TTC way longer than 10 months past & present

[joycep]

A group of lovely ladies who've seen it all

Are the cramps not due to the drugs you're on now critter? I know every twinge and pain makes us fret. This is all so stressful and difficult, isn't it? I like your idea of spending on clothes. I've bought a few bits for my autumn work wardrobe, totally unnecessary spending but it did cheer me up. We have also planned a few days away for October, again spending that can only be justified on the basis that we need something to look forward to and Christmas is so far away.

The wine festival was lots of fun. Drinking in the sunshine is always good :)

Gin, I love the photos of mini gin too. She's a cutie. When do you go back to work? Will ginster be going to nursery? I was a bit ill in the last cycle but it was day 21 ish so shouldn't have affected ovulation.

The scan is on the 15th which will be cd11. It depends what's going on then as to what happens next. There seems to be so many hurdles to get over that I can't think of ec just yet.

ray spending money on clothes is totally the way forward. I basically spent two years not buying any new clothes and not getting my hair cut. And now I'm putting effort into my appearance again it makes such a difference to how I feel. Little things like keeping a pair of heels under my desk at work to change into, blowdrying my hair. Oh and deciding on my new autumn 'look' which is going to be button down shirts partially tucked into skinny jeans with heeled boots and a good belt… sort of 70s sexy but really easy to do.

I don't think the cramps are coming from the drugs as it's just oestrogen that I'm taking. I am worried that if the embies takes my cramping womble will squeeze it out after a week or so or something. Sorry. I clearly need a kipper slap. It sounds like your and my ETs will be around the same time. I'll be paw squeezing.

I'll hand you the kipper, critter. Honestly, the oestrogen made me feel like shit. I found the fet the most hard work. Downregging and stimming didn't affect me but the oestrogen gave me all sorts of weird symptoms, I'm fairly sure womble cramps were among them.

I like the sound of your autumn wardrobe. I have also bought a couple of crisp looking shirts, a pair of cigarette trousers, and a pair of navy/brown brogues which I'm a little bit in love with. What type of heel do your boots have? How long are the boots? I'm thinking of buying a new pair but can't decide on style.

Ooh ray it sounds like we're thinking along the same lines, tomboy chic, love it! These are the boots I want (in black) but they are pricey so I'm waiting for them to go into the sale or to be 30% off.

Thanks for the advice on the oestrogen - I do remember now that you felt rotten on it and that makes me feel better if that doesn't sound awful - just that it's normal IYSWIM. I like that you're planning an October trip too. MrC and I are thinking about Christmas and what we might do. I want to avoid a big family thing so we're thinking either somewhere warm or somewhere really snowy where we can hole up and watch Netflix together.

Good boots! I'm loving the fashion and wine chat.

I think the last time I went shopping for non-mat wear was last November, for the flashy party we went to in Ireland. I am looking forward to freshening up my wardrobe once I have lost the baby chub .

It sounds like critter and ray will be able to hold one another's hand through these cycles. It was so nice to have a cycle buddy when I was going through it.

critter those Xmas plans sound lovely.

Critter - I am sorry about the cramps. Hopefully you will get some idea today. I am sure it is nothing but how difficult it is not to worry. I find my course helpful too Critter although this is so over powering I am finding it very hard to concentrate on other things especially during ivf. A quiet Xmas sounds like heaven Critter. I really want to go somewhere away from family this year. I used to be so excited by Xmas but this will be my 5th with no baby and there was such a massive argument last year it stayed with me for months afterwards. Like me you are 1979 girl. My friend reminded me recently that I had said I had hoped to be pregnant before my 31st birthday. Clearly that didn't happen!

Ray - not long for you now. How are you feeling. You have had a shitty time recently. I am glad you have something booked with mrray it's so important to do nice things.

