The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

beaky thanks. It's probably something else I don't have and therefore am needlessly worrying about but I can't help but feel like the coincedence is too strong that I had my tubes 'jet-washed' and got a BFP shortly after, but then I don't know that endo would actually respond to jet-washing so maybe it's something else.
I've had a few dildocam ultrasound scans - would they have shown endo if there was any?? The internal US after my miscarriage said my uterus was a bit 'lumpy' but I/they assumed at the time that it was due to last remaining bits of pg lining.

In positive news, I've made enquiries with a local acu lady who specialises in fertility. I think I am going to go ahead and book an initial appointment and see what I make of it. So many of you seem to have positive feelings about it (even if only for the 1hr relaxation) so it seems like something positive to try.

Period cramps are kicking my ass this month, I've had to get my trusty work hot water bottle out! In June!!

bat enjoy tonight and you know we'll all be willing you and batbaby on tomorrow.

bushy did you end up going to work today?

oh god, I am such a wally. I just checked my work calendar to book a meeting in and realised the FC appt is in less than 2 weeks, not 3 (1st July instead of 7th). Now I feel scared! Also, MrP is not doing his SA till Fri, what if the results aren't back? Argh!

rain that SA takes a couple of hours to do and needs to be done on a fresh sample. Any delays you see through the NHS are purely administrational. My DH had his done privately and got the results and a follow up consultation the same afternoon. If the FC needs them I'm sure that can be processed in time. Good luck with the appointment.

Sorry for silly typos - on my phone

Hi everyone, sorry for the silence since my little bridesmaid-is-upduffed bitch meltdown on Saturday. You all helped me out an awful lot. I emailed her on Monday just explaining why I might have been a bit quiet when she told me her news and explained that I love her but that it's hard for me. She replied with a lovely email telling me not to be silly and that she knows it's painful for me. I might have cried again. She's my only bm but I will be okay we have to be bloody okay don't we. I'm stealing your mantra Feather.

Happy belated birthday rain and barking

Massive whoop whoop to you and dino baby rp!!

happy and nolly we also had a shag week fail. Totally managed to have NO sex over fertile window. Bloody waste of Clomid round 11.

Loads of good vibes coming your way for your scan tomorrow batking.

I had an appointment at the FC this morning. Got dildo-cammed AGAIN. Nothing to report there - lining seems fine even though AF is only lasting 1.5-2 days now . Lots of bloods taken to check for thrombophilia etc. And a CO breath test (smoking test) because they've stuck us on the 12 month IVF waiting list. It's just as well DP wasn't with me as they wanted to test him for CO and he was smoking on his stag weekend just past Nurse told me to wait two weeks then send him in - does anyone know if the test will be okay for him if he waits two weeks? He doesn't ever smoke so I'm bloody annoyed he decided to do it at the weekend.

I asked about Gonal-f injections and was told that wasn't an option and to go straight to IVF. Which is weird because the previous doctor I saw told me I could have six months . Anyway, they've said we can have 3 rounds with injectables but that we're now just waiting for IVF. I feel very sad and I'm not quite sure why.

OMG Feather where are you up to?? I love it it's such an amazing shoe! Barking orange is the new black is a female prison drama and it's brilliant, it's Netflix only though. I would highly recommend it. Will be thinking if you tomorrow afternoon.

Rain endo needs to be treated with a lap but it's identified by dildocam too so if it had been there they would know. Boo to period cramps but hooray to acu, I've also enquired and think I will try to start after my hols. SA should be back in time for your app, as Kuma says it has to be processed same day. I'd get your dh to mention to them when the follow up appointment is just in case.

otters glad you spoke to your bm, hopefully she will be super considerate over your hen and wedding. How much more clomid will you get? I felt weird when we got referred for iui/IVF, but I just try to see it as a means to an end and not think about it too much. Give yourself some time to process it though. Hugs.

beaky amazing shoe?!??

OK, taking a cleansing breath and expelling idea of endo. I just want to find the answer dammit. SOMETHING is stopping me getting diffed, I just want to know what it is! [frustrated face]

beaky we did second series, episode 3 last night! So trying to drip feed this series as I binged the last one and then really missed it. Same with Modern Family! Where are you at?

Ladies, sorry I have been awol over the last days. RP what wonderful news (even if I'm late to the party), I am so happy for you.

Batking, I will keep all my fingers crossed for you even if I am out of the country.

Otters, good to have you back. Same happening here in terms of shag week. Must be the weather or something, can't be the football, I am more into it than DP.

Nolly, epic post from you. Love the sense of humour.

Kuma, keeping fingers crossed for you in your 2ww.

otters so glad you got a good response from your bm. Sounds like she is a true friend. Well done for having the courage to talk to her about it. Hope she is sensitive about it during your hen and wedding.

rain I know what you mean about obsessively looking for an explanation. I got Alan Beer's book 'Is Your Body Baby Friendly' - but I don't really get what it is on about. The thyroid section which might apply to me is very short and the test is expensive. And is it just hogwash anyway?

