New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

Erica, please do, I'd be interested to know.

My first day at my new job was very low stress, which, as I got slowly bored, I reminded myself was the whole point.... Still, I haven't been given all my new responsibilities yet so I'm sure it'll get better. I'm actually involved in interviewing for new members of staff on Weds/Thurs/Fri so that should be interesting. And at 5.30 I shut my computer down and went home. No rushing around as the caretaker rattles his keys and I think about all the things I haven't had a chance to do, no collecting stuff to do at home. This low stress, no working at home is the whole point of quitting teaching in order to relax. I'm sure I'll stop having to remind myself of that soon....

Had another blood test this morning (managed to still get to work in plenty of time despite 6 people already queueing when I got there at 7.40). FINALLY I'm not pg. Which sounds bizarre when you put it like that, but after 5 weeks of bleeding I should bloody hope I'd got it all out!

Yo hags! Welcome back Barking, hurrah for the low stressness of work. You vill enjoy it and know vats good for you! Double yay for the blood test result, roll on the zen....

I'd give anything to be in your shoes right now. I'm categorically not enjoying my high stress existence in my dream career . Oh to be able to tell them I'm diffed and fuck off for a few months.

Erica the exercise one is tricky- caning it with some good cardio burn undoubtedly helps my state of mind but I will be backing off a bit as we head into September IVF. I'll be keeping up with the yoga though as there are woo benefits with energy flow and stuff that I think will really help.

They're discussing thongs on the telly (or cheeseboard pants as my sister always called them) the shock news is that sales are falling - I can safely say I've never contributed to that particular economy. Reassuringly ROCH has just assured me that I suit a heartier pant anyway... Whatever that means I'm mightily relieved

I reached a certain understanding by my mid twenties about underwear. Personally I no longer give a flying fuck what knickers I suit or what the fashion is, I favour the ones that are most comfortable. My current favourites are multicoloured in thick cotton that don't ever give me a wedgy. Bliss. I might occasionally wear something a lot less comfortable in the bedroom on the basis that I'll only be wearing them for two minutes! The rest of the time no one can see what I'm wearing so why be in pain all day?!
I've just read Caitlin Moran's 'How to be a Woman' (for a book club, not my usual choice of book) and she has a great chapter on underwear!

Hello hags and welcome to fresh blood Vix.

My woo needles lady was the same about exercise and very much disapproved of me running. But keeping relatively fit was one of the things that kept me a little bit sane during all the ttc shyte. I am in awe of some of the levels of activity displayed on this thread though.

Cherry my hospital has a general Women's Health section, which means all the differs, miscarriers, those with gynae problems, etc are lumped in together. Helpful.

I'm loving all the travel and travel plans on this thread. We won't be going anywhere this summer! We're making plans for KFZK's 40th early next year though.

As some of you might have seen from t'other place, centime is home. She was discharged, at short notice, on Friday. It is amazing that after three and a half years, endless prodding and poking, 2 rounds of IUI, 4 rounds of IVF and an mc, a very stressful end of pregnancy and three weeks in NICU/SCBU I finally have my baby at home. We are shattered but so happy. The TWAT cushion is still in pride of place on the sofa. :) We've managed not to let her vom on it thus far give it time . The generosity of the ESH has really touched me no, not in that way, pervs .

Amazing news euro!!!!!

euro I swear to god there's a bit of dust in my eye or something. That is fab news! When centime is old enough I hope you'll pass the twat cushion on to her, the next generation of BESH! minus all the shit that went along with its needing to be bought in the first place obviously

I POASed last night as I had some work drinks tonight and wanted a clear conscience as droid is due and got a weird pink splodge where the 2nd line would be. I told myself it was an anomaly and went to bed planning to POAAS in the morning and endured TWO (really vivid) dreams about being pregnant, re-tested this am and of course it was a BFN. Still no droid tho. Fucker.

vixen have we scared you off already?

effin how're things progressing? I hope you're alright. Did you have your reassurance scan? You must be way beyond that now?

Bad luck Rain, hope you made the most of the opportunity to have a cheeky sherbet or too though.

Not scared off, just a bit distracted by the 9-5. There's some uncertainty over whether me and my team will have our contracts renewed so I'm trying to develop some kind of life master plan where I start my own amazing creative and rewarding business which gives perfect work-life balance and means I'm self reliant. Hmmm... Might take some time.

