Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Saturday AM crew... Just going gang gooly-ing!

I have to comment on the dog poo bag in bin thing guys. if someone put that in my bin I'd be pissed off. its in a bag, carry it home with you and put it in your own bin! Maybe that's just me so I'll be prepared to get kicked off Fred instead but there are reasons I choose not to have dogs!
rant over.

love the Fred title red

there was someone new... forgotten name already I'm useless. and tired but hi! and welcome!

Hi patch! We are a friendly although slightly unhinged bunch.

Gentle hooya purple but fx for first bfp of the Fred!

I also love that piss in the post is prominent on the list of topics - amazing!

So - got lowdown on jiz app from dh. He has to drive jiz to lab which is 40 min from us, to arrive no later than 2 hours after jiz occurs! And we though WE had pressure...

lil what dog poo bag thing? What did I miss??

Just found it on old Fred - aaaah now I understand. I do always feel guilty putting a sweet wrapper in someone's bin, in case they see me and shout. Don't have a dog so never done the dog poo thing.

popz I'm more concerned you let yourself get dragged onto AIBU! What were you thinking!?

Ahhh piss in the post, jazz jabber and a controversial dog poo topic.
This Fred has it all.
Fact!

Morning, I'm off to Florence where I shall be bereft as all that lovely cured meat, booze and soft cheeses will go untasted!

So I shall fill my cakehole with gelato instead.

Oh yeah, stats...

Name: Minion
Age: old enough to know better, young enough not to care. Or 31 if we're putting labels on things.
TTC: for 15 months and one little jingle bell due to be delivered around Christmas time!

Ciao viroids. See you on the other side. X

Have an amazing time min!

Just to pick up from the last fred, Dulce - if a bin is left out on the street, its fair game! I wouldn't go onto someone's property to do it. And I only do it if it means hours of carrying it around otherwise. And that is the last I have to say on the matter!!!

Have a great holiday Min I'm soooooo

Yay! Thanks for the new Fred red - hoping its a lucky one!

Haha. Thanks for clarifying popz! Same thought as lala though, why go into AIBU?! Those viroids are in nasty steroids! And if you are in there you are BU regardless of what you say - someone will disagree.

I see the piss by post has tempted a few newbies in. Welcome! Mostly we talk nonsense but you'll keep up in no time!

When is consultant lil? Did try give you appointment date already or you waiting?

Depends on when your birthday is as to whether you are the baby of the free popz...

Name: dulcetmoans (phone autocorrect to this even though its not a word - well done phone!)
Age: 28
TTC: March 2012 with a gap. 20 cycles in total until...
DCs: none but cooking one for January hopefully. Today in bit so confident though!

Yo!!

Name: Aylesbury Duck
Age: 40
TTC: since Nov 13 #1

Currently in a bad mood due to that bloody evil witch turning up yesterday and a hangover as a result of getting stuck into the wine because the evil witch turned up.

Morning viroids

Bugger about the witch, ducky

AF/BFP due Thurs/Fri. I've dropped a day off my cycle the last 2 months.

Had a chat with someone who used to be a pharmacist and specialised in fertility at uni. She said that as you get older, you miss ovulation and then quite often both sides go in one month. She also said that it can happen later and later in the cycle so to keep JS all month. She knew of peeps who would ice on day 35/5
I feel better now, not buying contraband and vow to keep JS a bit longer and leave the GP a bit longer

Oh yeah, bin has to be on the street and waiting to be emptied, can't go mooching about people's gardens. I don't actually have a dog, but have put wrappers etc in people's wheelie bins before. I think I probably wouldn't care if it annoyed them because if it did, I'd think they were ridiculous. But then I find most of what people get worked up about a bit ridiculous. Life is too short for bin wars!

Have a great time Min, love Florence.

still waiting for an appt dulcet. I hate all this waiting!

just been for a 15mile bike ride. feeling very proud of myself!

Ooof! No JSing for you tonight then Lil

haha no rpopz but then that's not likely as we can't ttc this month. Its going to be hard work persuading dh to have a "cos we want to" shag so I'm saving that up for later in the month when I'm gagging! oh how I wish he had a higher sex drive!

I'm quite enjoying being blissfully unaware this month - no idea when I iced, so don't know if I'm twotting. I presume I must be?

Name: gaggia
Age: 32
DC: 3yo DD
TTC: first cycle

Iced today DTD x3. DP now claims he's not a machine but my cape remains firmly on!

Glad to be here viroids.

3 times in one day!? Bloody hell! Welcome!

Thanks RPopz! DP is fit as fire so I can't resist and TTC is a great excuse. I really hope we can keep it up though. Maybe its the first months excitement.

duck consolation prize for af is getting , but totally get your bad mood and sympathise. Reaching my 1 year anniversary ttc next month. Fx this is our lucky Fred.

Hi gaggia welcome! If I were to dtd 3 times in one day I'd be walking like John Wayne.

Not been able to js for 3 days due to dh shifts, fecking annoying.

Speaking of AIBU I had a wee peek last night popz can't believe you waded in there doll!

Ok I'm completely confused. Most of you know I'm desperate bad and have started using contraband, one month with the cb ovulation test things that you dispose of after a month, it showed I iced and I was happy. Then I started the cbfm last month, according to that I didn't ice, but lots of people have said it takes a while to get used to you, may not pick it up in the first month etc etc.

I'm usually a 34 or 35 day cycle girl (just to give me less chances to conceive each year!) so normally ice around day 20/21. That's what the first kit thing showed me, makes sense, ice, twot, AF =35 days, repeat.

So this month, the cbfm has just said peak on day 14 (like a 28 day cycle girl!) so I have no idea if the machine is confused, or if my body's just screwed up. Luckily we DTD yesterday and will don cape lots next 3 days. But, I'm meant to be doing day 21 bloods this month, should I book them, or just assume the cbfm is still confused, and DTD every other day until AF arrives? Have had a stressful couple of weeks since back from hols, so that could have affected it, but for me usually makes cycle longer, not shorter!

Can the tests be wrong when showing peak? Or not, like a pg test can miss a positive, but not really give a false positive? In other words, are we sure I'm icing cos it says so?

Sorry for long post about contraband, in my rubbish defence, can I say yesterday's DTD was just a cape on for the fun of it cos I wasn't expecting to ice for another week? Does that help? :)

Hahaha and I just woke DH up to tell him I'm confused about the result, and to insist we DTD. He was up watching football last night and is very much still asleep, so sort of mumbled "I'm confused too, can we do it later?"

Lol

Oh, and last night we were discussing if diff positions can improve chances of conceiving, I dunno now much of that stuff is true or not?

Ill shush again now lol and go back to sleep!

zyla I had to laugh at your confused mr zyla sleepily asking if you can do it later. Our guys must think we are mad sometimes. Mine couldn't understand why I was so mad at him for no reason - had to explain the whole icing/shift conflict.

It's possible cbfm not familiar with cycle yet, but is it possible you actually ice earlier than you'd thought? Alternatively I know you can have surges through cycle and some women mistake surge for icing- I read that somewhere. You can have a surge without icing, then another a bit later in cycle when you then ov. Many women stop dtd too early and miss actual fertile period.

Ps zyla reading your post back we are so similar. I'm normally cd20 but this month temperature showed surge at day 14. Very confusing. We just dtd as much as poss and I'm hoping for a bfp

Did you get any "high" days Zyla? Or did it just go straight in at peak?? What does it say today?