AF is making her slow, spotty appearance here. I got first spot of blood yesterday and now I can feel cramps. I would find it so much easier if it would just arrive properly straightaway, this feels like it's dragging on and on.

Sorry for going on but it really is the thing I find most difficult, it's like mental torture to me. I'm going to go and have a sob on the bed.

Barking what time is your scan tomorrow? Everything crossed for you

Just running in quickly, about to go out for dinner in a desperate attempt to avoid sitting and dwelling on tomorrow. merk scan is 2pm, I'll update when I'm out .

barking have a lovely meal will be thinking of you tomorrow. Berry vibes being sent your way x

Hi y'all!!!

Wildflower

Barking everything xed for you!

Rosie thanks!! Not counting my chickens just yet but obviously really really relieved.

rain and wild I'm totally with you on the struggle with being unexplained. I should have been pleased after my laparascopy and hysteroscopy that all was well but instead I just felt frustrated that I didn't have any answers. In a moment of despair I decided to follow others lead and get a personalised plan from Lucy at catching rainbows. I got it today and I'm hopeful .

rain I do agree that acu is worth doing. Just the feeling that someone cares about your fertility and you as a person, not just a set of guidelines and a conveyor belt of treatment is enough to lift my spirits.

wild sorry that af has arrived. Have a good cry if you need to. I'm always so weepy the day or two before, anything can set me off.

You will be okay otters, because you are strong and brave...hang in there my dear. Your turn will come I'm sure of it. Glad to hear your bm has been understanding.

nolly nuff respect for surviving that epic commute. Boo to preggers colleagues and the shagging ones. It never ceases to amaze me how many people get promoted because of who they know or who they've shacked up with. Hope you've had a better day!

barking enjoy your meal out. Am so hoping for good news tomorrow, everything crossed here!

Aw, just about to watch the last episode of tigers in the house. Hope my cubs are that cute!

wow, you lot are active!
I don't know if anyone replied for the opks but if you want them, please send me a pm.

Hold on tight girls, the chopper us coming for you all xxxxx

Wow, lots to keep up with now that I've hopped back on this thread.

Thanks everybody for the 2ww luck, half way through now. Will probably poas from tomorrow to check trigger is out of my system. Feeling a bit wonky tonight but no real or imaginary symptoms today.

barking, rain, I also had bad skin, which can be a symptom of PCOS I think, although I don't have PCOS. I also took roaccutane for about 6 months, nasty stuff but it did make my skin quite a bit better. My skin was terrible again for the 3 month I took DHEA, it's a listed side-effect.

happy I did my IVF privately, I spent about £1k was on drugs, but as I have high FSH already they put me on a very high dose of Gonal F; you might need to use less and hence spend less. I ended up getting my drugs from the hospital pharmacy; it might have been possible to get the stuff more cheaply by shopping around but I only got my prescription at my day 2 scan and needed to start stabbing that evening so I didn't have time to look for alternative suppliers or check prices. If you want to get drugs outside the hospital doing your treatment I'd suggest you try and get the prescription a week or so before you are due to start. Also consider getting drugs in batches; you don't know how long you'll be stimming for when you start, so best not to order everything at the beginning as you can't return drugs you don't use.

otters sorry you feel sad about getting to IVF; it actually wasn't anywhere as bad as I thought it was going to be in the end, but you have my sympathies.... may change my tune if it doesn't work

barking I hope you've had a lovely night tonight and tomorrow brings good news. I have everything crossed for you.

Hey ladies!

beaky Am off on hols to Sardinia on Sunday but am worried about getting everything off my desk before I go! Were you asking abou acu as well as rain? Anyway, I would def recommend giving acu a try. I started a few weeks ago and find it really relaxing. It also really helped ease off the symptoms when I had OHSS after my EC. My acu lady is a bit woo though, which takes a bit of getting used to when you've been spending half your life at the fertility clinic with straight talking doctors!

barking Well done on your reports, my lovely dad always used to quote that poem to me! There was a little girl and she had a little curl Hope you have a lovely meal tonight and lots of luck for tomorrow.

Hey otters We went straight to IVF: no clomid, no injectibles, no triggers (although we were given the choice of IUI but decided not to bother). Did they give you any reasons as to why they have now taken a different decision? If not then I would press for a third opinion. It may be that IVF is the best option for you and that injectibles are unlikely to succeed. But if you have to wait 12 months for IVF then that's really unfortunate and frustrating.

In any event You need to give yourself some time to process it all. At first there is of course that sadness that it's come to that (I cried pretty much every day for a week after our first FC appt) But after that you do start to feel better that you have a plan and that things are moving forward. I'm glad your BM has been so understanding too.

I've been a little out of touch since the weekend, so have read through the last few pages and made some notes!

Hope the newly diffed berries are doing ok and good luck for the scan tomorrow Batking.

Happy my friend who gave birth last month to a healthy baby girl, conceived after ovulating on day 10.

Tiger well done on making a big decision about the job. Sounds like it was a tough one, but for the best. I admire you for getting involved with the contemporary choir! Sounds fun. I am far too lazy to motivate myself to do anything like that.

All the best to you Kuma in your 2ww!

