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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Elderberry Pavlovas are tooling up and making plans to bust out of this joint! Evacuation by helicopter by end of September, no berry left behind!

997 replies

barkingtreefrog · 22/06/2014 09:50

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
HowsTheSerenity · 23/07/2014 00:56

Just had a call from the clinic.
One egg was too immature. The other two didn't fertilise.
The whole thing was a failure.

chloechloe · 23/07/2014 05:30

Oh seren I'm so so gutted for you. I know it won't make you feel better, but the first procedure is always a bit of an unknown as they don't know how you will react to the meds. If they tweak some things for the next one it may well be completely different. Take it easy and look after yourself. Hugs.

beaky Rubbish news about the IUI being cancelled. So sorry.

kitten You have every right to be mad, you're doing this together and he needs to man up and do his part. Sorry if that sounds harsh!

Hi to everyone else, no time to reply properly, have to get ready for work!

TheRainDrops · 23/07/2014 07:41

rp fantastic! So glad you got good news (not that anyone was expecting anything but!). Just what the thread needs at the mo I think, so thanks for obliging!! Grin

beaky oh how annoying! Do you have PCO/PCOS or is this a new (and unwanted) development? What's an aspiration??

serenity well isn't that just the shit, but as chloe says they'll be better equipped to make it work next time. Can obviously understand you might not be feeling up to thinking about that yet tho. Have a Wine and two fingers to the world for being a twat, again.

kitten I'd be annoyed too in your shoes. Men really do have it easy on the physical side compared to us! Perhaps (even tho you might not really want to!) he needs a little positivity pep talk?

Catlover2014 · 23/07/2014 08:03

Hi everyone!

I chat with barking on another thread and she suggested I say hello on here [waves to you all].

I'm 34 and DH is nearly 35. We've been ttc for five years and still no baby. Lots of operations and tests and have an unexplained verdict.

Following a hysteroscopy last year I was put on a combination of Letrozole and progesterone and got a BFP but it was a blighted ovum. Tried it again and mc'd again at 11 weeks in April.

Feel very lonely and struggle to cope with bumps and babies. On treatment again and hoping to be luckier but hold little faith.

X

happylass · 23/07/2014 08:10

Oh Serenity I'm so very sorry to hear things didn't work out. Take some time for you and your OH. Sending lots of Berry love Thanks
Also sorry for the IUI getting postponed Beaky. Hopefully those pesky cysts can be sorted for you soon.
Agree with the others Kitten. Your OH needs to realise that if there is an issue with his sperm then the problem exists whether he tests or not. Testing and finding something wrong just means that something can be done about it and you'll be a step closer to getting your baby. In a weird way I'm kind of glad that we do have a known issue. Is somehow better than not knowing why the hell we can't get pg.
Brilliant news on the scan RP so thrilled for you!
Hi everyone else. Have a good day all.

happylass · 23/07/2014 08:13

Sorry Catlover. Cross post. Welcome and make yourself at home. So sorry to hear you've had such a difficult time but you're in completely the right place.

tigerdog · 23/07/2014 09:17

Oh serenity I'm very sorry to hear that it hasn't worked out. Lots of love and berry power to you Thanks

Aw hugs to you catlover that's a long old journey you've been on. Well, come on in and make yourself comfortable in the hammock of hope . You're in the right place for some support to take the edge off the loneliness. I'm 34 (as of today) too Shock but my acupuncturist says categorically its not old! I believe her!

kitten there seems to be a lot of the male ego bound up in the jizz in a pot action but time to explain that you've been through some invasive procedures and now it is his turn to do something towards having your baby. Also, a sperm count can be improved. My oh was average with slightly low motility but after getting his results cut down on booze and started on the wellman vits and now his results are excellent. I still get cross with oh on the booze issue though - I wish he would drink less but he doesn't think he drinks very much at all!

RevoltingPeasant · 23/07/2014 09:37

Seren really sorry to hear that. But this was your first cycle, right? Don't they say that is a learning cycle? I know it is immensely disappointing, but they may now be able to tweak things and get it right next time Flowers

winohhh · 23/07/2014 10:21

Hello everyone, thanks for asking beaky, I'm still lurking in a corner (rocking quietly!). I'm alright, still very anxious about the pregnancy. I'm not sure when that will go. We had our 12 week scan this week (at 13weeks) and all seemed well. I hope that can give some hope to any of you ladies with high fsh/ low amh. Anyway, one day at a time.

I'm still cheering all you ladies on. Sorry to hear such sad and frustrating news seren and beaky. I hope next time is your time.

Happy birthday tiger!

Welcome catlover!

