The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

rp wishing you and your dino lots of love today. FX it all goes well

Hi everyone, so much happening in the Berrie camp! Rooting for all of the diffed Berries and your upcoming scans.

Life is a bit mad for me at the moment what with starting a fairly stressful new job and getting married in 6 weeks (eek!). I got a bit tipsy and overshared my ttc 2.5 years, 2 mcs woe with a colleague last night. Turns out the woman I replaced in my job left through stress due to recurrent mc after years of trying for a baby . I hope we both get to have our families now.

Not much happening here ttc wise. Shag week coming up having taken my ELEVENTH bloody cycle of Clomid. Sigh. I have a FC appointment next week to discuss next steps. Apparently I'll be offered 6 months of injectables (Gonal-F) with scans and timed sex but that in my area they don't offer IUI as the success rates don't warrant the treatment . IVF will be offered after that.

Hope everyone is doing okay

beaky this Q&A does sound different - scientific evidence rather than a fertility 'expert'. I've put a question anyway, can't hurt!
I'm the same as you today - can't focus on work, keep coming on mn instead! I'm looking forward to working in an office and not working from home. I'm very anal about claiming my hours, so when I'm not on task I take that off my timesheet, so mn is actually costing me!!

otters that's basically IUI without the selecting of the sperm bit - are the swimmers ok? If so your chances are probably as good as IUI anyway with the injections and scans to monitor. It's good that there's a middle option before IVF. I was told the chances of IUI were 15%.

Ok, got to go and clock back in and concentrate.....

rp fingers crossed for you with the GP. As bushy said you never know, so hang in in there.

Rosie yes, how many days po are you? And when is/was AF due? Your family and friends sound great, but if there is to be any over sharing I really feel that it should be here - so spill.

Hello to everyone else and get back to work those of you who need to....oh damn that includes me!

I've also raised a question about whether there is anything to the idea of there being mental rather than physical blocks to conception.

Hi otters! 6 weeks to your wedding - exciting times! Gosh I can't believe the pathway your FC insist you follow. That's a lot of clomid. I can't remember - did you ovulate at all without it?

Feeling better although very crampy now. Af is due so that's probably contributing.

Otter - 11 cycles! Wow. I thought 6 was the limit.

RP - that is a bugger. Hope it's just a false alarm.

Tiger - I wonder the same. There is no physical reason I can't conceive so maybe it's stress? My life is nothing but stress.

Rosie - if you've got em flaunt em!

Chloe - I will take the day off. I do a lot of lifting at work so I think I'll give work a miss.

I'm sure I've missed people (I'm tired) but I hope everything is peachy keen.

We had our initial meeting today. Learnt about the drugs, peoceedures, the cost and everything else. Do you normally have one or two implanted?

Yep, 11 cycles serenity, 11 bloody cycles with a mmc and a cp thrown in for good measure.

I didn't ovulate at all before the Clomid tiger which is why they'll give me 6 months of trying with the Gonal-f injections. DP's spermies were fine when last tested barking but that was over a year ago so I'm going to insist he's retested soon.

Keeping everthing crossed for you and your dinobabe RP

otters are you NHS? That's ridiculous, how long have you been trying in total? As barking says the gonal f bit with scans is essentially iui but without them selecting and putting swimmers in for you. At least you'll have some monitoring I suppose. My FC don't do iui anymore either as they say the success rate is too low but they are doing mine as a one off cause the dr offered it to me. I think the benefits are that I will be scanned which will show me what is actually going on in there and I should def ovulate which it doesn't look like I'm doing so it's got to be a higher chance than a normal cycle for me. Hope you're ok otherwise.

Rosie how did I miss that! Poas??!!

Serenity sounds like things are moving quickly. I think here they seem decide on whether they are putting one of two back during the procedure when they see how it pans out.

Wildflower where are you with things at the mo? Sorry I can't remember.

RP thinking about you and hoping everything is ok.

Hi all, sorry not to respond to everyone else's ishoos - feeling very self-absorbed at the mo'! - but quick update since people have been kind enough to ask :)

So last night I became increasingly worried as my GP couldn't guarantee me an appt today. They said probably but not sure. So DH took me to OOH GP. He was lovely but frickin' weird (sample moment: he does a pg test: obvs it is positive: he points at me dramatically and stage whispers 'you are pregnant. Yes! That is what the two lines mean!' ).

Anyhow as well as being weird he was quite thorough. He did a physical exam (external), BP, oxygen saturation, UTI test etc. He concluded that I have a 'threatening MC' meaning it has not happened yet but it is likely to. The embryo may or may not be alive/ attached. He booked me an EPU scan for Monday when I will be 7+0 but the bleeding is getting heavier last night and today so I don't think there will be anything left to see by then. :(

I know there is some hope still but it is easier to think hope is gone than to keep clinging on.

rp glad you got to see weird doctor and that you have a scan to find out what is going on. Fx it is good news.

Instadiffer secretary in the office who is not long back from maternity leave announced today she is having another one and is walking around withan obvious bump, i want to be happy for her but I keep thinking 'that should be me' I am not feeling like a nice person at the moment but I am blaming the hormones. First injection tonight at 8, think of me and my needle phobia

Oh RP it may still be nothing. I will be thinking of you and crossing all my fingers that everything is still ok. Really hope this bleeding stops and is nothing. Glad you got to see a dr even if he was bizarre!

