TTC after MC; hand holding, hugs and lots of things that can JTFO!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

That sounds positive smiling. Fx it's nothing bad and your scan will show everything's developing normally.

Hi everyone, not been able to post since I introduced myself! I am here though and been trying to catch up with the thread.

smiling that sounds very positive! my dr is usually brutally honest about things and IME they give the worst case scenario. I have my fingers crossed for you, just the thought of being pregnant scares the crap out of me right now so it must be so daunting but lovely to be pregnant. Stay positive :).

Congratulations to bitchpeas, great news!

giraffe I think we are in similar positions. My friend is pregnant and due the same time I would have been. It's just not something I thought would ever happen to me, I still feel really sad, it's only been a week though and I'm desperate to move on.

I bought an OPK today, it's a dual hormone one by Clearblue and gives a smiley face - it's supposed to indicate high and peak fertility days. Do they actually work?? I've never used one before, I thought it would be a good idea to see if/when I ovulate this cycle as it's the first since the miscarriage. I'm not overly hopeful of conceiving this cycle but obviously I'm going to try. My dr told me it was fine to keep trying because my miscarriage was so early, but then the dr I spoke to a few days later who have me my test results said to wait. So I'm confused, what advice has everyone been given? Mentally I feel ready, I just want my body to be ready!

How is everyone feeling? I have my ovulation cramps but as my OPK said 'no' I'm thinking it's just my body getting back to normal. I'm currently cd9 and feeling very impatient.

bitch That is fab news, congratulations! May this be your sticky bean

blink Did they find a reason for your mc? In my experience, if you feel well and recovered both physically and emotionally, then there is no real reason why you should need to wait to start ttc again. When was your mc, have you had af again since? Doctors tend to recommend to wait to ensure that have recovered, and also for dating purposes. But you can judge best when you are ready.
Yes, the Clearblue monitors do work - I have one as well, and they are a useful gadget. Mine has made me discover that I have started ovulating earlier - I used to be bang on CD13/14, but recently, it sometimes happens as early as CD10/11. Had I just been using the sticks, I would have missed that, had I just been using OPKs, as I never used to test that early with them.

tori It could well be that you are ovulating - have you tested again to see if you are still getting a bfp? I think that your body can go into overdrive after a mc, and it's not unusual that you might get af again exactly 4 weeks after the medical management - I've had this a couple of times, my body just seemed to think that the mc was CD1 of a normal cycle. And I've also had tons of ewcm in the WTF cycle. In spite of everything, our bodies can be pretty amazing, in how they deal with the sh** that is a mc.

smiling hang in there! You have everything going for you! It's an awful feeling, but at least you have your next scan very soon.

I am feeling very tired and am in a horrible mood since yesterday, so I'm thinking that af is going to make an appearance soon... Expecting a big dip in temps tomorrow, it just feels too familiar. Sigh.

Hi JB, no the dr just said "one of those things" and that they would only consider looking into reasons if it happened at least three times. It certainly doesn't feel like "one of those things", I'm not sure I'll ever recover emotionally from it as it was such a shock. It's not like missing a bus or losing your keys is it!? They're things I'd define as "one of those things". Gahhh.

But I'm seriously praying that things don't go as far as having to be investigated, I don't mean to sound insensitive to those ladies who are going through that right now - it's me, I'm not strong enough and neither is my marriage (we're rock solid but we've had our share of medical stress over the last few years to the point of it being better for us to not uncover anything and just have our one DS).

Thanks for the info on the monitor, I'm using the disposable one at the moment but it detects the 2 hormones - I think it's middle ground between the sticks and the proper monitor, I would have gone all out and bought the monitor but DH nearly fainted at the price ha ha! I'll sneak back and get one for the next cycle though. I've just given it a go now, negative of course on cd9 but at least I know it works. I'm just going to test every day until I see it turn positive or until AF arrives. I think it's important for me to feel like I have some insight into my cycle right now. My Dr said to treat the first day of MC bleeding as cd1, the miscarriage was very early so she said that my body will just think it's having a period. I'm not holding out for a BFP (although that would be amazing) as I think I'm setting myself up for disappointment if I think it will happen this soon. My miscarriage was 9 days ago, which is incredibly recent I know. I think I'm desperate for it to be in the past so I can forget about it, it's my way of not dealing with it.

