New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

Jeez hags, it's not enough to be barren is it, some fucker upstairs or even the bloody universe then finds all sorts of screwed up ways to rub it in for us hey? ^that is officially a poo day Barking, go right ahead, gnash teeth and howl at the moon. Tis trooly shit.

I had a very therapeutic rant with a dear friend this week, both bemoaning the fact that being in our 30's has brought so much shit with it, curve balls and expectation from other people about what we should or shouldn't be doing with our lives. It's rather spoiling the dream, 20's was so damn carefree in comparison.

Still, we have signed on the dotted line with le clinic this morning, hopefully one stage closer to bringing everyone's dream to a reality for neices, nephews, grandkids ah you get the picture no pressure folks . All being well to cycle Feb/March time so long as we get a donor match. I'm hoping we can ride the back of this 'ere January cluster diff. PMA hags!

Even the idea of a baby shower makes me want to gouge my own eyes out... An ironic one? What the actual fuck? Get over yourselves people.

I think baby showers are weird anyway let alone an ironishower. Barking you have officially had the worse day evuh. Go, find the gin and dip your head in a bowl of it. If possible feel free to blow raspberries in it too just for the kicks (plz try not to drown yourself in it though as that would be a step too far for the BESH!).

Yay Chez for getting a new cycle date - plenty of time to have fun with gin and then concentrate on getting yourself healthy and raring to go again. Brilliant news.

AFM I feel like a pile of poo - I've had an evil headache since the op - is this normal? Shouldn't I be feeling ready (if not quite raring) to go by now? Instead I feel exhausted and still ready to nap at every given opportunity zzz

Ok Hags, I think I'm back. Evil project from hell at work complete (woop! There is a lot of current gin drinking)

Good news Chez,cluster diff ahoy!- and also where were we up to on job news too?

Erica - loving your fun Monica bellici fact. She is also hot. Maybe I'll swap my initial les crush to her?

Barking - jeez! Honestly, just jeez! Maybe move to a job with older people? Mine colleagues all currently have teenagers so any pregnancy news from them would be a disaster (diffed whilst on the implant lady aside, she's based elsewhere)

Thanks re: LP advise. I think mine is fine. The whole thing is pretty regular to be honest. Still need to get Mr Blue tested but we spoke last week and he says if his spaff doesn't work he won't accept donor spaff and we will have to adopt. A bit wobble inducing to be honest cos I would absolutely have donor eggs for me but it is what it is ... Gotta respect his view too (I suppose ??)

Fab - boo to feeling like a pile of poo. Have no idea if it's normal but hope it passes soon.

Learnt today that my youngest cousin is pregnant - this now makes me the oldest and only not diffed/babied up cousin. I'm also the only married one so all eyes on me and Mr Blue's todge then??

Oh Fab, not good, roll on a restful weekend for you so you can kick that headache and feel back to business. Whelks of wellbeing for you chicken, that's pants.

Yo Blue happy returneth to the BESH bosom, enjoy your gin! I think there's lots they can do for poor spaff results before resorting to donor so don't despair, I'm sure it won't come to that though why are our menfolk so unwilling to consider these things .

In our apt today the nurse did say they can do surgical sperm removal/ICSI in emergencies where there are very few swimmers. I'm sure ROCH's eyes watered at that moment!

The job front is quiet apart from the gossip which is to be expected after what they said about the process when we met. I don't think they're exactly rushing to see people and there are at least two interview stages left to go which don't conclude until mid December so no news is good news for now methinks. Keep yer fingers crossed all the same hags.

Can I join you pls? We've been at it for a year and not even a sniff of diff. I'm the barren one, with loads of acne and cystic ovaries. He has 2 kids from his exwife 7&9 years ago. She took a month each time. Cunt. Am not quite 30, but I like gin and I'm a hag.

Am seeing a private fertility man now, done a glucose test and he'll start mapping a treatment plan. It costs a fucking fortune but having had a shit time with the GP I needed out. She told me if I went private they'd put me straight into a cycle of ivf.

Sometimes I click on the "anyone about to start ttc" pages for a jaded laugh. "I've just come off the pill my bfp is due on..." rolls eyes at optimism

Hi Icy, you sound like you might need us but please do fill in the BESHtionnaire at the top - no entry without full details revealed!

Wow, everyone has so much going on!

Barking What a week. Sometimes life doesn't give us a bloody break, does it? Hope you have lots of cycling and gin and fun stuff planned for the week end so you can leave all that baby chat behind.

Non-baby shower. I can't even. Son cringy.