Lumen good luck with stabbing tonight, will think of you around 8pm. Sorry about twice instadiffer work colleague. I've not been feeling like a nice person recently but I have no hormones to blame I think it's frustration and stress. Hope you are ok.

I'll be hoping for you in this corner rp xx

It's all so unfair isn't it?!

I don't blame you for not jumping for joy that your instadiffer secretary is pg lumen. Good luck with the injections. Are you going to do them yourself or get your dh to do it?

Thx beaky and tiger. I will have to do all injections myself as dh works shifts so will not be around lucky sod

rp what a strange gp. Sorry you're still bleeding, it's so stressful. Fingers crossed time passes as quickly as it possibly can until Monday when you'll get your answer. Limbo is horrible.

lumen Don't feel bad about not being happy for instadiffer secretary, I'm a total bitch. There are very few people I'm happy for. My next door neighbour, who has pushed two out since we've been trying (she already had two), is not one of them.
Good luck with the injections, the first is the worst, then after that it's not the unknown anymore! If you're worried about it put some ice on first, the area will be totally numbed and you won't even feel it go in, I did this for the first few. Also, I wasn't told to 'pinch' some skin, but other berries advised me to do it that way and it was easier.

tiger good question, I'll be interested to see the answer. I thought I might as well throw mine on there as well - evidence would be good!

How are you doing hb?

serenity over here the one or two question seems to be largely dependant on quality of embryos, age of woman and preference of clinic.

otters how are you feeling about it? Positive, or chomping at the bit to jump to IVF?

Right, off for more bloody acupuncture. I wish I found it relaxing like some people, I just find it a chore and an inconvenience! But if it works.....

Howdy berries,

The wanderer returns again!

Just had a quick skim of the thread and both good and bad to see lots of the same names here...

rp sorry to hear your news, take it easy over the next few days, look after yourself, eat well and rest. And get MrPeasant to look after you too.

lumen I'll be at my meditation class this evening, so when I think of you at 8 you will get extra strong Berrie thought beams. I hope you're ready!

beaky I'm halfway through the 2ww right now. At hycosy in May the consultant suggested we wait two more months to see if the jet wash effect works and then it would be IVF time. I can only think about IVF as a way of doing further investigations. Otherwise it makes me stressed at the thought of so much riding on that cycle. We'd need to go private as DH already has 3 grown up DCs.

Are you even on the list woman? Bad berry .
But very nice to see you , have a swing in the hammock of hope and a cup of [tea].

Ok, so it's not [tea] it's . You can tell I'm usually on the app.....

Thinking of you RP x
Bushy is your scan tomorrow?

Thanks everyone who has posted kind thoughts! I will pull my head out of my backside and talk about other people's news at some point.

Just had a moment today: had to cancel work trip to York (7-hour train ride away) just now as conflicts with EPU scan, plus GP said it's not great to travel. So rang up the train company who won't refund as it was an advance ticket - fine - but BEFORE telling me that the operator asked for all the details of my 'medical problem'. So I rehearsed it all and then he said too bad.

Fucker. Why did he make me tell him all that personal shit?

RP, I'm so sorry to hear the news. I am really crossing everything for you and sending Berrie vibes that all will turn out well but can understand that you want to keep your expectations low.

Beaky, no POAS necessary (already got a BFN day before yesterday). Think I am about 14 dpo (15 acc to Period Tracker). I am guessing AF will be here tomorrow. And yes, DP works away three days a week which is really unhelpful for timing dtd. He's managed to organise working from home for the next shag week, let's hope I get him in the mood.

Otters! Good to see you. Not long to the wedding. I hope that makes you smile and keeps you from ruminating too much about other things

lumen, good luck tonight.

Serenity, mmh, not that much to flaunt, really. "Massive" for me means going from B to C around AF time and, to be honest, it rarely fails to amaze me and make me a little bit proud of them. I'm the flat one in the family which is regularly pointed out by all of them, including nieces/ nephew. So there is some oversharing for you, Wildflower You can tell I am in a particularly good mood today for absolutely no reason (can't be AF then, can it?).

sparechange, not sure we've met but hey, good to see you.

Throws everybody a dazzling smile and showers everybody with loving kindness (if that is too sickeningly sweet, give me a slap or something, I'll happily take it)

Oh, RP, that's rubbish. He really did not need to pry. DP would say, let's go and throw eggs at the f*er's car.

rp that's pants

Ok, Wildflower, if I'm properly allowed to spill then I can admit that my good mood also stems from having seen my school reunion picture. I avoided going as it would have been to expensive to fly over having just got back from a funeral and because I wanted to avoid being judged for not being diffed, married or already with DC(s), i.e. I just didn't want to feel like a failure. And my bestest friend wasn't there either. Anyway, I saw the picture and thought for a moment: I could have rocked that. I could have been the glamorous, cosmopolitan one (and the total opposite of my school self) and shown them all that I have become a successful, attractive but still kind and nice woman. So I'm giving myself a 'Yay me' today.