Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Well the doctor just called to check in on me after the mc. She's lovely my GP. I didn't cry. I did ask her about DS tummy as he won't drink dyralite (sp). She said that flat coke does the same job, so flat coke it is. I am crossing everything.

Oh goodness me, it never stops, does it?

Hahaha I actually REALLY want to go to that Pisghetti! Ecstatic birth? Clearly made up by people who have never given birth. Yeah it's not so much my age, more the logistics of sorting out the toddler. Plus it's SO far and I am crap at camping. (see, I am a grumpy old woman before my time)! Maybe when MiniWil is 8 or 9 I can take her and be one of the old hippy mums.

Sorry you're feeling crap Kato. Hope she doesn't turn up at all this month.

Oh Before that sounds awful. Not sure there's anything more you can do other than avoid dairy and fruit and give lots of water. Hope he is better soon. We would be in the same situation regarding work so I am constantly crossing fingers that my one doesn't get ill, which so far she has managed not to.

Oh tee, that's crap . It can definitely become a bit of a chore. Rest up for the next week and then get that cape back on!

Zing hello! Loving the new name and sorry about the PGP, things must be difficult with all those minis to run about after. Are you hoping baby may come a couple of weeks early?

Hahaha Gaggia. Prosecco normally just gives me a raging headache but I'll bear that in mind for the future.

gaggia you can put a flag on using the profile edit bit, quids in with Brazil! Columbia not doing too badly so far...

I got a hickey first time me and me la jsed. I was 28, soooo embarrassing.

I love love love glasto - I'm a massive festival junkie, usually go to 2 a year. Didn't book for this year coz we thought if be upduffed. Backfired! Went last year it was ace.

I am so hoping we did enough this month. My best mate just told me she's pg after a month of trying. Delighted for her but feel bit sorry for myself. Feel like a selfish coo.

tee sorry the witch came

Before that is SO nice of your doctor.

Hi ladies! Hope you all had a lovely weekend. Welcome new folks :) I really hope this is a super-lucky fred.

I had my ultrasound this a.m. ... and they were able to see the gestational sac AND the yolk sac! Yes! I am feeling a little less anxious each day, although I know it is still very early. A lot more positive than this time last week when I was an utter wreck.

before I definitely agree that your friend was a bit out of line. That's rough, but I like to believe everything happens for a reason and maybe it's good that your friends circle is in the loop to root you on now?

zyla ha ha re: tired and confused DH. We were at my in-laws last night and they really opened up to us about their struggles to have my DH (four miscarriages, a few months of fertility drugs). Apparently the night he was conceived, my MIL basically said to my FIL after a party, "I don't care HOW tired you are, tonight is the night!" And sure enough, it was.

Freaky: Our tentative due date, Feb. 13, is the same as DH's (even though he was born a month early).

zing you're so close! So exciting. Virtual belly rub that things continue to go smoothly for Sammy. We give the baby a new funny name each week based on whatever item the pregnancy books say the baby is sized at. Last week was Poppy the Poppyseed. This week is Sammy the Sesame Seed. Yes, we have some problems!

I keep x-posting. That's a totally normal reaction Lala, don't worry. As long as you were all pleased in front of her, you're entitled to feel any way you want.

lala you should not feel selfish at all for feeling that way. It's totally normal and natural, and you can tell us lot anything. I went through the same thing when one of my best girlfriends announced her second pregnancy. Only recently have I been able to really get excited and talk/be close with her. I know (at least hope) she understands.

Mmm gelato. My pants are already tight, which is ridiculous as I cannot blame it on the tiny spec of a child I saw on the ultrasound. I read a book on pregnancy nutrition over the weekend and now am scared senseless to eat anything other than vegetables and bland chicken.

Aargh done it again! Great news Red. Will they give you lots of scans?

It' s busy on the fred right now! wil I will have two more, I think, at the clinic before the release me to my regular lady doc. Next is in 10 days to look for the heartbeat (!!).

*they release

red that's lovely! Must be really nice to see that there's actually something there on the screen. Hooray!

