Aim your Sheewee, put on your stylish piss hat, grab a Pringles tube and avoid phlegm when DTD, but make full use of your DP's awesome penis! It's Just Shagging part 26

[ZylaB]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 25 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2106014-Dont-risk-sending-piss-by-post-Get-your-BFP-the-JS-way-Slip-on-your-disco-pants-pet-the-full-moon-unicorn-and-get-jizzy-in-all-the-right-places-just-not-the-carpet-Its-Just-Shaggin-Part-25?msgid=48206192" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids?msgid=48205977" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

morning ladies.
why is life so busy at the moment?!

la sounds like getting contraband was a good thing.....maybe you have been stopping too early! keep going with the cbfm and see what happens. you could be having a one off longer cycle created by the wonder that is the law of sod!

I haven't got my cbfm back out. can't be arsed with it. haven't even temped this cycle yet. I did poa opk yesterday cos I thought I should have some ides what's going on but meh. only cd12 and appointment tomorrow. maybe I'll get back on board after that. at least dh got the capes out. if its left to me this month I think we will be useless!!

Yay for chat!

I am feeling really, really queasy right now. And I'm at work and I can't concentrate - so I think I'm going to bite the bullet and go over the road to the Co-Op to get a pregnancy test. Shall I?

lil good luck for appointment tomorrow and I think you're right to not get the cbfm out if it was stressing you out. Keep that cape firmly in place though! I think you're right that I'm icing later and hopefully it will show that - but it's odd as lady at u/s told me I'd iced already and it was this time last month.

commander it can't hurt! How long you been off implant? Took three months for my af to come back after pill. I was so frustrated and fed up that nothing was happening and testing helped a bit as at least I knew either way. Fx for bfp!

Who's due to test next? And zing any news!?!?

Thanks viroids Fingers crossed a few of you will join me this thread.

Commander Yes, do it! Now!

Throw the contraband in the bin and keep your cape on La and Lil

Zing are we allowed to be really annoying and ask every day about baby news???

Nah, negative; I'm just queasy. Everything came back straight away after my last implant but that was Implanon; Nexplanon has messed me about to the nth degree and I'm exceedingly vexed with it. GP won't hear of them not being exactly the same. Grrr!

Still, at least I know now and it was a first for our loos; none of my colleagues would ever have reason to POAS, since they're all men

sorry for bfn commander. That period of time of coming off bc is horrible. It's so annoying that the feelings/symptoms are so similar to pg symptoms! I haven't had any experience of the implant, but when I came off the pill it took a little while for everything to sort itself out. Fingers crossed it all settles down quickly for you.

I just went for my first ever drive out in my new car since I passed my test! It was awesome really scary!

9dpo here and have had some twinges and cramps, but get them every month so not considering them as anything but normal stuff. I might test on Sunday if af hasn't arrived before then.

btw pis - sterling effort! Made me tired just reading that list. And dtd in a tent is proper dedicated

Sorry commander :(

I just re-read that article about JSing Part 18 in the link at the top of the thread - how hilarious! I love how the author is thoroughly shocked that people talk about this stuff. I wonder what she'd make of talk about sending piss by post, awesome penises or jizzing on the carpet?

Mr La was grossed out at the idea of JSing after four days of Glasto. I'm quite happy to do the first couple of days, but there's a point where it all gets a bit icky. pis hats off to you!

Working from home today, love being able to walk out to the garden every now and then.

Aw commander I'm sorry. Any hint of a hormonal hiccup send my body mental - pregnancy, miscarriage, breastfeeding...I often have no idea if I'm coming or going. Hopefully you'll get into a rhythm soon

I just read that article! It's hilarious! So glad to have joined 'the dark side'! Had to offer too much advice to preggers women at work today - was going to wait a bit (after early mc) to get the cape on but that plan's right out the window now. Waiting for him to get home now!

Hahaha Lala !

I showered while I was there (green peace, biomass boiler, lushness) as did DP. We'd have been a bit.... Crusty otherwise

Sorry commander dare I say you're not out until the witch comes? My first test was a BFN.

Fx Commander. Might not be that all is lost for this month :-)

Morning viroids. Nausea is back today and the smell of my coffee is driving me mad. 2 more days of TWOT.
Going to POAS tomorrow, I have FRER
I'm out with girls tomorrow night and I need a drink, have cut right down lately
Keep everything crossed for me. I'm sure I'll cope if I can't drink

Everything crossed for you purple

Here's hoping this is a lucky Fred!

fx purple

I think we should be nagging our zing about this baby....she is our friend, lucky mascot, and unicorn drawer

zing any news!!

Fx purple !

I have sore boobs....which I never get with the witch
Nausea is worse today than it ever has been
Oh god! I'm working 250 miles from home today.
How am I going to concentrate stop thinking about prams and baby names

Thanks pisghetti - although I had pant snot aaaaaaages ago so I reckon the ship has probably sailed this time. Ah well.

Fingers crossed for purple - I had all of those symptoms with DD!

Hopefully purple!

It is blinking hot here...29 degrees, hoping it cools down a bit... both DH and I finding JSing in the heat rather hot (in the sweaty bodies sticking together sense). Not quite managing the impressive efforts of pis!!

Wish it was 29degrees here! PiS you are a hero!my dh has been on nights and twilights for the last 3 weeks, poor boy is knackered, especially as on the few occasions we are in the house at the same time I jump on him.
Had a blood test yesterday to see if there is any vague possibility I could have a bean (CD 92) I know I shouldn't hope ...

It was 30 in our office and you can only imagine the amount of boysweat plus there were workmen doing something to the drains outside and in this heat it was most boaksome. I cannot lie; I am prancing around at home in my pants and not much else.

Bfn on a FRER....gutted
Think I'll do another tomorrow

Hello lurker here! My coil isn't getting taken out for another week so I was waiting until then to post but I saw posters wondering about zing

There's a zing with a live birth thread in childbirth thread!!

Sorry Purple, perhaps it's too early. Fx for tomorrow!

Live birth thread... is that what I think it is??