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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after MC; hand holding, hugs and lots of things that can JTFO!

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 23/07/2014 07:45

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

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Monten · 14/08/2014 10:38

Hi ladies, I have the hangover from hell. Went out with work friends, one of those nights when everyone is just in a really good mood and the evening takes off. I feel like death but it was SO nice to just completely forget about everything ttc related.

Anyway, sounds like I have missed loads!

marma8 I’m at my desk so I cant exactly look at that picture – sounds exciting! Are you poasing on a frer soon? English thanks for that soy info, sounds very interesting. I am going to wait a couple of cycles to see how it settles down first. The 70% of people getting their bfp on first cycle is mighty tempting tho!

blink how is the Facebook ban going? I logged on this morning for the first time in weeks and the first thing I saw was a birth announcement and pic of a newborn baby. The child of someone I don’t even know in RL anymore, and will likely never see again in my life. Case in point why FB is toxic right now. Urgh

Treacle so sorry to hear you’re still not feeling well. I really hope you get some answers soon.

oneday well done! I know exactly what you mean about the blissful ignorance. I think that’s why I don’t like to poas too early, the possibility I could be pregnant keeps me going longer. Everything crossed for you for saturday

alwayswaiting welcome, you will find good support here.

Gail that’s lovely news, congratulations.

officelady · 14/08/2014 11:20

Morning ladies, just thought I would pop in and say hello. AF got me yesterday as expected, but it is much more like my pre-mc periods so that has got to be a Good Thing. I don't know whether I am officially ttc this month, my most fertile time will be while we are away on holiday in a campervan - not sure I want to be jumping on dh while we are parked in the middle of a campsite in Devon! Grin Blush Also it is not entirely clear if our children are coming with us - if they do, the odds of getting any action will be round about zero! If I'm out for this month, it means I will get to my due date without getting close to a BFP which is messing with my head a bit. I guess it is just another milestone I will have to get over Sad I think I need to start planning something nice to do on that day so that I can have a positive memory as well as dwelling on what might have been. Luckily it's on a weekend so I won't have to put a brave face on at work. Look at me, stressing about this already, it's nearly 2 months away Confused

Gail thanks for coming back and updating us, I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and it all goes smoothly for you Smile

One bit of good news from here - my dd got her A level results this morning, she got 4 A's and is going to her first choice uni. So, so proud of her! Even though it makes me feel ancient! She is so happy, am I am so grateful that I have her in my life.

Marmaladecat1 · 14/08/2014 14:50

Hi all, there was a the same funny faint line again today
I feel pretty rubbish today :(
I'll be FRER soon as lovely gail has sent hers in the post.

Spent the morning at a friend's desperately trying not to think about it!

Marmaladecat1 · 14/08/2014 14:51

Well done office lady's DD! Amazing news :)

Marmaladecat1 · 14/08/2014 14:53

So sorry AF got you office lady

Thanks morten, lucozade hangover fix? It's nice when things just normal for a bit. I completely get that!

So sorry about the baby bomb- it's so hard :(

Hope you feel better treacle

Sorry signal is awful here will try and read more when I have wifi!

Monten · 14/08/2014 16:20

Awww, big congrats to your daughter officelady. That’s lovely news, but wow – A level results - that even makes me feel old! Sorry AF got you but, like others on this thread, I find AF can be comforting in its own weird way, a sign that the body is at least doing its thing.

I’m STILL waiting on my karyotype results. That’s been 8.5 weeks. Phoned on Monday, was told a doctor would call me back. No one did. Phoned again today, spoke to a nurse, who did the verbal equivalent of shrugging her shoulders and telling me I just had to wait. No idea how much longer they would be. I’m not expecting any ground breaking revelations but I would like to know. Will just have to be patient, just like with bloody everything!

I’m thinking of buying a CBFM for next cycle. Who recommends them? I’m worried because OPKs haven’t picked up a surge so would the machine? They’re pretty expensive!

BlinkAndMiss · 14/08/2014 21:33

Evening everyone :), I'm on day 5 of flashing smileys. It's actually really winding me up now! I've also tested in the afternoon with the clearblue sticks that just show a solid smiley when it detects the surge but they have been negative yesterday and today so I don't think I've missed it. Thank you so much for the information and the PDF link sebsmummy, that's helped me loads and does clarify my understanding. I think I'd be better off with the dual hormone one and cheaper ICs for the afternoon. From doing the smileys in the past I know my surge is fast, I was testing twice a day and only got smileys in the afternoon. They be gone by the next day! Very much appreciated :).

monten the FB ban is gong ok except I checked it by accident when I sat down this afternoon! But I quickly got rid of it again, I didn't look too much. No baby announcements but it's only a matter of time, I do feel a lot less uptight without it today. Maybe it's the feeling that I'm in control of something to do with my feelings though, I can't control my feelings and emotions about tcc and miscarriage, but I can control not feeling like crap because I've compared myself to someone else. I also feel less guilty, FB often makes me feel like I'm intruding on people's lives a bit. I will be logging back in for a cause on the 24th - a friend is doing a tribute to her friends little boy who died, it would have been his birthday. It almost made me cry when I read it but she has requested that everyone puts their profile picture of a heart made out of anything and everything and then uses a hashtag label so that they all show on one page for the little boy's parents. I can't miss being part of that, those poor parents.

