TTC way longer than 10 months past & present

[joycep]

A group of lovely ladies who've seen it all

Big squeeze for returned fox! Yay for a bit of a breather workwise at least. Sorry about the depressing meeting with your fertility quest on the table. You do sound a bit flat and I wish things were different.

Cos, nine is plenty to play with. If you're interested I found the site mentioned too. Google afc and ivf success or something.

Sorry about the four year mark. It's such a big one. Lembie was born near our four years, which felt poignant in the midst of other (milk-related) emotions.

Yay for shiny womble, nelly! Ready for the perfect mininelly. I have a very good feeling.

Good luck joy for Friday. I caused all the misunderstanding when misread your post. And yes, you're in the 98% live birth bracket already :)

Any news Sam?

I cannot wait for more good endings here. I luff you ladies loads. Glad I am commuting again if only for a bit of undisturbed MN time

No af and still a very definite bfn... At day 37 I think I'm going to have to admit I am not pg and my previously perfect cycle has gone AWOL ??

Can't get a drs appointment today as there are no am ones due to a surgery meeting so going to have to try tomorrow. Plus my gp is on holiday this week too.

Feeling a bit sad this morning.

Nelly your message this morning made me feel happy hurray for optimism and yes, we have tried so hard and I love that our babies will be friends so much (with mini buzz as cool older friend).

Sam ugh to bfn on day 37. Have you been poorly this month? Colds in the first half of my cycle can make ov late, this has happened a few times to me. Are they super sensitive tests? I really rate temping for knowing a bit more about what's going on. Keep talking on here. There is so so much hope for you, it's just a bugger whilst you're waiting.

Lemon I likes you being back here at this rate I could have a baby by the five year mark. Which feels kind of neat in half decade terms! Half a decade

Hi Fox, they are 10 miu which I think is pretty much the most sensitive... I could be wrong though?
I haven't been poorly no, at least it might explain things if I had!
I had so much cramping from the week before af was due that I was sure it would arrive on time.
Am feeling so emotional that your post made me cry! Thank you for being so kind. X

Sam big hug. Hope that either way you're out of the misery of waiting soon. I've had a few late ones and they've been some of my hardest ttc moments. Can you do something that feels treaty today? You deserve it!

Sam, there's nothing more annoying than a messed up cycle. Do you know for certain when or if you ovulated? I don't think you can be pregnant if you're still getting BFN unless you ovulated later than you thought, which of course is possible. It's totally normal to have a few cycles each year where you don't ovulate and these are usually longer ones. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong.

Fox, it's nice to have you back with us. The four year mark was very hard for me too. I think for me it's tough because I've never even had a sniff of a bfp in all that time. I heard someone on the radio talk about infertility and she had only tried for two years before bfp and I just don't consider that a long time anymore which is pretty depressing. Unless I get pregnant this month then I won't have a baby by the five year anniversary either. I also think that having failed ivfs behind you puts you into a very different phase of ttc.

Cos, I think my af. Is around 10. Is that bad then?

Mad, minimad is gorgeous. He looks like so much fun.

Thank you.
I don't know why I'm so upset today, I was fine yesterday!
Am going out with some friends this afternoon which will be nice and have got an appointment tomorrow evening (with an unknown dr as mine is on leave ??).

It might be pmt making you feel upset, I always feel a little bit better when af arrives strangely enough. Going out with friends is a good idea. Treat yourself to a big slice of cake.

Hi Ray, no I don't know for sure. I was using some cheap opks and thought the lines matched but didn't back it up with the clear blue smiley face one this time (oh how I wish I had..)
Just feel a little out of control I guess as I don't know whether to still wait for af or if I missed it completely and should be looking out for ov now!

Sam it's very rare to have no AF. However it is much more common to have a cycle where you don't ovulate. Even if you use OPKs that doesn't mean there was definitely ovulation, just that there was a LH surge. In anovulatory cycles, they do tend to be longer. They are incredibly frustrating but don't mean anything necessarily sinister. I have 26 day cycles yet have had the odd 40-day one with no positive test. AF shows up eventually. Pout and others have had the same. So whilst it would be much better if this turned out to be a late BFP, the other possibilities are usually quite benign. Just head-fuckery.

Have emailed with my scan results so hoping to hear back today with an update. I'm not very patient!

Drizz we love having you back too. Hooray for commuting

Ray how are you? Fully out of the tent yet? I see I just repeated everything you said to Sam!

Suddenly got busy on here.

Nelly’s Greek Odyssey – great news to perfect lining. You are sounding so upbeat which is fab. I’m so excited for you. How close are you now? Is it like a week or 2 away?