Cherry Brilliant news about new clinic and awesome doctor.
Re: ranting with your friend. I know what you mean. I've got a couple of friends that are doing things on a slightly different timing to most (changing career paths in their mid-thirties, splitting with husbands and going back to dating when people around are getting married, that kind of thing) and it does make you feel a bit like a freakshow. Which, in 2014, it's frankly ridiculous. Fuck it. I miss my 20s too. I wonder what I used to think about... clothes and boys and I assume. Bliss!

Blue There are lots of treatment to improve the jizzage, should that be a problem, before a donor needs to be considered. I always end putting ourselves in the worst case scenario of the 'what if' spectrum but really, no need! Mr Erica is the same, he says that if we had to use donor eggs/sperm, he would rather adopt or just stay as we are. Let's cross that bridge when we get there. Well done with the work project, hag, enjoy your gin. Cheers!!

Fab I felt really really tired and achy and crap for few days after the lap. As in, not in massive pain or anything, just hangover from the drucks and sore and meh. Look after yourself, get some wine in!

Nothing to report on my side. Waiting and waiting and constantly going through baby/barren forever/adoption/IVF/fuck it fuck it fuck it scenarios in my head. You would think that after three years I would have got better at it but nein!

Enjoy the week end hags!

Friday Fun Fact: Halle Berry had her first baby at 42 and the second one at 45. She says that the second one wasn't planned which nearly makes her unbearably smug but then again she was in that truly horrendous Catwoman movie and no one could be smug about anything after that, rite?

Ah Hags, I don't half luff you all
(Sorry, I am fluffier than I may have initially had you believe ... Soz)

We should all be experts in waiting Erica. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work like that, I'm still an impatient bugger despite the many months of torture.

Ooh hello Icy, fresh meat, we could do with a bit of that round here. Sorry to hear of your woes. Get yer BESHtionnaire submitted and tell us more. ooh yes the expense of it all best no to think about it too deeply.

Am also liking Friday fun fact. Halle is also hot which means I am seeing a theme. Clearly the BESH are just too fucking sexy to be catching a baby right now ... Yes??

Just been on another thread, it makes me fucking furious that we are expected to put others at ease when they ask us when we will be having babies. You know I reckon if men carried the babies there would be a lot less stigma around this and. A Lot more of "oh the wife just can't get one in me, another beer mate?". The whole thing just reeks of trying to make us feel ashamed that we don't work in the way we should. Well fuck it, just fuck it

(Hags I am drinking Malibu, this may have prompted the rage... Am I evicted from the BESH gin house?)

Hi Icy

Come now Blue my lovely

You'll be alreet hag, bolster up now.

We've had to rearrange our follow up failed IVF apt at the end of December. The next available is February. I kid you not. Thats nearly 6 months since treatment. Oh yes I feel like a valued patient. Not.

SIX months??? You're fucking joking me???? Jeeeesus Chez what a piss take. I think you should make a complaint, that's just pathetic.

Blue - Malibu??

TBH I really can't be arsed Fab. I found out today we can get a full copy of our notes for £50, saving the need to redo all our bloods, tests and counselling at the new clinic and hence the ££ too. They can go lock stock for the new consultant to interpret too so nothing should be lost hopefully.

Chez SiX bloody months? It's a fucking joke. I got diffed in May. I was due in Feb. Our next treatment is end of Jan. It's basically been the length of a pg before trying again. Ridiculous.

Anyway. Sloe gin consumed tonight .
115km bike ride planned for tomorrow .

I won't dwell on the hour and a half journey I just spent in a car with my mate who chose to tell me she was pg (with her third) 10 minutes into the journey. 'It just happened'.
She then proceeded to suggest I tried giving up cycling as maybe I was pushing my body too hard, said 'perhaps it's time to throw some money at it' 'cos 6 months of acupuncture, enough sticks to pee on for eternity and 3 years of every woo vitamin going didn't cost a penny and when I said we were doing iui in January replied 'I'd be trying now if it was me'. Bloody hell, didn't even consider that?! What? We could try and get me pg by having sex?!

Still, BESH, you'll be proud of me, I did teach her something. She remembered me saying after my last mc how painful I found it to see scan photos on fb so she made the decision not to put hers up as she realised she didn't know what people might be going through. I did that! By being honest I've probably saved some other poor BESH being confronted by yet another fb scan photo .

Blue what was this other thread and what rubbish were they spouting?

It seems slightly ironic that they don't get the ticking clock bit of all of this and also raise their eyebrows so disparagingly at the response to the 'how old are you now' question. I want to say 'I was 33 when I started this fucking process'. Grrr.