Well done on avoiding poas oneday! Very impressed :), I wish I had your strength but unfortunately it's become my hobby. It's funny how this just used to be something I'd heard about, now I'm living it.

marmalade that sounds like good news! Feeling rubbish is a good sign, weirdly enough. I have my fingers crossed for you, please po another s soon and share it with us.

I just want my solid smiley, seriously - I don't have the stamina! We've decided to DTD every other day until I get a solid smiley. I'm not convinced it's going to happen this cycle, it's my wtf cycle so perhaps I just need to wait it out. Who'd have thought trying for baby 2 would have descended into this chaos. I'm sure none of us ever imagined we'd be here with the experiences we have.

I hope everyone is feeling well, I have had cramps for 2 days now. My back hurts and my pelvis feels heavy, I also have pinching on both of my sides where I imagine my ovaries are. I think there is something going on so I just have to hope that ovulation is right around the corner. I'm being very impatient, I'm on cd 14 now so it's not like I'd expect to ovulate before this and it's straight after the miscarriage so I'm not sure why I'm expecting so much.

Marmaladecat1 · 14/08/2014 21:42

Hi all, I'm out.
Had my cry, trying to convince myself that this is a good thing that the drugs to bring the bleed on worked so my ovaries must work!
That once lovely Oneday's soy thingys have arrived they will work and I'll get my bfp on Gail's FRER!

I feel really sick and I haven't properly come on yet so there is a silly part of me that thinks there is hope.
This is the most horrible journey with no clear end point of amazement :(

Marmaladecat1 · 14/08/2014 21:45

blink sounds like OV?
monten waiting, I can't even think of the right words that fit the shitness of it. Have virtual late night Wine with me.
There is an infinity bottle of this wine at the bar, help yourselves ladies. clearly AF has made me mad

SunbathingCat · 14/08/2014 21:46

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SunbathingCat · 14/08/2014 21:52

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MademoiselleG · 15/08/2014 00:36

Hello all. I'm tentatively re-joining you as I've now had a solid smiley after quite a few days of flashing ( English I had at least 5 days so dint panic!).

I had a TFMR exactly one month ago and I can only understand the longing for a pregnancy and the minefield that is leaving the house in case you bump into pg women or newborns, as well as the dangers of fb (I don't even think I can see anyone anymore on there, I've 'switched off' everyone with bumps or babies or newlyweds - precautionary measure...) or the 'surpriiiiise' text messages that we really don't want to hear about. Just to reintroduce myself a little: our baby was diagnosed with a v severe health pb at the 12w scan in June. It took nearly 3 weeks to get an actual confirmation and when we sadly got it and could take in the full scope of the difficulties our child would have to face for the rest of its potentially very short life, we decided to end the pregnancy. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Well, alongside visiting our baby at the mortuary in hospital. Or having the cremation. Or having to go back by myself to pick up the ashes. Or burying them under a cherry tree we planted this weekend. It's been a fucker of a last 6 weeks to be fair and the thought of having to start all over again makes me sick with dread and anxiety.

So hello, fellow sad ladies and apologies for the downbeat post but CHEERS to all of us because we are still standing. And we will get our babies - and not just a bfp.

officelady · 15/08/2014 07:22

Hello again mademoiselle, I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely thing to plant a cherry tree in memory of your baby. You are very brave to be back in the saddle so quickly (although I completely understand why - I had an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again straight after my mc).
Blink I didn't ovulate at all in my wtf cycle but that's not the case for everyone - I admire your stamina dtd every other day! At my age I'm lucky if I can muster the energy for twice a week Grin I have to tell myself it's quality not quantity Wink
Monten I hope you get your results soon. The waiting must be horrible! Will they call you in for a chat about them, or do you just get told over the phone?

I'm off to stay with my dad for a few days, I used to so look forward to going "home" in the summer hols to visit, but since my mum died 2 years ago it just isn't the same Sad I know my dad does his best but he is slowly turning my childhood home into a bachelor pad (well not quite, but it's definitely losing the signs that a woman ever lived there). And when I go and look in the fridge or the cupboards it is so sad to see just a few little bits of food, whereas when mum was alive it would have been bursting with her home cooked pies and cakes and lovely fresh fruit and veg from her greenhouse.

Anyway, enough of this wallowing! The sun is shining here so I am going to be positive and send lots of posifrickentivity your way! Have a lovely weekend everyone.