When was your MC if you don't mind me asking? I know it must be disheartening to think that AF is on her way but remember you're not out until she shows. I hate waiting, I'm the most impatient person in the world.

Tori have you tried the sticks to pinpoint ovulation? Might take some of the guess work out?

blink Oh, my mc was back in May, but this is the first cycle of us officially ttc again! So everything is possible... My temps are still high, but they could crash any day now. We'll see. It won't be the end of the world if AF arrives, it's just that I am so totally fed up with ttc and everything that it entails. If it wasn't for this baby that I so desperately wish for, I'd given up ages ago.

I've done the duel hormone ones a few times blink, I gave up on them because I got so many flashing smilies! It's not much help if you get them every day for two weeks - it's not really pin pointing much!

jb - what is a high temp for ov? I've not done if before, did this month as acupuncture lady told me too. No idea what I'm looking at though! Up and down all over the place!

Flashing smiley this morning :), but Dulcet I'm hoping it's not the start if a two week smiley marathon! If they don't work this cycle then I won't waste my money on any more.

I haven't tried temping but that will be my next missions after this.

**mission

Another pos opk this morning but CBFM says high. I'm back to thinking I'm broken again

Get on it blink! The stick has spoken!

Could the opk and CBFM be looking at different levels of hormone seb? If the opk is more sensitive than the CBFM it makes sense that one would show positive before the other. No idea if that is true though!

Dulcet I'm starting to think the opks are false positive as I was using FMU and having googled it there seems to be a lot of people getting multiple positives and others saying it's because the urine is too concentrated.

So I'm going to scrap those readings and going by the clearblue sticks and previous cycle sticks I ovulated yesterday. Will keep shagging just incase though.

Fucking hell I thought all this technology was meant to make things easier. It doesn't!!! It just throws up more questions than it answers.

Oh yeah, it defo causes more questions! Go with what feels right, maybe the two methods is too much at the same time.

I been trying temping this month but I'm just staring at a page if random numbers making a graph that is all over the place! That's has absolutely given me more questions than answers!

JBrd here, I have name-changed!

With OPKs, you are not supposed to use FMU, as far as I remember. The hormone they detect is not being made during the night, but the day, so ideally, you need to poas after 10am or later in the day or evening, to get a meaningful result. No idea why the CBFM needs to be used in the morning, I guess the technology is more sensitive, and it also looks at 2 different hormones.
So the false positive could be due to that - maybe.

With temping, you need to determine for yourself what is a high temperature around ovulation time, as the actual numbers are different for everyone! It's the increase in basal body temp that you're after, which occurs when you are ovulating. I can highly recommend temping, it taught me a lot about my cycle! Plus, you can spend lots of time staring at charts
Having said that, I temp, but also use OPKs and a CBFM. There is no such thing as too many gadgets...

I now just feel really sad tearful so I don't want to have sex anymore. We were meant to DTD this morning but I can tell OH doesn't want to and I don't have any sexy in me right now to gee him up so sod it all, it can all just fuck off.

Morning all,

Glorious weather here ... really doesn't help raise any spirits.

Glad everything went okay at the Drs smiling Rest up and look after yourself. Fingers crossed for the scan on Weds too.

Blink I used the dual hormone opk's for the first time this month. This is my first AF after MMCso just wanted to check what was going on. I started testing on CD7 as the packet advised and got one empty circle, then three days of flashing smilies then a solid smiley which put me as ovulating on CD12. Before my MC always ovulated on CD14 so very different/earlier for me but when did dtd lots round that time thanks to the flashing smilies. I'm also temping too for the first time this month which confirmed a big temp dip on Cd12 so it looks like the opk's are accurate (for me at least) very expensive though!!

