New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

Wowsers so much going on since I last posted! Effin you sure are hardcore - I'm so sorry to hear your news but please don't go away - seems to me this is exactly the place to be at the moment and I'm sure previous ESH will agree with me on that as well as the lovely BESH before me. No-one understands a shit time like a bunch of hags who've seen shit times... Although maybe not in a tent (joins Bugs in crushville).

Bugs, fuck me - 31 weeks??? You go girl!! Amazing news . If I ever get diffed (seems unlikely now but still have a little hope there somewhere) I want to try that hypnobirthing thing. A friend did it for both hers and said it was amazing but she did have to do a lot of prep work for it.

I'm just waiting for my laporoscopy appointment at the moment - want it to come through ASAP so I can book a holiday - haven't been abroad since forever and TWH wants to book something lush so I need to get it sorted while he's in a generous window!!! For the record I've always had normal cycles but since October last year I've had constant pain, like period pain, for my whole cycle. So basically 10 months now of constant period pain. I don't mind telling you I am quite frankly fed up with feeling like this! Am now starting to have nightmares that I having a hysterectomy as I in most pain at night. Boo. Can't wait for my lap assume that will finally show what's going on?

Oh god, slappy mouth noise man is next to me in the train again. Eeeeew!

Ps Blue what exactly do you get for your £300???

The fertility monitor is an ovacue. To be honest I'm mainly bought it because poas makes me really unhappy (I'm a get up early, have a wee, sneak back to bed kinda girl but when you have to poas and wait for the fucking thing to smile at you then I'm fully awake and it ruins my snooze) so this thing you use every day by putting it on your tongue for 15 seconds (you can also confirm ovulation by using the vaginal sensor!). I also like that it claims that it can tell you your best days 7 days in advance and with our schedule it's just vital (the tracking apps don't work, I'm usually a couple of days out and those are always the dates that we've booked something) In the past I've cancelled girly weekends because I was supposed to ovulate and then didn't, and this month it turns out it's slightly out meaning my best days will be the day we have his parents over (Dtd will not happen then)

Ooh posted too soon!

Fab - ick to the man and to the pain!
Bugs - 31 weeks! Woohoo
Euro - I forgot to say, yay!!!!!!!! (I don't use this many exclamation marks in real life)
Rain - you know, I know they think it's polite but I really hate when people call to tell me they are pregnant. text me
dammit, allow me the chance to make myself sound like I'm happy for you (oh I really am a hag)
Erica - I'll let you know how it goes with the monitor, we order the fertilaid vitamins which get great reviews (i took some cleansing ones and they definitely did something - bleed differently and at a different time but then they knocked my cycle out so I stopped taking them Mr Blue still on his though)
Effin - I'd love to do more rather than more focussed but as ttc has ruined our sex life that's just not gonna happen so I need the specific days

I feel left out, I want a lap now :-( Is ovulation pain a symptom of endo?

Am off for dinner tonight with a uni friend who has been asking me when I'll have children since we met 7 years ago, much easier to be ok with the question when I haven't been actively trying for such a bloody long time.

Just rushing in to say hola and aurevoir... Well, temporarily anyway. In the meantime please pray for my sanity!

Glad to see you're sticking around Effin, you sound like pure hardcore BESH to me, sorry for the shit you're going through though.

Euro. Ahhh, your post just makes me glow with happiness for you! So chuffed. Wowz Bugs 31 weeks... Not so long now for you and bug let either. Exciting stuff. You are hope so it's great you stick around.

For you tenacious gin consuming souls waiting and being worn down by irritating differ announcements in the meantime, hang in there. Tis shit.

Soz for radio silence in this department... I'm in the middle of a mental August. One madcap challenge down, yomping about in the hills for chariteee, off shortly for a full on couple of weeks working away.

All good aaand we're now officially on DEIVF countdown after I came off my HRT today... First scan the day after I get back in a couple of weeks time. Even I'm shocked by the efficiency of it all. Super stress plus wobbly hormone levels, I've gotta admit I'm slightly terrified by the prospect. But all for a good reason.

Fingers, toes and everything crossed for you cherry!!!

