New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

Gold star Barking you are rock hard!
You're pretty solid too Fab ...not feeble at all IMO

< flings Sturgeons of stamina>

barking you are definitely nails! That's an amazing achievement even without the bleeding. I felt completely spent after my 2 weeks of mc bleeding so I am in awe.

fab she is doing really well. Finally gaining weight and had her first go on the boob today. She hasn't really got the hang of it yet, but at least she gave it a go, which is encouraging. I finally feel like things are moving in the right direction.

In other news, our house went on the market today. We must be mad.

Woweee Barking good effort girl. You must feel superhumanly amazing after cracking that. Loving the sturgeons Fankle
And thanks for passing on the BESH wisdom IVF book. May the woo be with me!

Sounds like the thread has been quiet as we've all been out and about whipping non TTC life on the ass. I've had a mahoosive few of weeks at work but with a bit of graft have pulled off a couple of huge events. Been a bit epic, had to get through a days wrap up with a stonking hangover today but all worth it. Looking forward to getting my life back for a couple of weeks before we build up to the next. and then straight into a wee spot of IVF

Euro I'm only thinking it's euphoria that's leading you to these mad house selling decisions but I'm thrilled for you and centime. Yay for some boob action and gaining weight. You must be feeling like things are looking up. How's the sleeping and the tension. Are you coping OK?

I'm managing cherry. The post-partum hormone crash has hit and I am very weepy. Most people go through it, but usually in the privacy of their own home! I wish I could just hide away and have a good cry but I need to somehow carry on and interact with nurses and taxi drivers, etc.

How dare the BESH be having lives! ;)

Oh Euro, stupid flaming hormones! I believe, all being well,they start to wear off soon? I will happily hurt anyone who upsets you until then though

AW, ta b/esh . DCW and I did a two day hike in the mountains over the weekend with the dog and a very small tent. Battered and broken now, having a rest day. Good timing, seeing as there's been a thunderstorm all morning!! On WiFi in the tent. Very bizarre!

euro do you have any idea of timescale for getting her home? Hope the hormones fuck off and leave you alone soon.

Blimey barking. Are you superwoman?!?

No timescale yet, but things are moving in the right direction.

Barking - whilst I admire you a lot, I also think you are a crazy lady but well done you!

Arggh, so the menkul returns - took a 2 month ttc break, back on it this month and the fucking bastard wanktard sticks tell me I haven't ovulated. But I always get ov pain and had it this month too. Hags? Can sticks be wrong? Any idea?

Which sticks are you using blue? It's possible that you can miss a surge if testing once a day.

Barking! You superwoman you!!!

Blue When I got pregnant in April, I got negative OPKs every single day. I assumed I didn't ovulate but obviously did. Sexy times every couple of days just in case?

I have managed to take a TTC break this month and it has been strange but lovely. We have decided to get all the RMC tests done as soon as we get home in two weeks (Barking, I will PM you when I know more about them). It feels a bit like going through the motions though, right now getting pregnant again and having and actual baybee seems as likely as winning the lottery. I am also still feeling quite shaken after the mc and two d&cs so we may take a longer break than originally planned. It would be good to know if there is a reason behind rmc but I feel pretty despondent on that front. Thinking a lot about adoption these days...

Mmmhhh... That was cheery!! On other news, I am visiting Barcelona, hanging out with friends, eating all the food and drinking all the wine, which is ace!

Can totally understand how wary you are Erica after all you've been through... This whole fred is turning into a 'two fingers to TTC let's drink gin and get high on life' kinda place for now and I'm in with nobs on.

Here with the pom-poms for you though blue, can't answer your Q I'm afraid but rooting for you nonetheless.

Lovely to look over the wall and see PESH and CRESH giving us all hope. Glad things are heading in the right direction for you Euro. Coping is a good start, hopefully you'll be able to relax and enjoy it soon enough. So full of admiration for you. Ahem Damn the hormones.

I'm at hospital tomorrow to finally see the menopause specialist - only been waiting for this apt since Feb. Typical that I shall be stopping the wretched HRT in 3 weeks to fuck with my hormones even more start IVF.