So had scan yesterday and today. One way out in front , a couple around 18mm and another couple much smaller. I may trigger today. I should be grateful I have some but easy to compare to other rounds. But I am in a lot of pain during scans this cycle and at last place I never had a problem. The doc got quite shirty with me on Friday because when it's painful your pelvis lifts up and everything moves. And I had to apologise again today but the doc said "it's painful because of your endometritis". Urrrrghh what??? I said I don't think I have that and he said "well women with endo and adhesions have pain during scans".

This doc needs informing I am neurotic and many women going through ivf are worriers.Was trying not to cry down the phone to Roy. Something else to get in a tizzy about . Is that bad practice just to come out with things like that?

Urgh duchess middy is pregnant again. I was starting ivf last time they made an announcement. Have to hear about it for the next 9 months.

Oh joy I am so sorry. It sounds like he was making an assumption not based on fact which is not what medics are meant to do. I would call them out on it next time you're there, and say "one doctor said I have endometriosis. I have never been diagnosed with this. Could you please check that this isn't something I have to worry about?" Of course you're stressed about this, it's really stressful! Good news about the follies though. Exciting that you're triggering so soon.

I have decided not to go in for a scan this morning before work but to wait until Wednesday as originally planned. It's 30 bucks each time I have a scan and if they say Wednesday is the day, I'm just going to trust that they know what they are doing… also it's only two more days to wait . They'll call me on Weds to let me know the calendar but am assuming transfer will be Monday. I have a hen weekend coming up so at least my mind will be partly off things!

euro I didn't buy any maternity wear when I was pregnant, I made do with hand-me-downs from friends, and I regret it. It was old leggings and bobbly jersey dresses. If there's a next time, I will be buying really nice maternity clothes! I bet you're looking forward to having nice non maternity outfits again, but I remember when I saw you in April or May, you looked absolutely gorgeous and didn't have any chub at all, just your little bump.

joy the doctor shouldn't say such stupid things. I'd ask another one to clarify what he meant? Are they saying you have endo based on a painful scan when no other tests have showed it up? I've had the odd painful one, it depends on the skill of the doctor and how hard they push. Also, cervix position and also if you're ovaries are bloated from stimming of course it's going to be painful.

critter those boots are very nice. I'm so happy block heels are back in fashion because they're so much more comfortable. I can't decide what colour boots I should get. I have dark brown long boots so should probably go for black. Decisions, decisions.

Bleugh to the K mid news. I scanned one of the threads on here and just can't identify with the oh isn't it lovely news, has really cheered me up sentiment. I had that stomach lurch when I read it. We had just started the tests when they got married so it's depressing to me that we're no further forward in the time they've got married had one and are pregnant with a second. She's obviously a duffed to order one.

your not you're. Blame autocorrect :)

Ray just wanted to give you an encouraging squeeze. I had a sick feeling too reading that news. I try to remember that no happiness comes from comparing ourselves to others, etc etc. I reckon lots of women probably had a pang hearing about it.

Ray it's so hard to lift yourself out of a hole. The wine festival sounded fab, gorgeous pic on the other place. Its hard starting a round when you haven't got high hopes, but I so think its worth doing something different as you just never know what will come of it.

Joy that is an unbelievable thing for a doctor to say. It's just the kind of thing that if you had said that to a doctor that would get completely scorned at. Sorry for the odd pains, how worrisome. Hope it's just hormones mixing with your digestive system and making you feel a bit weird. It's interesting how differently you've responded in terms of numbers, I will be watching with interest what this might mean later on. I have everything crossed. So. Interesting what that nurse said about embryos. Keep going not long till EC now.

Critter sorry for the odd pains too. Could it be a bit of stretching out in response to the oestrogen? I like the spending money on clothes not scans plan! Loving the fashion planning chat.

Fox and Ray oh yes to the just not wanting to spend any more time on this!

Hello Gin, lovely to see you. I have got progesterone but am worried that taking it would just lead to another mc.

Thanks for encouraging words, they're always so nice to read. Had lunch with pregnant close friend. It's hard when it's someone you really can't hide your true feelings from, and I think hard for both of us, but we muddled through it. I behaved impeccably and was pleased with myself for that. Also got invited to do a sporty thing with some fun people (mums) who made such an effort to include me I felt very touched. I do sometimes feel like a kid in the playground who's just desperate to join in.

