New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

even. Come on predictive text, why would I want the same word twice?!

Glad to hear it Fab, getting shit done is a good feeling [smiling] - hoping the feel good factor will rub off round here what with droid arriving and everything slotting in for Barking.

Our consultant apt has come through for just before Christmas so things are moving along nicely this end too.

Blue, Erica, Fury how you doing? Did we lose Icy at the first hurdle?

Ok here, though I'm in denial about getting referred... bit spooked by the sound of the tests on from bloods and scans. Mr Fury just had to wank into a pot - would be nice if hag-tests involved an orgasm . Buuut should get on it....

In other news someone recommended acupuncture - mainly wanting to chill the feck out does it work for that?

Oh but can you imagine the pressure of the big jizz test for iui/ivf? Crazy pressure - please go into this tiny room that doesn't lock properly and has a little door that anyone might just look through at any moment and ask if you're done yet and be ready in time for a room full of people who are waiting on you and wondering why it's taking so long....Eek, I'd hate it! Mind you I'm not all that crazy about blood tests, dildo cams, pin cushion tummy, wandering around with a tum full of eggs ready to lay at any second and becoming a bag of hormones either but at least that all just gets done to me and I don't have to perform as such

What I think is:

Jizz test is probably much, much, much more stressful and unpleasant than the individual stuff we have to go through: megahormones, bloods, dildocams etc. I am really not sure I could come on demand, to be honest.

But then they have to do it once for every seven things we get done to us, so it's probably evens out in the end.

Not that Mr Erica and I would ever be so immature as to discuss 'who has it worse' Ehem ehem!

Ha ha - good points both of you. And good pre warning for future cum-on-demands. I def couldn't do that. Mr Fury was quite happy with " a sanctioned wank not to be ashamed of ". The novelty will wear off I'm sure.

Alreeeeeeeet hags! A bit like Jesus, I have finished my 40 days and 40 nights (ish!) of self-imposed exile and would like to come back to the cunty motherland. I brought you all Rockfish of reunion by way of a gift.

I've read back since I went AWOL and obvs I've been about a bit on FB so I feel all caught up, and also pleased to see there's some fresh meat too!
Not much to fill you in on with me, we had a good break from it all really. Just got past the dreaded MMC anniversary last week, which was actually a bit of a weird unemotional non-event in the end (although I suspect I am now just a master of transferred emotions given I burst into tears on the way home from work today after a ticking off from my boss - very not me).

We also went to an open evening at the IVF clinic we'll (hopefully) be referred to at our next appt at the end of Dec. it was really useful, and we were both amazed at how good their service seems to be for nhs people! RAF was mainly impressed by the real life jizz sample they had on display under a microscope, spent a disproportionate amount of time peering at the sperms. Weirdo.

Anyway! I am going to make a concerted effort to be more BESH active from now on. Sorry about that, you're stuck with me!

Welcome back Rain! Never let it be said that men aren't ridiculously impressed with spaff whether it be their own or others!!

Can I just take a moment to bitch about the fucking useless wifi we have?? Aaaaaaaargh. Here I am trying to have a quiet moment watching Captain America (am a superhero geek for my sins) and it's not bloody working again for no good reason. Grrrrr. I miss Virgin! When will they come to my area?? Time for a moon howl I think

Oh and TWH has just been informed he has to do another jizz test to update the clinic as it's been two years since his original one so it's now out of date. That will mean that when we do the next round of ivf he'll be on go number 6. I know he's thrilled!

Oh Fury I have sympathies, ROCH (Rock of coconut household) is terrified of the jizz in a pot bit. At our last clinic we were near enough that he could perform at home and rush it in as an emergency delivery. This new one is too far away for the magic 30min window = much consternation.

Part of me is sympathetic, part of me thinks it's only a quick wank, why all the fuss? I'm sure it will all come down to 'facilities' at the new clinic. We're. both hoping they'll be better than a small squeaky hospital bed and some well thumbed lads mags in a teeny room with paper thin walls that was the last option!

They still have it easy in my book

Raaaiiin good to see you returning to the fold, welcome back! Sounds like a useful IVF evening, any idea on a start date yet for you guys? Proper spaff obsession going on round here. Bad luck for TWH Fab. Gah to shit Internet. Ours is playing up too, soo frustrating!

RAF doesn't seem that put off by the idea of spaffing on demand, but then he hasn't had to actually do it yet. I have only half-jokingly told him he should get some practice in at some public loos or something.

chez there was a bed at the last clinic? I'd assumed it'd all be wipe clean plastic chairs and laminated Grattans catalogues. At least these days I guess all that's needed inspiration wise is your smartphone and pornhub.

barking I hope the droid is taking it a bit easier on you by now. I get cramps much worse now than I did pre-MC.

Sorry, cluster posting. No idea when we'll actually start. If our fertility consultant refers us as expected at our appointment on Dec 30th then the wait time for NHS IVF at this particular clinic is 6 - 8 weeks, so a conservative guess would be some time in March I suppose?

Yup Rain tis troo. There has been talk of my assistance being required for this next go, ah well, all in the name of progress...

Whoop! Spring BESH clusterdiff it is!

Wotcha hags

I got my dates optimistically screwed up. There's no way I'm going to be able to have a scan on day 2 and another on day 8 and still go on holiday for a week in between... Even if day 8 fell on a Sunday so the scan got pushed to the Monday it'd be pretty jammy. But hey, shorter cycle means less time to wait until it starts in January, hey?

rain good to see you old girl. Droid has definitely become more painful, never had cramps this bad before. My mate has a theory on why I'm not diffed (same mate who told me it was time to throw some money at it, the same one who's currently pg with her third). She struggled with her first (had clomid) and, like me, started on the pill at an early age due to problems with her cycle. She reckons 15 years on the pill messed her body up and it's only 7 years on it's finally getting rid of the hormones (hence getting diffed with no problems this time). She thinks stuffing all those hormones in before her body was fully developed was a bad thing, and also blames this for her flat chest. She has a theory that there are a disproportionate number of flat chested women who struggle to conceive. I have to say I would safely fall into this category!
I would be interested to know whether any other BESH were early users of the pill?

