TTC way longer than 10 months past & present

[joycep]

A group of lovely ladies who've seen it all

Nelly - goodness things are going to be happening quickly for you soon. exciting!

Critter - that's great news that twibling2 is on board. Wonderful! You'll be testing slightly before me. My test day i've been given for a poas is October 1st , incidentally the exact same day as last year's ivf as it was the day we moved house.

Joy will you wait for the official test do you think?

Critter just to let you know I'm thinking of you and the twibling! I'm really pleased to hear transfer all went ok.

Am keeping everything crossed for you and joy x

Critter - I don't get a blood test and 1st oct is about 20dpo so that is actually quite late isn't it. I have never got a line before 17dpo before so I shall wait until then. I do think I know how I feel in pregnancy now so I should be able to tell before then. Can you tell if you are pregnant?
This really is it for us. Clinic didn't call today so there was only one very slow embie left yesterday who had an outside chance of getting to frostie but I guess it didn't make it. Such a worry we can't get anything to freeze. Stupidly looked up what cells we should have had at day4 and of course our 2 that went back were way under what should have been but I think gin and euro prove that doesn't matter.
Steroid Insomnia is not helping with positivity !

Joy you're out of the euphoria stage that it all went ok and now in the worry zone. You have options, and there is every reason this could be it. Hang in there, you just need to get through the next couple of weeks. 20dpo is late but better to have a nice strong beta with no faint line squinting. I thought I knew how I felt when pregnant (dizzy and bloated) but I honestly think fake hormones cloud that so basically I don't know... And will prob wait for blood test this time as I resent forking out for a pregnancy test yet again!

Hold tight joy. Am sending a super prayer up for you.

Thanks Critter . Hope you're feeling positive.

We got confirmation that no frosties . No pressure on these 2 then.

That's great critter. I hope twibling is snuggling in now. Is it a blast?

Joy, I'm sorry you don't have any frosties. It's always nice to feel that there is a back up. But you have two that have every chance of becoming babies :) I really don't think you can tell much from cell number despite what embryologists might tell us. My dr said he takes more notice of the way they're dividing, they like to see it nice and even division I think. We all know examples of poor embryos transferrd that resulted in live births. Yours weren't poor quality though anyway, were they? I was on 10mg of pred and at that dose it didn't give me any side effects, although I did think it gave it me really nice looking skin on my face. I might have been a bit delusional though.

Critter I'm so pleased Twibling is on board. Fingers massively crossed for you.

Joy I'm sorry you have no frosties. But Chloe and Joey are the focus now. Try not to worry beyond that. This is your positivity cycle remember. Be happy and excited. This could be it .

AF here today. So have emailed Penny to get my timetable. Also voted and now have to just wait on that front.

In better news, Mr N managed to wangle a significant cash discount for a piece of work being done in our home. Hopefully the saving will pay for our Greece flights.

Critter great news about your transfer. Happy, positive thoughts winging your way

Joy I am sorry that you didn't get the insurance frosties you would've liked but nelly is right, this is your cycle remember ray is right too when she says that cell numbers mean nothing speaks as someone with duff blastos Still sending you snuggly, nestling thoughts

nelly Good news about Greece and even better news that you have found the cash for your flights, well done MrN!

I've been looking at blinds today online and depressing myself over the cost for our huge blardy windows. I only want black out rollers to go behind the bedroom curtains and to replace the mouldy bamboo ones and can probably live without the fancy polka dot ones or the ones with the trees Sob I just know that I will end up having to make something & can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.....

Joy I'm so glad you got two lovely ones on board. It's a shame about the others, but these two are in the best place possible. I'm so hopeful for you and have everything crossed and more. Hope you have some nice distractions lined up for the next few days. At one point on Mr S plan I was on 40mg pred which felt like a lot. I did 10 another time and didn't feel that very much.

Critter great news twibling is back on board. Well done you, am sending a prayer up for you too. Oh I really hope you now have a smooth ride of things.

Nelly that is awesome news. I'm very excited for you, and great news about the discount! It's a sign!

Pout we got our black out roller blinds from ikea if that's any help, I think they were quite good value.

Ray hope you are managing the anxiety ok. Do you get scanned again tomorrow?