BlinkAndMiss · 15/08/2014 07:22

Argh day 6 flashing smiley - come on! Just wanted to shout at it's smug flashy little self. Although at least it's showing something, I still have all of my usual ovulation symptoms. When I checked back to last month I didn't ov until day 22, I thought things might happen sooner this month because of miscarriage but maybe not. I'm just going to keep testing!

marmalade big hug, I'm sorry you think you're out for this month. Give it a few days, especially if you still feel sick. Fingers crossed for you.

Absolutely, sunbathing it does put things into perspective and however bad this is there are always worse things to go through.

Oh madamoiselle I'm so sorry for your loss, that is so tragic. I don't have any words of wisdom but you'll be in good hands on this thread. CHEERS to you too! you are still standing and after the 6 weeks you've just been through that is an amazing accomplishment. Wishing you all the luck in the world, this is not a pleasant journey but at least each day brings us all a step closer to our final goal.

Got so much on today, and the prospect of seeing many babies and bumps so I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest. But then today will be over and tomorrow will be better :) I hope!

BlinkAndMiss · 15/08/2014 07:25

officelady I fear it may kill me. Or my poor DH, at least I'm off work he has to go to work and he's exhausted. I'm sorry about your mum, that must be difficult seeing how the house has changed. I hope you have a lovely few days anyway.

Monten · 15/08/2014 08:57

Welcome madamemoiselle, so sorry to hear what a terrible time you’ve been through but glad you feel ready to try again and have found us all. We are a nice bunch, we quite like swearing and peeing on sticks and everyone understands exactly how you are feeling. I had a tfmr too, it was the hardest, and scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I like what you said about getting our babies, not just our bfps. Quite right.

officelady I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. My dad died four years ago and what I never expected/anticipated was how it would change the family dynamic. It wasn’t just that he was gone, it was that my whole family felt different. Going ‘home’ just magnified that by a million, somewhere that had always been my sanctuary just felt totally different. I feel like I’ve grown up more in the last four years than in my entire 37 years on this planet. Big hugs for you.

marma I’m so sorry AF arrived but if its still very light you never know. Fx for you. I love the idea of the infinity Wine, I was too hungover to partake last night but I will indulge this weekend Grin.

Well, af arrived here too this morning Confused. Eight days earlier than expected on CD27. This is actually good news because a) it means maybe I just missed my lh surge completely by testing too late so perhaps did ovulate after all and b) I knew I was out this month anyway so I can just get on with next month now. My pre TFMR cycles were 35 days like clockwork, they then went to 30 days, and now post-MC they are 27 days! I don’t mind, but it does mean I now have a potential two-week ovulation window I need to plan for! Luckily it’s when we are on hols. Poor DP, he doesn’t know what is going to hit him. Best not to warn him I reckon, ignorance is bliss Grin

p.s has anyone see that thread in conversations of the day about ‘fun’ ways to announce a pregnancy? It’s taking all my willpower not to go on there and tell people that making cupcakes with baby on board on them might not go down as well as you hoped with someone who has just had a miscarriage. In fact maybe I will…..

Treaclepie19 · 15/08/2014 08:57

Hello mademoiselle, sending lots of big hugs to you. You have been through so much. I hope you get your baby soon xxx

Me and DH are off today to our wedding venue for 2 nights for our anniversary (tomorrow)
Cannot believe it's nearly been a year!

Will read back properly when on a computer, my phone is being silly!

OP posts:
Marmaladecat1 · 15/08/2014 09:08

Have a fab time treacle
Oh mademoiselle I'm so so sorry for your loss and having to go through that. The ladies here are truly wonderful. Even if you pop in and out like I do!

Marmaladecat1 · 15/08/2014 09:13

monten you should tell them about their bloody cupcakes!
Sorry AF came, at least you can have a really good time on your holiday Wink

Well I have no idea what's going on. Boobs hurt- like a burning type always there pain.
Still feel sick and just have brown/pink discharge tmi sorry!
Not cramping. Hmm.
Instinct says I'm out.

BlinkAndMiss · 15/08/2014 09:29

Definitely tell them Monten, it's taken me all my willpower not to open that thread. I know it will just wind me up and I'll end up posting something mean Shock. The whole announcement thing is ridiculous, I know everyone has a right to be happy but I don't see the need for more of a big deal than a 'congratulations' from the people around you who are happy for you. I felt this way far before any issues with miscarrying.

I just don't know why people want more from the people close to them, surely knowing they're happy for you and actually being pregnant is good enough!?

Mslad · 15/08/2014 13:06

Oh Mademoiselle I think I remember you from the new year baby thread (which I have avoided since my mmc) - I'm really so very sorry to see you here and read about what you went through. I hope this ttc period will happen quickly for you and you get your baby soon. Thanks

SunbathingCat · 15/08/2014 13:20

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SunbathingCat · 15/08/2014 13:21

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Monten · 15/08/2014 13:27

I haven't posted on that thread but I did reply on this one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/a2159639-A-question-for-people-who-are-against-facebook-announcements?msgid=48904312#48904312

MademoiselleG · 15/08/2014 14:48

I