The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

thanks Lumen. and HB, tiger - I had a funny conversation with OH about tactless comments. He's seen none (partly because he's a wilfully cheerful and optimistic person but also … cos he's a bloke? I don't know. anyway, he was shocked to hear:

"why don't you have an affair" (OH comment: 'but I don't think that woudl help!' bless).
"you shouldn't leave it too late you know (OH: 'no, i'm sure she didn't mean it')
"why don't you guys have kids yet?" ('no one would be that tactless! you must have misheard).

I am the evil witch in our family of 2. we have a division of labour - he gets the car, insurance, curries and making difficult decisions, I get vegetables, temperature, travel arrangements and culture. and Being Evil.

Feather glad you had an amazing day and have a lovely honeymoon! Hope you manage to enjoy everything and not stress about things too much yeah right!

Rosie sorry it's a bfn but there's still time! Was it a specific work meditation you did? I have mini hypnosis type ones that I'm going start doing again as I'm not sleeping well but could do with some work stuff. The WSF is getting me down and I got yelled at twice by half nine this morning!

Lumen great news that you are all down regged now and ready for stimming next week! Hope you manage the needles. Good luck I think my iui will be early July.

Barking RP Bushy and you other differs!! Don't leave! we are happy having you around, rooting for you and listening to the preggo chat/offering hands to hold. Also you give me hope when the FSF is flapping round my head.

Tiger great news all is well! Your puppy is so cute! Bless her looking after you. Re the heavy and painful periods have you had a dildocam? They picked up adenomyosis on mine which is a cause of very heavy painful but I think it can only be picked up on a scan.

I really really dislike holly wiloboobie. And a third diff hasn't helped especially as it's accidental arghhh.

Because glad your puppy is doing well and also that you are too. It's such a stressful business you have to really look after yourself. I'm quite jealous of your sabattical!

Nolly enjoy your bottle of wine! In the face of the disapproving instadiffers. My cousin recent asked me was I preggo yet and why not, what was wrong. Grr. I thought the same when I read the article, it's like someone has described it for me without me having to speak. Some of the comments really wound me up though.

Rain hope you defeat the WSF and hope the 2ww flies over!

Lumen I'm the same! I had no idea of the majority of what goes on until I found mn. Don't know what id do without everyone now!

Sorry if I've missed anyone the thread moves so quickly!

Nolly those comments are shitty. Men never seem to get it though do they.

Happy meant to say my dh is the same, he could knock one out pretty much anywhere as and when! Handy I suppose!

Still keeping an eye on you all.

feather glad you had a fab wedding.

Recent BFPers, do you have early scans coming up? Bushy do you have your second this week?

P.s. tiger Nurse pooch is adorable!!! Glad lap went well but frustrating that they didn't really find anything.

Hi y'all!

because yay another pug person. I have two.

rosie Mother Nature is a bitch. I am envious of your ability to meditate. I'm not patient enough.

nolly wine is a fruit. It's healthy

Bloody cat made me delete the rest of the post.
Oh well.
Hope everyone is well.

I told my DM and DB and instadiffer DSIL yesterday about the IVF.
Mum doesn't really get it. She thnks it's a good thing. She's part of the 'just relax it will happen' gang. Oh and she mentioned surrogacy! Um why? I'm pretty sure my uterus works. Nothing else does .

Serenity how frustrating for you. It's a worrying and stressful thing to tell people about so a supportive reaction would be lovely in that situation. and to you.

Yes second scan this Thursday.

Dh got the awkward questions tonight. He'd gone out with a friend and was asked were we still trying. He tried to be as vague as possible but his friend was quite persistent and was asking had we had tests etc. Dh just said yeah, yeah, all fine, it's just not coming together and we don't know why but we're just carrying on, not that bothered about it, if it happens, it happens!! Well done dh, makes a change that he was getting the awkward questions.

I think the thing is, amongst our friends and at our age ( probably something you guys can relate to too) being childless we're a bit of a curiosity.

Yep Bushy we are exactly that with ours too! I can't really think of any childless couples from my friends and close family. Sounds like your dh did very well in the circumstances!

bushy and beaky we too are the only childless ones (excluding those childless by choice) and it does make for interesting discussions. Sounds like your DH did well bushy.