Waves all round. Having a completely exhausting week work wise. Roll on the weekend.

joy it's nice to have the insurance of frosties, but you won't need them if the two on board work. I so hope that this is your cycle. I was hoping for frosties from my 4th cycle - it was why I went for mild stimming rather than natural. I didn't get them but that doesn't matter a jot because I got centime.

critter I'm cheering on the twibling for you.

nelly that's great news about the discount and the Greece flights. It's all falling into place.

cos how are you doing bar the work exhaustion?

ray how are you feeling? Not long now to EC.

pout I bought blackout lining for curtains at my last flat and hung it on a separate rail (so I could draw the thin curtain across if I wanted privacy but light). I bought it from some online site and think it was very cheap.

I took centime into my office today (that always used to annoy the hell out of me but it was requested by a few people). She was very much admired. And farted raucously at a number of my colleagues. :)

Woo hoo, Nelly am very chuffed this morning that we're all still together!

Nelly - woohoo you're still with us. And good to hear on some cash savings and that you can get going now.

Euro- must have been an amazing feeling taking centime in to the office. Your turn at last.

Thanks all. You know when you're trying to be so positive and when they called me yesterday it just made me miserable for rest of day. Kind of felt history repeating itself as I realised the 2 that went back were only a few more cells on from what they were on day3. I must stop this and be patient.

joy I think the progesterone contributes to the negative feelings. I'm sure it has that effect after the stimming. I find that negativity is my natural state now though when it comes to anything ttc related. I always expect there to be bad news. I know it's easy for me to say but you need to try and forget about the cell number, Joey and Chloe could be snuggling down right now. I think getting in the right environment makes a big difference and we have no idea what happens in there. I wish it was possible to attach a little camera to the womb so we could have a web cam through the 2ww.

I've just had a cry in the work toilets. My scan this morning showed it's only grown 4mm from Monday so it's 14mm today. He said normal rate of growth is 2mm per day. How I long to be normal. Being this slow can't be good news, I'm sure it's a sign something isn't right. Anyway ec is cancelled for Monday and we're going to try for Wed instead. Of course I'd arranged to cancel work stuff on Monday morning and now I can do them and I have something Wed morning that I've now got to try and get out of which is going to be very difficult. Sigh. Why can't these things be simple? It's the fitting it around work that makes it so bloody stressful.

Oh ray, I think slow growing follicles doesn't mean anything. It kind of makes sense that a lot of people won't grow them at the rate they 'should' grow . What about all those people with super long cycles who get pregnant. This may be the lucky one, you just don't know. At least it won't be the right size on Sunday now. If we didn't have to work it would make it all so much easier wouldn't it. Or if we could tell work without fear of being laid off which would be even better.
I really think being positive is the better state of mind to be in...obviously but I think for me I have terrible insomnia right now and also I had such high hopes of a different protocol and being able to freeze at least one back up and felt such a fool yesterday when they rang. I really believed it. They were so encouraging about better results for someone like us using ivf. Of course it doesn't matter if this works but I also haven't felt implantation pains which in hindsight were very obvious in my last two cycles. Last cycle slight hcg number had showed it had try to implant at least.
One's mind just ticks over and over doesn't it. We have had 28 embryos now which haven't worked so this feels pretty big.

You are far from being a fool, joy! You are incredibly brave and tenacious and I'm so impressed with the effort you've put into this. I know it's been grueling and exhausting. I sometimes feel like a fool for ever believing that ivf would be the solution. It's such early days for you, that I'm still hopeful that you'll get a BFP. I knew by 10dpo that it hadn't worked, but I've never been pregnant so maybe that would be no different.

Ages ago I read something about late ovulation meaning weaker eggs. It might be rubbish but it stuck in my head. I feel like there are so many hurdles. Timing is still going to be tricky, will there be an egg? Will to be too late? Or not ripe? Will it have stopped growing? Then even if they get the egg, dh shit sperm comes into play and then the worry over genetic issues.

ray I was told 1-2mm per day is normal, so at my clinic, 4mm in 4 days would be considered absolutely fine. Try not to worry. You are growing your follie. I recall growth was quite uneven on my natural cycles with some slow periods and others where it raced ahead.

joy the worry is natural after all you have been through, and I am sure that the insomnia isn't helping, but there is every chance that this is your cycle. When do you think you will test?

