TTC way longer than 10 months past & present

[joycep]

A group of lovely ladies who've seen it all

foxy it does seem like an age, I tried to find my protocol but can't for some reason, I dr'ed for about 18 days then took progynova for 15 days before EC

To be honest one is more than enough, I don't feel a burning desire to have anymore, its only because we have a frostie that I would return as I couldn't face destroying it, one little baby is all it takes to make you a family

foxy obviously I did find it in the end :)

18 days! I'm so jealous! I still have to take the buserelin even now I'm on estrogen. But actually my worst side effects have come from the estrogen, loads of bloating and gas. And I feel very nauseous. How delightful. How long did you take estrogen after your bfp buzzy? It says I have to take it for ten weeks if I do get lucky. Bloody hell. My tummy already looks three months diffed.

Also I'm on 6 pills a day. Seems excessive. But what would I know! If I don't get to embryo transfer it's going to feel like a big heap of shit landed on me from a great height.

foxy that is twice the dose I took, I don't remember how long I took it for but most of the first trimester I think, I didn't have any problems with the progynova but with all the progesterone I ended up on, I had one depot injection for DRing, I agree its alot to be doing with no guarantee, but they must be reasonably sure that they will get at least 8 eggs, plus as you have been through so much DRing surely you would be the one who got the eggs if for some reason she did not

The bloating is horrible fox. You're so close now and finally things are going well - thank heavens. I'm cheering you on.

ray sorry that the witch is here. I am intrigued by IMSI. Had never heard of it. Oh I so hope that this is it for you.

Add me to the list of people who wanted three. Actually I wanted four but MrC wouldn't have agreed.

Loving the chat on here about balloon popping, joy ray buzz and fox. I feel sometimes like all this has turned me into a horrible person. It's hard for me to be uncomplicatedly happy for people who conceive easily and have children easily. A friend told me last week that a mutual friend (who has three kids and is pregnant with number 4) told her that her first tri mc was as bad as losing a child full-term and it sent me into a massive rage - you see joy I am not always super nice!

Just heard back from clinic. My hcg is at 2.5. They originally wanted me to come in on Monday to start another round then, when it should be finally at zero. But the dates won't work as I have to be on a plane to the UK on the 22nd, which would clash with a projected ET around the 23rd or 24th (14 days of oestrogen, then 5 or 6 days adding in progesterone). So I will go in on the 22nd, in just over three weeks, to see where I'm at in the cycle and possibly start taking the oestrogen tablets then or wait until I have a period and then start.

Basically it's all a bit of a mess dates-wise - I know this only makes a month or so's difference, but I'm just so sick of dealing with TTC/IVF misery on top of my grief. I know you ladies understand. Sometimes I feel like the universe has come up with a fiendishly clever method to torture us all in a really sadistic way.

Waves to everyone.

I don't know, the other recipient is only a week behind me. I much prefer the sound of your protocol! I think the estrogen might be reduced if I do get a bfp. A bfp. What a mystical thing that is. But one things for sure, I won't he cycling like this again, no matter what happens. It's been too drawn out and I'm struggling now.

Cross post critter. Sorry the dates don't align for sooner. And at her too. In fact at long term ttc. It is just tortuous for you to be in this limbo. I want to just hurry it all up for you.

critter the balloons made me go eurgh miscarriage is awful and it is a loss but its nothing like like losing a child at full term, I fail to see how any woman could be so ignorant as to think that not to mention how offensive that is
I'm sorry the dates don't work out, I can relate to the just wanting to get on with it and to be pregnant again, every time it doesn't work out date wise it feels so frustrating, I remember wanting to do SO and Barry needing his hernia op and how mad a felt as the dates would clash

foxy I have to admit I am a bit confused by your protocol why is the other recipient a week behind you?? Would you not be going at the same time?? Is this with Care??

Oh critter, you have more than a right to be angry at such a stupid comment. Thankfully she didn't say it to your face. I think there are events in life that can really test tour character. I think the last year has shown that you are a pretty amazing person critter. Of course you are going to get angry about things , that's all grief and despair. It must be so bloody hard for you to accept that you are still here having to work out transfer dates whilst people expecting their 4th child come out with ridiculous comments. It's bloody awful for you. And quite frankly I am agog that you aren't deeply bitter about it all. I can't be uncomplicatedly happy for people either and I haven't been through your trauma.
A month is a month as well. You just want to move on and get yourself out of this hole. Its limbo land and it's horrid. Perhaps if my cyst has gone, we can clammy paw together.

