Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I think wil was mixed up with me. my dads a dickhead.

gaggia I didn't find long finger nails toooo much of an issue if ur careful but I wouldn't bother tbh! I could never tell the difference! ewcm is your best indicator of ov without contraband, and if u don't get much get guzzling the water. a few on Herr have found it helps increase it. grapefruit is supposed to help cm too

oh and good luck tomorrow ness. are you finding out the sex?

red hope its starting to feel real now. when is next scan?

how come you all buggered off when I got here? getting a complex!

lil I rarely get ewcm I'm guessing this is because I don't drink much water, that's a good tip though thank you I'll definitely try to up the water intake.

My sister who is in the June ante natal club is due her first baby any day now. I wonder if that will make me more or less broody.

both in equal measures gaggia! my nephew is both adorable and annoying! when I look after him I do wonder how the hell I'll manage to have my own full time!

Gosh sorry Wil, it gets so confusing trying to read back on a phone and remember who said what!!

Thanks for the good wishes viroids! We already found out the sex, we're having a boy!!

Hi viroids. Been out of the loop for a while. Lots to catch up

Oops, pressed post too early. Nice to hear about all the upduffedness & hi to newbies.

My stats: splodge77, ttc since April 14, 1DS aged 3&1/2.

Gaggia (your name autocorrects to haggis ) I'm 34 and, thanks to you, just found out you can check your own cervix for fertility signs! Might have to have a YouTube tutorial though I'm a recovering nail biter which means I sometimes have long nails and sometimes not. However I'm fairly sure a daily rummage around my cervix will probably cure my nail biting for good.

Signing up before reading the whole thread so forgive me if I balls anything up. We just decided officially to move in together and TTC. I live in a different city and will have to move and basically start a new life with DP, my head is spinning . He already has DC so we will be a family even if I don't manage to pop one of my own out.

Name: Catsofa (the cat was sprawled on me when I had to pick a name)
Age: Nearly 35
TTC As soon as I next see him, it had better be somewhere private!
DCs: He has 2... who will become my DSC! , me none yet but I have a lovely lovely cat who is snoring.

Can't believe I am now eligible to join one of these threads! Very very helpful OP, thank you. Will now go back and read everything up to here, will I have teenagers by the time I've read it all?

What are disco pants?

I'm back! Had no internet, it's been horrible!
Going back to what I said on Sunday, I have the advanced cbfm contraband, and it asked me to keep POAS every day, I'd had 2 highs, then 2 peaks (testing each day) then another high today. I think I'm going to believe it and think this cycles just a shorter one... Which means I've got to organise my bloods for day 21 on monk then we can go get results and see if everything's ok.

I'll read all posts properly later if we still have internet!!

*on mon though bloods on a monk would be a different story!

zyla hope everything goes ok with bloods. Perhaps naughty contraband still getting used to cycle? Bloods should reveal all!

cat welcome! Disco pants = special sexy pants donned at times when cape is fully secured. Modelled originally by kato and now adopted by us all.

ness hooray for a boy! Hope today goes well x

pis have a ferret up your fanjo - gaggia I mostly look at the ewcm for signs of fertility now, it's quite useful! been Ttc almost a year now and starting to get a bit geeky about it

lil I fell asleep!

Hi splodge! Are you properly caped now?

I think if you had the highs first Zyla then it's trustable! Sometimes it goes straight in at peak and then I'd be suspicious. Maybe you ice earlier than you think!

We are very popular this week!! Is it the pissy post??

I think the mention of piss in the post has attracted curiosity!

Question: can disco pants be worn with capes? I am really unfashionable and wouldn't want to make a bedroom faux pa! Does the combination make you look like a superhero...?

lol dulcet. I have to say I thought disco pants were glittery hot pants. "special pants" sounds like something Lacey and crotchless. actually that would probably be more appropriate!

I'd trust cbfm. even when. I've had no highs its been right. even when I didn't want to waste sticks so reentered the sane one for first few days of cycle it was still right! good luck for bloods zyla.

there's a few of us that have been at this over the magic year mark now isn't there. hopefully this is our lucky thread. I've been on so many I've lost count of what number thread we're on. must have a look!

ness have you got any names yet?

spose u should get out of bed

*i

It's my day off so I'm trying to convince myself to get up!
We've had some name thoughts, but nothing concrete yet!

ness congrats on the baby boy! Thats lovely.

pis yeah get rummaging in your fanjo, like you said if it stops you biting your nails it can only be a good thing. Im still too scared to try it. .

I have some rainbow hot pants they are my disco pants.

Can I kick something over please? I am in a rage. The evil witch made her grand entrance this morning.

dulcet superhero name 'Discoviroid'?

kato tell her to bog off stupid witch. Sorry
lil or min who had the amazing anti-witch poem about the convertible? We should reprise this.

Rainbow pants sound great! Sexy pants do seem a bit Jordan-esque and crotchless.

I've got some disco pants but they are not so spangly, perhaps I should go shopping :)

I Have to admit my assumption was that 'disco pants' kind of meant 'your best "jump me" underwear'