Oh sebs like you say technology is supposed to make this all so much easier. The cb dual hormone opk's I've used definitely say to only use FMU which I thought was strange as I've read with other opk's you should test in the afternoon?

On the packet mine says to use FMU, but then again it also says not to use it at all if you've recently been pregnant. Oh well, rules are made to be broken lol! I'm just using them to figure out what's going on with my body this month. Oneday temping alongside OPKs is a good idea, it does look like it's working for you, keep going! I'm just trying to ignore the cost for now, I'm hoping this is a means to an end rather than a long term predicament. Positive thoughts and all that.

sebs don't give up! I agree that it all seems so planned and unsexy - there is very little to enjoy about this time. But, you have to keep the eye on the end goal. I know it's easy for others to say but when you're down we're here to boost you up again - and vice versa. Have a chat with your DH, it might help. My DH was like this last month, we had a huge fight about it. Then I was pregnant and he was happy, then we had the miscarriage and he is being very non-committal about the whole thing. It seems easier for them to 'forget' about for times during the day, but not so much for us as we're constantly trying to second guess our bodies. I know I'm going to have to persuade him today, and it doesn't do my self esteem any good at all.

Has anyone been using an app? I've been using Ovia which seemed fine last month as it highlights your fertile days, when I added a positive OPK it changed it - then I fell pregnant so I guess it worked. But this month I've just put in a positive OPK and it's changed my fertile window to the past 4 days, according to this I'm nearly at the end! It's obviously because the flashing smiley indicates the lead up and the app is only interested in the actual day - I'm not going to put in a positive until it's a solid smiley to save having that anxiety again.

Yeah I do agree that all this technology does make life harder. But it's like an addiction and I can't stop, I can feel myself being pulled towards the shop to buy a digital thermometer and some graph paper...

Sorry you're having an awful time sebs, sometimes DH doesn't make things better but you two will be fine in the end there is always hope.

I love the clearblue sticks with dual hormone indicator, they have worked for me, when I first started using them I conceived within four months and this time around after first AF after mc, I conceived quickly. Even when I had about 8 flashing smileys and no solid during my first pregnancy, I was pregnant! We dtd every day just in case but it can be frustrating so I think it's definitely an investment.

blink I used ovia before my mmc and did like it but I'm now using fertility friend and much prefer it. Especially if you are looking to temp, the charts on ff are really good.

Hi hope hope you're keeping well?

It's rubbish isn't it Sebs - I felt like I was some kind of sex pest when my flashing smiley appeared and I've never felt less in the mood in my life - I'm pretty sure I must have come across as some kind of porn star I was so fake!

I'll bob my chart up if it'd help Dulcet your temperatures will be different but it may help give you a clue. Fertility friend had a good tutorial in charting - it's a free ap

Boozle and sebs - that was me today. DH did laugh at me and we DTD anyway but I don't think 'sex pest' has been the ultimate goal in my life.

I'll take a look at FF.

Hope everyone is ok tonight :).

Hi ladies - been at a wedding this weekend. Was fun but so many babies!! Real tiny ones too, like a blinking nursery.

sebs hope you are feeling a bit better. It's so hard isn't it. I've been through some bad shit but this is by far the hardest. I hope you're okay, sending hugs.

boozle at sex pest.

I'm feeling very disheartened here. Still no positive opks, cd19. No ewcm. Thought perhaps ov was just late but now cm has gone milky, which means I'm entering luteal phase doesn't it? So disheartened.

Oneday I am good, how are you? I think now I'm kind of accepting that I'm pregnant and I do talk about the baby. When I first found out I refused to mention it. 12w scan booked in for sept so lets wait and see. every stage of pregnancy and mc is so hard. It's one hell of a ride.

Monten I went to a wedding today and all I can see was cute little boys everywhere... So hard