Fury I did 6 months of woo needles. Hated it. Had to listen to meditation to get through it. No idea if it contributed to me getting pg with iui but it didn't extend my lp, get rid of my acne or stop the mc.

On the sperm front, I'd take a random wank over multiple blood tests, dildocams, tablets, pessaries, daily injections, loopy hormones and going through the physical pain of mc any day!! DCW didn't seem remotely bothered by it either for the tests or the iui. The quality of the facilities was apparently far superior for the latter - must be because it's a bit more important to supply the goods when everything has been carefully geared up for their arrival!!

I started making curtains tonight. I naively thought I'd finish making them in one evening, and I might have done if I hadn't had to unpick two seams and un pin two hems...

Bows to Barking's marine biology knowledge. Sorry the timings are out for next IUI but Jan is really not so far away now I am telling myself

Can't help you with that particular theory though it sounds plausible. Any screwing with hormones has adverse results methinks. Mine is that the depo provera injection fucks your system up. I don't think my cycle ever recovered from that misguided sojourn in my early twenties.

Fury I love woo needles and have found it really helpful in dealing with everything life has thrown our way in the last couple of years. Horses for courses I guess.

Wow, I'm in awe of your curtain making Barking. I wouldn't know where the hell to start with anything involving needle and thread. ROCH even sews my lost buttons back on for me. I can identify with things always take longer than you think they should. Esp with some good ol procrastinating thrown in there. I'm meant to be filing and emptying an old bureau so we can get new furniture in time for Christmas. I've made some big piles of stuff on the floor so far...

Hags, sorry I cant keep up!

Hi Fury - I think Tim Minchin is a perfectly acceptable crush (men in eye-liner... always a good thing, right?) but then I forget which of my multiple odd crushes I disclosed on registering so I'm probably hard to surprise.

Hi Rain, welcome back Hag (why isn't there a damn waving icon on here?)

As for everything else ... I honestly feel sorry for Mr Blue and the spaff test-to-be (it hasn't happened yet, as I always feel too mean for making him do it so let him cancel at the last minute). The plan is to book in for Jan 2015 now in time for the clusterdiff but we are lucky to have a hotel across the road from the spaff drop site so we can let him do his job there.

woo needles - I haven't but I imagine I will in time. As for contraceptive pills, I hardly took anything (I was always ultra sensitive to them so would try for a week and then have to stop) but Ive generally always been a big hormonal mess so no surprise really that my 'nethers' aren't quite doing what they should (apart from successfully cramping in prep for tomorrows driod)

Ive probably not caught up with everything but, yay for the flurry of BESH activity anyway, its nice to have you all around :-)

I'm not anti woo needles, and will be going back in January over the IUI, I just didn't enjoy them like some people do.

I wanted some time away from it all this weekend. Had a cottage booked, with two other couples (all of us child free so no tricky conversations).

Got there to find a fucking cot in our room, all made up with pretty blankets and a mobile. Needless to say we did NOT request one. I swapped rooms. Couldn't handle it.

Next day we had a birth announcement, on the way home today a pg announcement, and got home tonight to find a very matter of fact letter from the clinic telling me that asprin was not a treatment for factor V leiden, and not empirically recommended for unexplained mc either.

Just fed up of it. Tried to have a lovely weekend away from all this shit (and we did have a lovely weekend) and yet it's just there. All the sodding time.

Just needed to get that out of my system. January feels so long away still. Just two months...

Jeez, Barking - the cot thing just seems like an unfair and cruel joke. So sorry to hear about it all Hag, it's all very very sucky (I want to say something deeper than that but I have nothing, it's just shitty)

If it helps (I know it doesn't) im sat at home drinking hot tea to manage the stupid fucking cunting droid cramps that have been happening all day (the day before I'll actually bleed, this 'extra' day of cramps makes me furious) whilst reading some work documents of lots of super fertile yet unfortunately unable mothers. I suppose at least now I'm able to keep in mind the potential lovely Hag that a child will eventually be adopted too. Silver linings and all that ...

Squirrelfish of solace to you

The droid got me, hags.

So upset. Cried and cried and cried. Does it ever get easier? Will Mr Erica and I have anything resembling a normal sex life when this is over? If it's ever over. Woe is me.

WAAAAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH

Obviously this morning my FB feed is full of bumps, babies and stuff. I am so bitter I think I may start spitting bile any moment now.

Droid is a bitch (unless we want for her for timings, then she's a sweetheart) Im not sure it does get easier, I fear it gets harder.

Mr Blue and I are seriously considering the turkey baster method next month, we tried it one month and our sex life was so much better that month.

Ps. Do you know about the "I don't want to see this" button on facebook? I have no idea what it does but sounds like it might be worth a look?

Thanks Blue! 'I don't want to see this' is brilliant!

Made an appointment with the consultant and see what he suggests... time for more aggressive action I think!

Ello Hags! I think an 'I don't want to see this' button would be amazing! Think we should push it!!

So I had a chat with my consultant today about our next round of ivf. Wow. Ha suggested we throw everything at it - chromosomal testing of the embryo, embryoscope, lots of steroids, clexane, intralipids....eye wateringly expensive. Fuuuuuck! Why is it so bloody hard to get diffed?? Anyway, we should be good to go in January. Last attempt to get on the bus!