TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

[Sal1977]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Another one here who would have been due in September... I have long cycles too so everything just seems to take forever. I only have two more chances to conceive before my due date with the baby I lost, and don't know what I'll do if I'm not pregnant by then. (Probably have a complete meltdown!)

My due date was oct.. Ah ladies we will be pg soon, dunno about before our due dates though .. Winter will be hard to get through without our bubbas.

Ah, ladies I hadn't even thought about that. My due date was November but thinking about it, I would be pretty upset and I think it's only natural to be. It puts added pressure and whilst that probably isn't good, I can't see how you couldn't not think about it as a goal, fingers x to all.
Sitting here, I actually feel like AF is coming into town. I am only on CD 19 but really niggly cramp and general blurgh feeling.
If she does come then I on the wine for a few days!!! Every cloud and that!

Metalhead, I'm similar- I was due late August, and with my long (and irregular) cycles I've probably got one more ovulation to go before then. It'll really hurt if I'm not pregnant by my due date!

My sis-in-law is due to give birth in a week; she is firmly hidden on my facebook feed! On the other hand- a colleague of mine gave birth last week. She had a MMC about 18 months ago, and has a DH with rubbish swimmers, so I could not be happier for her- hypocritical much?!

Sorry to just jump on ladies.
Im in tears again :(
My friend has posted pictures of the nursery she has decorated for her son due in august.

I'm seeing her tonight for her birthday and really don't want to go now.
I know I'm a horrible friend for saying that but I can't bear listening to them talk about it non stop.

Hello just marking my place as well on the new thread. I am a lurker as I have been on this thread for over a year - far too long.

Treacle - sorry that you are feeling low. I have avoided so many friends with two kids for similar reasons. Hope you friend will be a bit more reasonable and sensitive towards your feelings.

I'm with you boozle!
Your description of pissing on sticks as a grown up had me laughing!
I had a similar conversation with my DS, who is most confused about chicken eggs we eat and eggs that hatch!

treacle don't feel you have to go. If I was her I wouldn't expect you there.
Ladies, along with not POAS until 14 dpo, may I suggest we ban Facebook. I know it's addictive and part of most peoples daily life, but it's just setting ourselves up for pain in a time where we don't need it. Be kind to yourself x

greysar I know what you mean, I've a friend who told me her little one was IVF. Totally understanding towards her. Normal conceived baby - for some reason I just fail to feel happy for them. It's almost like I only feel happy for people who have felt pain and struggle. How messed up is that?!! Bringing that up in counselling next week and will report back my findings!!!

Hi ladies I hope I can join? I tfmr on 22nd June due to a chromosome abnormality found by abnormalities on our 12 week scan and an amnio test. I was 16w5d when I gave birth to my gorgeous boy. I miss him so much and am dying to be pregnant again with my rainbow baby. Still currently bleeding from the tfmr but looking forward to my next af. I am all prepared with cb ovulation sticks which helped us concieve our angel. I haven't experienced mc but I've felt the same loss I hope you don't mind x

Lou re your ban facebook idea. I haven't been on there for weeks and was an avid multiple times a day user. It's helped me not knowing what everyone else is up to and to concentrate on me, my family and friends that matter

Hello Emily welcome to our little club that no one wants to be in. Pull up a pew and have a good old chat. We are lovely and swear a lot

Hopefully you won't need to be here long but I'm so sorry about your beautiful little boy. Feel free to rant, say daft things (because we've all said or done it too!!!) or even have a little giggle at the swear word of the day.

Thinking of you - big hugs xx

Oh Emily, I'm so sorry hun. Sending you big hugs. You're in good company here, you'll get plenty of support and hopefully a few giggles along the way.

Treacle, don't go of you don't feel up to it, feign illness. You're entitled to feel sad when things like that pop up.

I'm also a 'was due in sept'. Desperately wanted to be pg before then. Second mc out paid to that. Nothing I can do so hopefully my holiday will take my mind off it.

