Sorry pants. Even if immunes are involved you've all bases covered. Don't envy the flight palaver one bit! Hopefully you'll find a good un.

Oh and Sam miserable posts are totally ok here! Sorry that cramps are there. I think the combination of hope creeping in and the bfns is what gets me with a late af, it really does scramble your emotions and to top it all off there's then a period to contend with. The good thing is that very quickly thoughts of a new cycle can make you feel so much better.

Thank you Fox

sam how did your appointment go, hope you had a nice afternoon with your friends, its bloody frustrating when your body does things out of the 'norm' and you left wondering what is going on.

nelly I do find it rather odd that they give you such little notice, what happens if you couldn't get a flight out?? I suppose it would be FET but if Mr N hadn't left a sample Hope you got a good deal on a flight :)

critter have you tested again

I know Buzzy Its not easy especially not Living in London. But I have to say I was surprised when you did yours that they gave you so much notice! What if the donor took longer to stim than expected?

Anyway, outbound flight booked and we were able to use miles so fully refundable and cheap! Holding off to see if they release last minute return seats, so we might be stuck in Greece!

Nelly – blimey this short notice stuff is tough and I’m pleased you have managed to sort work around it. Glad you have sorted yourself out though and hey hopefully you will get a little holiday in Greece as well. I’ve heard rumours that you don’t need prescriptions out there so you can walk in to a pharmacy and pick up all these drugs for cheap and with no prescription. Is this true? And is it disturbing that that is the kind of thing I get excited about?

Fox – you are having very strange symptoms on cyclogest. I’ve been on 2x400g candles for 8 weeks and it doesn’t affect me at all. If I didn’t know we were all so different, I would argue that those side effects are not related to progesterone at all but I do know we are all suffer in different ways!....I am really not sure about growth hormone but i wonder and that article was fascinating. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that Roy and I have some compatibility problem. After all these years and many scares from doctors, essentially there has been nothing wrong with either of us. Perhaps I do have a bit of an immune problem but Euro was suppose to as well yet she didn’t treat them during her pregnancy. I think compatibility is fascinating and I’m really surprised there isn’t more research in to this but when the doctor said to us that some couples just make faulty embryos for no reason, that is compatibility. You’ve had plenty of scares as well and I wonder with you and H there whether there could be something like compatibility going on. I am also watching with interest to see what your level2 immunes are like. You have had several cps after all.

Sar – your posts are always so lovely. Always empathetic and caring.

Critter – so easy to compare isn’t it but just remember your witchy friend. This is going to be it for you. and I feel no different with this pregnancy to last pregnancy, i.e. No symptoms to report of which is highly disconcerting but sometimes i think i’m strong as an ox (solid/well fed) and i’m not a sicky person so am trying to justify it. If i was throwing up i would still probably think the worst. How are you feeling? Do you get symptoms early?

Fluffy – blimey you are sniffing already! That’s quick moving. Great news.

xx

I'm not sure about the prescriptions as we got our drugs from Serum. But a pharmacy supplies them and they just act as a "broker". Maybe there was a prescription I didn't see? We spent about €450 as far as I recall which included out antibs for both of us, steroids, DR, clexane etc.

Are you starting to believe yet?

So EC has happened. But I don't know how many eggs were collected! I've to email tomorrow afternoon for a progress report. even though I've emailed back to ask about the eggs already . That makes Sunday day 5 and Monday day 6. We've booked a return flight for Monday evening which might be too soon but it is changeable, sort of . Managed to get a hotel on points too so keeps the cash cost down at least!

Post more later. Critter how are you?

Was thinking about Free and Ten this morning, hope they are ok x

Fluffy It's good that you're getting started so soon! I don't know much about IVF at the moment so I will be trying to keep up with where you're at.

Critter, so pleased that there is a chance your witchy cousin might be right! Does she have form for making predictions that come true? If so can you please ask her when I can expect my baby

Nelly, so pleased that you've got a date but the late flight booking does sound really stressful. There's definitely worse places than Greece to be stuck though

Sam, AF not arriving and messing with your head is horrible.