I've just told everyone. No secrets here. I figure it stops the constant barrage of questions. DH and I work for the same organisation and everyone knows everything about everyone anyway.

good for you,serenity.I'd like to too - or I think I would.but actually I think I prefer relying on good old British repressedness... mainly people don't ask and even those who do don't say anything. thank the Lord. oh doesn't want to tell parents because they would then ask all the time... he's right about that.

Ouch. Bring back the warm and fuzzy feeling. From yesterday's drugs! Terrible indigestion too.

Yes - don't leave us you lovely diffed lot! Love the updates and we're all here for handholding till you're well on your way and beyond.

Hey because glad to hear you're getting on ok! Your pug sounds adorable, bless!

bushy sounds like your dh did well to fend off the questions. It's not easy in the face of direct questioning!

Hey rain hope work calms down for you soon x

serenity your mum is probably just trying to be positive for you - it is a good thing! People so often seem to proffer crap advice though! I've told a few friends now, and my mum and sister.

rp I think the technical term is arcuate uterus and its very common. Just a slight indent - in the pictures I've seen it's barely noticeable and apparently will not cause any problems.

beaky I've had hsg, hysteroscopy, laparascopy and dildocam - absolutely nothing found. Fsh etc all good - described as excellent ovarian reserve on clinic letter. Progesterone looks good, dh swimmers gone from good to excellent. Chart shows normal cycles etc all regular. Absolutely no reason anyone can find as to why we have not made a baby yet. Am at a total loss! Healthy diet, not too much alcohol, no caffeine for 18 months or wheat for 3 months. Yoga and loads of walking. Bmi 22.5 so spot on for ttc, could probably lose a little bit if I give up chocolate...

..any ideas?! I'm considering hypnotherapy or a proper detox.

We are also the only childless couple amongst friends and family, maybe we should all move near each other and be RL friends then none of us would get the awkward questions

Good idea lumen!

Glad all went well yesterday Tiger. Very frustrating that they can't find anything not as it should be. I'm sure you'd rather find something not quite right so that something could be done and then bingo, problem solved. I said this a couple of threads back and I still believe it may be the case for a lot of unexplained couples... Thrombophilia. They don't test for it until after 3 miscarriages usually. I was offered the test as a perk of me and dh working for nhs! Surprisingly despite no symptoms throughout my life so far I actually have it. Next time/ if I ever get pregnant again I will take aspirin and have daily heparin injections until 36 weeks. Having thrombophilia can also cause problems with implantation for which my consultant doesn't seem to be doing anything about. I have put myself on aspirin from about 7dpo each cycle just in case. Consultant has previously said never to take aspirin unless pregnant as it affects the egg quality. But I know some women take it throughout their cycles and never have problems. Anyway, that's my thought. Thrombophilia has a few different types and is actually fairly common in our population. It's not completed as a standard test as it's quite an expensive one to complete and I guess we just aren't worth it.
Feather I don't think I've been on since the weekend, so I hope you had a beautiful wedding.
All diffed berries I hope you're doing well.
Chloe, happy that things are going to plan and you're properly 'shut down' so to speak.
2dpo here and just finished a sexual marathon. 5 days in a row. This ttc is enough to put you off sex for life.

Sorry, meant Lumen above, not Chloe.

Funky well done on the sexathon!

I might have a casual chat to our anticoag team as I've been doing a lot of work with them recently, see what they think generally about the link with fertility.

Sorry tmi but have been very sick this morning. I thought it was a miracle that all those drugs and the ga had not made me throw up. Daren't take anything else for pain relief until I can manage to eat

You're all going to have to put up with me posting loads whilst off work. I can't manage much more than typing on my phone at the moment!

Tiger hope you are feeling a bit better soon. It's so strange that you've have nearly everything going and nothing has come up. I don't have any other suggestions unfortunately. Maybe ask for the test Funky has suggested?

Lumen yes, that would be so much easier!

Funky well done on your hardcore shag week! I had an argument with my dh this morning about it all so doesn't even look like we will be doing the fun sex anytime soon or until I am not in a mood anymore! totally out this cycle.