Fox - you are a bloody warrior. I can't believe how much you have been out through this cycle.

Yes buzzy, I guess because we started our periods on different days and needed to synch cycles and then I had the cyst that needed to go. From start to finish it will be a 10-11 week cycle. I feel about 90 today. I've also had a bit of an accident so not in good shape though won't divulge on here. Feel so glad it wasn't post transfer.

Oh no fox, are you ok? I hope it wasn't serious.

Critter. That was a really stupid and thoughtless thing of your friend to say. I'm not surprised it gave you the rage. Did she realize how insensitive it was? I agree that you're an amazing, warm and kind hearted person. I think I'm much more prone to the self pitying and jealous rage than I'd like to be. I'll admit to some not very nice thoughts in my low moments. I do think ttc has made me more empathetic though.
I'm sorry the dates haven't worked out. I understand how strong the need is to get going again. Timing all this is crap because we have to rely on things out of our control. I could have fitted in an August cycle if could have picked my own start date but that's not possible. Has the bv gone?

Along with weddings, I've discovered that someone telling me they're moving house also gives me the kicked gut feeling because I know it's so they have room for babies. A friend today said she's putting her house up for sale, they have one child and now want somewhere with more bedrooms so I've guessed this means they're trying for a second.

I keep forgetting to say euro, I love the name chosen for centime. They were on my list. Yes, I keep a list of baby names! I keep having to cross them out though it's amazing how much my taste changes over 4 years. How is centime doing? She looks to be doing well judging by the photo. Is there any news on a going home date?

fox I'm so sorry honey - how scary about the accident and I really hope you are ok. This downregging does seem to have taken forever for you and I'm not surprised that you're feeling battered and bruised and like the energy has been sucked out of you. And I can imagine that the thought of doing this again would be not something you'd want to face after endless drugs, plus the horrible and exhausting road that has led you here.

joy you are such a generous-hearted sweetheart and made me feel better. I would LOVE to clammy paw with you. Let's send that cyst off into the sunset together.

buzzy I know I've said it already but it is so nice to have you back here. You're so warm and direct and funny. I remember how desperate you were a couple of years ago and I now look at pics of beautiful little mini bee with so much wonder and joy. Your story really is an inspiration.

I am so lucky to have this thread. What would I have done without you all? You are my lifelines, all of you.

ray - I agree about the house moving stuff and weddings. It's that horrible feeling of being 'left behind' - even though there isn't a timeline for all of this, in societal terms, it feels like there is. The social pressure makes things harder - like cos was saying it's one of the reasons it's really nice to be around people who aren't in the child-rearing zone of life. I think the BV has gone, yes. On personal struggles and TTC crap affecting our personalities - I read a really lovely quote which applies to everyone here yesterday:

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

Great quote, critter.

Sorry to hear of your accident fox I hope you're ok. I'm willing the universe to give you a break and for this to be the start of the end of TTC for you. I really hope with all of my everything that now is your time.

Critter your friend was beyond tactless. Beautiful, beautiful quote above.

Cos I'm hoping this is a lucky post op cycle for you.

Ray I'm still hopeful that third time will be lucky for you.

Joy oh fgs at the cyst and cancelled cycle. I'm really sorry :(

Thinking of you all xx

Thanks bunny. I'll mend. How are you? Sinking in yet? Any symptoms?

Critter that is a lovely lovely quote. I will write that down and keep it somewhere. I too would be lost without you lot.