Well done on the education piece Barking, if you make one instadiffer think about their actions and save others the misery of another FB scan pic then its a good thing. Enjoy your insanely long bike ride!

I don't go near those other wild places you speak of Blue guaranteed depressive material, I'm afraid self preservation kicks in. BESH is my go to fred and I don't often poke my head around any other doors round here.

Wotcha hags, I'm Faith, a CRESH (I know some of you!). I've been decluttering recently and found my copy of Taking charge of your fertility. Would it be of use to any of you? If not, I'll offer it out on the conception board but wanted you lot to have first dibs.

chez I too currently go nowhere but this thread! The app opens on 'threads I'm on' and this is the only thread I'm on, so I don't even look at what else is out there!

faith what a lovely offer . Would it teach me anything I haven't probably already learnt from mn/Dr Google/my own experience of temping, opks, 2 mc's and iui over very nearly 3 years of TTC? That's not me being facetious, it's a genuine question as I can't tell from the reviews! I feel like I know so much, especially compared to 2 years ago, when I had to accept that just having regular sex hadn't got me pg in a year of trying and maybe there was something else going on....

I did only 85km on the bike. It was foggy, damp and bloody freezing. And we went the wrong way. After 8 hours on the bike I admitted defeat and called the husband taxi....

Hey Faif good to see you this side of town
I already have the book but cheers for the offer. It probably is good book Barking if you have anything that resembles a cycle to monitor. I found it interesting if a bit repetitive.

8hrs on a bike is still impressive. Just a couple of hours on the horse and a spot of mucking out was enough for me today. Definitely feeling the negative effects of my sod it attitude to diet and exercise post IVF fail. Time to rein in a little on that score methinks before I start looking like a house end.

barking possibly not! It's useful to learn how to temp and follow signs of ovulation, perhaps more suitable for someone earlier on in the process?

Only 85k? Only?! I did a half marathon a couple of weeks ago. Haven't run since.....

85k is a distance I do in my car only! Barking that sounds like madness but good for you for doing it! There is something to be said for not over doing it when you're trying to get diffed in order to let your body concentrate on what it has to do however it clearly is your happy thing and the thing that helps you not worry about all t'other bollocks so I'd carry on for the meantime

Hi Fafe, hope all is well with you and the faithlet think I'm passed the help of that book but thanks for the kind thoughts anyway. Have a shoulder punch for thinking ESH comes first!

Faith I say only because the intention was to do 115km!!

Fab I already quit running because I was told it didn't help ttc. Running was my passion and the only thing keeping me sane. It was very, very difficult to give up something that, until then, had been what my life, friends and all spare time revolved around. I was told swimming and cycling were good as they're both low impact, which is why I switched from running to cycling, and have recently started swimming. I only get a decent cycle ride in once a month anyway, and I cycle at a very sedate pace. If that is hindering ttc then I'm at a loss to what to do. Doing no exercise at all doesn't seem like the best way to prepare your body for pg either.
Maybe I should stay home and cook and clean like a good wife while my husband gets to do all the fun stuff .

Having a tearful day today and I don't really know why. These days have thankfully been rare in the last few months, so they catch me by surprise when they appear. I immediately checked my cycle (not recently, but I always used to be crazy emotional the day before the droid) but it's cd26 and I'm usually a 30/31 cycle. However, if I could get a couple of shorter cycles in that would mean I could start iui in December and not the end of January, which would be amazing.
so basically when droid doesn't show early tomorrow I'm going to be crying again but knowing why this time

Bloody hell, that was a rant. Sorry BESH. As I said, it's been an emotional day. Not helped by diy frustrations either.

Sorry you're feeling shit my lovely. It is normal especially under the denial circumstances but tres crappy. I'm with you totally on the 'how can sitting on your arse be good for you' thinking.

I've also stopped running but have decided I ain't giving up anything else for anyone. For a start I have osteopenia so it's no good my bones crumbling away while I wait to get diffed. Exercise is also my coping mechanism. I'd be miz too if everyone fucked off without me to do something I loved.

Fingers crossed for droid and a shorter cycle.

Oh Hags, my SIL is pregnant. My younger than me by 10 years sister I law. I'm breaking my heart a little right now. That's everyone in the family now, everyone. All of them, and I'm the oldest by far

So very very sad.

Shame we don't have a local pub to meet in Barking (or a pub 100km from you but really near lazy
Old me!)

Barking I hate that you had to give up your passion. That's just really really shitty

What a kick in the guts Blue. Gin all round tonight. A good old pub sesh with you lot would be epic though.