How's everyone else today?

X post Tiger sorry you are so ill. Would you take a soluble aspirin maybe for pain relief? I find them quite mild if you've been sick. Hope you feel better soon. and stay away from dr google while you are sofa ridden

tiger poor you. Try and keep as hydrated as possible and, if you can stomach it, try ginger water. Just slice up some fresh ginger and drop it into a bottle of mineral water and let it stand for an hour or so and then take small sips. Also, you asked what else you could try: acu???

bunny having my first scan on Friday at 10am and I am bricking it. I'd be very surprised if this bean is where it's meant to be. I'm going in expecting bad news so that I'm not devastated when I get it.

bushy and beaky I'm lucky enough to have several mates who are choosing not to have kids so me and oh just find ourselves hanging out with them more.

nolly sorry about the crappy comments - people, including family, can be so insensitive.

seren you are so brave. Better out than in. Freeing yourself of a secret must be very liberating - wish I could do that!

Hope you are feeling better soon tiger. Post on here as much as you need xxx

Sorry tmi alert - have just coughed up blood. Think I will ring the FC if I don't feel any better by lunchtime...

feather I will try that. I am also on the peppermint tea.

I'm really hoping for lots of good news from all you diffed berries! Hoping so hard and thinking of you all so much!

I would give them a call tiger if you have coughed up blood

nolly the reaction to tactless comments sounds familiar. When we got 'oh you really don't want one' from the mother that knew about our mc (same time as she announced she was pg) and had just asked about the IUI, DH just said 'she didn't mean to be nasty'. He tries to see the good in everyone and sometimes I just want him to be a bitch like me!!

bunny my scan isn't until next Thursday, another 9 days to wait not counting at all.

serenity I think what I've learnt through all of this shit ttc stuff, is that some people just don't get it at all, and there's no point trying to explain things. I have occasionally had to ask friends to just stop trying to say 'helpful' things as it's making it worse. Like my best friend who kept saying after the mc that it was really good news I got pg. Er, no. Please stop talking now. I didn't get pg naturally so it's not like it proves it can happen anytime, and having then losing a baby isn't good news at all.

bushy why do people not take the hint?! A friend of mine came round after we'd got the letter for the IUI appointment and she saw it on the table so the secret was out. I told her about the injections etc as there was no point lying and she knew when it was happening but after the trigger shot I told her I didn't want to talk about it as I was trying to put it out of my mind ha ha but she won't let it rest. Keeps saying 'so how are things with you?' in a very pointed way. She even said a couple of days ago 'so when are you back at the hospital?' I still don't want to talk about it!!!

Until last year the majority of our friends were also child free. We've had 15 babies/bumps just since last summer, and that's not including the ones you hear about (email/text/fb) but are able to avoid. It's just ridiculous, and very unsettling as everyone has suddenly started on this journey that we wanted to go on too, but despite starting way before most of them, we've been left behind. The first producers are starting to talk about trying for their second now .

beaky I'd second feather on the acupuncture if you haven't tried it yet.

feather how far gone will you be on Friday?

tiger definitely call someone about the blood if you haven't already.

Phew, takes so long to catch up at the moment!

barking I ovulated on 15-16 May so that plus the obligatory two weeks will make me around 6 weeks...? Anyone know?

tiger deffo call the clinic re coughing blood. It could be because of an irritated throat from being sick.

Either 6 weeks or 6w+1 then feather. I know I'll be 6w+3 at my scan if there's anything there to see but I'm studiously avoiding knowing when my edd would be. If the worst happens again I don't want to know, the last edd was etched in my mind very strongly and the build up to the day was awful. I really don't feel remotely like I'm pg, after being told I'd need a miracle at the first blood test I just feel like I'm in limbo and delaying the grief that will come at either next week's scan or the one after. The increase in hcg by the second doesn't seem to have given me the tiniest bit of encouragement that it might be ok, which is why I'm still resenting all the stuff I'm not doing 'in case' as I feel it's a waste of time and I'm missing out for no good reason. Feel totally numb, it's quite strange.