Ray I too have names that shift and change, usually as they get taken! But I'm presuming ten plussers are exempt and that using ten plusser names is totally ok. A lot of names don't go with our surname, well h's surname. I'm hoping that four years plus of thinking time will mean I am comfortable with the choice

critter that made me cry, it is so very true, I hope you don't mind but I'd like to share that on FB as there are lots of people on my list who I have met through these channels

foxy I hope you are ok, rest up

ray agree about weddings and house moving, even now the thought of some people having a second makes me feel instadiffers still don't sit well with those who have struggled to have a child and managed it, your photos are lovely on the place, you and Mr R do make a beautiful couple :)

x posts with several

foxy if you like the name use it, stuff others

bunny hello how are you

Evening ladies,

fox it is no wonder that you don't want to put yourself through this again. You have been through so much cr*p in this journey. After 6 months of hot flushes and feeling like I was losing it I was definitely done. In hindsight I can now say that it was totally worth it but MrM and I have agreed that we will never do another full round. We will go back for the frosties but if they don't take we will draw a line under it. I hope that you are on the mend from your accident and are being taken care of.

joy I am so sorry that this rubbish cyst has gotten in the way of your cycle. I'm sure you'll get your funded round though. We were told that our nhs cycle would only be lost if the round was cancelled because of insufficient response after stimming.

ray I enjoyed your lovely photos too. I hope the cramps are short lived and the dreaded cyst hasn't returned but I absolutely understand the way you come to expect a new hurdle to be thrown up in your path.

critter aargh to dates that don't work out. A month is not long but will feel like an age on top of all that you have been through already. We must talk on the other place about the northern meet up.

Big waves to nelly and welcome to the newcomers.

Oh and bunny congratulations!!!

Hi all! Hoping I can jump in here. I was a poster on this thread about a year ago but I felt I was maybe a bit early in my journey to be of use to anyone and got confused by the language. I'm two and half years, one miscarriage and my first month of clomid further along now so I think I can do a better job at participating. I hope that's ok!

I will go read up now and see where we all are in the journey. Good luck to all.

Hi dulcet, I think I remember you! Welcome back. So sorry about your mc. I hope that Clomid is the lucky ticket for you, it does seem to do the job for lots of people!

mad you really did go through the mill. 6 months of hot flushes and drugs for your little one - good heavens. I can understand why you won't go through a full round again. How many embies do you have on ice?

buzz of course, please do share the quote on FB. It gave me comfort. So much misery has come from this experience that it's helpful to remember that it has made me more connected to others' pain and more compassionate, and that is a good thing - even though I still struggle.

fox hoping this is your last weekend before being PUPO. I have loved all the names 10 plussers have chosen. I guess we have enough time to think about it, as you say!

bunny hope you're feeling ok.

ray I love your wedding pic. Gorgeous veil.

So I'm going back into the clinic in 3 weeks and they will see what stage I'm at then. All this time flowing past us. Little goals. That's all we can focus on. Hang in there ladies.

Hello all, I've been reading and wanting to post for a while...

joy my heart really did sink when I read about your cycle being cancelled. How bloody frustrating. It's so hard to get all geared up for it and then have the rug pulled from beneath your feet. Did you tell your boss in the end? Hope it went ok if so. As the cyst is a new one, hopefully it'll bugger off as quickly as it came. I was interested to hear the drs view on icsi, which made a lot of sense.

fox I have been thinking of you lots and willing the fertility gods to be kind to you! You so so deserve for this to bloody work! I'm sure the donor will get more than 8 eggs and I hope you get a good clutch of them. So sorry to read about the accident. Could be a good omen in a weird way in that artemis had one on her bfp day!

Oh lovely critter things must be so hard and shitty and I very much understand how you just want to get on with it and get the twibling on the way. You have been through so much lovely lady and are so brave and strong. Hang in there. I know one month must seen like an eternity but it will pass and you will be fit and ready for the twibling. Btw I meant to say we didn't do assisted hatching for the FET. It was a natural cycle with some progesterone thrown in and they just popped the blasto back.

ray lovely pics in t'other place. Hope you had a fab time and aren't too upset about lack of holiday diffage. I'm really interested in imsi, although I don't fully understand it! Does it help id the best sperm? I think I ended up with so few (ie only 1) viable embies as they couldn't pick out the decent sperm. Or maybe there just weren't any!

cos sorry to read about the spotting but hope it's a sign of something good happening.

Wohoo bunny at being diffed again! I'm so so pleased you didn't have to go through years of ttc hell/brown diet and you totally deserve an easy diff. I hope you are feeling ok and the m/c fears aren't making things too scary.

euro hope little centime is doing well and that you're starting to recover from the birth.

nellie how are things with you? Are you off to Greece soon?

Waves to buzz, mad and sar and hi to newbies.