Waves to everyone else.

Cos, it means a lot when friends include and hopefully they realise you can cancel if you need to. There is nothing worse than being treated like a leper just because you don't have kids. Well done for meeting up with your pregnant friend. Often I find it's never as bad as I think but it depends on the old hormone levels

Critter / ray - thanks, I don't know what he basing his assumptions on. All my scans are painful this cycle but he is the one who has been scanning me. I don't think he handles his rod well. But I will enquire about his 'diagnosis' once this cycle is over and done with.

Critter - $30 for a scan? Is that subsidised ? Why are they £200 this side of the pond? I hope you are feeling ok about tomorrow, I am sure everything is going to be just fine.

Ray - I had the stomach lurch too. It's a sad state to have the lurch when someone we don't even know gets pregnant. But I guess there are reminders here. I was having IuI during their wedding and was told to call the 2 follicles Will and Kate if it worked. That's just so long ago now.

So I am triggering tonight just waiting for timings. EC on thurs. Had intrallipids today. It's all tenterhooks the next bit- will I ovulate early? Will the runner away egg buggered things up? Will they fertilise. The list goes on.
Feels like I have been at this for ages as I first downregged in July. Really had an easy ride with the short protocol before.
Anyway just ordered a book called the Secret on laws of attraction. I shall be hoping to learn positive thinking and hope this will change my future. It is strange because I often wonder whether the power of my negative thinking has become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Sorry for radio silence but MrP has been off for a fortnight and we had a stay-vacation that involved painting the shed a lovely shade of Olive and watching lots of trashy TV like Game of Thrones, True Detective and finally getting to see the first two series of Breaking Bad (Nelly I thought of you!)

critter I'm sorry that you have the worries of cramping pre transfer. I wonder whether it is the worry itself that might be making it worse, I know that I get cramps when I'm nervous. I think that ray makes a good point about the drugs too.

ray I so felt for you when I read about your long cycle and test-gate. That has happened to me so many times. Much later than expected cycle where you veer on the side of caution when adding up the dates anyway, you don't believe that anything has happened but when there is still no sign of AF you start to believe that the miracle might just have happened. It is just so shitty & cruel and feels like your body is playing a nasty joke. I have started to think that maybe on those cycles something has happened. Bizarrely it is a comfort.

joy I am furiously eye rolling at that doctor's comments about endo. What a seriously dumb off the cuff comment to make. I agree with critter about calling the clinic and calling them out on it. I also agree with ray that sometimes/rarely a scan can hurt and it depends with me on where I am in my cycle, how easy they can see what they are looking for (follie scans hurt more because of more ferreting around) how full my bladder is and how rough/inexperienced the person doing the scan is. My doctor never hurt me but the trainee did hurt both times.

cos Well done on your perfect behaviour

fox I have been thinking of you and hope that you are okay. Any sign of the witch yet?

euro Glad that Centime is settling in.

nelly I am jealous of your tentative musings about moving overseas. I keep imagining moving to a remote Hebridean island somewhere where we have no neighbours, my dogs can run feral and there are no preggos!

Waves to gin & buzzy so lovely to hear from you How are the little ten plussers?

ray Oh God at the Royal baby news. I had to keep turning the news over yesterday. It only feels like yesterday that I watched the wedding and was thinking that at least I had a bit of time to get my BFP before they did. It is almost laughable that two house moves later, a failed IVF and FET and they are on baby number two and I am further away from my goal than ever.

The new clothes/look chat is interesting although it is another thing where I feel like an interloper looking in. I just don't do well turned out and don't do girlie stuff. I'm crap at make up and hair and I don't even wear jewellery, not even a watch or my wedding ring. I'm jealous of you glamour pusses in your sassy boots!