In my news, AF arrived tonight . This was a pleasant surprise as I waited months for it after the first mc! Fingers crossed it is a normal AF and not random spotting. I'm trying a mooncup for the first time, any top tips from experienced users welcome!

blue so instead of POAS you LAS? (Lick a stick - reminds me of that playground joke...). Hope you get a better idea of your cycle from it.

bug wow, 31 weeks! Time is a flyin! Like chez thanks for continuing to update us, you're the flag bearer for us all!

chez great news - shit just got real! I think I'm going to miss all the scans etc tho as I'll be away myself so a firm early toe hold and Pollocks of Plushy Wombs for you.

barking that is also great news. The wtf cycle can be hellish so glad you're back on track. Any news on the rcm stuff?

I am en route to Gatwick at stupid O fucking clock (I did a proper comedy panic wake up when the alarm went off at 3:45am) for a week's jaunt to the Channel Islands so might not be around much but am, as always, channeling BESH vibes for you all. I might go BESH on RAF if I don't get a coffee soon. I hate early mornings.

Ha,I will indeed be LAS

Should imagine just a bit of normality is a relief barking, good news.

Lick a stick, arf.... I have a dumb and dumber image in my head now...

Enjoy your hols Rain

Urggg, more facebook baby post

Blue I've just got a new phone and skipped the page where I was required to sign in to facebook, I'm just not going there! I'll go on via the website as I use a few groups for mountain biking etc and I have them bookmarked so I can go straight there without the danger of seeing any nasty surprises on my newsfeed despite having unfollowed everyone who has or might ever have a baby.

rain enjoy the holidays! rmc appointment is on sept 17th.

cherry it was a very pleasant surprise, actually getting AF around when I should - bit of a shock really! Perhaps the months of woo needles have had a lasting effect?! tries not to get carrried away and imagine herself as a natural instadiffer as soon as we start ttc again

Hey hags,

Just popping to say hello and Barking mooncups are awesome, period-changing. It may take a little while to get used to them but they are completely worth it.

All my zen is gone. Another pregnancy announcement yesterday did it for me. I just feel I am putting so much time and effort and emotional investment into something that is never going to work out. Dark times.

Hope everyone is starting the week end in a better mood!

Enjoy your hols, rain. One of the CRESH is lucky enough to live out there.

That's great barking. It helped me when my cycle got back to normal quickly post-mc.

cherry I am very impressed by your recent exploits.

Blue I've never heard of that one. LAS could be the new BESH obsession.

Pah to unhelpful pregnancy announcements.

Oh Erica, I know this is shitty. I want to have words of wisdom and comfort but we both know they're aren't many.

I have now been out differed by my friends who I knew had trouble (a year and half of everyday sex to get pregnant) she's just announced her second one months after having her first (which I know is actually amazing, she's too sweet natured to be a hag but she could almost have been one of us!) and a friend with severe endo who when we first met cried to me about she'll never have children cos she was 30 and single and in now upduffered with her second whilst I still have ... Wait, quick count ... Oh yes, none!

Re: Facebook, I totally did that to myself, I actually hardly ever go on but a friend told me of someone we know who is diffed and I wondered why she hadn't facebook announced it, so I searched until I bloody found it.

barking, would be really interested in your mooncup review. AF started for me today and I keep thinking there must be a planet friendlier way to deal with it.

Blue and erica it's so hard not to let it bother you, isn't it?

In the past few days I've encountered a worrying trend that I shall henceforth call 'The Sick Bucket' challenge in which mums nominate each other to post pictures of their brood on Facebook. All it does is remind me of how many offspring everyone else had managed to produce during which time I've been keeping sales of folic acid afloat with nothing to show for it.

At least we can console ourselves with gin and not be woken up by screaming children at the crack of dawn tomorrow!?!