I heard today that a friend of mine who has had I think 4 IVF cycles including two that ended in mc at ARGC is 21 weeks pg. I am so, so thrilled for her. The hard won ones make me so happy. I can't wait to see her with a bump.

Thanks you euro! I feel better thinking 1mm might be normal. There was a medical student watching today and I overhead dr telling her 2mm per day was normal expected growth. That's lovely news about your friend. Had she delayed telling people because of her previous experiences? I wonder if she did anything different this Time.

I bet you couldn't believe that it was finally your turn euro show your baby off at work. She is adorable BTW, the latest pic on FB was lovely. She is so tiny and perfect.

ray There are so many hoops & stages to reach with IVF and it is exhausting all the worry. If they were unduly worried about your follie growth they would have increased your stims wouldn't they? I had to take a whopper dose at the end because mine weren't big enough. euro makes a good point about her clinic.
About late ovulation, I read that it indicates a strong ovulation.

Thanks for blind advice. euro I like your idea. That said I remembered last night that often Argos do buy one (or two) things from their Colour range and get another free, so I might wait until then and just get some boring white ones. We will need to leave them when we go if we bin the mouldy ones so it makes sense to go cheap!

Thinking of you both critter and joy today. I have everything crossed.

Oh ray I am so sorry to hear about work loo tears. They are the worst, the absolute worst. I do think it's fine if you're just growing slowly though. We get used to the drugs forcing us to do things quickly and you're just moving at your natural pace. I am so sorry about the work day switch, could you just be sick on Wednesday and take the whole day off to minimise the stress? I had the same thing with my transfer and ended up telling someone at work (I wish I hadn't but we were organising job interviews) and in fact ended up missing an interview anyway - kind of wish I'd just taken the whole day off with a stomach flu. I'm thinking of you and with you every step of the way. Oh and I wish there were a web cam too! Although then I wouldn't get any work done.

nelly yay that you're still with us! Was listening to the Radio Four coverage yesterday evening and was so pleased to wake up to the news. I love Scotland and would have been so sad if you had left. Great news about the discount MrN scored and great news that AF is here. I am really excited for you! I really think this could be your ticket out of the TTC holding pattern.

joy I have never had implantation pains with either of my rounds. I am hopeful for you honey, I really am. I know it's all consuming and I just think you've done brilliantly to manage to get through all this. A frozen embie as back up would have been lovely, I know. But you have two beauties in there. And look at euro's 4 IVF cycle friend! Keep going joy I know the days are dragging. Maybe you could do a couple of meditations when you wake up in the night panicking... the Jon Kabat Zinn loving kindness one that's on YouTube? Or some gentle yoga? I wish this weren't so stressful.

pout house stuff is always such a pain! I do love having a nest and making it nice though it is expensive to sort out things like blinds, and like you I always like the expensive stuff! Incidentally we are currently looking after our friends' jack russell for the weekend and I thought of you and your dogs. It's really nice having him about, he is super old and has mellowed with age, and just enjoys sleeping and watching me cook.

cos how are you doing lovely girl? You must be half way through your 6 month waiting period now, at least. I hope you're managing, you've been such a trooper and I really feel it is your turn now!

euro how gorgeous to be able to take centime into work and show her off! She sounds very funny with the farting while looking so tiny and dainty. Hope you're recovering ok from the op.

Ray I was also told 1-2mm a day was normal growth. I do wonder about those grainy pics on the screens too during scanning - I'm not sure it's as crystally precise as all that. Like euro said you're growing your follie. I'm so sorry for tears at work, they're just the worst and we've all been there. Tight squeeze, keep going.

Joy oh you've really been through the mill, 28 is a lot of little growing embies to be missing. This might sound a bit odd but I remember my lost embies as picturing little twinkling flickering candle lights all around me as something to give me comfort and strength. And 2 are inside having a go right now, come on Chloe and Joey. We are due thread twins.

Critter you sound lovely and upbeat which I hope is true. I am willing you on.

Euro so glad you got to be the one showing off your new baby, it must have been surreally lovely. A colleague brought her 3 yr old in today, which was lovely, he was milky bar kid cute. But I remember her being pregnant and it made me think of all the intervening months and the differences between what we've done. There must be a point to all the heartache, and I hope it's to make the experience all the sweeter once you are there.