Joy, woo hoo to triggering. That bit always feels like a good milestone to reach. I reckon your dr is just a bit rough. It's not surprising it's painful when you think about it. I get in a bit of a cold sweat when I think of ec without sedation or ga. I'd already been trying for a bit when k mid and will got engaged so I think it's the passage of time that upsets me. That they can get engaged, have a wedding and two kids in the same time that I've got nowhere.

Cos, you did really well to meet up with your pregant friend. It sounds like she's sensitive to your situation though which makes a difference. I know exactly what you mean about being the kid in the playground.

joy good luck with the trigger tonight, hurrah for another step along the way. There is nothing you can do about the follies, it's out of your control (I find that thought comforting - sorry if it stresses you out) and it is in the hands of the fertility gods who I hope have stopped arsing about and are going to pay some attention to the ten plussers. I did at 'handles his rod well'. I wish this wasn't all so stressful. Positive thinking is good although I'm always a bit about those kinds of 'Secret' cosmic ordering style books, just because I can't believe I somehow attracted the kind of awful luck MrC and I had in January - I mean I couldn't imagine having a child and then of course I didn't - but I was also so looking forward to motherhood and I think that's the case for lots of pregnant women. I can't believe we've brought this TTC misery on ourselves through lack of positive thinking. Having said that, positivity feels better than negativity and stress does have bad effects on the body, so I think it's a good idea.

pout I have always thought what a beautiful face you have in your FB profile pic and thought of you as glamorous, so you are clearly a natural beauty. I probably waste a lot of time thinking about clothes when I could be doing something more productive. Also you are never an interloper with us. Ever. I am sorry about the sadness, I think it's inevitable. I wish I could make it go away. You deserve happiness so much.

cos well done on good behaviour, I do think you will get to join in very soon with the other mums. I have heard that it's impossible to OD on progesterone but can't remember what your doc said. Either way, you only have a few more months of the au naturel cycles before you do another round. I think you're so close to this being cracked.

Pout, don't be fooled by my ramblings on here. I like the idea of glamour and style and all that stuff but I rarely pull it off. The thought is there but then I often can't be arsed. I haven't shaved my legs in weeks and will only do it in preparation for my scan. Preening is reserved for doctor visits now.

Lots and lots to catch up on. Firstly where is fox and what news? You certainly were sounding chirpier in the last few posts, hormones really do have a lot to answer for, don't they?

Ugh to AF Ray, I'm sure you remember my various long cycle headf*cks I've publicly spouted about on here. These days my worry is rather that they are getting too short; I'm never happy. Your wine festival sounds fun, great news that this cycle is under way, albeit by err, doing nothing so far! I actually have a good feeling about it, but of course what do any of us really know. It should at least yield some useful information for you, and it's free. If I won the lotto I'd do cycle after natural cycle I reckon. I happen to think you do look glamorous in most of your pics by the way. And very beautiful.

Well done cos on being a good friend, I doubt I could have been so well behaved. Do you have plans, or are you going to give it a few more cycles? Sorry if you said up thread.

Critter you always look very polished to me (you have such beautiful skin!) and I love the sound of your look. These are my current favourite boots although sadly I'm still in muddy wellies more often . I think cancelling the scan was a good move; there seems to have been a more philosophical side to the thread in the last couple of pages. Hope the scan is reassuring tomorrow and that twibling is back on board soon.

Good luck with the trigger Joy and I also think low-dose drugs is going to be better for you. Are you doing acu along side? I hope it's good news on Thursday. Cant' believe an arsehole doctor decided to throw endo in there as another thing to worry you with. What a prat.

Your stay-cation sounds great Pout. I love the idea of a deserted island. If you ever feel like an interloper because of the other gorgeous ladies on the thread, just remember that every picture I put up of my hobble, has me behind the lense in oversized waterproofs and covered in poo!