Fox – lovely to have you back and yippee to holiday and feeling like you can move forward from the last shocker of a round. I think new rounds always make people feel flat. I mean we get in to that mentality of thinking how could things possibly change and I know you have had appalling luck but things will change. Love Cos’ little analogy that . They really will. 4 year mark is shite. I really felt like most normal couples would have had 3 kids in that time which was horrible feeling.

Critter lovely, how are you doing? Are you testing tomorrow? Thinking of you and have every bone in my body crossed.

Cos – afc of 9 is absolutely fine. It does go up and down every month anyhow. I was told 14afc was good with me. They were looking for more than 7. When my afc was 11, they got 15 eggs and when it was 14, they got 8. Every round is so different. But you have produced embies that are good enough for freezing and I’m a great believer that people who can do this will always be successful. And now you have your new womble too so 100 times more chances it will work. ...when do you think you will get going? I hope they will come up with a plan tomorrow for you.

Lemon – i’ve heard that stat before but from past experience i know I can be in that 2% bad range. That sounds so negative doesn’t it but It’s not meant to be, I just know they are meaningless especially when Roy and I have had a real question mark over the quality of our embryos.

Mad – lovely to have you back as well! Thanks for saying you had no symptoms too. That’s comforting. Glad minimad is keeping you well.

Sam – sorry about missing af. Unfortunately this seems to be a crappy thing that happens to everyone at one point or other. It’s a total headf*. I hope it turns out to be a late bfp (some people do get these) or af comes quickly. Limbo is awful.

Ray – are you ok?

Yes scan is on Friday evening[frightened]. So I did have an interesting conversation with a gay friend the other night. 2 men. They have one daughter already conceived by a surrogate first month through turkey basting. Surrogate has something like 4 kids of her own and has given birth another 4 times as surrogate in her 30s. She is now 38, her fertility has been tested and she has the fertility of someone in her early 20s. Jealous much?? So out of the 8 or 9 kids she has given birth to, it has never taken her more than 2 months to conceive. She is being the surrogate again for gay couple but it’s husband no.2 who is just putting his sperm forward this time. However, after 14 months it still hasn’t worked. His sperm is excellent and she is super fertile yet for some reason they are just not compatible. I just find this fascinating because I think this really proves that there is such a thing as reproductive incompatibility. I do think some men and women for some reason can’t conceive together. Anyway husband no1 is going to give her his sperm next month so she’ll be pregnant again very soon. But gay friend, who I’ve never spoken to about our fertility problems, was moaning and moaning about how tough it was for him and his husband and it was causing so much stress for them and I finally snapped when he said, “ if it had just worked first time like it did last time, we would have another child by now”. I got very snappy and said “well Roy and I would have 3 kids by now so I think you’re doing pretty well with 1”. Ouch i sounded bitter.

Joy that's really fascinating about your friends. There is so much we just don't know and I know we've talked on here about how annoying it is that no one seems to want to research this stuff. But it makes me so sad that you feel so much pain. I hope with all my might that, very soon, you start to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Friday must seem like an age away. Will that be 10 weeks or so?

Re dates, I guess it will be one week from trigger. I've not heard anything about the donor's progress so far so anything I've mentioned re dates is from my own experience/guesswork. But I was told ET would be within days 14 to 21 of my medication. Day 14 is Thursday. So I'd imagine the donor will trigger within 4-5 days max. I also only have drugs up to next Wednesday. At the moment I'm researching travel options for Sunday. Luckily I was able to use some logic to book leave from work.

Ooh the thread has been busy this weekend!

Critter hope you're doing ok and will be thinking of you if you test tomorrow. I have everything crossed for you.

Euro, I am a commercial property lawyer (non-contentious). Your area of work sounds interesting!

Sam sorry your cycles are messing you around. I sometimes find that mine do that on months where we have had tests. I'm not sure if it's the stress that messes with your body.

Mad, it's lovely to hear from someone who has emerged the other side of dealing with endo. I'm sure I will have lots of questions so thank you for the kind offer. We've been advised to try naturally but only for a couple of months before proceeding to IVF to try and stop the endo coming back.

Nelly hurray for good news at your scan and I'm so glad you're feeling positive! It's amazing how much difference a good night sleep can make as well.

Fox, sorry about the anniversary. It is hard thinking about how much time has passed.

Cos I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. The AFC count was the test my GP missed off so I'm having that done in a couple of weeks! Was the 9 result from a test by your new clinic? I will no doubt be reasearching my result in a couple of weeks and educating myself about something I never thought I would need to know about?