Waves to everyone else.

greatbigbushybeard · 23/07/2014 10:22

Oh serenity that's terrible. So sorry to hear that. As some of the others have said the first time can be an exploratory go. Our fc nurse actually told us not to expect a positive as it's more a try out to see if you respond to the drugs etc. I do remember sitting there thinking WTF, you're telling me all of this is for nothing and what if we'd spent out on it.

Totally second what birthday girl tigerCake just said re sperm being improved but harder to improve egg quality etc. My dh's results were poor- poor motility and motion. He then,bless him, went on internet and found out about a supplement called l'arginine which improves blood flow and reproductive health, totally stopped smoking ( he didn't smoke unless on lads nights) and also took some cod liver oil but the results were better and by the time of our ec were excellent- he was pretty chuffed about that!! Also the thing about sperm tests is that they are a snapshot in time and the results can vary greatly from time to time because it takes 6 weeks for sperm to renew so one bad result doesn't mean they will all be bad. Also the amount of abstinence before a test can affect it too, not too long and not too short. In some ways it's easy having a man problem as there's not much you can do about having low ovarian reserve or egg quality. But I do believe evening primrose oil can help and royal jelly. I think with men half the time they don't want to do it but also they 're just lazy about getting on with it, mine was the same. Just speak to him.

Happy birthday tiger! 34 is not old, it's a lovely age. My doctor said fertility wise there is no big drop off until after 37 which when I was your age made me feel better. You've inspired me to book an outdoor theatre thing tonight too, got a yummy picnic to prepare. Enjoy your bubbles!

Hello catlover barking was right, this is the right place for you. Really welcoming and supportive.

Cysts sound horrible beaky hope they get sorted soon.

I have one of those annoying 'I know a friend' stories to tell you. We haven't told anyone yet that I'm pg and my friend was umming and ahhing over telling me about her friend as was worried it'd upset me. Anyway her friend has been trying for years, been married twice, always knew there was a problem. Had a laparoscopy but didn't work, moved abroad with her husband, still not pg, was ready to do Ivf and now she is pg. She was basically told she had a 5% chance of getting pg. Quite a good story, a lovely person too. You have permission to slap me now.

Catlover2014 · 23/07/2014 12:13

Thanks everyone for welcoming me Thanks

Im still trying to work out who is who and what your stories are, please bare with me while I do!

tigerdog I hear 34 isn't old although I do panic about how long I have left. Fingers crossed we'll both be duffed before 35 comes along!

X

TheRainDrops · 23/07/2014 13:27

hi cat and welcome. Sounds like you definitely need The Berries - can't imagine what it's been like for you dealing with this shite for 5 years! I'm at half that and it's already supremely crapola.
There's a stats list on the first page of the thread - that'll give you a brief synopsis (albeit a bit out of date) for each of us.
I am awaiting an IVF referral in December (when we hit the 'magic' 3 year marker).

Catlover2014 · 23/07/2014 15:33

Hi raindrops sounds like you're having a frustrating wait for IVF then? Are your problems unexplained?

To be honest I've got so close without IVF that I really don't know if I can face it now. Plus my nhs funding for IVF has gone as they won't do it if you've conceived in the last three years, even if it's assisted and even if it ends in mc like mine did. Meh! X

TheRainDrops · 23/07/2014 17:32

Wow cat - that is ridiculously harsh! Which CCG are you under? I was really worried about that myself as I had a natural BFP last Autumn which ended in MC, but they take the view (sensibly if you ask me) that one failed pg in 2.5 years doesn't mean you'll conceive on your own again and that 3 years active ttc with no baby means you need help. Can't believe the ridiculous variations in rules from one CCG to another.

I do know how you feel tho about resisting IVF after getting so close myself, but I am now sort of looking forward to letting medical science take control. I am just so mentally exhausted by it all! I am indeed unexplained, which makes the whole process even more tiresome mentally as you literally obsess over EVERYTHING.

barkingtreefrog · 23/07/2014 18:07

kitten tell your DH to man up and get sorted, it's nothing compared to what you've already done. No sympathy for him I'm afraid!

serenity I am so sorry, how devastating after going through the whole process. I hope you can find things to do to really spoil yourself for a while and take some time out. The counsellor I saw after the IUI mc told me to give myself a break and be kind to myself. I'm passing that advice on to you Thanks

beaky you too, I know how much I got psyched up for the start of the IUI and how stressful it was when the initial scans weren't showing I was ready. To have it all finish before it starts must be really hard to deal with. I really hope the cysts bugger off themselves before the next scan, that can and does happen (didn't it happen to HB?)

cat I told you this was the right place Wink. Previous berries have graduated after mc and we even had a clomid twins graduate so hold out hope - it can still happen for both of us!

Bleeding finally calmed down yesterday, thought it was finally over. Then it started again late this morning just about to leave the gite Shock. If I'm still bleeding tomorrow that will be FIVE WEEKS of bleeding/spotting!! Ridiculous!