Pout we are actually about to replace our blackout blinds (they're grey) but I suppose the chances of our ones fitting your windows are a bit small aren't they. And I don't know how I'd get them to you. But you'd be welcome to them otherwise! (helpful) It's winter soon though?!

Fox big waves.

Afm I'm about 5 days post ov. I have had a full on week, but I've been in a real funk since last week, I feel exhausted and my ovaries feel like they are creaking and on their last legs, ive had loads of back ache, and I've had loads of post ov bleeding, and a lot and bright red, and I'm sure the whole thing just means low progesterone due to my eggs. It feels so pointless at the moment. Just when at the same time there is actually a massive opportunity at work, like there's a huge hole where new bosses are willing me to step up and step into and run with but I feel like 'no that's not me my life's going in the wrong direction I can't do it' etc. So yeah, all good really, same as usual! Oh it is nice to be able to offload here sometimes to people who understand. I did meet another success story this week and they are nice. I've made an appointment with a new Chinese doc (who is a Chinese lady also trained western doc) which I'm hoping will at least make me feel more positive until we're ready to do Ivf again and be a good build up.

Hope you all have good weekends.

Thanks ladies, glad I'm still here . It's really all a very complex situation though and tensions are running very high in some areas.

Cos why are you worried about eggs? They've not been a concern up to now have they? I'm sorry that it all feels like such a waste of time :( But your Chinese doc sounds like a good interim step.

Ray I too was told 1-2mm, of course I was told that more in terms of "and you aren't even doing that" so I'm no poster child, but your rate of growth seems fine to me.

Critter I wondered who that adorable creature was :).

Euro it has really made me beam that you got to do the annoying baby in office thing. Not annoying when it's a 10plusser of course, just when it's smug instadiffers . Centime is just so adorable looking.

Joy, lovely Joy. Don't analyse the numbers. If Sar was on the thread right now she'd say Open Heart. Give Chloe and Joey full focus and let the other worries pass on by. We worry enough all the rest of the time. For now you are PUPO.

Sadly the discount won't cover the actual treatment. But for everything else there's MasterCard, huh? Can't quite work out timings. I DR on 8th Oct and expect AF a few days later (co-inciding nicely with our little event, sorry in advance!). At that point I synchronise with donor but not sure what that means in terms of timings. My guess would be ET early Nov but who knows. I'm a little bit Ostrich about it just now. I guess being pregnant seems like such an abstract concept that I can't even think about the rest of it.

Gah iPad typing takes so long. I give up for now. Sorry for being rubbish!

joy yay to Chloe and Joey, they are all you need to think about right now, fingers are crossed for you and critter

ray has others have said 1-2mm a day

cos one of the first symptoms I had was back pain, just saying

pout we just bought black out curtains from Amazon and they clip onto the back of the curtains, they do really work

nelly very exciting, my protocol was DR shot, which lasted 18 days, then 15 days of progynova, day 15 was also EC and Barry doing his bit :)

Cos Chinese doc appointment sounds great. Post ovulation bleeding could be low progesterone but surely that wouldn't be caused by your eggs? It does sound like progesterone is a big part of the puzzle for you. Are you taking an iron supplement? Will be really interested to hear what Chinese doc says. Sea was always good on Chinese medicine. Wonder how she's getting on.

Nelly sorry the discount won't cover the cost of Greece. Actually I think that the ostrich approach is a good one. It's basically what I'm doing now... Ignoring things! Last time I was ticking off the days until I could test. This time I'm a bit more meh. Even if this works I may well mc again so not getting all excited about things. Feeling ill today and yesterday (sore throat, aches, sniffle) and holed up under the duvet with the jack Russell for company. Have to return some library books later and trying to summon up the energy to walk downtown to the library.

How's everyone else? Joy and ray lovely girls I am sending positive thoughts your ways!

Gin and buzz how are your little girls?

Buzzy if only! But at 1-3 days post ov?

Critter I have been tested in the past for low iron. Is there a link between that and low progesterone? I can understand the keeping excitement in check, one day at a time and one foot in front of the other etc. Hope you feel better soon.

A lovely afternoon. Pics will be on fb from the others I'm sure. All fine for once and not too stabby.

Hope you're all having nice weekends.