The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Cool. Thanks barking. I totally know what you mean re dates, expectations etc. I'm the same. My oh just keeps reminding me that we have to "take it
One day at a time" - he's right.

My DH won't even do that, he's got his head totally in the sand. He's told everyone who knew about and has asked (including his best mate who he normally talks to about anything, and his mother) that it wasn't good news, and he won't let me speak about it without saying 'let's just wait and see'. I'm quite jealous that it's not his body things are happening or not happening in. Makes it a lot harder to ignore!

My dh hasn't told any family or friends we are having issues ttc or that we are undergoing IVF. Makes spending time with them v hard and we are going to stay with PIL over the weekend. I think it is easier for them as it is not their bodies and they are not constantly symptom spotting. Hope your men are both better after scans.

Keeping everything crossed for all, but especially those with scans this week and next week. I'm a natural pessimist so I expected the worst, but it has to be good news sometimes so keep a glimmer of hope berries! x

Thanks bunny that's lovely.

barking know what you mean! I don't really feel pg either. I was in tesco earlier and a woman was looking studiously at the pg tests. it seemed a lifetime ago that I was doing that and getting the checkout person to take off the security box. I just thought I feel immune to it, like it's not happening. This false start has made me feel this way and I check myself if I think pg thoughts or thoughts about the future. In one way it's good as it makes you live in the present, in another it's sad as you can't get lost in the day dreams that 'normal' pg women would. I let myself do that just after the bfp then had that dreadful week of heavy bleeding and that massive UFO.. Not flying but you know what I mean!!

I'm spotting again . Get worried each time I have a 'damp' feeling down below.

lumen I love your idea of us all living by each other, we could party, eat unsuitable cheeses, lick Mr Whippies, ride bikes, drink wine, all those unsuitable pg lady things, then when the massive clusterdiff and birth happens we could all be nice, normal baby buddies.

funky you go girl, impressed!!

tiger sorry you're feeling shitty, the peppermint tea will def help. Did you contact your doctor?

I did the most silly thing earlier. We have I pads at school and a shared Dropbox account. I'd used my I pad to take photos of the blob that fell out my pants and the positive pg tests. A male colleague said to me that my photos were uploading to the main stream and there were a load of Christmas ones on there but he'd deleted them. I just suddenly thought ' nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!' Good God does that mean my pg test photos and blob photo have been on where anyone could see them??? Got colleague to show me how to untick the upload button and he didn't say anything, he'd said earlier there wasn't anything dodgy. What a ding bat!! I've now safely got the pics off the I pad and think I now know what I'm doing. Terrible eh!!

Oh cripes Bushy I'd have been ill if that happened to me! Anyway hope the spotting has gone.

All you diffed berries, I really feel for you cause of the constant stress and worry. How are you all doing?

Tiger hope you are ok now and rang the drs about the coughing blood.

I had to make up with dh as had a lot of ewcm and that's really unusual for me so thought I'd better get on it! Re telling people, I've not told anyone we are ttc but it's come out that dh has actually told at least 5 people! Arghhhh.

Am feeling loads better and no more coughing blood or being sick Even managed to eat a jacket potato and salad for dinner....didn't ring in the end as I didn't want to end up traipsing back to the hospital. Just think my sinuses are a bit affected as also had a nosebleed. Will stop grossing people out now, sorry!

beaky best to just kiss and make up! Are you cross that your dh has told people? I think it can be hard for blokes in that as my oh pointed out, they don't have mumsnet or equivalent to confide in.

bushy that is not what you'd want to share with colleagues! Doesn't sound as though they saw anything though!

barking sounds like self preservation from your dh. If only we could escape our bodies!

Hey ladies! So much to catch up on...

rosie Sorry for the BFN. Even when I know the chances are low in any given month there's always a little bit of hope in the back of my mind that it might just work. Good luck for this cycle - Fx.

happy Maybe you'll manage a FUFC, that would cheer me up!

feather Enjoy your first few days as Mr&Mrs, glad you had a great day!

tiger Great news you got the all clear at your scan, hope you're feeling better soon.

barking You're doing the right thing taking it easy even if it does mean missing out on lots. I know it must be really frustrating, but at least you know you've done everything you possible can.

bushy I've never noticed that on the 30DS videos (yes she is gay).I'll have to pay more attention! TBH I don't blame her as some of those girls look hot!

serenity I would definitely recommend taking at least one day off after your transfer. I had 2 off and was really glad as I had mild OHSS and was really quite sore afterwards. Nothing to worry about, but I really would not have wanted to be in work. My dr has said I can go straight back to the office after the transfer. He is very much in the "IVF is no big deal" school of thought. I know some are a lot more cautious and say you should rest a lot. I guess everyone has to decide for themselves. When we do our FET I will take the day of transfer off, but largely because I am planning on having acu before and after.

lumen Great news that you are downregged and ready to roll! Good luck with the injections. I was quite surprised at how easily I got used to them, I'm sure you'll be fine. Re your questions: yes I'm in Germany; we're off to Sardinia on hols so hopefully it will be nice and hot.

Hello to everyone else who've I've missed off, there is too much to keep up with!

Tiger glad things have settled down and you're feeling a bit better. Do you think you will try acu as others have suggested? I was annoyed at 3 of the people dh has told as I know them as well and they are just nosey frankly. One of them is fine and the other is his boss so I didn't mind about them. He did say originally that we wouldn't tell anyone!

chloe Sardinia will be lovely! A nice break before et too to "just relax" haha!