OP posts:
beakybeak · 23/07/2014 20:30

Tiger happy birthday! Enjoy your lovely evening tonight!

Thanks everyone for being really kind. I've decided I'm definitely going to do acupuncture and I'm ordering the rainbows plan tonight. Hopefully I can get a fufc in the next while!

Kitten a lot of the guys seem to be very apprehensive. Try and tempt him with the promise of the laminated porn they have in the wank rooms? Grin

Serenity I'm so sorry this hasn't worked this time. It's not the end though. Wine for you.

Welcome Catlover sorry you've had such an awful time, bumps and baby's never get easier eh. Your lack of NHS funding because you've had mcs is awful, that's another disgraceful example of the postcode lottery.

How's the wedding prep going Happy

Wino great that the scan went well, I hope you can relax a bit soon but totally understand why you'd be so anxious, hope the next while flies over uneventfully for you.

Barking sorry your still having this now, after 5 weeks, hope it sorts itself out ASAP for you. Hope your enjoying your hol otherwise.

Catlover2014 · 23/07/2014 20:33

Thanks barking!

I'm sorry to hear the bleeding has started again. You must be so fed up. I think you should head to EPU when you're back home. Hugs x

FeatherFeather11 · 23/07/2014 21:26

beaky sorry to hear about the IUI delay. I think you're right to go for acupuncture. Are you in London? I'll inbox you my lady's details if so. Otherwise I would recommend you find one who specialises in fertility. Flowers

seren so sorry you're going through this. As others have said, be kind to yourself now and have faith that next time will hold out a different outcome.

Happy birthday tiger! Hope you've had a lovely day full of sun and Wine!

kitten my oh held out on testing for months. Had to have a proper go at him to finally get through. Think the fear of the results really fucks with their manhood.

barking so sorry this is dragging out. Hope you are enjoying your hols as much as possible. Flowers

Welcome cat! The berries are amazing and you're definitely in the right place. They're a huge, massive support, knowledgable and, well, you'll see.

happy how are the wedding plans coming along?! Not long now! Grin

Gillster · 23/07/2014 22:03

So sorry to hear your news Serentity. Has your FC been able to offer any advice as how to improve things? It's all such a let down after you build yourself up for so long. Look after yourselves and find something to spoil yourselves.

Bloody cysts Beaky! Another case of building yourself up for something and being let down. When will you know more about a plan of action?

It sounds like your body has been making up for the last 9 months Barking. I'd be pretty hacked off with it all by now. Hope the holiday is going well despite its shaky start.

Welcome Cat! Did you meet up with us briefly in Brum last December? If so I can remember you. I think the long service award for TTC most definitely goes to you. It sounds like you've been through the mill a few times. Make yourself comfy and hopefully some Berry power will assist.

Glad the dinosaur is looking well RP. Can't believe it's 12 weeks already. Good luck for your scan Wino.

Sounds like your DH needs a good talking to Kitten. I have made my DH work from home tomorrow to take delivery of my drugs. I figured it can be his contribution to the FET, given that his one vital role is not needed in this case.

Hello everyone else. What a scorcher of a week! Not jealous of the teacher berries, no, not at all!

IamKuma · 23/07/2014 22:03

Serenity I'm so sorry to hear your news, that really sucks. I'm thinking of you. Thanks

Kitten my DH also put off doing his SA, like feather says, I think they worry about their manhood. Yours definitely isn't unusual by any means; has he been to any appointments with you? Mine was much better about things once he'd been to the clinic with me and understood a bit better what I had been through and still had to go with IVF.

Cat Hello and welcome - everything you need here by way of help, advice, sympathy and companionship!

Tiger I hope you've had a fab day. Glad you enjoyed your choir yesterday.

I'm going to have to stop talking about berries and start talking about felines at this rate Wink

feather can you PM me your acupuncturists details too, please?

FeatherFeather11 · 23/07/2014 22:15

Done, kuma.

beakybeak · 23/07/2014 22:44

I'm north Feather but thanks anyway! There aren't many up here but I've found one who used to be a midwife as well so fx she can help. How are you doing?

Gill will need to be rescanned next cycle to see what's there and if they are gone I can do iui. They are 35mm and 18mm though so they may well still be there, then they will need to be aspirated/drained if so.

FeatherFeather11 · 23/07/2014 22:46

Cool, beaky, she sounds great. I'm good thanks. Trying to keep The Fear at bay. Scan is on Tuesday.

Gillster · 23/07/2014 22:49

I will send you some of my patience vibes Beaky. Hope your cysts follow the behaviour of my "polyp" and disappear by the time of your next scan.

beakybeak · 23/07/2014 23:38

Thanks Gill! Feather fx for a fab scan on Tuesday then Smile

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