I got home from work late last night to a letter from the gynaecologist saying he can't remove my septum when I have the lap in December as he didn't find one when he did a hysteroscopy in May. There were some exclamation marks included in the letter and I felt the tone was a little patronising and I was especially cross as it had been copied to my fertility clinic. I've emailed back reminding him that actually he said he couldn't see anything in May as I was on my period but given that the outside of my womb looks normal and there is clearly something inside my womb as it has been noted on all scans I've had (including his scans), he thought a septate uterus was more likely than bicornuate (heart shaped). He's now given me an appointment on Friday to go and discuss it with him but I'm sure he probably thinks I'm a little crazy. He may have a point given that I scanned in the letters he has sent me and pointed to the relevant parts of them in my email! Some doctors really make me cross.

Hi Buzzy

Had a lovely afternoon thank you, it did take my mind off things for a bit.
Appointment is this afternoon, will update afterwards.

nelly they just seem to know at Reprofit, as far as I am aware they haven't had any problems with donors needing longer to stim so not sure what would happen if they did have problems, there is a pharmacy in Shadwell who do international prescriptions and post them quite cheaply to you too :) we had EC on a Monday and ET on the Saturday so I would think more Sunday but depends if they become HBs

joy some women find being on the immune stuff masks their symptoms

sam sorry I thought it was late yesterday, still no AF ???

berry some doctors are twats when it comes to a 'bedside manner' stick to your guns and don't let them think they know it all or white wash you

fluffy sorry I must have missed your sniffing news :)

Oh I love how busy it is here at the moment.

nelly it's all go! So ET most likely to be on Sunday. Yay! Really really excited for you. I do remember your 'I bloody knew it' comment fondly. I hope you get some sunshine on the trip too although I hear the weather has been really nice in the UK.

berry that is weird and annoying. I don't like the sound of exclamation marks in an email at all, sounds patronising. I think doctors should know better than to take an unsympathetic tone when someone is dealing with infertility and has had a loss. It's great that you're meeting with him. Maybe worth writing down your questions first?

My witchy relative does indeed have form for predicting things. She predicted Diana's death the night before she died and also after J died she and my dad (who was also really worried and fearful the whole of the last month of my pregnancy... I put it down to him and my mum having had a stillbirth) had a conversation and she told him that she had also had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. She also told him that I would have a girl next, who would be conceived in October. At the time I remember thinking 'but that's a whole 9 months away! And I would prefer another boy, exactly like the one I just had!' but obviously I now desperately hope she is right. I don't know if I really believe in all this stuff - I think there are lots of quacks out there - and I have no leanings myself in this direction whatsoever - but if she's right I will be quizzing her on behalf of a lot of friends! Although I don't think I would have wanted to know that what was going to happen to me was going to happen. Nicer to be in blissful ignorance.

fox interesting about the progesterone side effects. I am trying to remember that the fanny candles cause all sorts of odd twinges and symptoms! I hate them and how they make you feel like you're leaking all the the time.

fluffy brilliant that you're getting started so soon, hurrah for the start of sniffing! I kept all my druggage in the fridge too, your OH sounds like a clever guy. I love how positive you are about all this. Hang on to that! Happy hormones can only be a good thing.

joy not long now until Friday. You always say you are ox-like but I remember thinking how rosy and dainty you were when we met! So I don't think consitutions have anything to do with symptoms. I got morning sickness with James from about 6 weeks to about 20 weeks. I thought I started feeling nauseous on the morning of my mc at 5 1/2 weeks but in retrospect it was probably my body gearing up to eject the embryo. But everyone is different and I know plenty of the 10 plussers had no symptoms at all.

ray how are you doing sweetheart? AF must be nearly here, ready for your next natural round, right?

buzz I haven't tested again. I figure the line isn't going to disappear, even if I do have a chemical pregnancy. Although I have fished the test out of the bin several times to look at it again and taken a photo to prove to myself I didn't imagine it. Going to wait until my blood test on Friday.

Very interesting about the compatibility thing. I'd be curious to know more about it. I don't know about the 'looking the same' thing though because we've had ten plussers who've been v physically different to their DHs - like sea and her husband and doll and her husband too, I think. It must be complicated. (understatement).

I 'might' be going home for a few days at the end of this month. If I am, I'll let you all know, in case anyone fancies a meeting for a coffee in London.

Thanks buzz! I won't take any prisoners . Some doctors seem to really dislike it if you question what they're saying but it's just in my nature to ask a lot of questions.

Critter that is so spooky! I guess you could explain away the fact that she predicted something awful was going to happen to you during your prepgnancy with James by saying that she was just concerned for you (especially given what your parents had already been through). But the same argument definitely can't apply to Princess Di! Will you be able to get the repeat blood tests to show if the levels are rising via your clinic?