Hey Ladies, mind if I join in?

TTC #1 at 31
Cycle #3 hoping that AF doesn't show up on the 23rd as I have positive thoughts.

I've been holding off joining...in case it jinxes me, but its rude to sit in a coffee shop and listen to other peoples conversations without at least throwing out a friendly smile so

Welcome Butterpuff! yes, don't be rude, pull up a bentwood chair!

I just POAS.. BFN. lunchtime wee on an Internet cheapie. Why did I do it?

Welcome Butterpuff

That's easy Kato - because had it been a BFP, you'd have been able to say "you'll never guess how I found out". It would have been a good story. And also because you really want a BFP. It's what makes most of us do similar at one time or another.

Sheesh I'm fed up today. Nothing like cleaning up liquid shit 40-odd times to get me in a bad mood.

It was an IC, in my desk drawer from when I brought some in for a panic-ridden colleague. Only 12dpo, I'm just scunnered. Not liquid shit scunnered though, hope he perks up a bit!

Sorry you got at BFN Kato pesky IC behaving badly.

Euew Before I thought my day was dragging.

I'm off to see a gorgeous 2 week old girl tonight, will enjoy my cuddles and hope that she is lucky for me.

Hi butters and other newbies (I can't keep up - I'm going to have to start making notes before I post)

I think hickies would be a career limiting move! crosses prosecco off the shopping list

I took DS last year wil as it was the last year he could go for free. He absolutely loved it even though he had no idea who the Rolling Stones were.

Ahh you're clearly a far cooler parent than me. Do you live relatively close by? I'm inspired to look into it!

hi Butterpuff, that sounds like a nice way to spend the afternoon. Ah, relaxing in a coffee shop, I remember the days!

Before I feel so sorry for you right now. Not looking like you'll make it to work tomorrow then?

Sorry for BFN Kato, still time yet though.

Busy in here all of a sudden! Can't keep up!! Hello all!

Awesome news on the scan Red

Lol, I know how you feel Pisghetti - I've feel like I've started and stopped the following message a million times to add stuff!

Love the new names lil & Zing

Welcome newbies!

Gaggia - I'm well impressed by your shameful hickeys!!

Sucks about your Dad's Wil & Rpopz I wouldn't worry about not getting in touch though - Father's Day is for celebrating good dads, and it doesn't sound like it's for them!

Sympathies on the evils of AF Kato - it was a serious shock to the system when I came off the pill! I'd gone from lovely little light predictable ERTD to the witch wading in whenever she fancied in force!! Bloody awful. Literally. Maybe this time she's not coming for you though... It could be upduffed bloating!

Hope your little one perks up Before Poor lad! Xx

Great news Red! And Feb is a great month to be born in not that I'm biased Love the name(s) - we've been so unimaginative, ours is just 'baby', lol.

20 week scan tomorrow, so got all my fingers and toes crossed and legs with a full bladder!

Ooh ness good luck for your scan - are you going to find out the sex ?

kato boo, bfn, boo! Still not out til the witch parks up her red convertible.

pis envious doesn't even come close - iwanttogotoglastonburywaaaaaaaaah!

Hi butter great name! Welcome to the now rather busy crazy nuthouse of bfp dreams!

I just stood under a tree for an hour trying to coax Down my idiot cat who was stuck 25ft up it. Cat is now down and there are lots of leaves in my hair.

before that sounds very much like you deserve a glass of x

I have just learned about cervix position!

Im 32 and NEVER knew you can check your own cervix as a fertility indicator.

Is poking ones own fanjo contraband? Im tempted but my finger nails are loooooooooong.

Please advise!

Congrats on the scan red.

Kato internet cheapies are shite, fuck em!.

Good luck tomorrow Ness, will be thinking of you. It was Lala's dad btw, my Dad was lovely, just unfortunately not with us anymore!

Haha I don't think it's contraband Gaggia but I don't fancy it much!

Ha ha! Fanjo. Brilliant . I love this Fred