Still, it will be good to get some sense out of someone about hormone balance, HRT, health implications of the ovarian failure and even managing through a pregnancy if we ever get that far. Just not totally sold on the idea of sitting in a waiting room getting ogled by a bunch of older ladies no doubt wondering why I'm crashing their party.

face because I'm out of gin and on the last red wine of the box we bought last week. Supermarche FAIL! Must do better tomorrow.

cherry just say "[face cream of choice] really is fabulous stuff, dahlinks".

arf. Because I'm fucking worth it hags

tut tut Barking, major fail. Bad times.

Taking your time after after a trauma is a good idea Erica - for your head as much as your body - so I second Chezza with the enjoy yourself while you can - eat, drink, be merry and enjoy the sun while you can

Good luck Cherry for your appointment with the menopause people - finally! Timing is perfectly ironic of course but am keeping my fingers crossed they give you some help and decent advice.

Barking - uh-oh - epic fail! I've managed to order myself a box of miscellaneous interesting red wines to savour - it's my birthday next week so I thought fuck it, why not eh!! For a catalogue of ridiculous reasons TWH can't shag for the coming week - right over ovulation time so there's no chance of an ironidiff so I might as well enjoy myself right?

On another point entirely I'm currently on the train to work sat next to a man who's making annoying mouth noises that make me want to punch him. AIBU???

How did the appointment go cherry?
fab Ooo, enjoy the wine, sounds lovely.
Erica a break is good. I'm feeling saner than I have for a long time . Not sure how long it will last! How's the weather in Barcelona? Thinking of heading over the border to escape the thunderstorms....
Euro stay strong, can't believe you've just put the house on the market!!

Fab no you are not. Mouth and eating noises send me into retchville. Disgusting man! Red wine and ttc freedom sound like a perfect birthday combo.

Erica glad you are taking a bit of time out to get your head around everything. You've had a shit few months and it has really dragged on so it's no wonder you need a bit of a break before jumping back on the ttc horse...or bike if we are continuing the fred theme (although it seems Barking is the only one being sporty, correct me if I'm wrong). You are one seriously fit BESH!

Cherry hope you get some useful answers and advice at your appointment. If you get any odd looks just smile conspiratorially and whisper "I can give you try name of my surgeon, he's a genius. You should see my boobs".

barking, as a total couch potato whenever I see your bike exploits I am always just a bit . Serious kudos to you for doing that AT ALL let alone at the tail end of a miscarriage. If you had balls, they would be made of steel. I hope you've since acquired more wine - bad times if there's a booze fail, especially on holiday!

Erica taking a break is a good idea. I can't remember if it was this thread or another where someone said something about long term ttc-ers knowing when we need a rest and it being OK to just do that. After all, what's another month in the grand scheme of years ttc? .

Blue I have resolutely abandoned all forms of OPK as they just made me too obsessed. I've felt much, much happier the last couple of months where we've just been shagging as often as we can be bothered and trying to keep the OV menkul at bay (it does work, for the most part!)

Chezza how did your appointment go? Loving the tips on making the older ladies envious.

euro glad you and centime are doing well. Hope the daily commute isn't proving too tough - keep that twat cushion at hand for clobbering anyone who dares make you cry. Anyone else and I'd say you're totally cray-cray for moving house at the same time, but you're BESH so it'll be water off a duck's back!

fab 100% YANBU. I am a regular commuter on trains too and anyone making any noise gets death stares (from everyone, not just me!). True southern stereotypes at play there. Yesterday's train home was mostly silent broken only by an annoying twunt regaling her friend in a really loud voice with all the things she was learning about being pregnant like how the baby jumps at loud noises yada yada yada. Just bore off woman, no-one gives a shit (especially not me, humph)

AFM not much going on, hence why I've been so absent. Doing some DIY to convert the baby's room a spare room into a den/office and generally going out and enjoying ourselves as much as possible. I have this weird feeling of 'letting go'ishness at the moment (if that doesn't sound too woo). Hoping it doesn't all come crashing back down around my ears next time the droid rocks up.

G&Ts for all!

I might look damn hot for my age but menopause clinic was a bunch of useless wank. For starters it was IN the antenatal unit. Which was utter chaos and RAMMED with smug differs and their screaming children. Which inexplicably rocked my calm zen-ness to the core, especially the litter of used piss cartons all over the floor of the ladies' loo which gave me the complete rage.