I turned my nose up at the mooncup in my twenties when my housemate left hers on the side of the sink [grim] but think it might be a good idea now I'm less squeamish about these things. My main concern is how to empty/clean it in public toilets?

vixen the sick bucket challenge makes me want to punch. is that the idea? don't these people continually post pictures of their brood all the fucking time anyway? Is it competitive smugness? bluergh.

barking good news on the timely return of AF. Reassuring when our bodies do what they are supposed to, hope it means that you are physically recovering well.

cherry exciting news, hold on tight for the hormone rollercoaster. I had a massive hormonal crash 5 days after mc, my first taste of what those weird little chemicals can do to you, and pretty overwhelming.

fab 10 months of period pain! christ. hope that lap gives you a plan of action. and apparently has many magical benefits.

blue sorry if I sounded a bit blazé. With the CBFM we were shagging on the first day of 'high fertility' but then immediately stopping and I started to suspect that it kind of gave us a false sense of security and perhaps we stopped too soon (or started too late) to actually be doing it at the right time. Hope the ovacue at least gives you some useful information. Does the LAS come in flavours? I know what you mean about ttc banjaxing sex life too. MC also made me feel totally disconnected from my body. I'm trying to persuade TT to do some non-shag massage type stuff in the hope that it (paradoxically) helps get us more in the mood - and relaxed about it - rather than it becoming another household chore.

Sorry for anyone I've not namechecked. Had visitors last week so not checking in much. Hope you're all having bonza weekends. We're off to a bad film club to watch He-Man in a park tonight. Will be taking lots of jumpers and gin!

vixen After a couple of days to get used to it I'm a complete mooncup convert. My AF is always unpredictable in flow so I spend the whole time wondering if I've used too heavy or light a tampon, or having to use towels as I'm not sure if it's just spotting. I only need to empty it first thing in the morning then in the evening, but when I had to check at work (little first time paranoia) I just used the disabled toilet which had a sink in it. It's a revelation not having to buy/carry/store/dispose of a stack of tampons and towels . Feels a lot cleaner and healthier. After ttc and two prolonged mc's I am no longer squeamish about anything down there..

bugs how long have you got left now?

I've forgotten what else I was going to say to who and I'm on a new phone which I'm still getting used to as the app seems to be working differently .

Moon cups are great - once I got over the first couple of panicked 'I can't get the fucking thing out of me' moments. Ditto the not having to carry around loads of tampax etc is brilliant. If I had the energy i could actually go rollerblading without fear etc..

Hmm, sounds like they're well worth a try. I'd always struggled to work out how you deal with it in public toilets, but you're making it all sound fairly faff free!

Hi Bugs, nice to hear of some BESH success stories - hope you have a comfortable last few weeks.

Alrightee hags, just popping in from over le pond for a quick check-in.

Yay for Ginge, well laid that girl!

I don't have much cause for a moon cup these days but agree they are a most useful bit of kit if you can get around grossing out the husband with your storage and cleaning options love the idea of you rollerskating around town Fab as carefree as they come.

Hope you're having a good jollie-bags Rain.

So far so good on the hormonal front at the moment Unless everyone's just plain avoiding me. Paranoid. The most disappointing symptoms to date are boob shrinkage and slightly more haggard looking skin. Meh. But it's the sleep that's sacrosanct, especially in this environment so I'm not complaining. Long may it continue.

Gin and fish to all.

Evening hags!

Blue very curious about the LAS - keep us updated!

Feel better after last week's 'every-fucking-one is pregnant but me WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH' tantrum. Following Vixens advice, I made the most of an 'all day in bed hangover Sunday' yesterday, which was awesome.

I got my RMC results today - everything came back normal. I don't know how I feel. On the one hand, it's good news, right? On the other hand, it is difficult to accept that, after three years of TTC and 2mcs and 1 cp (or 3 mcs really, what's the difference?), it's all down to bad luck and that there is nothing we can do differently next time (if there is one) to improve our chances of things working out.

The gyno said that he doesn't think is necessary to test Mr Erica's sperm for now... Mmhh... been reading on that and apparently chromosomal/genetic problems in semen start showing on quantity and mobility tests (he's been tested four times and all came back fine) so the problem is unlikely to lie there. But I don't know. Maybe I should have been pushier about that.

Really weird mood around the house...

• Downs Cherrys gin - thanks, dude!

Ah jeez, Erica it's really shitty that all this stuff takes us to a place where we would actually feel better if someone tells us something is wrong.

I don't know how to feel on your behalf either

I also took the general advice of living life remembering that I don't have a kid which has involved lots of gin and planning an luxurious and child un-friendly holiday

I couldn't fit the moon cup in when I tried it! Although I'm sure it's still in a draw somewhere

LAS won't start til October (awaiting delivery and am not taking it on the September holiday) but will keep you updated