Loving the pics of Centime Euro, other than exhausting is it still surreal? I honestly can't imagine what it would be like to have a child in the house after all this. She looks so cute :)

Don't worry Buzz the chances of me living in the neighbouring lands are slim, there are way too many nasty creatures there ( I typed Critters initially but then realised that was a bit mean to such a lovely lady ). Your homeland is my preference, also the area that Euro visits and also Gin's family are from I think? It may all be more of an issue than we though dependant on the political outcome next week. This is very scary and real, and I can't give a toss about a Royal Baby. And ladies, honestly, would you want to have Will's baby? Poor Kate, he was so lovely aged 18

So I've emailed Greece, and submitted my order for my baby. I resisted the temptation to insist on Olympic medals and Nobel Prizes. I'm now waiting on a rough timeline from start to ET, so we can work out when would be a good cycle to move forward. Feeling strangely ambivalent about it all. Probably a protection mechanism.

I know I'll have missed lots of people and news so general apologies. Work is very busy so between that and hobbles and other life stuff I don't often have a long break to sit and do a proper catch up. No idea where I'd find time for a baby, to be honest .

xx

Much laughter at only preening for doctors these days ray I admit to finding all that maintenance so boring. That said I am addicted to my new find of Soap and Glory's Flake Away and has made me more inclined to shave my legs!

joy Good luck with the triggering, exciting times I say embrace the positive thought, it can't hurt.

critterI did like the idea of Cosmic Ordering & flirted with the idea for my FET. You've made me think though. You are right that there is no way you attracted such bad luck consigns Cosmic Ordering bollocks to my mental bin
Thank you for your kind words, it's not often at all that I get such nice compliments I agree with nelly in that you always look so naturally stunning & that you have such amazing skin, it is almost luminescent. Your wedding photos were absolutely stunning. You and MrC look like you were on a photoshoot.

at you submitting your baby order. Can you put one in for me too? Alas I cannot forgo the Nobel prize requirement.
Ha at the thought of your oversized waterproofs with poo coverage. Actually that is something (along with very tacky but warm furry Bugs Bunny onesie. Self flagellates for that one) I have stipulated to MrP that I want this year, some waterproofs that actually fit. Currently I have my dead step father's XL trousers and jacket (with smattering of mud not poo I'm optimistically hoping) If he buys them for my birthday however there will be blood spilled. He has already been warned that I don't want an ironing board.

I will be coming back to address posts but I am just coming on to air some neuroses- I haven't been called yet about trigger time. When I called several hours ago they told me someone would call by 6pm and if they didn't just call in the morning. Urggh a bit late by then. Their emergency number doesn't work so just a bit panicky right now.

What tosspots. No wonder you are panicking. Is there an emergency number on their website or on any of the other paperwork you might have? Squeeze
joy

Just the one pout and it doesn't work. Just seems very late now......I am a worrier so I don't know whether I am panicking. But they have told me in the past that latest phone calls are around 6...

Oh Joy for flips sake, is there no end to medical offices' incompetence? But at the end of the day you can't trigger without their say so, that would be pointless. My understanding is, of course, that the timing has to be critical, 36-37 hours before EC I think. (I know you know this so sorry for spelling it out). So if you call in the morning and trigger immediately, that would essentially mean an evening EC on Thursday. Is that likely, do you know? My guess is not based on my clinic. Crikey I'm not exactly helping am I. What I'm clumsily suggesting is that perhaps they've decided you'd be better left to Friday EC? Keep trying the emergency number or perhaps post on FF to see if anyone else has other contact details? I'd also leave an urgent voicemail on the answer machine on their main number. At least if the worst case scenario is that they've totally messed up, you could say you did everything you could from your end.

Oh I hope someone calls eventually and you have to rush to the fridge and shoot up. I'm so angry on your behalf.

Bugger...I don't know what to suggest. Is this the same clinic as other ten plussers who might have a different number or maybe start a general thread to ask for alternative numbers? What is the number doing when you dial it. Is it just unrecgonised?

Were they adament trigger was supposed to be today. Is there a chance the think you don't need to trigger today?

x-posted nelly Good advice about leaving a message on the main number. That way if someone is in the office early and deigns to check their messages you might get a call back before 9am