Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Thanks Wilma and pis ill just go for it all month and hope for the best. Mind you I saw your stats from Glastonbury and I don't think ill top them!

Glad things are moving forwards lil

Welcome lauren!

congrats zing, wonderful news! Love the name too.

Sorry for bfn purple, hopefully it's just too early. fx for you

Did anyone else get that crazy storm last night? I woke up to thunder and lightning at about 3am and had to do a mad dash outside to put the cover back on the rabbit hutch. They didn't seem too bothered and were happily watching the lightning from their bedroom and munching on hay!
Had to grab the washing in too because I didn't fancy the chances of it blowing off into neighbours' gardens! Could have been embarrassing...

Have started to get the usual run-up-to-af symptoms so am not holding out much hopes for this cycle being the one. Have got a spa day booked for 1st August though come on law of sod, do your stuff

I didn't hear any thunder mini but the rain was loud enough to wake me up (I've slept through smoke alarms before now)

We had the most horrendous thunderstorm too, kept me awake so I feel exhausted today

Does anyone else feel like a walking sperm bank? I feel like there's so much if it now swimming around my ovaries.

No?

Just me then...

tabby that sounds like icing pains? I've got stabby ovary feeling in my side and achy boobs

lil I'm so pleased for you that you've got some positive news and can look forward. I laughed at Mr Lil foaming at mouth.

splodge a gentle hooya for you, it's totally understandable to be symptom spotting we are all guilty of it! but concentrate on keeping that cape in place just in case!

purple you're not out til the witch surfs in on her crimson wave, fx!

Lots of thunder and lightning last night here, Me La saw it but I slept through ear plugs in place to block out his bloody snoring

Lala I did start feeling that way...

Hi and welcome lauren

Hooya! splodge a gentle one though.

Congrats zing Beautiful name.

Great news lil Its all about getting the wheels in motion.

Im at work bored working hard. Honest.

Thanks girls. Don't know what I'd do without you.
Lol at the sperm bank comment, yes I felt that way too during icing week!

Congratulations Zing, gorgeous name!
Lala I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel that way!

before

Thank you so much for copying in my message about Elijah's birth, very sweet of you!
My thread is in childbirth "ZingBaby is coming soon..." should any of you fancy reading through.

Yes, he is finally here and he is just adorable.
He is quite chilled and seems to be feeding ok so despite the heat and discomfort and exhaustion I'm happy and we are ok.

Thanks for lovely messages.

Hello mummy zing

give your little squishy one a special big cuddle from us all. I for one am whetting Elijahs head this evening

purple when is AF due? Im sure you mentioned it up thread but I can't find it. Anyway your not out yet! Lots of luck to you.

I've had cramps for 2 days. ERTD not due for another 6 days so I think the witch is being a mega bitch this cycle.

Aww zing how lovely
AF due tomorrow. Still symptom spotting. Don't know whether to POAS in the morning or hang on til Sunday if no witch.
BFNs just upset me, I was distraught this morning
TTC is making me more highly strung than ever!

DH is refusing to js because it is "too hot"even though I have explained I think I iced today and the morning might be too late. I am so annoyed I have gone to sulk in the living room (this has the side benefit of being about 5 degrees cooler than our room)

Morning viroids!

purple why not wait until you're late then test?

How's everyone this morning? I had long sleep and feel amazing! Very rarely get to sleep for long these days.

Morning viroids
Lala I just had that same conversation. If no witch today I'll test tomorrow. I was testing before as I went out last night and didn't know whether to drink. As it is I had 3 drinks and came home. Not in the mood!
I feel like my life is on hold to some extent. Whenever making long term plans, I'm thinking about what if I'm pregnant, what if there a baby, what if still nothing

purple don't put life on hold. make a balance. if I had avoided flying, jacuzzis, drinking, camping etc etc because I could have been pregnant the last 2 years would have been very dull. instead I've been to cape Verde, Cyprus, Cornwall, London, a spa in warwick, have a holiday in Ibiza to look forward to later this year, have ditched my job and set up my own business. if I'd not done any of that I would be far more unhappy than I am now. I started off doing nothing just in case, even contemplated not trying for a couple of months around when the timing would've hit my friends wedding last week. you can't live like that for very long. its not living.

wow I sound preachy. but as im the longest standing non upduffed jser currently around (I think only bear and Essie "outrank" me now) I'm going to allow it

I totally agree with lil and think she' has a great outlook. I am KICKING myself for not having got Glastonbury tickets and missing an amazing weekend coz I thought I'd be pregnant. I think the more you stress and let it take over your life the more stress you out on yourself which is unhealthy for you and is unlikely to help with ttc. Plenty of people drink and have no idea they are upduffed. Obviously if you know you're pg then that's when to take responsibility for drinking and lifestyle. But putting your life on hold will make you miserable.

Cutting down if you're a binge drinker is a good idea for health, whether your ttc or not. But a few drinks with your mates on a weekend is not going to harm you, plus you'll get to chat to your mates and get some support - or forget about it for a night - whatever you feel.

Testing before you're due is always a temptation but I think it's better to wait until you're actually late I don't hollow my own advice by the way but how wise do I sound?!. I've wasted hundreds of pounds on tests that were too early as it's been over a year now.

Fx for bfp when you do test!

*follow

Bloody autocorrect you can't see into my brain stop trying to pretend you know best

Agree with the others - live for now. We had to rethink our holiday plans last time around because I was pregnant. But we rearranged and it was probably even better to be honest.

With DD I waited until I was six weeks before testing (this is how much I like being wrong!). With my mc I hadn't tested yet but there was no doubt. It's only because of where I'm working this time around that I've tested as early as a week late! Fingers crossed for you purple

Afternoon viroids!

Stay strong purple

Tis hot! Been travelling on trains all day, phew!

tis very hot, especially when shagging

Haha Lil ... has Mr Lil still got the raging horn??