I had to stop myself from telling the doctor that I found the exclamation marks rude by reminding myself that this guy is going to be routing around inside me in a couple of months . I think a list of questions would be a good idea because I often find I come out of these appointments with more questions that I went in with.

sam hope your doctor is helpful at your appointment.

Hi everyone, sorry for the long time no speak, I am living in a crazy world of busy at the moment! Work is mental, I'm trying to hire some more people for my department, but am also looking for a new job because my boss is a douchebag - I forgot how exhausting that was! I also do an Open Uni course, which I have been totally neglecting for the last few weeks and am now really stressed about catching up. On top of that I am getting a new kitchen, so the house is full of builders and we're cooking on a hotplate in our livingroom corner... And obviously everything is finally moving forward with the IVF! The one saving grace is that Mr Toes has to 'save up' to give a sample at our appointment tomorrow, and I think I ovd yesterday, so this month is less stressful from the point of view because there's not much chance that I could get pregnant not that there was to begin with.

Hello Madness I am glad that you have a lovely little one after ERI, it's really reassuring to know that we made the right choice sticking with them. They have been nothing but lovely so far, back in tomorrow, so will keep you updated! Regarding "annoying parent chat" I love it! It's so nice to see friends who are smitten with their little ones. Plus, I think the poo stories are hilarious if they didn't happen to us (yet!)!

Nelly Glad the lining is perfect, hooray for lining! And so much excitement for next week! Hope you're not stranded in Greece if there are no standby flights, but an accidental holiday could be nice :D

Fox sorry about the anniversary, I remember being in a right grump when 3 years rolled round. I, like you am very organised when it comes to facts and figures - I have to read absolutely everything, make sure I have all the information there is to get before I can begin to relax about anything. Hope everything is going well, thinking positive thoughts for you!

Cos how was your appointment today?

Critter very subtle teeny cheer from Edinburgh for you. Also, the weather is Scotland has been pretty far away from nice... I'm not sure where exactly Nelly is based but ToesDog has been caked in mud for the last week...!

Berry good on out for standing up to the doctor, there is no need to be so rude to you, I mean really? Exclamation marks in a doctor's letter?!

sam How was the appointment? I really feel for you, I went through something similar last month, although AF arrived at 31 days I think. It's the hope that really gets to you!

Oh nelly, EC has happened. wow! shame they can’t just tell you how many have been collected but actually fertilisation rate is the most important. Exciting but I know this is also very nerve wracking too.

Berry – who told you had a septum in the first place? Can you get this 3d scan that Cos had which finally identified the bloody thing? Cos had had a lap and a hysteo and it was never found. So if they find the septum during your lap, couldn’t they remove it or would they have to do it all over again? And you’re not crazy by the way , these doctors can make us crazy.

Critter – your friend sounds like she has a gift. I think i do believe in that kind of stuff. I think some people are extremely intuitive and perceptive in a rather powerful way. 15 years ago Roy’s mother went to a fortune teller who told her one of her 2 kid’s would have twins. She put a bet on it which means she would win £5k if it came true. I remember pinning hope on this last year as i thought it was a bit of a coincidence but obviously it didn’t come to fruition so I don’t advise pinning all hopes but it can be a comfort and offer hope. For what ever my witchy thoughts are worth, I have never doubted you would not have another child. I have always felt it was a given. If you had periods, I believe you would also be able to get pregnant very easily. You have just had a shitty amount of circumstances but time for that to change.

And you are so sweet to describe me as dainty as i’ve never been described as that before!. [Ballet class lasted one session as I was told I was too much of an elephant.] Honestly not a dainty bone in my body! I would describe you as dainty, i’m solid as an ox! Coffee would be lovely when you are next over.

Toes – it sounds like your life is a bit full on at the moment. Hats off to you but exciting that the ivf is about to start. fingers crossed.

Very quick to say I got a reply and we have 9 eggs. That's 300% more than my best OE round, so fingers crossed....

More later

Yay nelly for nine eggs! That's brilliant news! Hoping for lots of beautiful embies and frosties for you.

Hi all, no still no af.
I'm in the waiting room now, feeling really nervous which is silly as I know they won't be able to tell me anything!

And I don't really know what it all means, but 9 eggs sounds good to me Nelly!

So the doctor said to leave it ANOTHER 10 days and do another test... Apparently it's not unusual for the tests to show negative up to 3 weeks??
He said if I don't get a bfp or af by then then to come back..... 10 MORE days!!!!!