Nolly I very much liked your epic post yesterday! I'm with you on spooning out eye balls. Very therapeutic it will be. DH isn't going away until end of Jan 2015, so going to keep on trying and see what happens and I guess make plans much nearer the time.

With you there on Beckham, Beaky. Yum. Want to climb him like a tree.

Rain and Wildflower, sorry that you're feeling down and af is in the house. Sucks hey. My spotting started today too. Have decided to call the FC tomorow and ask them to action the IVF referral.

Otters that's pretty shitty BM news, but good that you can confide in her and she has responded so lovely. Doesn't do much to cushion the blow though hey?! Grrr to your DH for smoking. My af's are exactly the same, yet they tell me all hormone levels etc are ok. What do gonal-f injections do? Do you mean you feel upset about the IVF referral?

Right, off to do some shipbuilding.

barking big Berrie power coming your way for tomorrow! I have absolutely everything crossed for you.

Sorry everyone - been so crap on the thread recently except for quick check ins. Crazy work week. Just finished and phone battery about to die. Will read through properly tomorrow.

Xxx

Otters I like Chloe felt sad that it had come to IVF when it was offered to us at the last appointment and I think it has taken me until yesterday to accept that it's a good thing. I'm all for it now.

IVF means selection of the best eggs/sperm/embryos, which can only be a good thing. A fantastic helping hand and something that Mother Nature cannot do.

otters there is something sad about having Ivf. I felt it too. It's like confirmation of natural failure, somehow you feel like a bit of a failure as a woman/couple. It also just seems really final and a big deal. Of course it's great to be offered it and I am so grateful but I do remember coming out of my first meeting,getting into the car and just it hitting me and I burst into tears but as you say you've just got to get on and be ok.

Glad your bm was lovely.

Good lord kuma such a lot of money, grateful we got an nhs cycle. I can't believe the variance in what is expected and offered. Hadn't ever heard of having co tests for smoking, what happens if smoke is detected on it?

Tiger not wanting to ask the obvious but is tigers in the house a bit of a ronseal? Let us know what your rainbow plan says.

wildflower bless you! it's really bloody hard isn't it, remember to share here when feeling crap as there's always a friendly ear.

raindrops I would think the jet washing would clear the endo away for a while. A book I found good to read was Emma cannon's total fertility- it talks about different types of people and if you have blood stagnation(endo etc) what foods etc are good, has a good section on mindfulness too and not too woo but does recommend accu. If you like I could send it on to you if you pm me.

Good luck tomorrow barking! Hope you had a nice meal out, dh and I had a mcdonalds!! V healthy-not!! Has anyone else noticed they've started putting how many calories on the menu boards- it's a case of don't look!!!

otters chloe has nailed it above re the Ivf feelings. And yes it does feel good to have a plan and it actually feels like a weight has been lifted and that you're doing pro active things.

tally I know! This thread only started less than 3 weeks ago and we're on 800+ posts already! We had a quiet period a couple of months back then it all went insane!

kuma I think I took 3 months of roaccutane then ended up in hospital for a week really ill with acute infective colitis. The doctor said it could be caused by the drugs and ripped up my repeat prescription.... Shockingly, when I went back to the dermatologist 10 years later the only thing on offer was still roaccutane! Which obviously I couldn't take because I was TTC.. She helpfully said that getting pg might help my skin. OK, I'll try and do that then....
My trigger was out by 7dpo btw.

tiger glad you liked Lucy's plan. Mine definitely made me feel hopeful as well. There was a medical student with my acupuncturist today, once she'd put all my needles in I could hear her outside the room explaining to the student where she'd put the pins and why. I could only half hear as I had my headphones in listening to my chasing rainbows meditation, but in a strange way it reassured me! As if I'd previously thought she didn't know what she was doing?!

wildflower it is maddening. My AF was so messed up for over a year I never knew if the spotting was AF or not, which led to 4 dildocams at the start of IUI as I had no idea if I was on cd1 or not and didn't want to miss it. You just wish it was either there, or not there, and it would stop pissing you around.

feather I don't have Netflix and it's not on Amazon prime

rain I hope you can get some answers at the FC, even if it's just ruling more stuff out.

otters glad your bridesmaid is being lovely mine defriended me on fb

I had a lovely meal. Stuffed myself to the point of discomfort. Now watching some Stephen King TV show and my knitting is waiting - not finished knitting my gift for the overdue baby yet....

Probably xposted with lots of people....

funky sounds as though you're ready to take the next step to ivf now. Exciting and nervewracking but takes you closer to your goal. What's the deal on the nhs in your area?

Chloe serious holiday envy! Just a couple more days to get through.

bushy yup! baby tigers being reared by a zookeeper in his house in Australia. It was cuteness in the extreme! I'm a sucker for animal programmes.

barking I do feel very positive after getting my personal plan. I feel able to appreciate that there is nothing wrong with me, and to look at everything I'm already doing with more positive eyes. Have bought the additional supplements recommended and will work my way through the various tracks she sent me too. And then who knows - whatever happens at least I'll be a bit less stressy and upset!

Hey feather!