Good to hear some positive news for barking and a BESH success story from euro. Hope everyone else is enjoying the summer.

I saw my doc this week about the possible fibroid and he's booking me in for a hysteroscopy which he described as 'using a telescope to see inside the uterus'. I have perculiar visions of some kind of pirate with a proper telescope, popping it up my unmentionables and crying out 'land ahoy!'. I'm sure it will be far more mundane but it does involve a general anaesthetic. Anyone have any experience of the procedure?

Happy Friday guys...

Rain thanks for asking after me. Had the reassurance scan at 7+5, just about 3 weeks ago, which showed no embryo. Finally miscarried this weekend, while in a tent with a hurricane raging about us, which was pretty grim - much more painful than my previous mc at 6 weeks. (We knew it was impending but didn't want to cancel the holiday and just sit around at home waiting for it to happen).

I have just been to buy a very expensive bottle of slow gin, some hardcore montezuma chocolate, soft blue cheese, and had a weepy hormonal fight with DH.

I've been following this thread and wishing you all on, but as I'm not as far down the infertility/assisted conception route as many of you, and we have now naturally conceived twice in two years, I'm not sure if this is party I should be crashing. But thanks for all your support.

Shit, Effin, I'm so sorry, I'm virtual hugging you (even though I know that's very un-BESH like and you may well be striking out to clobber me one)

Stay with us if you feel comfortable here love, I'm not down the medical route either (I just can't get diffed!) as far as I can see as long as you love gin then no matter what the circumstances you'll always be a BESH

Oh bloody hell, Effin, I'm so sorry.

Eff, I'm so sorry, that's just fucking shitty. You are totally hard as nails BESH tho carrying on with your hols . Less of this talk of going elsewhere, you stay right here (if you want to).
How are you doing? Gin and chocolate sounds like an excellent plan.

Hear hear - what a thing to deal with effin

So sorry to hear Effin. You really are hard as.

Effin really sorry to read this. You must be BESH through and through coping with that and the fact you've bought sloe gin and gooey blue cheese means you really ought to stay. What fucking horrendous shit.

Rain the vivid dreams are the worst. I had begun to lose all trust in my body and always thought it was being cruel to play such rotten tricks on me each month. I do hope you had a wee drink on your night out it have at least made up for it now.

Oh and hello Vixen I had a hysteroscopy as part of my laparoscopy so think it's much the same (apart from the hysteroscope goes up your fanjo and the laparoscope goes through your tummy button (so they can see the outside of your uterus and general pelvic cavity). They found I had mild endometriosis, burnt it off and I got diffed on the 3rd cycle after. Same thing happened to a friend of mine. Twice! I'm a big fan. Whilst it's not the most pleasant thing in the world to go through, I hope that it will have the desired effect on you.

Thanks for the advice Fankle, it does sound pretty straightforward. The thing that daunts me a little is being knocked out as I've so far managed to get through life without having to go under general, but there's a first time for everything I guess.

Am waiting around for the rain to 'do one'. After spending yesterday hungover under the weather I'm ready to get out for some fresh air and a long walk. I know the sunshine is out there somewhere - hurry up!!

Hi Vixen,

Also had an hysteroscopy as part of the lap, had some mild endo removed and got pg straight away (I then mc-d so we are now looking on the possible causes of recurrent miscarriages) - I am, like Fankle, a bit of a fan and I preach about it to anyone struggling with TTC.

So, testing for RMC has started. Both Mr Erica and myself feel relatively zen about it. I didn't freak out at the hospital, my gyno was his usual lovely, positive self and I got some blood work done to look into blood clotting issues, NK cells & other immunological stuff, toxoplasmosis and thyroid.

I get the results week on Monday... next week end is going to be long one!

Hope everyone is having a good week end! I indulged on lots of some red wine on Friday night and it was lovely.

Thanks for the tip Erica - sounds like I can shift my mindset a bit and see it as a positive step.

Fingers crossed that your RMC results can help you get some answers.

vixen good luck on the creative and rewarding business which gives perfect work-life balance - sounds amazing!

effin That's shit, I'm so sorry and for you. Hope you're holding up ok. Don't feel you need to leave unless you want to discreetly locks padlock

erica more waiting! Isn't that a novelty?!

I had a good weekend with episodes of weakness. .. Such as finding out my single, bordering on alcoholic friend has accidentally got knocked up.