Joy, that is really interesting about your friend. I was reading something the other day about Katie Price saying that her and her husband were really compatible because he only had to look at her and she was pregnant. It really gave me the rage because I didn't like the insinuation that those of us who can't get pregnant quickly are not compatible but on a logical level, I'm sure she is right as I remember reading about her having fertility issues with her previous husband they were probably only trying about 6 bllody months but there was no issue with him. I hope this week passes quickly for you. I know what you mean about taking no comfort in statisics and I don't think you sound negative, just very worried. I have been on the wrong side of those statistics too but I so hope you will end up on the right side of them this time.

sam sorry about the missing AF, it can totally send you mad with 'what if'

nelly I don't think they tell youi much about how the donor is doing, all we were told was how many eggs they got, then we could call each day and see how they were getting on

joy interesting about your gay friends, I do remember them the first time round, I would snap too, some people just don't understand

cos 9 is a good number :)

foxy not long until the new year for you

Sam I'm so sorry you're struggling. I agree with the other ladies - get a thermometer and download the fertility friend app on your phone. It will tell you if you ovulate and just give you a bit more info. I have PCOS and have found that ovulation tests don't work for me (they give false positives) and the only way to know if I am ovulating is to chart my temperature every morning. The book taking charge of your fertility is good. Lots of info on what to look out for. Big hug.

Cos I am really pleased you're getting going again. And ray too. Hoping for some pre Christmas BFP flurries.

Nelly great to hear you sounding so positive and that transfer is likely to be so soon. I love the thought of mini nelly, mini fox and mini buzz being pals.

Joy I have everything crossed for this Friday for you. Does this pregnancy feel different from your last twin pregnancy? I know how scary and fragile it must feel but the 12 week magic mark is nearly in sight. Hold on.

Lemon really lovely to have you regularly posting, hurrah for commuting!

Mad I'm crap too at posting as I always forget what I want to say individually to people. So lovely to hear your little chap is a smiler!

Berry will you be starting your round in the new year? Maybe you and fox can paw clutch together

I was struggling a lot this weekend. Even had a little row with MrC on Saturday evening which is v rare for us - felt homesick and desperately sad and worried. I tried meditating and could just feel this ball of stress in my chest, like a physical sensation. And I felt like I couldn't settle down to anything. So I caved and did a test yesterday around lunchtime (10dpo). And it was positive. Obviously am still very very scared of another mc and crapping myself with every twinge - OTD isn't until Friday - but hoping that this twibling will stick and v grateful to at least be in the running at the moment for a chance at another baby.

Oh Critter..... Teeny tiny super quiet cheer from over here!!! I will keep everything tightly crossed.

Buzzy no I guess that makes sense but I would say knowing at least what day of stimms she was on would help. I must learn to wait. You'd think I'd know by now. Weirdly I've not really considered the "how are they getting on" part. I do feel very different this round. Distanced from their progress. Time will tell what I feel around ET time.

hi all, I just managed to sneak a 5 min break at work to post, and I see critters message! how do I follow something like that! !

critter, I have a really good feeling about you this time around. I know it's easier said than done but you have to take every day at a time. lots of little footsteps will get you where you want to be.

Joy, I hope you are managing to relax and stay positive for this Friday.

Fox, hi. I haven't properly met you, though I have read your journey and I am so pleased you are back. I was pleased to hear you say the pain doesn't get worse and worse, that was something I started to fret about. on the surface I feel ready to embrace ivf, where deep down I have crabby tubes and I can't go all natural! thanks for giving me reassurance.

sorry. I have messages for other people but doing this on my phone (from the loos, sorry) my mind has gone completely blank.

oh, Nelly, great news about your lining! sounds like it's all going to plan!

Sam, you asked me about costs. I am lucky that my nhs dr is the same person as private, so I was able to save 5 months waiting, but not have the stress of different Dr's, and even though lap & dye was private I can continue ivf on nhs. it cost about £3200. a lot of dosh, but it's what we wanted to do. sorry, I know you asked this last week. Hope af sorts itself out.

I got my drugs through on Friday. oh took them as delivery came early and bless him, he's put everything in the fridge! that could make for some cold inserts later on! start sniffing next Tuesday! yay!

So quietly excited for you, critter! Crossing absolutely everything for sticky twibling! Thinking of the rest of you lot as well (and thanks for the warm welcome back!)

critter a quite tiny yay for now :)

Critter . Yay. I am so pleased for you. I have a really good feeling too. Amazing to get a bfp 5 days after transfer as well! I know the next bit is tough but you are in the running and that's good. Sorry about your little row with mrC. It's stress and worry and grief. It's a beast.

On phone so very short post to clutch critter's hand and whisper supportive words. You make really good embies and this is another step towards your goal xx

back later

Oh Critter . That's such ace news. And as Joy said nice and early. Everything crossed for you.

Joy that sounds like a more than appropriate response! But how interesting. That must be the case sometimes.

MrsD I'm not really sure if 9 or 10 is good or bad, think I was wallowing, I'll find out more tomorrow.

A quick phone post to say a quiet yay for critter!

Thanks so much ladies. I got a BFP at 10dpo with my last shortlived pregnancy as well. But am hoping this time will be different.