New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

I have no idea what that brown thing is!!!

I know it's weird but I feel the need to carry this post to its conclusion, even if it's full of and boozey BESH desperate to get to the end! Has the ever been a non-feemed fred? How would that work? Or should we go with the most positively non beshy type start to a new fred ever and try and defeat the odds with a multi-diff spesh in Jan? Just clutching at straws here!

Blue I have no idea how much iui is supposed to cost but compared to this round of ivf that's a great cost!!

Maybe we should theme the Fred for the future? ....It's 2030, with the World Cup held on Mars and the BESH have their BFP??? (Does 2030 give us long enough you think?)

I'm shit at all the assisted fertility stuff, I know I should know more. Although starting it all soon. Mr Blue has the spaff test booked in late January then see where we go from there but as I predict a long waiting list, if the private clinic will take us £500 may just be worth throwing away for an attempt?? I'm also booking in for a presentation at the clinic on IVF so i may be more knowledgable soon?

Ps. I'm off for the night now so if we go posting crazy and create a new Fred then come find me if I loose you all

Down regging is when you take drugs (I will be taking dexamethasone (steroid, pill) and buserelin (tummy injectable) ) to put my body into menopause. This is so that the clinic can ensure my body is absolutely not producing anything in terms of eggs etc. I will then have a scan/blood test to make sure it's all shut down properly and my womb lining is nice and thin and then I will change drugs to stimulation drugs (fostimon/merional injectables) to super stimulate my follicles to produce lots of lovely mature, evenly sized eggs and to plump up my womb lining ready for implantation. I will also start taking aspirin to thin the blood and help with circulation of blood to my womb and also I will have a couple of intralipid infusions which will help my body to accept the idea of a foreign body apparently. Once my follicles get to a certain size (and I feel like I'm ready to lay!) I will then inject a trigger drug (Gonasi) to trigger my ovaries to lay 36 hours later. At that point I shall be laid up on a table legs akimbo with my doctor food end ready to collect them while TWH does his bit into a jar. Once that's done we then have to wait 5 days, pray to the powers that be, clutch my lucky rabbits paw and hope that we get a couple of good quality blastocysts (after chromosomal testing) which will then transferred back to the safe house (tumtum) and then it's the worst 2ww evuh whilst I change onto a new set of drugs (basically super powered HRT), the extra special and ultra slime/gooptastic fanjo bullets, clexane injections to keep the blood thin (I'm guessing cutting myself with a razor at this point could be messy), different steroids and more intralipid infusions. And time to hope.

Ha - took me so long to write all that you signed off!! Anyway, hope that helped! As this is #3 I'm doing a lot more in my protocol than is strictly usual - hope it doesn't sound too scary for you!

I lied - Im still here (awaiting take away delivery) Thanks so much for that Fab, it really helps to have an understanding of it all - guppy of gratitude to you

sorry sorry sorry, I've returned to being shut I know! I got the BESH alarm tho so here I am! in my defence I have been awol mainly due to a hectic schedule of boozing and eating with clients. still got a few more to go! my liver is nicely on the way to pickled and I can feel a dose of seasonal gout coming on.

on my mobile so can't scroll back as I post so will catch up properly this weekend but definitely on board with offing this Fred. it's lingering like a bad fart.

Next one should totally have some sort of BTTF theme as it'll be 2015, the year of the mythical hoverboard and BESH baybees!

BTTF theme is genius!! Did anyone get to the secret cinema version of that in the summer? It was flippin brilliant!

Wow, Fab they're not leaving anything out are they?!

Rain, you're forgiven as you responded to the BESH signal . Love the idea of a BTTF theme.

on my phone looks like a jammy dodger!!

I just got a call from a lovely friend who is off the grid a bit for family reasons (caring for her dad 24/7) and haven't seen her since my wedding (she was a bridesmaid). Been on the phone over 2 hours but it felt so much shorter. It's been ages since I had one of those great catch up phone calls with an old friend .

is a jammy dodger in my mind.
I'm all for a BTTF feemed fred. My alternative was a BESH solidarity feem that I dreamt up in the shower yesterday after our desperation kicked off.

Blue I have the BESH book of IVF and AC that was passed down to me by Bugs. PM me your address and I'll pass it on if you like. It comes with good omens having made lots of BESH babies just not mine yet

£500 sounds binsane to me too after the eye watering costs we're looking at too.

Binsane... What is this predictive text? Bonza mate, bonza...

Hoping like mad for you Fab and your super powered cycle. I guess with all that going on you definitely don't want to be ruining the magic by overindulging at Chrimbo like the lot of us.

Roads?! Where we're going we won't need roads!

Cherry - that's one of my favourite lines from a film ever so I'm with the theme. Roads? Where we are going we don't need roads .... Da da da, Da da da da, da da da da da - do do do do doodle ooooooooo (that is clearly the theme tune)

Barking - ace, thanks - will do

Ooh sorry, I meant cherry - ace will do!

Hey hags!!!

WE ARE NEARLY DONE WITH THE FRED!!

Fab Thanks, that was super informative. I don't think we are miles away from IVF ourselves, just trying the stuff covered by health insurance until that runs out!

Blue Ironic-job buddy! I also love my job, and to be fair, we are talking 12-13 year old girls, 14 max, lots of education on STIs, HIV, gender violence... I am not a particularly nice person (obviously) but it would be a bit fucked up if I was resentful of any of them getting preggers.

Hello Fankle & Fanklet!

Like someone said, you are the beacon of hope! (and also MissH for proving that '4th time lucky' does happen!). Hope you are enjoying maternity leave!

Did you read I had a second lap a couple of weeks ago? Do I dare hope it may do its magic again....???? Do send me some lucky lap vibes, hag!

Blue ... 2030 you say? I will be nearly 50 then... cutting a bit a bit fine, maybe, but who knows? I thought I would be going for #2 now and here we are!!

Mmhhh... Chocolate!!

Did someone say chocolate?

Chocolate, cakes and Proseccoby the bucketful!

Cutting a bit a bit fine?

I meant cutting it a bit fine!