Oh Barking, you have got to be kidding me!! I have the rage on your behalf - bloody insta/accidental differs! Jeez ??

I've just spent £300 (£300!!!!) on a new fertility monitor with some super baby making vitamins (that's super vitamins, they don't make super babies although I'm pretty are I'm owed a superbaby at this point!)

Blue that is insane dedication! £300!!!!

All this talk of hysteroscopy diffage has made me want to ask my GP about endo. Can GPs order those kinds of tests or would it have to come from the FC? I don't really have any symptoms apart from period pain (which I think is nothing beyond 'normal'), tiredness and a desperation to find out why I can't get knocked up! That said I know a couple of people who found they had endo without any real symptoms. How should I go about trying to wangle one?!

erica not sure what to hope for on your behalf here - that you get answers for the MC or are reassured everything's dandy and it's just rotten, repetitive bad luck. Which is the better option of those two shit shows? Cockles of talk in the meantime regardless, and a pre-emptive toe hold for next week. (Please note I am losing my foot related inhibitions!)

barking god dammit, why can't they all just stop it! I had a lovely afternoon with a post ICSI donor egg success story friend yesterday who very kindly gave me all the paperwork from her original IVF clinic (the one our CCG use) and got a phone call just as we were parting from a friend who literally never ever calls me.
So, I knew - I just fucking knew - as I answered the phone that, yes, you've guessed it, she's diffed. Nice of her to call me first before announcing it, but it was slightly galling when she said she and her boyfriend decided to start trying after I advised her not to taste any time cos you never know what issues you might have at a friend's wedding last summer (this friend has also had a baby since then).
Fucking sucks arse and leaves just two of my core group of friends without babies now, excluding barren old me. 5 conceived since we started trying, 3 had kids already. Oh god, now I'm depressed.

Barking Yup, more waiting! I know that 10 days to get the results is actually not very long at all. It's just the first 'round' though, so to speak. Next it will be Mr Erica's semen test etc. It feels like, for the last three years, I've done nothing but try and be patient and I am a bit fed up with it!

As Rain says, I am not sure what would be 'good news' for us. Maybe some mild disorder (blood clotting??) that can be solved with minimum trauma? If/when I get pg again, I would like to feel we are doing 'something' to make it work. Leaving it to luck would be nerve-destroying!

I do love your use of 'shit show' - that's exactly what it feels like! I am gripping your toe real hard!

Rain I had completely asymptomatic endo but my gyno insisted that not getting preggers when everything appeared to be ok (all fertility tests came back normal) was a symptom in itself! I am not sure how you go about it in the UK but I am not the only one (at least three other people in the last few months spring to mind) that got pg pretty much straight after the lap.

Blue I've been thinking of getting one of those for ages. Let me know how you get on! Are you taking the Vitabiotics super vitamins? Super vitamins for super babies indeed. I feel that any foetus of mine that makes it is going to be super!

Re: everyone getting preggers but us. I know. I am so fed up with it. I am definitely in the minority in my friendship group back at home (not so many people with kids here though) and I am sick of friends that are not even living with their partners yet getting pg while 'on holiday'. I've gone on a million fucking holidays, pretty much ruined my & Mr Erica's sexual life and all I have to show for it is two mcs and one cp. Fucking fuck.

Thanks hags for all your messages. Raising a breakfast glass of tasty sloe gin [not 'slow', oh the shame...] to you all. It is indeed a right old shit and I don't recommend mc'ing in a tent. After all the physical drama I'm now settling back into the grey mindset of will-we-ever-have-a-baby. Though we're going to wait at least one full cycle, and I'm going to try not to get too obsessive [ha yeah right] in the meantime. No RMC tests available until a 3rd mc and basic fertility tests 'normal' so not sure if there's anything to do different this time.

blue what does that monitor actually do?? For £300 I'd expect it to light the candles and pour the wine too. I've been using a 2nd hand clearblue fertility monitor, but wondering if it might be a bit too definite and we'd be better off just doing it more rather than trying to hit particular days.

yes, I'd be interested to know how they diagnose mild endo? would they have seen this on internal ultrasounds? I've always had painful periods - but normally so I think - and I have a small fibroid that no one seems to think is significant, don't know if that's related.

good luck with the tests erica. So difficult to know whether it's better to find something or not - having something to treat at least makes it feel like you can have some control, but then will also be reassuring to know if you can rule some things out and not have to worry about them.

at lighting the candles and pouring the wine!