Then I didn't get to see the consultant but the consultant's monkey. I protested and saw her anyway. The monkey took a lengthy history, couldn't answer half my questions, more ragey feelings, asked if I had a sister... All the tears... Couldn't answer any of the rest. Fucking waste of time.

I could and maybe should have pushed to see the real consultant afterwards but I bolted like a scaredy cat instead and got my menopausal ass outa there as quick as I fucking could.

My saving grace yesterday was a woo needles apt with a now very dear friend who patched up all my woes and made me feel amazingly safe and valued again. So, bring on the IVF.

Fab have some of my ragey-ness to aim at your masticating fellow commuters. I am done with it and letting it go Rain. How liberated are we?

Just for the record I walked 20 miles on Saturday - not in Barking's league but maybe not too shabby either

Wow Cherry, that sounds like a heap of crap. But I also find a bit of woo helps the rage to disappear.

OK so I've been lurking for a while but this week I need to vent, so thought I'd pipe up at last. Here's my beshtionnaire...

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   Ooh, Millers with tonic and a dash of lime please.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   I live with a silver fox so I have to say gold digger...

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   Er, c.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   The word babydust makes me feel sick on so many levels it would have to be a).

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   B.

6. Number of pets?
   Zilch

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   I've always thought there's something about David Bowie.

8. Lesbian crush?
   Scarlett Johansson

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

I'm a bit of a defeatist when it comes to POAS so have kicked that habit but I've bought a fair few sticks in my time.

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above
    C.

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

So I'm 36 and have been trying for #1 for over 3 years now with a diagnosis of unexplained fertility. 2 attempts at medicated iui have failed and I was about to start round 3 but this week dildocam revealed what the nurse thinks could be a fibroid so everything is on hold whilst they take a closer look.

I'm sick of another obstacle getting in the way but timings mean I could be good to resume treatment and join the impending clusterdiff due for the BESH in September, if you'll have me???

Ooh 'ello Foxy welcome to the BESH fred ready for the September cluster diff
Sorry to hear your TTC woes. Can't say I share your crushes on the diffed Miss Scarlett or the shifty Bowie but each to their own! You've obviously done your homework come on in.

Any other lurkers can come out from behind the bushes too

rain/fankle/cherry I like that you're impressed by my fitness, but sadly, amongst my friends, I am very much the unfit one. There is no-one here anywhere near my beginner level so I have to ride on my own or they get cold bored waiting for me! They all went out and did 100km of riding and almost 4,000m of ascent yesterday, then went out again today in search of more big hills. I did 30km very slowly yesterday with only 1,000m of ascent and today I lay by a lake.....
Nice work on the 20 miles cherry, I'm training towards a 26 mile walk (some people run it but I'm not, when I entered I was pg so went for the walking category not that I've started running again anyway) in September. Not done that distance in one go yet.
I'm currently reading a 'woo' book that says too much exercise puts undue stress on the body and doesn't leave it with enough energy to conceive, as we need less stress and more energy for conception the older we get. But I'm on a TTC break until we've investigated all the mc crap so the woo book can fuxk off until I'm ready to make my womb a comfy abode and my body a welcoming temple again. In the meantime I intend to get fit and have fun and buy a shiny new bike.

Welcome on board Vix, sounds like you've had your fair share of ttc woes so you're in . Sorry to hear you're at a stop again - it's so bloody annoying isn't it. You can join me in the loitering, twiddling fingers and whistling aimlessly while waiting gang.

Chez, have a big catch of seafood of solace - what an absolutely shit experience. Seriously which fucking eejit thought it was a good idea to put a menopause unit in the middle of maternity? Genius - not. I've got the rage on your behalf. Grrrrr. And having waited all those months for you not even to see the top monkey is a bit bloody insulting, no? Hurrah for woo needles lady for sorting you out though. Think calm happy thoughts for impending ivf instead. Do you have any idea on a start date yet?

Barking yes I've been told that too about the exercise which is why I've ended up being a lazy bitch and not working my arse off properly. Continue to enjoy what you're doing I reckon - your plan sounds good. And tell the others to stop showing off and live a little hard work then breaks sounds perfect!