Like everyone else on here, I wanted 3 kids too! I feel soooo immensely grateful and lucky to have the one I have, but suspect if she ever starts sleeping, I'll be consumed by the desire to have another baby and provide her with a sibling. I'm not sure what we'd do about that, as we can't afford any more ivf and I can't see it working again.

With so many cycles coming up, I think the 10+ers have such a good chance of winning their babies soon - come on fertility gods, please let it happen! These lovely ladies really deserve it.

Critter I completely echo what the others have said. I love your coined phrase 'complicatedly happy' - that's such a good way of describing some of the mix of emotions. I can't believe that friend would say that, seems naive and ill thought through. There were some heartbreakingly beautiful pictures published today of a couple with their stillborn daughter, who wanted to celebrate her being part of the family. Miscarriages are sad and difficult but really don't compare in anyway. I have a soft spot for fiery Critter, but know that's not really you and am sad you were pushed to feel that level of anger when you've had such a hard time. I'm so sorry the dates haven't worked out, I can only imagine the need to be thinking and concentrating on the next phase rather than everything that's past. But it will give another month to prepare, another month to heal, and maybe that can help in some way to helping with the next cycle. Have you written any more poetry lately?

Ray I'm sorry for the af and also the wedding invite. It's so true and so hard that as Critter coined we can't just uncomplicatedly be happy at things we used to just be happy about.

Ray and Joy I'm interested in IMSI and PICSI (spelling?) I haven't heard of these techniques, how do they differ from Ivf and (I've got sunday brain fail - icsi?).

Joy and Fox am thinking of you both loads, I so hope there is great news just around the corner.

How odd, I also wanted 3 kids! I caved and did some cheapy internet tests this am and they were arctic. Starting to feel pre-af pains now. Oh well. I had convinced myself that something was happening so it stung for a while this morning. Never mind. Think I need to plan an amazing holiday for next summer that I couldn't do with kids. This stuff just messes with your mind so much doesn't it. A friend posted an interesting link on fb to this thing about 30 days - coming up with projects or things you want to change which take 30 days. Am trying to come up with some as I think ways of counting 30 days which are non ttc related would be good.

Buzzy, Gin, Mad and Sar so nice to have you popping in. Bunny you too, how are you feeling lovely? Tell us all.

Waves all.

Oh cos I'm sorry. The fleeting hope sucks. I'll take that feeling to my grave. How many cycles post-op are you? I'm still so hopeful that this is the missing piece of the puzzle for you and that it's now just down to the old traditional numbers game.

fox you're so close now! you've done so, so well. This is the week! Come on team fox! On a separate note, we're watching countryfile with tea. It made me think of you. I wouldn't be offended if any 10 plusser used any of the names we've chosen. It would be confirmation of our good taste ;) In fact, I really struggle with "ownership" over names. But maybe becaus I have such a common one in rl I'm non plussed. An instadiffer (I may have talked about her on here ages ago) who is a friend of a friend had a HUGE sulk when she found out baby bunnies name because that was HER girl name and it's UNUSUAL. Silly cow. And I wouldn't even be bothered if she used it. I was more offended she couldn't just be pleased for me when it had taken so long and she'd known all about our struggles! Anyone, on names, we decided today that if "peanut" is a girl, she'll probably be Alexa Persephone.

critter I'm sorry you can't cycle this month. Every day counts when you're focusing on the goal. And every day, week, month, year can feel like a bloomin lifetime. You will be fit and ready and refreshed from loch swimming for twibling to nest in and settle into the slow cooker. I hope you have an amazing trip.

gin so nice to "see" you. I hope all is well. Have you moved now? Did you end up outside of the big smoke

euro I read on the other board that centime has moved and is doing well. I hope that she is home with you soon though. It must be incredibly tough for you guys right now.

Waves at nelly, Ray, buzzy, sar, mad (and Artemis and doll) and newbies and anyone I've missed.

Thanks again for the generous well wishes. I'm on knicker watch. For me, this is the scary week. I'm 6+1 today and so I'm in the "dangerzone" for when I lost the others. I've had some very mild nausea and I'm constantly tired. I don't feel hugely pregnant right now. I'm just keeping busy with baby bunny and house stuff and TV. We've got right into orange is the new black at the moment. I'm really enjoying it for some light relief.