On another note, I just tucked into a chocolate muller dessert. Half way through felt a lump in my mouth. It had gone off!!! Vom!!

emily welcome. I tfmr on May 12th at 16 wks. Ttc at the moment, you are in lovely company here! Time heals. I feel so much better and able to get through each day the more time passes xx

Welcome Emily so sorry that you found yourself here. Your story has brought a tear to my eye, what an awful thing to go through. I hope you find some comfort on this thread, everyone is here to support each other and no feeling/emotion is wrong, just understood. I'm with you on fb-too painful, why do we do it to ourselves?
Treacle be kind to yourself, you have been through a lot, I agree with English feign illness and do something nice instead-be kind to yourself xx

Lou, I'm with you people who have struggled to have a baby are very entitled to one and I'm happy for them. People who have had it easy are another kettle of fish altogether.... I overheard a friend of mine justifying why it was right that she got pregnant with #2 after 1 well timed shag and I miscarried as being because she had previously had a hard life with some boyfriends who had done the dirty on her!! I appreciate that she didn't know how to deal with the situation and probably felt some guilt but I don't see her much now!!

My due date was october, the day before dp's birthday to be exact.

I have booked that whole week off of work and am planning to go on holiday with dp, my friend and her dp. I dont think I can face dealing with real life that week if im not pregnant.

hi Emily im so sorry you lost your beautiful boy x

Sorry again emily xxx

Thanks everyone, I went but it was difficult. She had a perfect bump. Baby kept kicking the table.

DH asked me if I felt baby kick when she hugged me. He doesn't mean to upset me. I wish I could cope with it.

So sorry emily
Please rant if you want to I definitely rant

Oh treacle I'm really sorry, you were in my book bloody brave going! Stronger than I!
Don't be hard on yourself, you did great I'm sure.
It's so hard and crap :(

I also agree with lou re happiness depending on suffering.

Don't blame you smiling
I will try and do the same.

My twelve week scan would have been next Monday, I'll be at work. It's going to be a really hard day. I can't even get it off.

marmalade my 12 week scan would have been next Monday too. DH and I had booked the day off and were (foolishly in hindsight) planning on having a lovely day with a pub lunch. We've decided to keep the day off and plan something fun to do, maybe go to the seaside for the day etc.

Welcome emily

Well hats off to you treacle, bloody brave of you.

Hi ladies, I just miscarried last week and want to know if you all waited to try again or just got on with it. Doc said I shod wait a couple cycles but I hate using condoms and I am keen to try again ASAP.

I have one beautiful 16mo dd. Had one mc prior to her and one after.

Hi [bonbon] im sorry for your loss.

I think most of us ignored the advice to wait and started trying again asap. I certainly did, dp and I dtd 2 weeks after my erpc.

I guess it depends why the dr told you to wait, for me it was just till the bleeding stopped but since I didnt bleed at all afterwards I waited till I was emotionally ready to dtd, even then I still cried afterwards.

treacle you were very brave, I dont think I would have gone at all x

Thank you ladies, i don't know if it was brave or stupid :/
Feel like staying in bed all day today.
I shouldve been bloody 15 weeks yesterday.

Sorry I'm off again!

So sorry bonbon. I'd say the same, it depends why you were told to wait.
Many people are just told for dating purposes.

Oooooh here you all are! I dunno - I take a couple of days off the internet and you all bugger off and start a new thread!!!
Hello newbies, so sorry you find yourselves here, but may your stay be short and fruitful

To the people who are asking whether to wait for a cycle before ttc after mc, the advice I was given was to at least wait until you get a clear negative preg test before getting down to it. Then you will at least know that any subsequent positive tests are from a new pregnancy. Hope that makes sense! Other than that, I think they only advise waiting because it makes it easier to date your pregnancy if it happens quickly (lucky buggers if it does!)

Well, I got an almost +ve OPK yesterday, so I hope I am going to get a positive today or tomorrow and ovulate soon. Have jumped dh with almost indecent frequency over the last few days, so I will be hopeful in the 2ww this month. I could really, really do with some good news in July - it would have been my mum's birthday in a couple of weeks and 31st July is the 2 year anniversary of when she died. I miss her so much at the moment it is like a physical pain.

Anyway, enough negativity. Onwards and upwards ladies! Enjoy the sunshine if you can.