Hi all.... Today has not been a happy day. I had a 9am meeting 90 miles away so up at 5.30 to start driving. Got there fine despite no sleep, made it through the day with periodic knockerwatch and was feeling quite proud of myself....

Drove back to office around 5 and found massive blood stain in knickers. Decided to ring GP on forlorn hope. They couldn't help but said I could try getting an emergency appt tomorrow, failing that, A&E as our EPU doesn't accept self referrals.

At that point my boss knocked on my door about something else, asked if I was okay, to which I said yes and then burst into tears she was great and basically said she would cover my meetings tomorrow so I can go to the GP.

...I then had a dinner meeting as well (ffs) so had then to repair my face and go out for dinner with my boss's boss and an external. Which I did. Except I was supposed to be seeing boss's boss for 1.5 hours tomorrow and he might not be impressed if I just cancelled on med grounds having seen me out the night before. So I told him enough. He was lovely too, so I'm off the hook for work tomorrow. Except I might go in around GP appt because we have workmen in all day.

Short of some miracle, I don't think there is much real hope now. I was having bad pains throughout today and this amount of blood is like the early stages of AF, so I think this one is over. Poor dinosaur :(

Hang in there RP, you poor thing.
Red blood or brown blood? Are you still having pains? What are your dates? x

Oh rp am hoping so hard for you and your dinosaur xx

RP I really really hope it comes to nothing and everything is ok for you. Hugs and a hand to hold from me x

Berries did you see there's a Q&A thread been posted with some fertility experts? You can post q's now and the answers will be up in a couple of weeks.

rp at the risk of sounding slightly very hypocritical it's not over yet, keep the hope. Plenty of women do bleed rather more than helps the stress levels. A colleague of mine who I was with when I took the results phone call last week said she bled lots in her second pregnancy but everything was fine. I hope the gp is helpful tomorrow. Have more and some .

Glad you're feeling better tiger.

Chloe I love Sardinia, beautiful mountains and coastline . Enjoy!

I've just had some horrible news from a friend that makes my worries seem ridiculously pathetic . In a very reflective mood now.

beaky they had one of those last year. Boodle asked about her short LP and the expert said all women had a 14 day LP .

The fertility expert last year was a complete twonk who knew about as much as my little toenail

Too kind, merk, your little toenail knows far more.

arr rp please don't give up the faith. I had what you'd call a massive bleed with v weird lump, quite a lot of pain and bled for about a week varying from spotting to heavy and the pg tests still came back pg and you know on my last scan they could see a pg but just not as far on as should be. Hopefully by Thursday I will know more and would love to be able to tell you that despite my bleed everything is fine.

RP, oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I am also willing the little dinosaur to cling on and hope it's all just part of this ridiculous mindf* we seem to have to go through to get to the end result.

Bushy, that would have freaked me out, too. Hoping it is all sorted now. Technology, eh? DP had a right strop yesterday at some IT stuff not working. Had to get him to do 20 minutes of mindfulness later on to cool off - by then to late to dtd

Barking, I am glad to hear you are taking it easy although it must be hard as you seem to be such an active person.

Tiger, good to see you are feeling better and that the op results are generally good. Keeping fingers crossed this will help things along

Chloe, is you OTD date coming up any time soon?

Beaky, oh, the WSF, she is horrible, isn't she? I don't do specific work meditation, just breathing meditation to calm the mind. So I can at least try to focus on work rather than googling and MN.

Funky, I am well impressed. We would not manage that streak. We are unlikely to be in the same house together for more than 5 nights in a row.

Re the sharing: I overshare, so I have pretty much told everyone (well, close friends, that is). DP has told some of his close friends (who dutifully said that I should relax even if it is his swimmers that are awol) and his work colleagues as he wants them to stop him from drinking or at least not judge him for not drinking. My family has boundary issues so no point keeping things from them and as my sister has been through it it's good to know they know the drill and the heartache that comes with it. My dad is most supportive if a little bit at a loss as to what to say and how to cheer me up. Bless him.

Have just come back from a lovely evening with colleagues. So good to take my mind off things at times. Oh and AF still not here. Maybe tomorrow? So far no spotting. Just massive boobs...

Anyway, good night lovely ladies. I'm so lucky I found you. xx

Rp I'll be thinking if you today. really hoping for you.

Rosie how many dpo? my lp has ranged from 11 to 16 days so I never test, but...?

Just a quick one to say RP I'm so sorry you're having a stressful time. Hang in there we are keeping everything crossed for you x

Hope you managed some sleep rp, and that you get some reassurance from the GP.

Hope all goes well for you and your dinosaur today rp, thinking of you x

Oh disappointing to hear about last times Q&A I don't thing I was on mn then. I've posted a q about inducing ovulation naturally and was going to ask about irregular bleeding.

RP how are you today? Crossing everything that all is ok.

Rosie I may try that as I keep mindlessly going from trying an email/drafting docs etc to googling and wizzing around mumsnet for a browse! Your family sound lovely and supportive. Are you and your dh apart some nights for work reasons? I have a similar problem sometimes due to my dh's working hours.

How are you batking hope you are managing ok with that horrible other news.

Tiger how are you feeling today?

Thinking of you rp. Sending you masses of Berrie power and hoping, hoping, hoping all is ok. Xxx